Ready to give up

Sparrow197

before my 2 kids, I was a healthy, muscular size 4. Now, I am a flabby size 10 and truly hate myself. My daughter is 11 months old, and I have just recently weaned her from breastfeeding (she moved on to table foods). I had lost 5 pounds, and was so excited to be making some progress, but stepped on the scale this week to find I had gained it back. I have been exercising every day, a mix of strength and cardio (trail running is my crack), and eating small portions of healthy foods. I am consistently under my 1200 calorie per day goal.
When I found my weight still sitting at 166, I had a breakdown. I feel like my effort has been for nothing. I can't stand being this huge forever.

wonderwomanwannaB

You are going to get this from a lot of people... so be prepared.

You aren't eating enough. Your goal is something that is set to be met, not to come in under. Your body needs those calories and might hold on to what it's got if it isn't getting what it needs.

This is especially if you are exercising a lot. I'm around the same wt. as you, and although we are all different, 1600 plus eating back exercise is giving me steady loss.

silvergurl518

we all get down about our weights, and one man's 166 is another man's 450. but let me tell you something. you need to get out of self-loathing. that is NOT healthy. even unhealthier than being slightly overweight. because attitude is everything. please seek outside help if you find that you're hating yourself. as you say, "truly" hating yourself. because yoour kids need a healthy mama!

Masterdo

Well, what you will get the most for answers is probably that you are not eating enough. If you are consistently below 1200 and exercise a lot while eating that amount... you are definitely not eating enough.

Check your BMR, you can use tools like the military calculator on www.fat2fitradio.com

You can't really take shortcuts or do this in a hurry. Take the time to read about BMR and TDEE, adapt your daily food intake accordingly and it'll slowly come off

Good luck!

teripendleton

Don't give up, it will work. Your body may need to adjust a little if you lost five pounds all at once. You may need to tweak a few things. Look at how many carbs vs how much protein you are eating, are your calorie counts accurate (measuring vs guessing)? Are you taking in enough fluids? The biggest mistake people make is giving up too soon, me included. I just lost ten pounds twice. If I had stuck with it, I would have been almost at my goal. As it is, I need to lose 15 more instead of 5 because I gave up. Hang in there!

ggg10031955

Please don't give up. I too, was ready to give up. I have been on this now for just about a month. My scale and I just don't get along with each other. So far, I have only lost three pounds and I wish it could have been more. I have been under my calorie intake and have been hitting the streets running about 10 miles a day that I dont work. The other days I am at the gym doing Zumba classes, running on the treadmill and doing weights. For all of that, three poulds. I am not going to give up...figure sooner than later the scale has to start to go down. If not, well, I just don't know what I will do with myself.

JeSuisPrest

You are going to get this from a lot of people... so be prepared.

You aren't eating enough. Your goal is something that is set to be met, not to come in under. Your body needs those calories and might hold on to what it's got if it isn't getting what it needs.

This is especially if you are exercising a lot. I'm around the same wt. as you, and although we are all different, 1600 plus eating back exercise is giving me steady loss.

Yes!!!! I love when I see that someone else get this. We need to full our bodies. When we properly fuel our bodies it will burn the fat and calories more efficiently!!! don't give up!!! This is so worth it! It needs to be a lifestyle change and take it one day at a time!

lovinbeinold

I personally think the first step in successful improvement is in improving one's attitude. Are we going to do good things for someone we love, or someone we hate?

Huge at size 10? Honey, I would be thrilled beyond belief to wake up a size 10 tomorrow. I would be dancing on clouds. I would sing it to the heavens.

My feeling is to not have a pity party with yourself, but to find your internal, personal power, love yourself as you are at any given moment and any given size.

I finally ddi that, and only after I did that was I able to calm myself long enough to really search out a good solid way to live. I am on a quest for health, not weight loss. But the weight loss is a happy side effect for me. I'm happy about losing nearly 40 pounds.

Love yourself before you move one more step toward weight loss. If you hate anything about yourself, you might be sabotaging yourself.

Don't demand it be done overnight. It could take a couple of years to do it and do it well. But that time will pass whether you give up ocmpletely, or learn to love yourself.

Love, health, and after that, losing weight will be a lot easier. You sound under stress, and believe me, stress is a deal breaker with your body. You can break a lot of the chain of stress with love and care for yourself.

myfitnessnmhoy

All I can say is stick with it.

But what you may be doing is cheating yourself by lowering your metabolism. Being consistently under your goal is not what you want to do. Being consistently NEAR it is better. Being consistently near it with your foods coming from a balance of fats, proteins, and carbs with your sugars being at or under goal is best.

