When do you break the news to your kids? (Spoiler alert)

SONIA820

I believe in Santa! I'm only his wife!

Any way you flip it, it boils down to the same thing with anything else you chose to do for your kids. In our house, we have all boys, so the probability that they will believe for a long time is probably not good, BUT we have a system. If our 9 year old (yes I said NINE) decides that he knows what's up, then we as his parents have decided to PAY him 10 dollars for every christmas, easter and tooth occasion that he DOESN'T ruin it for his little brother's who are 7 and 3. and it will go on until they all know. I think it's only fair for my three year old that he get to believe for as long as the others have and still do.

SixCatFaerie

I figured it out on my own when I was 4, but I didn't tell them I knew until I was around 10. I'm pretty sure they knew that I knew anyways & so the celebrations were all for fun!

sixisCHANGEDjk

My dad and his sister will still 'swear' to this day that they seen Santa and the sleigh one night. My grandpa made 'em sit out on the back porch because they wouldn't be quiet while he was watching TV and they swear and be 'you know what' that they saw him.

ChelleDT

Um, I finally told him this week, that "I" wasn't going to buy any easter candy this year. (At 18 years old) LOL... He was very supportive of that.

Seriously... I think he was in 2nd Grade. Came home pissed as heck at me. Because some stupid kid decided to ask who believed in Stanta Clause, Easter Bunny & Tooth Fairy.

He said he believed in tooth fairy (Hadn't lost his first tooth yet). & They all laughed at him. He said "Mom, don't you think I'm old enough to know the TRUTH!!???" Sorry, 7 years old & not lost his first tooth yet?> No.

peacefulsong

I stayed up all night on Christmas Eve once when I was about 8 and figured it out then.

This reminds me of a story about my cousins, though. When they were little my aunt and uncle decided they were old enough to handle a dog. They were probably 9 and 7 at the time. They went to a breeder and found the sweetest Golden Retriever puppy, and then arranged for myself and my mother to go pick the puppy up when it was time. We made up a letter from Santa Claus (telling them that Santa thought he should bring the puppy early, reminding them to take good care of him etc), put a big red bow on the puppy's neck and sit him in a little box on their deck, then went in and told the kids we thought we saw Santa's sleigh flying away as we pulled into the driveway and they should run out back to see if they should see him. Where of course they immediately find their new puppy waiting for them.

Fast forward about 4 years...my aunt and the girls were visiting our house and we were chatting and somehow the story of how my mom and I had gone to get Jake and bring him to their house came up. We were all laughing about it and then, in the tiniest voice you can imagine, the youngest girl said "But I thought Santa brought Jake."

Oops. :laugh:

To be fair she'd mostly decided there was no Santa, she was just sort of clinging to it by then.

jaireed

Tell the kiddo that they do exist but they exist in all of us that believe and use our imagination. That's the magic of the holidays. It is important to encourage imagination and creativity in our children. They rarely get the chance these days in school. It may be helpful to excite your child in some imaginary play to help him or her understand the difference between imagination and reality. I am studying to be a teacher and they encourage us to help children develop imagination. Here is an activity from my book: The Creative Classroom:
For instance Say:
"What's this? That's right, it's a coffee can (Reality). Well, I used all the coffee that came in this can. And now, if we use our imaginations and pretend, a friend of mine who lives in the can will come out and talk to us. (Fantasy) Are you ready to meet her?" Then play along with the child using imagination. Remember it is important to close the Fantasy and bring them back to Reality by saying, "It’s time for her to go home now. Close your eyes and count to three and we will send her back into the can and we will be our real selves again. Ready?" (Reality)
This will encourage the child to use their imagination. This way the child knows reality, but can enjoy the joys of creative imagination. Then maybe you could try this activity with Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny so that the child knows that they are real in the imagination! Always close the activity. If the child stays in fantasy mode it can make reality difficult. The easiest thing to say when this happens is, “I came back to reality hopefully you will join me here soon.” You might want to pretend to sprinkle "magic reality dust" or something to help her or him come back to reality.
-Hope this is helpful

Sheila1968

I never had the heartbreaking "realization" that some kids seem to. My parents never made a big deal out of it, either. No elaborate stories, lies, etc. I learned to read by age 3 and always knew it was my mom's handwriting on the stuff from Santa, but we all understood the concept. As the youngest of 4, you would have thought that my older siblings would have "ruined" it for me, but I think it was the way we were raised. We focused more on the religious aspect of the holidays and didn't get all hung up on the secular traditions. They were what they were. We got a dime from the tooth fairy and hunted for Easter eggs, but none of us really "believed" in the sense that a lot of you are describing. They were just nice traditions. I still hide eggs for my hubby to find. It's just fun! I'm always amazed to hear from people that their 10, 11, 12 year old kids were in tears finding out "the truth." Seems odd to me, but to each their own.

