Any dating tips for an old newbie?

600racer

In May I will turn 51 and be single for the first time in 25 years and haven't had a first date in 27. I find myself checking out the left hands of ladies and I'm looking forward to some female company again. One problem I have is that I don't know any single women my age and it's hard for me to tell who is my age anymore. I don't want to be one of those creepy old guys hitting on girls too young but in my minds eye, I'm still young. Any words of wisdom for an old dude that is starting over late in the game?
:blushing:

cmriverside

You're not old. Just chat with women you are attracted to. Don't ask their age. It really shouldn't matter anyway.

scepterian

I've been back dating for a while. Here's my 10 things I've learned through hard lessons so far:

1. Be yourself. You'll drive yourself crazy if you try to "match" those on the dating sites... and they love to tell you why you don't match.
2. Things are more segregated then ever with so many more choices. Hang out in the places you think your best match will be.
3. Don't expect you have to pay for everything. Lots of dates are pay your own way... but do things like open the car door (or expect it to be opened if you're a woman)
4. Exchange phone numbers but find out right away if the person likes texting or not. Seems that 30's and up either love it or hate it... and texters typically would rather text a lot then talk on the phone and visa versa.
5. Do an online background check. It's a couple of dollars and worth it if you are really interested in the person.
6. Look good, smell good, and be good.
7. Religious Preferences... there are so many different types of "spiritual" it's important to find someone similar to you cause the differences here can really freak you out.
8. Depending on your job, do lunch dates. Coffee dates are lame. Lunchtime has a forced start and end. You could always come back to work late or do another date. An evening date is the worse if you find your not interested and have to make up a "I gotta leave" excuse.
9. Have some drinks and loosen up so you both are more open. People seem much more gaurded these days.
10. Let someone know where you're going and who you're going with... just to be safe in case the person is a psycho.

Hope that helps

crisanderson27

All I can say is get out there man. I've been lucky enough to meet a great girl recently......and STILL may end up single here shortly.

Dating...sucks.

tquig

Sorry, can't help with the dating. Looks like you are kind of crossed up in your avatar though. Try dropping your chin down over your inside hand more, it will help you open your hips up so you can shift more weight off the bike! LMAO sry- only track folks will get this!

crisanderson27

I've been back dating for a while. Here's my 10 things I've learned through hard lessons so far:

1. Be yourself. You'll drive yourself crazy if you try to "match" those on the dating sites... and they love to tell you why you don't match.
2. Things are more segregated then ever with so many more choices. Hang out in the places you think your best match will be.
3. Don't expect you have to pay for everything. Lots of dates are pay your own way... but do things like open the car door (or expect it to be opened if you're a woman)
4. Exchange phone numbers but find out right away if the person likes texting or not. Seems that 30's and up either love it or hate it... and texters typically would rather text a lot then talk on the phone and visa versa.
5. Do an online background check. It's a couple of dollars and worth it if you are really interested in the person.
6. Look good, smell good, and be good.
7. Religious Preferences... there are so many different types of "spiritual" it's important to find someone similar to you cause the differences here can really freak you out.
8. Depending on your job, do lunch dates. Coffee dates are lame. Lunchtime has a forced start and end. You could always come back to work late or do another date. An evening date is the worse if you find your not interested and have to make up a "I gotta leave" excuse.
9. Have some drinks and loosen up so you both are more open. People seem much more gaurded these days.
10. Let someone know where you're going and who you're going with... just to be safe in case the person is a psycho.

Hope that helps

Awesome post!! You've got it down...lol.

I might also add...sites like okcupid, plenty of fish, and the like are great sites to meet people...but real life is better. Women on those sites seem to have a checklist ten miles long, starting with which side of the bed you prefer to sleep on...and if you miss even one of those criteria...you're nixxed. There is no such thing as 'friends', or 'meeting and getting to know someone' in most of their eyes...either they find their soul mate in a 200 word profile, or nothing.

Good luck!!

crisanderson27

Sorry, can't help with the dating. Looks like you are kind of crossed up in your avatar though. Try dropping your chin down over your inside hand more, it will help you open your hips up so you can shift more weight off the bike! LMAO sry- only track folks will get this!

Lol good eye...I just took it for a low speed corner under yellow though =p.

Carl01

This will let you know it is the mans door into the dating world.

stormieweather

We're the same age, so here's my advice.

* Don't go looking. Meat markets are not where the 'keepers' are.
* Be active and do things that you enjoy. Make lots of friends doing things you enjoy.
* Be happy in your own company. Be 100% complete without another person. An emotionally healthy person wants another emotionally healthy person, not part of one.
* Look at every person as an individual with value. Find out what it is. Sometimes, that will evolve into more. Go with the flow.
* Know what your absolutes are. What do you absolutely require and what you absolutely will not tolerate. Don't waste time on people with/without those.

And good luck!

La_Amazona

I got divorced last year. I'm 32...

I say don't rush into dating. Learn to be by yourself. When you're okay and not afraid of sitting at home 2,3,4,5 weekends in a row (or out with friends or by yourself), and you realize your own company is not too shabby, then go for it.
Until then, you don't want to date because you're afraid to be alone or because lonliness sucks. (it does) Boredom sucks as well but you learn to cope.

Also, as someone said before... make sure you're healed. I had a rebound relationship with a guy whom I would never date in my right mind. I was lonely and so was he. We were both going through divorces. It was stressful and a mistake. Broken will attract broken. I've memorized that and I fear it. I want to make sure I'm whole so I can attract someone who's whole. I deserve it. Plus, I didn't want to meet a great guy who's perfect for me only to discover I'm not ready to give him what he deserves.

I've been dating now and it's fun. Rejection comes with the territory so make sure you're prepared for it. The first time I was rejected by someone whom I was really interested in, it stung and brought up other emotions from my marriage I hadn't dealt with. So there will be some things that come up without a warning but we learn as we go.

Also you want to be healthy because you want to make sure you don't disregard red flags. I'm terribly aware of red flags (maybe too aware) that I'll go out with a guy once and I'll next him asap if I see something that concerns me. Divorce will teach you a thing or 2 of what you want and don't want ever again.

I'm fine by myself. I'm happy. I have friends and am out a lot but also have nights at home. I even go to places by myself now... :happy: If an awesome man comes my way, then I'll welcome him but I'm fine just as I am.

600racer

Sorry, can't help with the dating. Looks like you are kind of crossed up in your avatar though. Try dropping your chin down over your inside hand more, it will help you open your hips up so you can shift more weight off the bike! LMAO sry- only track folks will get this!

Lol good eye...I just took it for a low speed corner under yellow though =p.

My avatar is me at Barbers Motorsports Park in B'ham, Alabama. I think it is turn 13 which is an akward turn for me. It's a tight decreasing radius with the apex at the top of a hill. Not an easy one to hang off on. Everything there is at the bottom or top of a hill. A lot of downhill breaking and blind curves. But, yeah, I do need to square my shoulders up more. I got another pic of me in turn 4 I think it is and my form is a lot better. Other pics are when I left the track at Little Talladega turn 3. That was not a good day.

7funnygirl7

Just be yourself and be HONEST! Good Luck...you're gonna need it..we women are nuts! :explode: Enjoy :bigsmile:

600racer

Some good advice so far. On riding and dating. lol. I'm definately not looking for a relationship, just ready to get the last 7 years behind me and make some new friends.

hbrittingham

You can't judge the age of a woman by looking at her? That seems so foreign to me, I can tell a man my age (within 5 years either way) in an instant.

Don't look too hard. Relax. You'll find the right woman to date.