No Support for thin, but not fit....

sheryllamb72

You're right....people dont want to support you because you're tiny already, and yes, most people on here do have a much harder journey than you have.

Are you sure you should be on here?? Losing weight and getting in shape are two different things. You're obviously eating correctly if you're as thin as you are, so you just need to exercise to get that muscle tone back in your stomach after having children. That's a very difficult thing to do because your stomach muscle's stretch and seperate down the middle of your stomach when you are pregnant.

Maybe you should concentrate on exercise and asking for support for that instead of asking people for support for losing weight.

good luck.

WOW! :noway:

My Fitness Pal is for anyone looking for a healthy lifestyle...... It shouldn't matter if someone is thin, thick, muscular or flabby..... everyone is here for their own journey and should receive support.

A questin was raised.....I gave my opinion!! Jeeez, these message boards are crazy!!! Everyone has their own opinions, this is mine!!!.....move on!

nikkijoshua

I know what you mean and your problem is not just limited to someone who's thin and looking to drop a few pounds and be more fit. After I lost 40 lbs, no one in my family said a word for a long time. I was stunned. We would have family gatherings for the holiday and I would be waiting on someone to notice and compliment me, but no one said anyting. After about a year of maintaining that weight loss, all of a sudden they seemed to notice. No real compliments, but at least they noticed and started to ask what I had done to lose the weight. I really think the problem was the fact that we (me and my 3 sisters) had all gained weight and had become overweight after having babies, but now I was the only one losing weight. It was just envy. I also had a friend who lost 80 lbs and was the one who inspired me to get back into fitness resulting in the 40 lb weight loss. I was so supportive of her, but when I would talk to her about the kind of workouts I enjoyed and other fitness related topics, she would always find a way to make me feel as if whatever she was doing and whatever she liked was far superior to what I was doing and what I liked. It got so bad that now I don't even talk to her about fitness.

I think you, first and foremost, have to be your own support system. Secondly, find a group of people who have similar goals and are willing to be encouraging and supportive. I have a great group of MFP friends. Most are trying to lose a small amount of weight and be more fit and some are looking to lose alot of weight, but we all support one another. I find it odd that I get more support from total strangers here on MFP than I do from family and friends that I've known for years.

MoooveOverFluffy

You're a petite with a small frame. At 124 lbs and already thin, LOSING WEIGHT really has nothing to do with BEING FIT. So, instead of announcing that you've lost 5 lbs., wait till you're all buff and whip out your 6 pack. Try increasing your calories and lifting some heavy weights. That's about the best thing you can do for your physique since you don't have much weight to lose. Check out some articles on body recomp, and don't concentrate so much (or look for a pat on the back) about losing pounds. And find others in same situation as you here on MFP and friend them up.

michellematteson

I confess, I had a little bit of this going on myself. I see someone who starts out at 120 pounds trying to get down to 110 and the little bad part of me speaks up and says "Bah, they don't need to lose weight. It's all in their heads." Doubly so if they post something like "HELP! I am trying to lose 10 pounds and I have MFP set to lose 2 pounds a week, and I only eat 1,200 calories a day, and it's been a week and I only lost a half pound and I don't know why this is not working!!!1!" I have been trying to remember that it's not only the number on the scale, but fitness that matters. What is the expression everyone keeps using? "Thin people look good in clothes, fit people look good naked."

I think this is not only about losing weight but also getting healthy for the majority of the people on here, or at least the ones that have been doing it for years. Some people start out at a low weight but still have a problem area. Some are like me and have a lot of problem area (or areas as it may be). Maybe try using non-scale goals instead? "I dropped a dress size!" "I can run a mile!" "I can see my toes in the first time in years, and I realized I have 11 of them!" Stuff like that is still awesome and doesn't sound like you being snobbish about weight.

flong1975

Congrats on the 5 pound loss! Keep your chin up and ignore all the haters - they are just jealous! I used to get upset when family or friends would comment about my diet or weight loss in a negative way. There I was TRYING to improve myself and people were knocking me down. My husband would always respond to my *****ing like this, " WHY do you care what they think? I don't know why you talk to people about it because it's not their buisness anyway." He's right. This time around when people ask me if I am on a diet, I tell them it's not a diet but a lifestyle change. I want to be healthy. If they tell me I do not need to lose weight, I tell them that's their opinion and that is not really my goal. However, if weight loss happens, GREAT! If not, then I won't beat myself up over it. You know what? It worked! People seam to be more supporive of this new lifestyle. I am not depriving myself of things which helps too with losing the sterotype of this being a diet. It calorie counting not food dodging....

