Why is it sooooo hard when you are dating

boobee32

to eat right? EVERYTHING has to revolve around eating, and or drinking, and my gosh, it is so hard for me to make good choices when I am faced with that sort of thing. I do SO well when I am single, and can eat what I need to but then you have to throw a man in the mix, and BAM...everything falls apart.

I am trying so hard to be good especially during the week, but on the weekends, I do like to have a drink, or two, or three, especially if we are out somewhere. How do you find a healthy balance??

I want to be FIT AND in a relationship, not one or the other!!

NotGoddess

Is he into fitness too? Maybe you can suggest more 'active' dates than the typical dinner/show/club routine. Go trail hiking, horse-back riding, or geo-caching. Or an evening stroll in a park. Pack a picnic basket with healthy food. If you find it hard to change how you react in an environment, change the environment you are in.

AeolianHarp

to eat right? EVERYTHING has to revolve around eating, and or drinking, and my gosh, it is so hard for me to make good choices when I am faced with that sort of thing. I do SO well when I am single, and can eat what I need to but then you have to throw a man in the mix, and BAM...everything falls apart.

I am trying so hard to be good especially during the week, but on the weekends, I do like to have a drink, or two, or three, especially if we are out somewhere. How do you find a healthy balance??

I want to be FIT AND in a relationship, not one or the other!!

You don't need to be "good." Eating out and having some burgers and fries isn't unhealthy. It becomes unhealthy when you begin to eat in a specific fashion constantly, ever single day. So if you're going out only once a week then relax. There are ways to combat this.

Let's say my girlfriend wants to go to Red Lobster. Do you think I'm going to go there and order just salad or something? Hell no. They have a nutrition menu. I calculate what I want to eat and fit it into my calories and macros. I also fast until I go out and eat. I'm not starving by then, so it becomes satisfying to plough back almost 1800 calories in one go.

Let's say you go somewhere with no nutrition menu. That's fine. I always do two things:
(1) Order meat - I prefer steak sandwiches or just steak. Sometimes I'll get a burger. This is almost always sub-1000 with tons of protein. Chicken is another option that is a lot less calories and a ton of protein.
(2) Skip fries - Waste of calories. It's almost as much as the burger. I actually prefer a loaded baked potato. I also ask for vegetables on the side, too, but that's because I actually like to eat it. If I hated vegetables, I wouldn't order them. I never order anything I don't like.

As for drinking, here is everything you need to know:
http://www.leangains.com/2010/07/truth-about-alcohol-fat-loss-and-muscle.html

It's a long article but it will liberate you and allow you to drink without feeling guilty. If you don't want to read all the stuff, skip down to "How to lose fat or prevent fat gain when drinking."

AmberJslimsAWAY

because the sex counteracts the bad food?

PeaceLoveVeggies

Tell me about it!!! I've done HORRIBLY every time I go out with my girl lol. It's so bad!

UrbanRunner81

Is he into fitness too? Maybe you can suggest more 'active' dates than the typical dinner/show/club routine. Go trail hiking, horse-back riding, or geo-caching. Or an evening stroll in a park. Pack a picnic basket with healthy food. If you find it hard to change how you react in an environment, change the environment you are in.

^^^ agreed. One dates, sometimes my hubby and I go to the gym together, ride bikes or go running. We do that first then go out for a nice meal.

dedication6

Find lower calorie drinks on the weekends. I drink Malibu Rum and water, it tastes like coconut water. If you don't like that try vodka and water and add a low calorie flavor packet to the water. It will have less calories then other mixers that you would get at the bar.

jackpotclown

because the sex counteracts the bad food?

This^^^

wellbert

Eating on all your dates is a strategy - Because it's hard to say something stupid with your mouth full of chowder.

seebeachrun

because the sex counteracts the bad food?

I like this one but only if it's crazy monkey sex which we all know doesn't work out on many dates.

leannems

I agree with the pre-planning. I find I can eat most anywhere if I pre-plan my day. I usually try to eat low cal breakfast/lunch/snacks so I can splurge some more on dinner. Getting a workout in that day also helps (woohoo exercise calories!) I also think there are some easy ways to make it easier.

One is go easy on the alcohol. I'm not saying don't drink at all, but alcohol calories add up fast (and to be honest, I'd rather eat). I use the one and one method. I pick my low cal drink for the night, typically a flavored vodka soda with lime, or a very low calorie beer (although they taste like water), or wine, and for each one I drink, I order a large water or soda water with lime. This slows me down, and I end up drinking a lot less.

I also agree with the active date thing. We go bowling, skating, dancing, walking on the beach, to outdoor concerts, festivals - anything where I'll be moving a bit. This counteracts some of the overindulgence.

It is hard - I had to make these changes - but it's really better for me. Too many drunken nights with late night burgers is partially what got me here - so it makes sense

tarabear826

I feel you on this... Because the guys I date LOVE food. Lol. As do I... So what I've been trying to do is have that "one meal" or "one cheat day" a week that I can splurge on or maybe just work harder that day. For the most part when I'm dating I explain the situation. It's also a test to see if they support and encourage me or not. I have yet to find one that FULLY supports me. Lol. It's ok for someone to say every once in a while to eat what you want, but sometimes you have the ones that want to sabotage and want you to eat bad all the time. The only thing I can suggest is either work harder on the days you splurge or be more cautious on things you order, but definitely have fun and enjoy. Good luck to you on that.

capabledesire

I'm with you meeting new people and going on those first few dates is hard.I like to drink too. I try to make up for it with a good workout. Seems like the guys would be up for a more active date but with being a single mom isn't always practical to leave her with someone in the middle of the day so I can go on a hike with a new dude.

j4nash

Just say no to temptations. It's so easy to get sucked into drinking and eating and being content when first starting dating.

