Blonde Jokes

EvonyPrincess
EvonyPrincess Posts: 39
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
Anyone know some good Blonde Jokes? I feel the need to laugh at my new hairstyle.
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Replies

  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    I don't know any blonde jokes that aren't all true...sorry!
  • EvonyPrincess
    EvonyPrincess Posts: 39
    Are you trying to say blondes aren't smart? Cause we are very smart! I was smart enough to find the bottle of dye!
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    I would never say such a thing. I'm blonde, can't you tell?
  • EvonyPrincess
    EvonyPrincess Posts: 39
    Bump
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?







    A know-it-all *****.
  • EvonyPrincess
    EvonyPrincess Posts: 39
    Lol sounds like my friend Lilly. *kisses*
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    Q. What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?





    A. "Is it mine?"
  • EvonyPrincess
    EvonyPrincess Posts: 39
    Hmm that one didnt have much fire behind it
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    I'm trying...
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    Q. What do you call a blonde with half a brain?


    A. Gifted.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    A blonde walks into a bar with a parrot on her shoulder.

    The bartender says, "Hey that's neat, where did you get it?"

    Parrot says "Sweden, there's millions of them"
  • darkknightfan
    darkknightfan Posts: 396 Member
    Q: if a blonde and a brunette fell out of a tree .. whod hit the ground first ?

    A: The Brunette .. the blonde would have to stop and get directions
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    Q: How do you keep a blonde busy all day?



    A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
  • xxTAMxx
    xxTAMxx Posts: 573 Member
    Q.What are the worst six years in a blondes life?

    A: Third Grade.
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?"

    The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You ARE on the other side!"
  • purple_jelly_bean
    purple_jelly_bean Posts: 31 Member
    A body builder takes off his shirt & a blonde says "Whow what a great chest u have !" he says 100 lbs of dynamite Babe ! He takes off his pants & the blonde says "What massive calves u have ! " he replies thats 100 lbs of dynamite babe ! He than removes his underwear & the blonde goes running screaming in fear. He puts his clothes on & chases behind her. He catches her & ask why she ran like that. The blonde replies "I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after i saw how short the fuse was!

    And there's more where that came from lol.
  • theoriginaljayne
    theoriginaljayne Posts: 559 Member
    Oh man, I know tons of these.

    A blonde is speeding down the highway when she's pulled over by a policewoman -- who is also blonde.
    "I need to see your driver's license," says the policewoman. The driver peers into her purse and frowns. "I don't know what it looks like," she says. "It's a rectangle and it has your picture on it," says the policewoman.
    The driver finally pulls out a compact mirror. She looks in it, sees her picture, and hands it to the policewoman. "Is this it?"
    The policewoman takes it, looks at it, and hands it back. "I'm sorry," she says, signaling for the blonde to drive away. "I didn't realize you were a cop."
  • darkknightfan
    darkknightfan Posts: 396 Member
    a blonde gets on a plane ... confidently walks up to first class ...sits down and starts to read a magazine... Not too long afterwards a man comes up and says "Maam excuse me your in my seat" THe blonde looks at him , looks around and says .. "listen im blonde , im beautiful and im sitting right here ALLLL the way to new york".. The man trys to show him his ticket and gets the same response.. The stewdess sees what could turn into a scene come up and trys to reason with her .. only to be met with the same response "listen im blonde , im beautiful and im sitting right here ALLLL the way to new york" . The stewardess NEEDs this woman to move so the flight can get underway so she goes and gets the captain.. Explains the issue to him.. He nods and walks back to first class.. Leans in and whispers something the blondes ear .. She looks up and " Oh REALLY !!!" and gets up and moves to her appointed seat... Both the ticket owner and the stewardess look on with amazement ... When shes out of earshot they ask.."what did you tell her?" he smiles and says


    "I told her first class wasnt going to New York"
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    The blonde was soooo dumb:

    At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here" she put Sagittarius.
  • EvonyPrincess
    EvonyPrincess Posts: 39
    Q: if a blonde and a brunette fell out of a tree .. whod hit the ground first ?

    A: The Brunette .. the blonde would have to stop and get directions
    Lol god I hate brunettes
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 926 Member
    Why did the blond stare at the frozen orange juice?

    because it said "concentrate"
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    A woman walks into the doctors office and says, "Doctor I hurt all over."

    The doctor says, "that's impossible."

    "No really! Just look, when I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts. When I touch my leg, ouch!, it hurts. When I touch my head, ouch!, it hurts. When I touch my chest, ouch!!, it really hurts." she replies.

    The doctor just shakes his head and says, "You're a natural blonde, aren't you?"

    The woman smiles and says, "Why yes I am. How did you know?"

    The doctor replies, "Because your finger is broken."
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,050 Member
    A brunette, a red head and a blonde walk into a bar.
    The bartender is new on the job and gets approached by the brunette.

    "May I have a WW?" said the brunette.

    Bartender replies, "I'm new here and haven't got down all the acronyms yet. What's a WW?"

    "White wine" said the brunette.

    Then the redhead approaches the bartender.

    "RW please." said the redhead

    "Red wine?" replied the bartender. Redhead nods.

    Then the blonde approaches. "15 baby!"

    Bartender with confused look on face says " Sorry have no idea what a 15 is."

    Blonde replies "Silly that's a 7 and 7!"



    A.C.E. Certified Personal & Group FitnessTrainer
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    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • EvonyPrincess
    EvonyPrincess Posts: 39
    Oh man, I know tons of these.

    A blonde is speeding down the highway when she's pulled over by a policewoman -- who is also blonde.
    "I need to see your driver's license," says the policewoman. The driver peers into her purse and frowns. "I don't know what it looks like," she says. "It's a rectangle and it has your picture on it," says the policewoman.
    The driver finally pulls out a compact mirror. She looks in it, sees her picture, and hands it to the policewoman. "Is this it?"
    The policewoman takes it, looks at it, and hands it back. "I'm sorry," she says, signaling for the blonde to drive away. "I didn't realize you were a cop."
    Lmao wow awesome
  • purple_jelly_bean
    purple_jelly_bean Posts: 31 Member
    A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    A blonde walked into a library and said, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
    The librarian said, "Sorry, this is a library."
    So the blonde whispered, "Can I have a burger and fries?
  • sgraham101
    sgraham101 Posts: 2
    A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks to see a loan officer.

    She says she is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

    The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. She has the title, and everything checks out.

    The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

    An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

    Two weeks later, the blonde returns. She repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

    The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction as worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found out that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

    The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to still be there when I return?"

    4 years ago
  • Cupcake1015
    Cupcake1015 Posts: 109 Member
    Q: How did the blonde drown?

    A: There was a scratch-and-sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.
  • asia_hanebach
    asia_hanebach Posts: 275 Member
    A blonde, a brunette and a ginger are trapped on an island. They decide to each try to swim back to main land. The brunette starts swimming, makes it a quarter of the way, realizes she can't do it, and swims back. The ginger starts swimming, only makes it out a little bit when the height of the waves starts to freak her out, she she turns back as well. The blonde decides to give it a try. She swims out half way, decides that she's tired, turns around, and swims back to the island.
  • TrainingWithTonya
    TrainingWithTonya Posts: 1,741 Member
    Two blondes are walking in the woods and come across some tracks. The first blonde says, "I think those are bear tracks." The second blonde says, "No, I think those are deer tracks." The first blonde says, "No, those are definitely bear tracks." A little louder this time, the second blonde says, "No, I'm positive those are deer tracks." They were still arguing when they were hit by the train.
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