The sexy Chinese food guy

heatherlee33

Hey everyone, so I'm here again. Lets not go there though.

So I went to Chinese food the other night with my family, my mum was buying because I had slaved in her hoarder house for the entire day trying to help the woman who probably needs medication for her hording problem. So I was excited, mmmm, Chinese, good Chinese too not the crappy stuff you get at these chain places. SO we walk in and ahhhh, it's not busy, even better, I walk up to the counter to wait for a table, I'm holding my 3 year old daughter and I see the Sexy Chinese waiter coming to seat us. I smile...I'm excited, and I'm nice...right.

Sexy Chinese Waiter (who is equivalent to Robert Patterson just all the sexier for his ethnicity), did not smile back, or nod his head, or say a word...he arched one delicately shaped eyebrow at me. SLAM. It was a like the arch of an arrow with a message tied to it for the enemy..."What are you smiling at Troll?"

I'm hurt and confused. Was I just way too excited about Chinese food? Is he too used to overweight American girls ogling him (even though I was not!)? But here it is, the eyebrow-arrow launches me into my inner monologue....

'He thinks I'm fat. I am fat. Why don't I do something about this? Why can't I do something about this and stick WITH IT? Am I that hideous that the Chinese food waiter gets to cut me down because I smiled at him? I should be ashamed of myself.'


It's like two days later but damn it if that eyebrow has not burned itself into my retinas. The things about dieting is, I'm Hungry. I mean, yeah I have that whole food for comfort thing and truly I'm a cupcake-eating-quitter at heart, but is there hope? Can people really change?

cmriverside

Some Asian cultures think it is rude to smile at strangers. Cut him a break. He didn't know you, probably wasn't judging.

heatherlee33

Honestly, I don't think Sexy Chinese Waiter needs a break. I think he's probably raking in the tail, as well as the tips. What I'm really worried about though is change. Thanks for the post though. I'm so glad that there's somebody listening! I feel pretty alone in my tight size 14s.

omgwtfMindyloo

I've had some fun times with Sexy Japanese Waiters. And that was when I was a size 20, if that matters at all.

If he was being judgey than be-gone with him. This world is full of Sexy Waiters (and individuals with other jobs). Many of whom are sure to appreciate your charms.

Perhaps he was a Sexy-Yet-Awkward Chinese Waiter, and was trying out his "come hither" look with you, and missed his mark?

Leiki

Some Asian cultures think it is rude to smile at strangers. Cut him a break. He didn't know you, probably wasn't judging.

cmriverside is right. Eye contact and smiling are not usual habits Asians have for strangers. They may adopt these practices if they become acclimated with American culture, but it is not inherit for us.

jenniferpowell1980

Maybe he was having as bad day and it had nothing to do with you at all, or maybe he isnt a nice person, or maybe..........the list goes on, i wouldnt worry about things that might not exsist! You are gorgeous and any man would be lucky to have you smile at them. xx

Jeff92se

That's how you know you're in a good chinese resturant. The waiters are rude! lmao.

Nice to see us asians getting a 2nd look from the women.

heatherlee33

Thanks everyone! SO tell me, because this is probably my biggest fault. What do you do to not eat? I mean, I eat meals and do okay, but I'm a grazer. I'm bored. I eat. I'm watching tv. I eat. Please don't tell me to go for a walk, I would be walking all day long! Plus I live in Utah, it's freaking cold in Utah people! I need like a five minute-get my head back-will power boosting trick. Anyone got any of those? Seriously you could make some money in America if you do!

heatherlee33

Yeah, those guys aren't losing any money. Super nice place. Asians are sexy as all get out too! For real, Jet Li, please!?!

Jeff92se

I snack on chips. Why do you think we're all here? lol.

I try to sub better though. ie.. air popped popcorn vs potatao chips. Apple or Chobani vs ice cream etc... peanut butter and banana on what toast works well.

JustLindaLou

Thanks everyone! SO tell me, because this is probably my biggest fault. What do you do to not eat? I mean, I eat meals and do okay, but I'm a grazer. I'm bored. I eat. I'm watching tv. I eat. Please don't tell me to go for a walk, I would be walking all day long! Plus I live in Utah, it's freaking cold in Utah people! I need like a five minute-get my head back-will power boosting trick. Anyone got any of those? Seriously you could make some money in America if you do!

I go to bed... and daydream about the sexy Chinese waiter (or in my case, the hotty client from Alaska who comes to town every few weeks and doesn't seem to know I exist and notice that I have drooled on his paperwork....)

Drinking water sometimes helps, gulping a big o' glass of it just so I feel full... But for me, danger time is right after my kid goes to bed and I want to eat the entire house... I either get on the computer and troll Facebook or MFP, or just go to bed.... I am getting caught up on my sleep these days.... LOL

If ya gotta munch, popcorn can be a good option, a whole lot of it has very few calories and can satisfy the crunchy/salty tooth.
My sweet tooth helper is very dark chocolate, a small piece eaten slowly (or in 2 bites instead of swallowing whole...)

