Having a difficult time adjusting to new body.

striveforhealthy

Has anyone else dealt with this? I've lost 67lbs with another 13lbs to go. From the time I was a teenager, I was overweight. I mean granted as my teen years went on my overweightness turned into being obese. (5'4" about 200lbs) I've never been this small, ever. I'm about 130lbs now and am having a hard time adjusting to my new body. I love being healthy, don't get me wrong and I don't plan on ever letting my weight get out of control again, but I don't recognize myself at times. It's a bit scary. I guess it's a bit of an identity crisis.

missmiller1

I had the same issues as well. I was 200 pounds at only 5 feet tall as a teenager. I got down to 130-ish my Junior year in high school and one day looking in the mirror I didn't recognize myself and I freaked out. I sabotaged myself and gained weight, which was stupid. Thinking back, I think I just happened to lost a lot of weight that week and my face looked thinner as a result. If I would have just accepted myself then, I know I would be so much more comfortable with my body and a lot more confident now. Recently I got down to as low as 113.5 pounds, but I had no muscle and was skinny fat and my face looked gaunt. Now I am up to 122-125 pounds at 17% body fat and building muscle like crazy. I am not done with my transformation, but now I know that my body is going to be changing for the better and I am prepared for that.

You just need time to accept what you look like now and be proud of where you have come from.

Take care.

striveforhealthy

Thank you for the support, it's greatly appreciated. It's just all still very new to me especially since I notice I am losing more inches now versus actual weight and see my frame getting smaller.

jucciifruit

This has happended to me before. In highschool i got all the way up to 280. i was wearing a size 24. I dropped down to 215 and it felt so strange. I mean i want skinny but it was crazy because i was used to being out of breath all the time and people started complimenting and saying they didnt even know who i was at times. Since then i had a baby and let my weight get out of control again. i got up to 276 but im down to 245 now. Im trying to work hard at getting heatly. I know now to accept the transformation because its a good thing. I am me, fat, skinny, or in between.

dg09

Do you mean it in the sense that you still view yourself at your heaviest sometimes?

purpleroxmysocks

I've been dealing with this a lot lately. I am 5'8.5", I went from being 240lbs wearing a size 22 to currently 160lbs wearing a size 7/8 and I still can't really believe that this is my body. I still have it in my head that I am 240lbs, I want to lose 20 more lbs, which I think I should be able to but I am starting to think that it may be a little unrealistic, every keeps telling me that if I lose that much I'll look sick, I guess I just don't realize what my body really looks like. Hopefully I'll be able to accept myself. No one has a problem with my weight but me.

lamby284

Even with just the 20 lbs I lost, it was a change in personality that was the biggest thing to adjust to. I definitely get more looks from guys, compared to none. I guess im still kind of shy about it and cannot take a compliment. People treat me a little nicer as well as I feel more confident in myself. Anyways, I dont know what kind of advice to give. You have to figure out your identity yourself. Just thought id share my experience a little.

_SABOTEUR_

I know what you mean. I look down at my body and still think I look about the same. Then I see a photo or catch my reflection and don't recognise myself.

Luckily my thoughts are, 'That's guy's hot...oh it's me!' Bit narcissistic but it is def a confidence boost. :laugh:

You just have to think about it in a positive way.

IronGirlShae

I was always pretty, thin and curvy (read; a little busty and a decent butt with a tiny waist and thin-ish legs) as a teen, no more than 125 pounds ever, usually 115 or so. It wasn't until college that I packed on the weight and got to 200 lbs, and I'm only 5'2". No one I know from college had ever seen me thin, so when I lost 84 lbs it was a shock to them. They said I looked sick, but people from back home and my family thought I looked great because they knew me when I was young and skinny. The hard part for me was adjusting to the new clothes and people looking at me. I do not like men checking me out and I get very embarrassed. I was enjoying being 'pretty' for the first time in years and got some really cute new clothes, but all the comments gave me anxiety. I gained a lot of weight back and started covering up more than ever. I hardly show more than my collar bones or knees. I want to lose weight again and I am hoping that this time I will not feel so weird.

danceym

I've mostly had the opposite problem, I was very skinny as a teen and tall and that is how I've identified with myself but obviously I'm not 5'10" and 125 lbs anymore. I'm tall and skinny only in my head. I think that the longer you live with your new body the more used to it you'll be come. You're still you inside.

