Food rules - too strict?!

xNJAx

Hi everyone

I'm new! Just started using MFP a couple of weeks ago and it seems to have highlighted some possible issues I have in controlling my food. I have always had 'food rules' which my husband thinks are too strict - he thinks I have an eating disorder but I'm a perfectly normal, healthy weight (if anything a bit too fat!).


These are my food rules:

1) No food after 7pm
2) As little as possible wheat / gluten / dairy / potato / avocado / animal protein (because of intolerances)
3) No more than 100g of any one food at a time
4) Preferably no more than 400g of food in general in one go
5) Generally no more than 1200 calories per day
(although I'm sometimes well under that and occasionally way over it so it probably balances out)
6) Preferably as few 'bad' carbs as possible
7) Avoid processed/un-natural sugar as much as possible


Do you think that's too strict?! I don't think it's that many rules or particularly hard to stick to.

I'm 29, 5'6" and 10st 2lbs (UK clothes size 10-12) so I'm not exactly a tiny slip of a woman, just an average, ordinary one with a few wobbly bits!

I do think I'm a bit of a control freak because I get worried if I don't know exactly how many calories I'm eating and so try to avoid situations where I won't be able to accurately update my MFP diary. I also exercise first thing in the morning, last thing at night and all throughout the day (e.g. when I go to the toilet I'll do a few squats or leg raises etc), but I don't think that means I have an ED! I do have days when I don't eat much and days when I have a huge blow-out (lowest net calorie intake on MFP so far is -37 and highest is 2755) but isn't that normal for a woman?!

Any thoughts you have would be much appreciated. My Dr has referred me to a nutritionist who I'm seeing for the first time on Monday next week, but I'm curious about what other ordinary people think about this.

Thank you.

dls06

Sounds like a plan.:drinker:

Acg67

Hi everyone

I'm new! Just started using MFP a couple of weeks ago and it seems to have highlighted some possible issues I have in controlling my food. I have always had 'food rules' which my husband thinks are too strict - he thinks I have an eating disorder but I'm a perfectly normal, healthy weight (if anything a bit too fat!).


These are my food rules:

1) No food after 7pm
2) As little as possible wheat / gluten / dairy / potato / avocado / animal protein (because of intolerances)
3) No more than 100g of any one food at a time
4) Preferably no more than 400g of food in general in one go
5) Generally no more than 1200 calories per day
(although I'm sometimes well under that and occasionally way over it so it probably balances out)
6) Preferably as few carbs as possible
7) Avoid sugar as much as possible


Do you think that's too strict?! I don't think it's that many rules or particularly hard to stick to.

I'm 29, 5'6" and 10st 2lbs (UK clothes size 10-12) so I'm not exactly a tiny slip of a woman, just an average, ordinary one with a few wobbly bits!

I do think I'm a bit of a control freak because I get worried if I don't know exactly how many calories I'm eating and so try to avoid situations where I won't be able to accurately update my MFP diary. I also exercise first thing in the morning, last thing at night and all throughout the day (e.g. when I go to the toilet I'll do a few squats or leg raises etc), but I don't think that means I have an ED! I do have days when I don't eat much and days when I have a huge blow-out (lowest net calorie intake on MFP so far is -37 and highest is 2755) but isn't that normal for a woman?!

Any thoughts you have would be much appreciated. My Dr has referred me to a nutritionist who I'm seeing for the first time on Monday next week, but I'm curious about what other ordinary people think about this.

Thank you.