......oh and BTW, what did your fortune cookie say???

jenniferpowell1980

Drinking water sometimes helps, gulping a big o' glass of it just so I feel full... But for me, danger time is right after my kid goes to bed and I want to eat the entire house... I either get on the computer and troll Facebook or MFP, or just go to bed.... I am getting caught up on my sleep these days.... LOL


So can relate to this one, i seemed to have cracked it by taking my laptop to bed, well away from the kitchen, with a large selection of fruit to munch through. The water thing works for me too.

Musikelektronik

There are at least 150 reasons why the waiter didn't fling himself at you just because you smiled at him. Here are a few:

-- He's married.
-- He's in a long-term, committed relationship.
-- He's a professional and doesn't believe in flirting with customers.
-- He didn't even recognize what you were doing as flirting.
-- He doesn't date women with kids.
-- He doesn't date women at all.
-- He's not attracted to blondes.
-- He'd had a bad day and just wasn't in the mood.
-- He doesn't fling himself at every woman who smiles at him because that would be really, really creepy.

But to answer one of your other questions, it's not about "not eating." You just need to control the number of calories that you eat. Most people here would probably say that they eat a lot when they're on a so-called "diet." If you're not eating calorie-dense crap, you can really get a lot of bang for your calorie buck.

Anyway, don't give up.

Edit: I just read your profile, and need to add another one:

-- He doesn't date married chicks.

heatherlee33

The fortune cookie was perhaps the biggest bummer of all. It said something like 'good things will happen after you work a lot'. HA! Instant gratification denied!

It should have said something like... Sexy Chinese Waiter wants your number!

Which would have made me feel better!

heatherlee33

I didn't want the waiter to fling himself at me...truly. I am married also. I was just confused by the hostility. I'm smiling, I'm waiting for a table. I didn't deserve the stick in the eye. The point was, his tiny look, his small arched brow launched me into my self-loathing. Really who cares about Sexy Chinese Waiter, he's just:blushing: :blushing: :blushing: some dude that shovels deep fried goodness at me. The problem is my love affair with deep fried goodness.

Brandicaloriecountess

Maybe he had a bad day at work?

mrmanmeat

Most interesting intro thread.

Typical woman though, worrying and thinking way too much.

Welcome to MFP

ishallnotwant

Thanks everyone! SO tell me, because this is probably my biggest fault. What do you do to not eat? I mean, I eat meals and do okay, but I'm a grazer. I'm bored. I eat. I'm watching tv. I eat. Please don't tell me to go for a walk, I would be walking all day long! Plus I live in Utah, it's freaking cold in Utah people! I need like a five minute-get my head back-will power boosting trick. Anyone got any of those? Seriously you could make some money in America if you do!

This is from reading your profile, and i'm not putting it to be mean, but to give you things to think about when you need motivation, because it seemed to work when you started your mfp experience:

*think about your little one being so sick with her tummy on your vacation
*think about your hot husband and how you want him to show you off
*think about the sweeter than sugar compliments you'll get for your rockin' body!
*think about all those people who said you couldn't do it!

Then drop and give me 20, march in place for 10 minutes, or do some squats until your urge to munch passes. :flowerforyou: Maybe take up a hobby that keeps your hands busy while you watch tv or whatever-crochet? Embroidery? Then you wouldn't want to get food on your hands because it would mess up your project.

Do you have any special dates coming up to work towards? my anniversary is in 44 days and i've been counting down and busting my hump trying to get healthier for my husband for our anniversary celebration.

You know yourself better than any of us do...think to yourself and make a list of things that really motivate you. Put them in your MFP blog and even write them out and leave them around the house. For me, my profile picture is very motivating. Every time I look at it i'm reminded to work harder! What kinds of things motivate you?

I'm in the Modern Pin Up Girls group and it's really great, I think they have openings right now. Maybe you could join it, or another group for some motivation...also I take part in a daily accountability thread that has really helped me recently! The link is here, if you'd like to join in:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/509727-daily-check-in-spring-2012

BeetleChe13

That's how you know you're in a good chinese resturant. The waiters are rude! lmao.

Nice to see us asians getting a 2nd look from the women.

No kidding. I look forward to eating Chinese at a little family run place down the street because of the hot asian guy there. :blushing: I honestly feel bad for getting excited about going now that I'm married. He's tall, broad shouldered, and I swear he must wear black eyeliner. I forget my order every time he asks.

melbot24

GOT IT.

What if you just masturbated instead (while thinking about Jet Li, of course) every time you wanted to get a snack?

Jet Li would never raise his eyebrow at you.
Jet Li will treat you like a princess no matter what size you are.
Jet Li is better than that stupid cupcake you want to put in your mouth.

Jeff92se

GOT IT.