Cheers
Mary

sarahrbraun

The hard part for me was adjusting to the new clothes and people looking at me. I do not like men checking me out and I get very embarrassed. I was enjoying being 'pretty' for the first time in years and got some really cute new clothes

this is me. I am very conscious of wearing snug clothing. Learning to like the way I looked in stuff like yoga pants and form fitting tanks took some mental work. I'm just wrapping my head around the idea that I do not look hideous and men might enjoy looking at me...

TravelDog14

I'm working through this too after having lost over 60 pounds.

There is a mere 3 pounds left between me and my goal weight of 160 (I'm 5' 10") and I'm a bit unsure how it's going to be in maintenance mode. My focus needs to adjust to this being the new me, these are my new smaller clothes, that's my body shape staring back at me in the mirror.

These are all good things, don't get me wrong but it's still an adjustment I'm having to get used to in my head.

Here's hoping 2013 is the year of embracing it!

Duck_Puddle

This is an issue for me too. I don't "see" myself any differently than I did before I lost 75 lbs. I look at my jeans and think they are impossibly small for my fat *kitten*, and yet they fit. People tell me to give myself time-I'll see it eventually, but I don't know. I think I might need some sort of professional help or something-I don't see it in pictures, the mirror, nothing...

scheatwood

I've lost almost 60 pounds but still feel the same, even though I'm in clothes almost 3 sizes smaller. I wonder about the day I'll realize I can stop wanting to lose weight because I am/feel heavy. I'm 20 pounds away from my freshman high school weight and it's all so unreal for me.

Duck_Puddle

I just want to add that this is exactly why I love mfp. My friends irl are fantastic, lovely people-but they just don't "get" how I don't "see" my change (currently 5-6 clothes sizes and counting) or how/why I'm uncomfortable with clothes or people looking at me. I love that I can come to mfp and see that I'm not alone and I'm not a freak of nature for feeling this way.

SScott75

I got up to 321 lbs at one time. I lost 70 of that and started getting a lot of attention and compliments. I felt like my friends and family were being weird and staring a lot. It made me uncomfortable. You'd think that I'd have gotten used to it gradually, but no one ever started complimenting me or paying attention til about 65-70 lbs were gone. Then it was too much for me. I let myself get out of control again and gained almost all of it back.
Don't do that! It is so hard to get back off again. And the attention will go away eventually. And I'm sure that eventually you will get used to the new reflection too. Be proud of what you've accomplished! And think of the health strides you've most surely made!

NJL13500

I'm with you on this one. I was not heavy as a teenager or in college. I gained my weight after having kids and being in an unhappy marriage. My highest weight was 232 and I was wearing a size 20. I lost 50 pounds got down to a size 12 and started getting compliments and stopped at that weight for a while. Once my 12's started to get tight after gaining 10 pounds back I decided to lose the weight once and for all. I' down to 128-130 and a size 2. I still see myself as a size 12. I see how small I am in pictures, but not when I look in the mirror. I lost my weight slowly and in a healthy way, but muy mind still hasn't caught up yet.

Jen800

This is such a great thread, and it's something I worry about often. I'm about 11-16 pounds away from my goal, and I can't tell a difference in the mirror, my measurements have barely changed, etc. I wouldn't say I have a new body and nobody freaks out and notices my weight loss yet, but I worry about these things all the time. Thanks for posting this!

mrsknash

In my head I still feel like the 18 year old me of ten years ago. I don't feel like I am fast approaching 30! As such I always feel like the weight I was then (224lb), and no matter how big (279lb) or how small (172lb, not back here yet though) I get, my mental image of myself never changes. I am currently 238.2lb and I'm always shocked by how big I look in photos.

dhiammarath

Gosh yes. I was skinny as a kid, skinny as a teenager, had some difficulties money wise in college and had months of feast and famine. The yo-yo of food and no food (literally) caused the initial weight to pack on, that and some medical issues, surgery and a general slowing down of a formerly fairly healthy lifestyle.