Sounds overly strict, generally the more restrictive the diet the worse adherence is.

frankiesats

1) No food after 7pm - Why? I know some people live by the 'don't eat after a certain time' rule but calories are calories. What is the difference between 100 calories at 7am and 100 calories at 7pm? Nothing. If you're hungry and you feel you need to eat something - eat!
2) As little as possible wheat / gluten / dairy / potato / avocado / animal protein (because of intolerances) - If this is because of intolerance then fine, but you should have all of the above in your diet unless a doctor has recommended otherwise/youre vegetarian.
3) No more than 100g of any one food at a time - This I think should really vary? 100g of popcorn is an awful lot but 100g of broccoli isn't a huge amount... Why are you limiting? If you have to weigh and measure every portion you may become mildly obsessed (i've been there and still am struggling!)
4) Preferably no more than 400g of food in general in one go - again, why?? Focus on the content and quality of the food? Is the meal processed and full of saturated fat? Then fine, don't eat loads of it. Is the meal clean, balanced and full of good fats/carbs? Then eat it!!
5) Generally no more than 1200 calories per day - 1200 is particularly low and you may find you need to up this over time, depending on how often you exercise and how much you really are moving during the day!
6) Preferably as few carbs as possible - Carbs are a NECESSARY part of your diet. Try and forget this as a temporary diet and start to live this as a lifestyle. You can't go forever without eating carbs and nearly all fruits and veg have carbs in them. Carbs are good for you - like EVERYTHING including fat and sugar, in moderation. You must eat a balanced diet. Try brown rice, brown pasta, wholemeal bread - stick to things that aren't processed! Good carbs in good balance and the body will come with it
7) Avoid sugar as much as possible - natural sugars from fruit etc. are great, processed sugars not so much!

The main thing is that all the time you view this as a 'diet' you are trapping yourself. You'll hit your target weight be happy with your body then when you start eating 'normally' you'll creep back up. You have to make changes to your lifestyle. You aren't over weight and I expect you look gorgeous so do this slowly and you will notice a major change not only in your body but in your health. Walking more, eating more fruits and vegetables, eating fats and carbs in moderation - thats what your body needs

Feel free to add me i'm happy to try help xx

ElizabethRoad

I don't see any point to most of your rules. In general I don't think your rules are harmful in themselves, but it strikes me as (possibly) a product of disordered thinking. If your husband thinks you have an eating disorder that is a red flag to me. You might want to take a hard look at your state of mind and emotional health. What would happen if you threw all the rules out the window and ate normally for a day, or a week, or a month? Would that even be a possibility for you?

katielauren2001

I think the rules are too strict, and as soon as you waver slightly (which happens with most strict diets) you will pile on the pounds. Allow yourself a small treat a day - you only have one life.

JesterMFP

To me, your rules seem fairly strict and weirdly arbitrary. Why only 100g of any one food or 400g in total? Why no more than 1200 calories? Are you actually trying to lose weight or maintain? Even if you're trying to lose, at your weight and height you should be eating quite a bit more than 1200. Do you know what your BMR is? The odd day over or under shouldn't be a problem, but netting negative calories is not good for you. Your body needs fuel to work properly!

I'm not surprised your husband is worried, to be honest. I have no idea if you have an eating disorder, but it is possible to have an ED while still being a healthy weight. It's so easy to get obsessed with food, eating and weight, and people often worry too much about the numbers - whether it's the number of calories, or what the scale says. That can be a worry in itself, but you seem to have just picked numbers that don't seem to be based on what your body actually needs.

I think seeing a nutritionist is a great idea, and maybe spend some time trying to work out why you need all these rules.

You might want to take a hard look at your state of mind and emotional health. What would happen if you threw all the rules out the window and ate normally for a day, or a week, or a month? Would that even be a possibility for you?

^ This is a very good point. Could you drop your rules for a while and maybe eat normally for a few weeks? (Don't pay attention to weighing or measuring or counting calories etc) What would happen? Would you feel out of control or anxious? If so, then I think there's definitely a problem.

susannamarie

Not only do they seem fairly strict, they also seem very arbitrary.

I would be worried as well if you were part of my family -- it would seem slightly obsessive.

xNJAx

Thanks for your input everyone - I really appreciate it.

Maybe I *am* too strict then?! This is how I've eaten for probably about the last 10 years (but only found this app to track my diet a couple of weeks ago) so it seems perfectly normal to me. I struggle to get the right balance of protein etc because of the food intolerances (yep - diagnosed by a Dr) and I probably wouldn't choose a completely meat-free diet otherwise because I love meat!