catherine4211

When he asks. No need to bring it up until then. My nephew who is 11 did get teased at school because he said he believed in Santa. My kids knew a lot earlier then that. My son caught me being the tooth fairy with his sister. He was 3. Says he totally remembers.

christine24t

I think I was like seven or eight. We were out to dinner near the holidays and I remember just kind of realizing it. I had caught on that it was dad's handwriting on the tags from Santa. My mom asked me to help her with my sister for a couple of more years.

I think let their behavior dictate what you say.

jenbit

I think my kids step-siblings might have already told them theres no santa(they are 8and 6) but we dont talk about it. They love christmas and all the things we do together for it. Plus mommy collects santa's and father Christmas. I know they know there no easter bunny I mean have you walked through the store lately lol. The minute they can read you lose easter and commercials are killer on the holidays.

I would rather they enjoy the idea of Santa and the spirit behind it. You have so little time where they truely believe.

usmcmp

My kids turn 3 and 4 next month, I've always told them the truth. I don't see the point in lying to them about anything.

PapaverSomniferum

My kids figured it out a while ago. However, they haven't broken the news to me that they know. My oldest told her dad she knew what was up, but not to tell me. She told her dad she didn't want to break my heart.

So I make an even BIGGER deal about Santa and the Easter Bunny.

It's cute that our rolls somehow got reversed. The kids get all dramatic about it, too.

"MOM! Did YOU see the easter bunny??? I TOTALLY saw him out back!"

JenAiMarres

never..they will figure it out soon enough....RIGHT?

mizjohnston

I worry about the same thing. My son is 8. My teacher told our whole class in 3rd grade. I was told I should have known already. :sad:

witchywillow

i told my kids wen they started asking questions coz there friends were telling them there wasnt a santa, i have age gaps between my three children, so i could do one child at a time lol.

my youngest 10 year old daughter was more gutted there was no tooth fairy then she was about there not being a santa claus and went on about it for days lol

they were all around the age of 9-10 wen they started asking, my youngest started off by fishing for answers, but i didnt tell her till she asked me outright lol, same for my older 2

mizjohnston

My kids figured it out a while ago. However, they haven't broken the news to me that they know. My oldest told her dad she knew what was up, but not to tell me. She told her dad she didn't want to break my heart.

So I make an even BIGGER deal about Santa and the Easter Bunny.

It's cute that our rolls somehow got reversed. The kids get all dramatic about it, too.

"MOM! Did YOU see the easter bunny??? I TOTALLY saw him out back!"

I love this story. Those are some sweet kids you have.

PapaverSomniferum

My kids figured it out a while ago. However, they haven't broken the news to me that they know. My oldest told her dad she knew what was up, but not to tell me. She told her dad she didn't want to break my heart.

So I make an even BIGGER deal about Santa and the Easter Bunny.

It's cute that our rolls somehow got reversed. The kids get all dramatic about it, too.

"MOM! Did YOU see the easter bunny??? I TOTALLY saw him out back!"

I love this story. Those are some sweet kids you have.

Yeah they're amazing.

My oldest (she's 9) told me last Christmas that Santa was real the same way love is real.

joseph9

(And don't even get me started about Christopher Columbus, and the true story of Thanksgiving (US) and the Pilgrims)

IMHO, the historical stuff is easier, ironically because it's so complex. Any time you're convinced that one side is awesome and the other side is not, there are more facts that can make things more real. So I've always stuck to the facts and let the kids draw their own morals unless they ask me what I think. If they do, I'll say "I think X, but some people think Y, because Z."

Chrystibel

My mom never told us any of it was fake, I figured it all out on my own, did not help that I caught her taking my tooth and putting money under my pillow once, and also fell asleep on the living room floor when I was little while her and my cousin were playing cards, woke up a little while later, they were still playing cards and the Easter basket was already on the table, I figured it was all fake for a long time before I admitted that I knew it, it was more fun letting mom think we believed in it, part of me was probably scared the cool Santa presents and Easter bunny baskets would stop if I told her I knew it was all a sham.

I have a 1 year old and a 3 year old, they'll figure it out on their own eventually too, but why not keep the magic alive for them as long as I can. Believing in magic is part of what makes childhood fun, or at least it was for me.

Mawkish1983

Don't lie from the start, that's my advice.