Fighting my inner crazy on a tough Friday night.

joolie3

I work full-time, I am a mom of two under 4, and I admit - there are times when I start buckling hardcore with all the pressure. Friday nights get me because I am so tired/stressed from the work week...and Sunday nights get me because I have to go back. It's hard: Friday nights I frequently want a reward or a consolation prize, and that has frequently been in the form of food.

Tonight, not only did I feel like I barely made it through the work week (I am struggling to keep up with my load) but my daughter's easter present, her first bicycle, once taken out of the box was BROKEN.

I wanted to start weeping.

I am not saying I did tonight perfectly. We ordered a pizza - something I don't typically allow myself,and at the least have done a good job of avoiding since I started a few weeks ago. Granted, it was thin-crust, cheese and I didn't eat a ridiculous amount at dinnertime... but the breadstick I declined at dinner I went back for afterwards after the bike debacle when I felt angry and a torrent of other negative emotions. And then another half...

And then sanity came in and I ran upstairs for my gymshoes, grabbed the toddler and jumped on the elliptical machine. I am a big girl, short but heavy and out of shape, and I went pretty much as hard as I could manage for 24 minutes. It wasn't pretty, and I wasn't really prepared, but I did it. And I worked HARD.

I don't know if I would have done that if I weren't logging my food - my suspicion is that I would not have I'm grateful I got through those moments - I don't know how I will fare next time. It helps though, feeling like I am not alone in my crazy. I'm not bragging by any means, I am humbled by how hard it is sometimes to do what needs to be done. I thank the folks who have added me and help me fight for another day.

lorilynne5

good for you! I understand completely about the "inner crazy". You made some tough choices and then followed up with some good ones and learned through it all! Call it a win and have a lovely weekend!

Donnacoach

That is AWESOME!!! Good for you to be able to pull yourself up and work your way out of the funk you had been sucked in to. You are human, so don't beat yourself up to much. We all have our moments of tears and binges. Be proud of the fact that you were able to hop on that elliptical.

msarazine

It is tough, my hats off to you for what your doing. Not all days will be perfect and you will slip from time to time, but don't beat yourself up. I think you did well to focus on exercising, let that be your guide and motivation when you have tough times. It will make you feel better! Hang in there and keep it up! You can do it!!!!!!!!!!!

mjn18

Good for you for fighting through it. I've had a couple rough days this week too and knowing that others are there to support you is always great. Stay strong.

joolie3

Need all the help I can get! Thanks so much for the kind words!!! Hope I can return the favor when someone else needs me.

tarajees

Sounds like you did a great job!!!! I just joined MFP and I'm starting my weight loss journey hopefully for the last time! It's great to talk to others and have support on this journey. Like you I am a mother of two, three if you include my husband. And the weekend is really hard for me as well.

I dont cook on Friday night and we also ususally order pizza (or some other takeout) and it takes A LOT, to pass up. So cheers to you! : )

smorris21

I am having trouble staying motivated! I seem to have no self-control! I have lost almost 10lbs and I feel like I am slipping back into my old ways. I know I need to stop eating, but I keep eating and getting over calories. Does anyone have any advice?