A job offer
nehushtan
Posts: 566 Member
Welcome. Nice to meet you, please have a seat.
Well, I suppose you will want to know about the position we are offering. First of all you must understand that this is a part-time job. If you have a full-time job, you will need to fit this one into your schedule. However, even though this is not your primary employment, we still expect you to commit to the job, show up daily, and perform all required tasks to completion.
Can you show up for work every day? Can you keep a schedule? One nice aspect of this position is that you will basically be setting your own schedule. You will need to keep to it, though. No slacking off around here! When you’re on the job, we expect dedication – you’ll need to stay on task. And remember, I said every day! That includes weekends and holidays, though you are free to do your other fun things on those days as well.
Now, the position we are offering is fairly straightforward. You will need to perform some basic accounting tasks, keep to a budget, and be able to perform some simple calculations. Do you have any computer experience? Can you log into a web page or make use of a smart phone app? That’s good – you will be able to accomplish a good deal on this job with those skills. Generally, you will be expected to perform these computing and accounting tasks three or so times each day. None of the math is really complicated, and we have calculators that can make all of these recording very easy. Each time you do these tasks, it should take only a few minutes. Some people find this aspect of the job tedious but I want to warn you that this is probably the most important aspect of the job. We expect your accounting to be prompt, accurate, and within budget – otherwise your pay will be docked and your career with us will probably be cut short.
Here: take this book. It has most of the data you will need to do your job. This information is also available in our web database. You are not required to memorize any of this, but over time you probably get to know most of it by rote. How good are you at learning some new things, especially new habits? We do offer on-the-job training, and it is self-paced. You can ask any questions you want at any time. You’ll find that most of your co-workers will be very helpful. If you are open to learning, you will be very productive at this job and your remuneration will be increased accordingly.
This position sometimes also entails some manual labor. While this is not strictly necessary it can help accomplish your career goals more rapidly. Can you lift some heavy objects? Can you walk, or sometimes even run? Can you bend your knees and stand up repeatedly? You may have trouble doing some of these physical tasks right away but over time we expect you to do more of them, and more frequently.
Now, do you have any questions? Ah, yes, of course… basically you are paid every week or so, and the amount of your pay will depend on your consistency to accomplishing the required tasks. If you consistently keep account and stay within your budget, you will be paid more. We recommend that you come to the office once every week for your paycheck. Actually we need to warn you that some weeks you will not be paid at all, even though you have done everything that has been required. This is because there are sometimes extenuating circumstances that prevent payment (and we will work with you to figure out how to resolve any persistent issues like this). However, over time we guarantee that you will be paid in full for all your work. Nevertheless, if you are not accounting consistently and are frequently over your budget you will not receive much pay at all. In fact we may need to ask you to pay back some of what you have been paid. Sorry, but that’s our rule.
What’s that you asked about? Benefits? I’m glad you mentioned it! We offer an extensive suite of health benefits, actually rated top in the industry. (We have a “cafeteria style†selection). Here – please look over this brochure when you have the time. It shows many employees from different walks of life that have received benefit from our health plan. It follows the same model as your pay – your consistency to the work determines the level of health benefits you are entitled to. Please read about the Bronze, Silver, and Gold levels in the brochure. Most of the employees at the higher levels are willing to share their experiences with you. We recommend getting a physical the first day on the job. Also, get some photos of yourself – we’d like to add your picture to the brochure.
Any other questions? Well, vacation days are a bit tricky. Of course this is a part time position, but as I said you should come to work and come in under budget every day. We operate like most companies, though – you start off with none or little allowed vacation, and vacation days accrue as you reach higher levels of seniority. We have a lot of employees who find the work very engaging and rarely if ever take vacations. This may seem strange to you at first, but over time you may find yourself feeling the same way. We have a sick leave policy also, but if you abuse it you will not be able to collect your pay or benefits.
Oh, one more thing: you’ll need to supply your own clothes for the job. You’ll probably find that this job tends to wear out your clothes rather quickly… in fact our most successful employees generally need to get a new wardrobe every few months.
Anything else? No? Well, let me say that I like how you’re responded in this interview. I think you have what it takes to be successful in this career. You seem like a dedicated worker who will get the job done. I would like to offer you this job right now.