I lost 50 pounds about a decade ago. It took me a year. I did it by restricting my calorie intake, and in retrospect I had it too low. My overall outlook was not good, I was really down on myself, and I got through the year of misery with lots of ugly plateaus, a lot of problems, and not much joy.

My food has, by and large, always been healthy. But it's the balance of healthy foods that you need.

Now I try to eat within a couple hundred calories of the recommendations, eat all my "exercise credits", and keep my sugars down to an absolute minimim. I'm losing weight far faster now that I'm trying to be stricter about WHAT I eat, and not necessarily how much.

I find that now that I've balanced my carbs down and my fats and proteins up, I'm feeling a lot more full at the end of the day, and my energy levels are great, and I'm still losing weight.

And 10 isn't flabby. Stop being so hard on yourself, take a hard look at your diet, and go and be the person you want to be.

grex1949

Please don't give up. Just try adding some calories to your intake so you get to about a 500 calorie per day deficit. The weight will come off. Remember that you are setting an example for your little one. Make it a good example; show her that determination pays off!

myurav

it sounds like there are a few things going on:

1. you should probably be eating more. your body is probably still adjusting from giving birth. also, you need energy to burn energy!
2. instead of focusing exclusively on cardio, throw in some weights. they are excellent for boosting metabolism and losing inches. while it doesn't reflect as much on the scale, you can definitely tell in the mirror.
3. love yourself! as many people on this site can attest to, your attitude won't necessarily change just because the numbers on the scale are going down. if you are feeling very angry with yourself, please either talk to someone or work on being more positive. otherwise, it will be difficult to be happy with your body no matter what the numbers on the scale say.

this is a lifestyle change - it's not all or nothing. just take it easy, start slowly, and you will see the results. also, if you start weight lifting, stay away from the scale for a while. your muscles will retain a lot of water, and you will build muscles. buut, you will see the inches come off.

good luck, and stick to it! feel free to add me as a friend

dvisser1

You won't be that big forever if you stick with it. Slow, steady work will get you the results you want. You didn't put on all the weight overnight, you're not going to lose it that fast either.

Having just weened your daughter off breast feeding I expect you're dealing with some hormone fluctuation that might have caused some of the weight gain. Try to be patient for a few more weeks as that settles down.

As for your eating, are you trying to stay under 1200 calories total for the day or 1200 calories net after exercise? If you're trying to stay under 1200 total calories consumed for the day, and exercising a good bit, that's not enough. Staying a little under 1200 calories net (basically eating your 1200 plus eating most of your exercise burned calories) is better. MFP starts you off on a calorie deficit, so staying under that target is putting extra strain on your body.

Exercising with strength training is great. Strength training is also the quickest way to add muscle mass, and 1 lbs of muscle is a much smaller pile than 1 lbs of fat. Have you been taking body measurements? As you exercise you can be staying at the same weight while losing fat and reshaping your body simply by adding muscle.

Hang in there, you can do this!

MinnieInMaine

You're struggling with the same problem a lot of people do when they start exercising - you're either staying the same or gaining when you fully expect to have lost after all that sweat and effort. There are two main sources of this frustration...

1) as others have said, if you're not eating enough (eat back at least half of your exercise calories), you're going to be in starvation mode and therefore your body will want to store nutrients instead of giving them up and the scale won't move.

2) when you first start working out, or start working out harder than you were, you create tiny tear in your muscles and those muscle fibers retain water as part of the healing process. A lot of people mistakingly think this is muscle gained by increased activity but it's just water retention. This will go away as you continue with your exercise routine. But keep in mind that pretty much any time you're sore, you're proably retaiing water too. Upping the water intake on your workout days can help but it mostly take pateince.

So, bottom line, up those calories a bit (for the amount of weight you have to lose, a reasonable goal would be 1 pound per week, reset your goals if you're at 2), eat right, keep exercising, drink plenty of water and the weight will start coming off.

And make it more about health, nutrition and fitness than weight. Usually when you take the focus off that # on the scale and think about the rest of it, the weight just follows naturally without all the stress.

ETA: take measurements and pay attention to how your clothes are fitting. I've had more inches come off me in the last 6+ months than pounds. Either way, you're losing!

You can do this!

