Question for the guys

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2

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  • jaysonhijinx
    jaysonhijinx Posts: 663 Member
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    Either is fine with me.

    If I'm interested in a girl and I've picked up she's interested too I'll gladly do the pursuing. Previous girl I dated was chasing me for months before I realised - I can be super oblivious at times -_-
  • Lift_hard_eat_big
    Lift_hard_eat_big Posts: 2,278 Member
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    I quality man will pursue a woman, even after being shot down a time or two.
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    bump
  • zooblflot
    zooblflot Posts: 131
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    If a woman likes me it definitely makes it easier if she makes that clear. These days people have such a wide range of personalities that it's hard to tell if someone may be interested in you or if they're just being friendly. If you like a guy and let him know it (and he likes you) he'll take it from there in most cases.
  • scribe313
    scribe313 Posts: 103 Member
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    Guys get rejected all of the time. It can get a little tiring. Some dudes are really TOO (creepy) aggressive and it makes women nervous and nice guys less willing to make the first move. Nice guys don't want to be viewed as a weird-o. A woman asking me out for coffee or touching my arm a lot sort of gives me the green light that she likes me too. Also let me say this, more than once a woman that I have not thought of as a partner has changed my mind by just flirting. Someone that I may have only viewed as a co-worker or friend's relative is suddenly someone I might build a life with. :wink:
  • tabulator32
    tabulator32 Posts: 701 Member
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    Guys get rejected all of the time. It can get a little tiring. Some dudes are really TOO (creepy) aggressive and it makes women nervous and nice guys less willing to make the first move. Nice guys don't want to be viewed as a weird-o. A woman asking me out for coffee or touching my arm a lot sort of gives me the green light that she likes me too. Also let me say this, more than once a woman that I have not thought of as a partner has changed my mind by just flirting. Someone that I may have only viewed as a co-worker or friend's relative is suddenly someone I might build a life with. :wink:

    This.

    There is no telling how many women I missed an opportunity to date because I was too shy to ask. (Probably not that many, really. LOL)

    I wanted to be absolutely sure she was interested before I asked to save me from that potential feeling of wanting the earth to open up and swallow me if she laughed at me and said "no."

    The only women I ever dated are the ones that gave me a clear, unmistakable sign they were interested, and the ones that asked me out, too!

    I'm not an introvert and I am not shy when it comes to addressing a room full of people or teaching a class, just when it comes to asking someone out. Of course, I'm married to one of the women brave enough to ask me out so it all worked out in the end. :bigsmile:
  • andyswift
    andyswift Posts: 17
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    Guys don't mind either way. I believe what they don't want is mixed messages or being led along. If you like someone go for it
  • stayxtrue
    stayxtrue Posts: 1,190 Member
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    I love it when a girl makes the first attempt... Usualy when guys do the girl shuts them down hahaha! At least when I a girl flirts you know it could be something :D
  • kimber0607
    kimber0607 Posts: 994 Member
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    Me personally... I wouldnt ask a guy out......and I'm not really good at the flirty thing....

    I feel if a man is that interested..he will make a move
    If I have to so aggressively pursue him..Im not interested and he probably isn't either,,LOL (that made sense right?)

    Nothing wrong though, if interested with throwing out a same clue etc that you would like ot hang out
    again I think if he is interested in you, he wont miss the hint
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
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    I've been told that I'm unapproachable. Must be the way I'm standing or something :P
    Therefore, there have been a few times when I've had to be slightly aggressive.

    ETA: Although, I remember hearing once (probably in a bad movie) that, "if a guy wants it to happen, he WILL make it happen." Soooo I dunno. I gave up a month ago. Focusing on myself.
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
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    The key is to give the guy a clear sign that you are interested, and he will take it from there.
    Guys- can you give clues as to what these 'clear signs' are? A smile, a touch, a sign saying 'do me do me' ?
    Or what are signs you show- I keep getting told a guy was flirting with me (after the fact, sigh). I try to give openings like 'yeah I love coffee' or 'not sure what I'll do for lunch today' or 'I really need a beer' and if they are flirting they don't pick up. It's frustrating to think I missed out on a chance to date a great guy if they really were interested.
  • recreatinghappiness
    recreatinghappiness Posts: 7 Member
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    ^^^^^^^^^ hahahahah yes. i here you. what the **** are these signs.
  • sktllmdrhmz
    sktllmdrhmz Posts: 2,073 Member
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    a sign saying 'do me do me' ?

    That would certainly take the guess work out of it. It would maybe (depends on the day, I guess, lol) take the thrill out of it.

    Maybe more a sign that said, "there is at least the slightest of possibilities you could do 'do me do me.'" An above poster mentioned a line from a movie, I think "He's Just Not That Into You," that said that if a guy wants it to happen, it WILL happen. That's pretty much the case. I think most guys will be absolutely tenacious, but ONLY if they think they have a chance, however small. A lot of times something happens and a girl gets ruled out completely as even being an option.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    a sign saying 'do me do me' ?

    That would certainly take the guess work out of it. It would maybe (depends on the day, I guess, lol) take the thrill out of it.

    Maybe more a sign that said, "there is at least the slightest of possibilities you could do 'do me do me.'" An above poster mentioned a line from a movie, I think "He's Just Not That Into You," that said that if a guy wants it to happen, it WILL happen. That's pretty much the case. I think most guys will be absolutely tenacious, but ONLY if they think they have a chance, however small. A lot of times something happens and a girl gets ruled out completely as even being an option.


    or how about predator vision!
    blue = :noway:
    orange/yellow = :blushing:
    red = :heart: :smooched: :devil:
  • Rick_SH
    Rick_SH Posts: 71 Member
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    OK, I'm a father of a 20-something daughter and so my dad voice is speaking when I say that I would recommend you just be you. If flirting comes naturally to you, then do it but if you don't normally do it, it may come across as awkward or even back fire.

    As a guy, I always liked being flirted with but like many others here have said, most times we don't even know we are being flirted with. So don';t be disappointed if you get no response. You may just have to try and try again.

    You are a pretty lady, the right guy is out there. Be patient my dear.

    OK, dad is done speaking. :-)
  • watboy
    watboy Posts: 380 Member
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    Same here dude. I had the same issue
    I've been told the same thing, but I don't. I've been flirted with and didn't know it. I just don't see the signs. I thought they were just being friendly. It wasn't until later (much later) that my friends told me she was flirting with me. My reply: "Really? I had no idea. Oh well, too late."

    This has happened way too often.

    As for your question: I prefer to chase them. That way, I can tell if they are receptive to my advances. Clearly, I can't tell if they are flirting with me...but I'm an idiot, obviously!
  • DestroyTheOpposition
    DestroyTheOpposition Posts: 444 Member
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    Its good to chase a little. When you are 18, 19, 20... you don't mind chasing as much, with experience it can get old. Especially when that chase led to second rate stuff. hah! Give him a little chase so he knows you're into it... then watch him REALLY chase. :D
  • Di3012
    Di3012 Posts: 2,250 Member
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    Females are the hunters, the males just don't realize it.

    :laugh:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Don't be an ice queen, definitely be flirty. I like where there are some signs she's interested. When I see that, I'll be able to ask someone out, etc.
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
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    I don't pursue anyone.

    I work in a bar, and meet enough women there regardless.

    It's convenient.

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