When can you start? The sooner the better!
Well, I suppose you will want to know about the position we are offering. First of all you must understand that this is a part-time job. If you have a full-time job, you will need to fit this one into your schedule. However, even though this is not your primary employment, we still expect you to commit to the job, show up daily, and perform all required tasks to completion.
Can you show up for work every day? Can you keep a schedule? One nice aspect of this position is that you will basically be setting your own schedule. You will need to keep to it, though. No slacking off around here! When you’re on the job, we expect dedication – you’ll need to stay on task. And remember, I said every day! That includes weekends and holidays, though you are free to do your other fun things on those days as well.
Now, the position we are offering is fairly straightforward. You will need to perform some basic accounting tasks, keep to a budget, and be able to perform some simple calculations. Do you have any computer experience? Can you log into a web page or make use of a smart phone app? That’s good – you will be able to accomplish a good deal on this job with those skills. Generally, you will be expected to perform these computing and accounting tasks three or so times each day. None of the math is really complicated, and we have calculators that can make all of these recording very easy. Each time you do these tasks, it should take only a few minutes. Some people find this aspect of the job tedious but I want to warn you that this is probably the most important aspect of the job. We expect your accounting to be prompt, accurate, and within budget – otherwise your pay will be docked and your career with us will probably be cut short.
Here: take this book. It has most of the data you will need to do your job. This information is also available in our web database. You are not required to memorize any of this, but over time you probably get to know most of it by rote. How good are you at learning some new things, especially new habits? We do offer on-the-job training, and it is self-paced. You can ask any questions you want at any time. You’ll find that most of your co-workers will be very helpful. If you are open to learning, you will be very productive at this job and your remuneration will be increased accordingly.
This position sometimes also entails some manual labor. While this is not strictly necessary it can help accomplish your career goals more rapidly. Can you lift some heavy objects? Can you walk, or sometimes even run? Can you bend your knees and stand up repeatedly? You may have trouble doing some of these physical tasks right away but over time we expect you to do more of them, and more frequently.
Now, do you have any questions? Ah, yes, of course… basically you are paid every week or so, and the amount of your pay will depend on your consistency to accomplishing the required tasks. If you consistently keep account and stay within your budget, you will be paid more. We recommend that you come to the office once every week for your paycheck. Actually we need to warn you that some weeks you will not be paid at all, even though you have done everything that has been required. This is because there are sometimes extenuating circumstances that prevent payment (and we will work with you to figure out how to resolve any persistent issues like this). However, over time we guarantee that you will be paid in full for all your work. Nevertheless, if you are not accounting consistently and are frequently over your budget you will not receive much pay at all. In fact we may need to ask you to pay back some of what you have been paid. Sorry, but that’s our rule.
What’s that you asked about? Benefits? I’m glad you mentioned it! We offer an extensive suite of health benefits, actually rated top in the industry. (We have a “cafeteria style†selection). Here – please look over this brochure when you have the time. It shows many employees from different walks of life that have received benefit from our health plan. It follows the same model as your pay – your consistency to the work determines the level of health benefits you are entitled to. Please read about the Bronze, Silver, and Gold levels in the brochure. Most of the employees at the higher levels are willing to share their experiences with you. We recommend getting a physical the first day on the job. Also, get some photos of yourself – we’d like to add your picture to the brochure.
Any other questions? Well, vacation days are a bit tricky. Of course this is a part time position, but as I said you should come to work and come in under budget every day. We operate like most companies, though – you start off with none or little allowed vacation, and vacation days accrue as you reach higher levels of seniority. We have a lot of employees who find the work very engaging and rarely if ever take vacations. This may seem strange to you at first, but over time you may find yourself feeling the same way. We have a sick leave policy also, but if you abuse it you will not be able to collect your pay or benefits.
Oh, one more thing: you’ll need to supply your own clothes for the job. You’ll probably find that this job tends to wear out your clothes rather quickly… in fact our most successful employees generally need to get a new wardrobe every few months.