Sparrow197

I love everybody for your kind responses... Funny thing is, MyFitnessPal is what set my 1200 calorie daily limit. I just think that deserves a chuckle. I am not anorexic by any means (I don't have the self discipline), and eat normally, I promise. I ate like a madwoman while breast-feeding (thank you, prolactin, for that).
Also, I am not new to exercise, just new to being plus size. I guess I just need to hear that his is normal, and eventually the weight will come off.
And again, thank you all.

jennleitsch97

Having a baby always sends your body into shock. I just had a little one as well, she's 9 months old, and we have been weaned for about 2 months now. And I am still stuck at 150. The reason is that your body is still producing the hormones that cause you to hold onto weight. It is going to take about 6 months before those hormones settle down. Annoying, yes. A reason to give up, NO! Stick with it. And eat a little more. You are in starvation mode, which coupled with those pesky breast feeding hormones, is going to make your body resistant to lose weight. Once your body realizes that you are not starving and not breast feeding, it's going to be a lot easier to lose those pounds.

BrianSharpe

I love everybody for your kind responses... Funny thing is, MyFitnessPal is what set my 1200 calorie daily limit.

Remember, that's 1200 net. It's already factored in your desired rate of loss, when you exercise and don't eat back the calories you create an undesirably large deficit.

Something else that's worth trying is to think of all the positive things in your life, use them as a measure of your worth as a human being not the superficial ( a big house, flashy car, the number on the scale........)

DGK12

I'm at 166 lbs right now, and I can tell you, I know how you feel. We all have days where we just feel totally down. Attitude is the paint brush that colors your world. It all starts with you. ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.
It sucks to not lose, I get that. But if you give up, nothings going to change. If you stop looking forward, you stop moving towards progress. You can do this! It might take you a little longer than you'd like, but you'll do it.
Do you weight train at all? I do a little weight training mixed in with my cardio, and I try not to rely on the scale so much as I focus on the fit of my clothing.
Good luck. You're not alone. We're all on the same journey, just slightly different paths.

Oretexan

Lots of people have already said it, but I will say it again. You aren't eating enough. There is a group on here a wonderful Mfp friend told me about, eat more to weight less. Find it and read away. I wish I knew about this before I yoyo dieted for 20 years! Also, you can change your Mfp goals manually. I increased from the 1200 they recommended to 1440 and now 1772. I wasn't losing at 1200 but I am at 1772.

JeSuisPrest

Lots of people have already said it, but I will say it again. You aren't eating enough. There is a group on here a wonderful Mfp friend told me about, eat more to weight less. Find it and read away. I wish I knew about this before I yoyo dieted for 20 years! Also, you can change your Mfp goals manually. I increased from the 1200 they recommended to 1440 and now 1772. I wasn't losing at 1200 but I am at 1772.

Love it!!!! :flowerforyou:

katiemack86

I am not a fitness coach in anyway, and I'm just starting out on this program after being driven to it by two of my friends and co-workers. One thing you need to figure out is how many calories your body was used to taking in. My app says that my goal is 1200 calories as well, but you need to make sure you are meeting that or getting close to it. If you don't, you body will think it is starving and will drive you eat more. I had this happen to me today and had to make up the calories I'd burned through exercise today. I've taken in 1600 calories, but had burned off 600 - so I had to make it up because my body thinks I'm starving.

Go back and look at what your normal calorie intake was prior to starting your weight loss. My personal calorie intake was 2100 per day; 14700 per week. One pound of fat is equal to 3500 calories. If you want to lose one pound a week, you need to take in 3500 calories less - this means personally I need to make sure that I'm only taking in 11200 a week to lose one pound of fat. Try to figure that out and work from there. Once your body is used to only cutting out the one pound of fat, try to up it another 3500 to lose two.

Don't give up! You've got support here!!!

googsgirl

I am glad you are getting lots of support on this thread. That is awesome and you probably need it right now.

I have had three children and with each one, I never got back to pre preggo weight until they were about 18 months - 2 years old.
Try and enjoy your baby and simply focus on good nutrition and being active each day. Enjoy moving your body and getting outside with your baby so she can smell the fresh air and hear the birds sing. Keep moving your body and making healthy choices with lots of real food. Yes, you need to eat more and make it awesome, real food ( fruit, vegetables, whole grains, salmon, chicken, lean beef, hard boiled eggs, avocado and feta in your salad, nuts, seeds...)

I promise you, the weight will come off.

Most of us are not movie stars. Most of us dont take baby weight off within 2 weeks of giving birth ( usually...I know some do- my sister being one!)

Stay positive and energetic. I found that when I was a new mom, if I forced myself to take a walk each day with the baby in a stroller or sling, no matter what, I always felt better each day. Remember that your mental health ( how you feel about yourself) is more important for you and your sweet baby than anything. You will get back to you soon. Hang in there. I know it is hard and frustrating.