To answer some of the questions...

I don't eat after 7pm just because I don't like the feeling of being full at bedtime and I feel better if the last thing I've done with my day is exercise rather than eat.

I don't really eat processed foods much - I prefer to cook everything from scratch so I know what's in there and feel like a good wife! Haha.

I do eat carbs and sugar - I should have said few 'bad' carbs and 'processed' sugar so I've edited my original post to say that - thank you! I just try not to have too many of the bad ones, except at the weekend when I give myself a bit of a break.

I've never really thought about what I'd do if I threw all the rules out. To be honest, I've sat here questioning myself for the last 10 minutes and I don't think I could do it without panicking - I sometimes get sweaty palms just at the thought of eating something cooked by someone else in case there are more fat/sugar/calories or whatever in there than if I'd made it myself. The thought of upping the calorie intake terrifies me the most incase I put on weight, which would be my idea of a complete nightmare!

Although I'm not overweight according to my BMI I don't really trust that because I definitely look and feel overweight. Perhaps not huge if my dress size is anything to go by, but bigger than my ideal (mind you, that would probably change if I actually reached it. Never satisfied! Haha).

I'm a bit nervous about the nutritionist (kinda feel like some control might be taken away from me or something I think) but if you all agree with my hubby then perhaps he has a point - I guess I'll go with an open-mind and try my best to stick to whatever new rules they give me!

Thanks again.

ElizabethRoad

I'm glad that you're open-minded about it and don't feel like you're being attacked here. It's not the behaviors themselves that I find troubling... if you don't like to eat in the evening that's fine, but I'm not sure why it has to be a rule rather than just your preference. What concerns me is the fact that you do have so many rules and seem to fear losing your precise control. Of course it's hard to tell from an internet post, but that's my impression. I hope that things work out for you!

melsinct

I'm glad that you're open-minded about it and don't feel like you're being attacked here. It's not the behaviors themselves that I find troubling... if you don't like to eat in the evening that's fine, but I'm not sure why it has to be a rule rather than just your preference. What concerns me is the fact that you do have so many rules and seem to fear losing your precise control. Of course it's hard to tell from an internet post, but that's my impression. I hope that things work out for you!

I agree. I am also troubled by this statement:

To be honest, I've sat here questioning myself for the last 10 minutes and I don't think I could do it without panicking - I sometimes get sweaty palms just at the thought of eating something cooked by someone else in case there are more fat/sugar/calories or whatever in there than if I'd made it myself.

That is not normal behavior. I think it would help to talk to someone about it.

JesterMFP

I think it's great that you are going to the nutritionist with that attitude. I wouldn't say all your rules are "crazy" - obviously it makes sense not to eat things you are intolerant to, and to be honest, I don't like to go to bed too soon after eating either. I think the bigger problem is that the rules are so hard and fast. Ok, you don't like to go to bed full, but why does it have to be "nothing after 7pm"? Seems fine to aim to have your evening meal before about 7, but if it gets delayed, or you get hungry later and want a snack, it shouldn't be the end of the world.

As far as your weight goes, given that you are a healthy weight, why don't you think about forgetting about the scale-number for a bit and maybe focussing on body composition? By doing some strength training you could reduce your body fat a bit (get rid of the "wobbly" bits), even if you stay the same weight.

Ultimately, I think it would really help you to think about the emotional reasons you have the rules, and focus more on being happier with yourself all round, whether you reach a certain weight or not, and whether you abide by the rules or not. Good luck!

alli_baba

I am also troubled by this statement:

To be honest, I've sat here questioning myself for the last 10 minutes and I don't think I could do it without panicking - I sometimes get sweaty palms just at the thought of eating something cooked by someone else in case there are more fat/sugar/calories or whatever in there than if I'd made it myself.

That is not normal behavior. I think it would help to talk to someone about it.

I agree with this.

I also agree with the advice to see a nutritionist. I'm a little taller than you (5'7"), a little lighter than you (125 lbs), and it sounds like way less active (I work out maybe 3-4 times a week for a little less than an hour each time). I am eating about 2000 - 2200 calories daily to maintain my weight.

