5 love languages...what's yours ?
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So..if you haven't heard of this book...it's by Gary Chapman and is incredibly interesting for married people or those in committed relationships.
Here's a snippet of the gist of the book...
"Many husbands and wives who had spent years struggling through marriages they thought were loveless discovered one or both spouses had long been showing love through messages that weren’t getting through. By recognizing their different love languages, they witnessed the rebirth of the love they thought had been gone for good."
So, what's your love language? Mine is quality time.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,†are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,†like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service†person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.†Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
Here's a snippet of the gist of the book...
"Many husbands and wives who had spent years struggling through marriages they thought were loveless discovered one or both spouses had long been showing love through messages that weren’t getting through. By recognizing their different love languages, they witnessed the rebirth of the love they thought had been gone for good."
So, what's your love language? Mine is quality time.
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,†are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.
Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,†like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service†person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.†Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.
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Replies
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Physical Touch! all the way. It took me a long time to accept it but my whole family are touchers. We don't hug or anything just touch a shoulder as we walk through the kitchen or grab a toe resting on the end of the couch. It wan't until college a guy I had known for 4 hours hugged me and I hadn't touched anyone other than a hand shake in like a month. It felt soooo nice.0
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Oh God. It's all of them! Lack of these are why OH and I are struggling right now.0
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Totally Acts of Service. I also am partly Quality Time.0
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Words of Affirmation. I'm a very emotional person, and wear my heart on my sleeve. I need to hear nice things.0
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Words of Affirmation AND Physical Touch0
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My primary is acts of service, my secondary is QT.
Hubby's primary is physical touch and secondary is QT.0 -
Love your post, and love this book - I am words of affirmation, then physical touch, quality time, acts of service, gifts
Thanks for posting. 0 -
I think a little of all of them.0
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Mine are Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service.0
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Mine is words of affirmation first then quality time second. :flowerforyou:0
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Love your post, and love this book - I am words of affirmation, then physical touch, quality time, acts of service, gifts Thanks for posting.
you're welcome! 0 -
I have this book, and I love it!
I'm physical touch, almost completely. I grossly outscore the other categories.
Words of affirmation are a distant second, though.0 -
Physical touch n quality time for sure! My husband of 3yrs soooo doesn't get it! Uuugh0
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Words of affirmation.0
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Words of Affirmation and then Physical Touch!0
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Hmmm, I dont think mine is physical touch or words of affirmation because I get those all the time. But a thoughtful gift or card that says he knows what I like and was thinking about me really makes my day. It means the world to me that he puts the time into getting me something that he knows is important to me or would make me happy. I guess we are all just wired differently. Hence the 5 different languages
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All of the above, but mainly acts of service and physical touch.. I think lol0
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Receiving gifts.
followed by Words of Affirmation.0 -
Mine is definitely acts of service. I think my husband would be words of affirmation. I really need to read that book...I am currently reading the Five Love Languages of Children though!0
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Mine is physical touch... then quality time0
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Wait ... too many words.... WHAT?0
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Words of affirmation and physical touch.
My partner and I are are like IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou all day, and I like it, I have a friend who doesn't say she loves her partner all the time because it makes it more special when she does say it, but I love that we are always saying it. And we are always touching, always holding hands or hugging or giving each other pats on the butt haha. We've been together almost 3 years, and hopefully we'll still be the same when we've been together 30 years!0 -
My husband and I read the book and we took the test to figure out what we are. I am equally quality time and receiving gifts. My hubby is physical touch.0
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Physical touch.. I'm not high maintenance, but my spouse does have to touch base with me frequently.. a pat here, a smooch there, holding hands when we're in the car or walking.. And it's ironic, too, because I don't like anyone to touch me or come close enough to me to touch me in general.. everyone but my husband and kids are kept (literally) at arms length.0
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I am quality time with a bit of touch. My husband is touch with a little bit of quality time. It works out well.0
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Quality time for sure.0
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Words of Affirmation AND Physical Touch
Yup. Me too!0 -
Words of Affirmation AND Physical Touch0
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Physical touch outweighs acts of service by a little bit.0
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When it comes to receiving love from my husband my love language is Acts Of Service.
When it comes to my friendships I like to receive love in the form of Quality Time.0
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