If it's support you need, you have it here!

Doomfrog

Phst. Hate on haters. I would master the art of the simple "no thank you," when people offer you Twinkies and Hohos and other crap you don't want to eat. And then when they inveitably project their need to not feel guilty for stuffing their faces with Twinkies and Hohos and keep saying, "Why? But why? Why? Why don't you want Twinkies and Hohos?" You'll be forced to say, "Well, because I'm watching my health and weight and have lost 5 pounds and don't want to derail myself. And then when they roll their eyes and sigh and generally act like A**holes, you can say, "Well, you should have just let me stop at no thank you since it's really none of your beeswax."

People need to go to finishing school. I swear.

flong1975

Congrats on the 5 pound loss! Keep your chin up and ignore all the haters - they are just jealous! I used to get upset when family or friends would comment about my diet or weight loss in a negative way. There I was TRYING to improve myself and people were knocking me down. My husband would always respond to my *****ing like this, " WHY do you care what they think? I don't know why you talk to people about it because it's not their buisness anyway." He's right. This time around when people ask me if I am on a diet, I tell them it's not a diet but a lifestyle change. I want to be healthy. If they tell me I do not need to lose weight, I tell them that's their opinion and that is not really my goal. However, if weight loss happens, GREAT! If not, then I won't beat myself up over it. You know what? It worked! People seam to be more supporive of this new lifestyle. I am not depriving myself of things which helps too with losing the sterotype of this being a diet. It calorie counting not food dodging....

If it's support you need, you have it here!

one more thing I tell people - if you are 200 lbs trying to lose 50 pounds or 125 trying to lose 5, when people say things to me like, " You don't need to lose wight. I only wish I looked like you." I tell them - IT'S ALL RELATIVE. and leave it at that....

k8lyn_235

i'm in a similar position. everyone around me basically rolls their eyes when i say no to a piece of pizza or cake or whatever because i'm trying to eat healthy. they just say, you don't need to lose any weight.. you weigh less than one of my legs, blah blah. just let those comments roll off your back.. there are a lot of people here on MFP who are in the same boat and who are very supportive! i think we should all commend each other for trying to get healthier - no matter how much weight is on the line to lose.

wingsandgills

OP, I think you need to have a serious conversation with some of your family/friends about respect. Just because you're thin does not mean you're healthy or fit, and everyone likes to make a point of that. My dad, who is overweight, used to tell that to chubby little kid me all the time. ;P

So your family/friends should be able to see that just being thinner doesn't mean you could continue to improve your diet and activity levels in various ways. They should be supportive. If they were worried that you were overdoing it, they would say something rather than ignore you or roll their eyes.

I think there is probably more going on here and I don't know the whole situation, but I definitely suggest having an open dialogue about respect and support. Friends respect each other even if they don't agree with each other. You deserve better than what they're giving you.

987Runner

I'm kind of in the same boat. I don't tell anyone I'm "dieting" I simply tell them I'm training for a half marathon and I want to save my calories for more food because donuts take up so much of my calorie budget. Or I need the right kind of calories for my run tonight. But man, that sure looks good!

Kebby83

I've cried when someone tells me they lost weight before. Because they were so much smaller than me, and I think I was sat there eating an apple while they were digging into a cheeseburger. It broke my heart to know how I have let myself get this way. I didn't congratulate them - I was sarcastic. Sorry, it's just the way I get !

Telling people bigger than you that you are trying to lose weight is a stab in the stomach whether it should be or shouldn't be. Sometimes it's inconsiderate too. You need to look for the right people to get congratulations from.

[edit to clarify - telling people face to face that have nothing to do with your weight loss. On here, or if someone asks and makes them self a part of it is different]