RosieWest8

LOL. I, as well as you, like to have 1 (or 2 or 3…..) drinks on the weekend every now and then. I do find that it throws a giant wrench in my (usually consistent) weight loss but I deal with it b/c I’m not really willing to give it up! And it’s not every weekend anyway.

You haven’t said whether your sig.other is into healthy food…or exercise or not. Me and an Ex used to go rock climbing together. It was a great way to spend time together, get a good workout that’s fun, and practice ‘teamwork’ and encouraging one another. Plus if neither of you have done it, even better b/c then you get to actually learn something together. LOL…you have to trust the person whose holding you up there on that wall! And we liked going to new restaurants too…so we’d look for healthy options to check out. Like, we went to an all vegan restaurant once (which doesn’t necessarily mean ‘healthy’ but usually is pretty good) just to check it out. We used to jog together too. Also --- just saw that someone suggested Geo-Caching...and that's a great idea too if you guys are adventurous like that. It'll get you hiking and basically makes you feel like you're looking for buried/hidden treasure, LOL.
Find other fun things to do that don’t revolve around a bar or restaurant that doesn’t have good options. Don’t limit yourself though, a date’s a date!

KarenJean91

My boyfriend always wants to go out to breakfast or dinner and that sucks for my calorie counting

UsedToBeHusky

Because the relationship is new... oh wait... you were talking about... food...

Bikini27

I agree with the active dates, they can be fun and can help prevent the strange silences where you just stare at each other.

Also, eat like you would on a normal day: fresh as much as possible, lean meats, etc. The person you date may become your SO, you may as well be yourself and part of yourself is your healthy lifestyle.

As for drinking, I have a drink a night. It's all about planning.

Valtishia

I do not think he has to be a fitness buff too or anything, but he should atleast care about the fact that you are. When I first started dating my husband, he ate what he wanted but he kept food labels for me so I could track my food. He even tried to cook mostly healthy meals when I was eating over. When we started living together, he didn't like the idea of having to make 2 seperate meals so he would just eat what I cook. I do make what I call cheat meals once a week for him though....but its really just something he likes made healthier. Like pizza.. I'll make my own dough, then use no salt added sauce, with low sodium turkey peperoni and loads of mushrooms and cayenne, and have salad with it.

HorrorChix89

I only see my boyfriend one week out of every month. When I'm with him, I turn off MFP. No point in counting or stressing. It'll only ruin the week we have together.

Plan out your meals, go for a walk after dinner, lunch, whatever, and just live your life.

braign

I gained weight as a newlywed, so I probably couldn't give you any useful advice! I do like the posts here that suggest activities together though, my husband and I like running together and you can get good workouts playing around in the pool, even treading water burns calories!

As it's coming up to warmer weather too, there'll be a lot more outdoors things to do together like walking, going to the beach/lakesides and having fun with it!

AmberJslimsAWAY

because the sex counteracts the bad food?

I like this one but only if it's crazy monkey sex which we all know doesn't work out on many dates.

BUT it could! Right?!

GetFitE

I struggle REALLY bad with this as well. Because of job location, I spend most weekends with my boyfriend. He doesn't care about his eating habits NEARLY as much as I do. When we first started dating he was into fitness, but as time has gone on, he doesn't workout nearly as often as he used to. We go out to eat Fridays and Saturdays (our usual date nights; Or any time we get together). He's the kind of guy where we'll go out to dinner and then go to a movie & he'll want popcorn and soda. It's SOOO hard to resist movie theater popcorn--so I tend to overeat on those days. In the year of our relationship-he's managed to gain nearly 15-20lbs while I've had to bust my *kitten* to counteract the minor weight gain. I'm OBSESSED with my weight/looks & I have a MAJOR fear of gaining the 50lbs I've lost.

I've been trying to get he and I to walk to the restaurants we go eat at (most of which are less than a mile from his apartment) and I try to get him to workout with me, but both usually bust & we end up driving & he plans something that takes away the workout time I had mentally set aside. The whole "plan active dates" would be great, but because of our work schedules, we get off so late, it's kind of hard to go on a hike at 8pm & weekends are shot because I work at the hospital 7a-7p. So I just make my days with him my off days, and try to only keep our time together as Friday & Saturday. If we meet during the week, I usually have him come to my place so I can cook dinner (allowing me to stick to my diet).

So...sadly, I have only some solutions for you: on days when you're not with your date/partner/significant other--be strict on your diet & exercise routine, and then (as HARD as it is) try not to stress about the days you are with them & make those your off days. And suggest that he come to your place so you can cook what YOU want/need/like to eat. He'll think it's romantic, you are just trying not to sabotage your hard work! Those have helped me to maintain my weight/size at least.

Best of Luck!