Now, I've lost roughly 34-35 kg, and I've dropped many sizes in clothing. Sometimes, I look at myself and go, "Holy crap that's /me/!" And other days, I look at myself and think, "Holy /crap/, that's me." I see skinny me, and I see fat me. When I have a filling dinner, I still want to ball up my jacket on my belly to hide a bulging midsection that's no longer there. In clothing, I still see the larger, plus-sized woman I once was.

Pictures help put things in perspective, and I have also noticed that examining myself in pieces (aka, only stand where my arm is the only thing in the mirror) helps me to see past what my brain struggles to see. We identify with what we look like and that takes a long time to change.

I'm still working on mine. I have to remind myself, some days, that I'm not done yet. I'm on the last stretch, but I've still got a ways to go (when I think I look skinny enough to stop). I'm aiming for *healthy*, and my body fat % is not healthy yet.

I have to remind myself, as well, of how far I've come, when I look in the mirror and see the old fat me. I might not be done, but I've come a heck of a long way.

It's slow going, but I'm slowly, finally starting to see the real me emerging out of the fat-girl-crisis in the mirror. It just takes time.

At least, I hope so. I want no weeble-wobbling of emotional fail when I'm finally maintaining! I am to be HAPPY.

pkw58

Oh, I am so glad you posted and so many responded. (I am 54 years old, it never gets easier!)... I went from a size 14 to a size 6 in 2012. i am going on like month 4 or 5 of being at my goal weight. I have been at my goal "size" since July 2012. I hadn't been at my goal size for over 20 years. So I had to rebuild my wardrobe - that has helped the most.

I am following Project 333.. I only buy clothes that fit and make me feel beautiful. In today's world, that is easier said than done. I am 5'8" and size 6 Tall is not always easy to find.. But since I am limiting how many pieces I buy , it makes me feel more in control. I still reach for the large or extra large when trying on clothes at first, but then put them back and look for a medium/small. It is weird to walk up to the size 6/8 rack at TJ Maxx or Marshalls. (Oh, BTW, clothing manufacturers, your sizing methods suck - I am not a size 4 in skirts for my height/weight, so make the waste bands adjustable, ok?)

I no longer have fat or skinny jeans. Just Jeans that fit. Thank you MFP.

vanessalillian82

I find that it runs both ways - I weighed in for the new year yesterday and discovered I had gained 10kg, despite being utterly convinced that I was still a (Aus) size 12, and not the size 16 I had been the last time I was this weight. Suffice it to say my clothes are quite tight now!

But then I still harbour that self-doubt that sees the "bad" bits, that sees that "fat girl" that I was from childhood right through to about 26 years old. I'm nearly 6'2" so I've always "carried it well", but that doesn't make me feel any better about myself.

Also, being so tall, and being able to "carry it well", has its downside - I can gain 5 or 10kg and nobody notices. But I can also lose 5 or 10kg and nobody (myself included) notices. So basically I have to lose a lot more weight to see the same results than someone a foot shorter than me does, which makes it a much longer and more tedious process. It also makes it harder to re-adjust what you are seeing, because the changes (per kilo) are much smaller.

The only time I managed to lose weight, my friends and family started to call me skinny. I was NOT skinny and I was not toned. I was still in the upper reaches of the healthy BMI range (currently in the Overweight category), and I wasn't at all fit - my cellulite and fat rolls were still there, albeit smaller - but it almost felt like people were saying something negative about me, which was very confusing. Especially because I couldn't see what they could. Although, for the record, I've seen photos of that time since regaining the weight, and I still wouldn't consider myself to be skinny, just no longer fat. So I recommend photos for your own benchmark. Keep a set of photos of you at different sizes to help remind you how far you've come because mirrors lie, and people have opinions, but photos are pretty hard to argue with.

Init2winIt79

Try taking a few seconds or minutes of your day or week to sit down or stand in front of the mirror & smile at yourself, compliment yourself, you derserve it, you have an achievement to celebrate! Celebrate it every day if you can, smile at yourself in the mirror and give yourslef positive reinforcement...ex: "This is me, I love myself, I worked hard to get here, I look great! I'm hot!..etc
It sounds silly..but hey nobody will know...and it really works...saying things outloud so that you can hear them makes you listen and understand that they are true.