I think you'll find that you can eat much more food (and not have to worry about the calories in everything you eat) and probably lose weight at the same time. See a nutritionist -- he/she will help set you on the right path!

Best wishes!

xNJAx

Thank you all for being so nice and helpful!

I've been doing a lot of thinking tonight and I think I may have been burying my head in the sand a bit. There are actually lots of things I do that probably aren't normal, such as eating out of a children's party bowl instead of a plate and using the smallest spoon I can find. I also realised I hate for people to see me eat and I hate to see or hear other people eating too, so much so that if someone starts eating when I'm not I leave the room until they're finished. I inspect myself in the mirror every morning and night plus any other time I get the opportunity without anyone seeing me and then do some exercise to try and fix the bits I don't like. Plus people regularly ask me how I 'stay so thin' and it annoys me because I think they're being polite and I see a fat person in the mirror.

I also realised that even when I was a size 8 I thought I was fat but now when I see photos of me then I think I look slim.

I've done some ED questionnaires online (about 12 different ones actually) and all of them say that based on my answers there's a very high likelihood that I have anorexia and should see a Dr. Now, I don't for one minute think I'm anorexic, but I'm starting to think I possibly am too strict about food and clothes as well. I have a love/hate relationship with both.

I still don't believe I have a big problem and now I'm worried that if I do talk about this with my Dr he'll not take me seriously because I'm heavy enough to be at the top end of the healthy BMI range and I'll feel like an idiot. I'm going to try and talk to the nutritionist next week though and just see how it goes. I've made a step in the right direction anyway - I tried to eat the full 1200 calories today. It didn't work and I still only managed a net intake of 964 but I did try AND I ate something at 9pm. Ok, it was only a tablespoon of coleslaw, but that's a pretty big deal to me!

Sorry this is long - I just kind of feel like I've had an epiphany or something and I'm really grateful for your honest feedback. Being defensive wouldn't help anyone and I knew when I asked the question that I had to be prepared for honest answers that I might not like or agree with, but it's been helpful.

Jezebel_Barbie

I'm 29, 5'6" and 10st 2lbs (UK clothes size 10-12) so I'm not exactly a tiny slip of a woman, just an average, ordinary one with a few wobbly bits!

Well, you're actually below average as the average UK dress size is a 14 (or even a 16 depending on your source).

You definitely sound like you have an eating disorder, whether you're on your way to anorexia or not I think seeing your doctor and getting a referral to a counsellor would be a good start. A nutritionist may also help but you obviously don't have a healthy attitude towards food, and I think a counsellor may be your best bet. Good luck.

JesterMFP

It sounds like you've been doing a lot of thinking (and probably have a lot more to do!) To be honest, it also sounds like you're at a point where you're ready to make some changes. Hopefully the nutritionist will be of some help, but I'd definitely go back to your GP, regardless of the outcome with the nutritionist. Try to be as honest with them as possible.

xNJAx

Thank you both for your advice. I wish I could say I'm going to take it, but I've decided against talking to the Dr.

I'm a trainee Lawyer with only 9 months until I'm qualified and if there's anything like an eating disorder mentioned in my medical notes I'll have to declare it when I renew my membership in December. I don't know what effect that would have and I'm scared that it would mean 5 years of hard work down the drain if I was struck off for being 'mentally unstable' or something. I don't think I'm ill and I know I'm good at my job. I *am* going to try and make some changes with the nutritionist though and see how it goes. If necessary I'll re-think this down the line and maybe speak to a private therapist or something if I can't do it on my own, but I'll try and do it myself first - I'd be really embarrassed talking to Dr at this point and too worried about the consequences.

I hope it doesn't come across as if I've asked everybody for advice and then refused to take it because I don't mean to do that and I very much appreciate all the advice I've been given. I just think I'd like to not make too big a deal of things, at least for the time-being until I know whether or not I can change my attitude to food on my own.

Thanks again everyone! x