Anything else? No? Well, let me say that I like how you’re responded in this interview. I think you have what it takes to be successful in this career. You seem like a dedicated worker who will get the job done. I would like to offer you this job right now.
When can you start? The sooner the better!
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Replies
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Weight loss and fitness feel like a part time job to me. I've over come a lot and still have a lot to go. it requires such attention to detail and dedication ... worse yet one has to be 150% self-motivated. I've never been good with numbers but I'm learning to make them work FOR me. Change takes time but I've formed new and better habits that are making my new life more manageable. Any type of "exercise" has always been a chore but I look forward to it now
Reading is a hobby of mine but finding what to read and the time to do it is always a challenge! Everyone likes vacation but the more I work the more I get "paid". Every pound I lose is more of a celebration and feels more "earned" than my weekly paycheque. I'm an a-typical woman in that I HATE shopping! I do however love that my wardrobe will hang off me with such frumpiness that I HAVE to replace it at regular intervals :P I am really starting to realize that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are just temptors of chocolate and sugar! In closing... I'd apply for this position but I feel I'm past entry level and up for a bigger challenge
Anj
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I'd apply for this position but I feel I'm past entry level and up for a bigger challenge
I think you're due for a promotion, for sure!0 -
I think this is great.
I have been saying that losing weight is like a part time job - weird how doing LESS takes so much more time.
Anyway, I hope this "bump" gets more people to see this.
Thanks and keep up the good "work".0 -
You sure this is part time it feels like a full time for me. Someday I hope it is part time.0
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This is awesome! I wish I could get some of my friends to read it and to realize that this is a part time job with amazing "goal" packages and outstanding benefits!
Thanks so much for sharing!0 -
I love this, it is sad to think that thinking this way would make this eaiser but i think that it would.0
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I applied and have been promoted.
Awesome job description.0 -
I applied and have been promoted.
You and Anj should be Vice Presidents I'm sure.
I can only consider myself a mid-level manager, which is why I'm out doing interviews!0 -
Awesome job description and oh so true !!!! Thank you so much for publishing this !!!0
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I love this!!0
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Love this!0
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This is awesome! I wish I could get some of my friends to read it and to realize that this is a part time job with amazing "goal" packages and outstanding benefits!
Tell your friends we have plenty of openings and we're hiring today. They could receive their first paycheck in one week!0 -
for me this is more of a full time job that I am still try to figure out. Some days I excel but most I stink.
very well written by the way.0 -
Very nicely put and a great way to look at things!0
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for me this is more of a full time job that I am still try to figure out.
I think with respect to the tasks I'm assigned, it is a part-time job.... but it does seem to occupy my mind much more than that, so it FEELS much more like full-time than it is in practice.0 -
I love this!!! And it's so true that we need to treat getting healthy like a part time job. Because if we don't make ourselves and helth a priority then we will let everyting else in our life overshadow it. Thanks for the reminder.
I definitely want an application and will continue learning how to get "paid" the most!!0 -
bump0
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Love this, I've been saying for a while now that this is my highest paying and most important job ever, and it has awesome benefits!0
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I love this, it is sad to think that thinking this way would make this eaiser but i think that it would.
Perhaps it is sad, the way being "disabled" is sad.
Think of a man in a wheelchair -- it's sad to think that *each day* he has to get up, go to the restroom, get dressed, prepare his food, etc.... All of those activities that most of us take for granted are for him a daily struggle requiring planning, special equipment, etc.
It's the same way for me. After 20 years of obesity, I think of myself as "naturally" obese. Though I am glad to be successful and glad to be within a healthy weight range, I have to be realistic about the future -- there will not be a time I can be "normal" (ie, eat whatever, whenever, not exercise, etc).
This daily part-time job is my new normal -- so I can outrun the obesity beast.0 -
Funny, I talked to my mom last night on my way home from work. She asked if I was doing my "usual" (meaning working out as soon as I get home). I said yes and I actually said that I felt like it was my second job! This job description confirms that I was right!! It is!0
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Love this, I've been saying for a while now that this is my highest paying and most important job ever, and it has awesome benefits!
Rachel, you are absolutely at the Gold level of benefits! Maybe we need to add a Platinum level for you !?!0
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