What if you just masturbated instead (while thinking about Jet Li, of course) every time you wanted to get a snack?

Jet Li would never raise his eyebrow at you.
Jet Li will treat you like a princess no matter what size you are.
Jet Li is better than that stupid cupcake you want to put in your mouth.

Genius!

But would that mean she'd want to do it again after an hour?

engineman312

well, sometimes you just got to carpe diem.

Cindy311

Well, you just pointed out two triggers: you eat when you're bored and when you watch t.v. so work from there. Find something to do to occupy your bored time. Read a book, play with your kid, clean your home, meal plan for the week, cook for the week anything to keep you busy until your meal or snack time. I myself had to break the habit of eating in front of the t.v., the food take just doesn't register the way it does when I'm at the dinner table. Maybe because it's junk food or maybe because I'm not concentrating on the taste... I'm never satisfied with just one portion of something watching a movie so now I just drink water.
And I'm sure Sexy Chinese Waiter was just having "one of those days" and probably didn't mean anything by the brow of grouchiness, lol!

melbot24

Probably.

But unlike eating a cupcake, there's nothing wrong with that!

Angie_Fritts

Well I have the same issue about snacking etc. So, what I do is to make sure I don't have any snacks in the house that will tempt me. I also purposely don't have change or $1 bills on me at work so that I can't give in to the temptation of the snack machine.

Lately, though if I am craving sweets I will buy myself a diet A&W rootbeer and that does the trick or a diet Big Red soda. Zero calories and satisfying.


It's work. But over time you can conquer this. I take it one day at a time.

auroranflash

Anyway, don't give up.

Edit: I just read your profile, and need to add another one:

-- He doesn't date married chicks.

^ Ahem.

Also, it's "Carpe Diem" not "Dium"

jenbunboo

Honestly, at this point I'm eating SO many nutrient dense low calorie foods (lots of veggies, low calorie flavor adders like vinegar and herbs and diced sun-dried tomatoes that aren't oil packed) that I don't get non-meal or snack specific hungry. I'm eating 3 full sized meals a day (300ish calories for breakfast, 400ish for lunch and dinner) and a couple snacks at 100-300 calories a piece depending on the day and exercise, or if I want a glass of wine or a beer. I used to graze a lot at the computer (I'm a work from home computer programmer by profession, my fiance is working out of state during the week so I kill non-exercise time on it), and I fill most of that compulsion with tea and water. Tea can be great on anti-oxidants and gosh darn flavorful. Just don't sabotage yourself by sweetening it, find something with some fruit in it so you don't want to put 4 spoonfuls of sugar in.

Now, don't be fooling yourself, losing weight and keeping it off is work, which you'll hear on here until you're sick of it. But...form the habits and it becomes so much easier. I track my meals as I'm finishing them up, or as I'm planning what I need to do to cook them. I don't always want to get up and work out in the morning, but I never regret making the choice. I only regret workouts that I skip. I've lost 30 lbs, gone from a size 18 to being able to squeeze into a 12 or get my 14s on and off without unbuttoning them. That is my willpower source for not grabbing a box of dry cereal and munching on it absentmindedly or opening up the box of cookies I have set aside for the next time friends are over. If you cheat or give up, the only person you are cheating on is yourself, the only person you're giving up on is yourself. And...your family and loved ones!

LordBezoar

Thanks everyone! SO tell me, because this is probably my biggest fault. What do you do to not eat? I mean, I eat meals and do okay, but I'm a grazer. I'm bored. I eat. I'm watching tv. I eat. Please don't tell me to go for a walk, I would be walking all day long! Plus I live in Utah, it's freaking cold in Utah people! I need like a five minute-get my head back-will power boosting trick. Anyone got any of those? Seriously you could make some money in America if you do!

I live in Utah, too and I'll admit that we have had a couple of chilly days, but by and large, the weather has been wonderful. DW and I do a lot of walking on the Jordan Parkway, I don't know if you are close to that or if you are further north or south than SLC, but I guarantee that there are places to go walking if you look for them. You sound a lot like me four months ago. I didn't want to walk, I didn't want to do much of anything. But DW & I have since purchased FitBits and they have really motivated us to get up and do stuff. I promise it can be done and that it is worth it.

Out of curiosity, was the restaurant Asian Star? Best Chinese food in the state, sometimes the worst service.

treetop57

That sexy Chinese food guy is gay. He's always smiling at me, and I just superciliously arch my supercilium.

ChristiH4000

Most interesting intro thread.

Typical woman though, worrying and thinking way too much.

Welcome to MFP

I agree that you have an awesome intro thread, and I agree that you're a typical woman, but I"m not going to dismiss you at that like this guy. Sheesh, what a pointless comment.
You're looking for a reflection of your value in the Chinese waiter's sexy little eyebrow, which is not where you're going to find it....EVER. Not even if he smiled back and slipped you his number instead of a fortune cookie which was just fun dreamy talk. The reason I say this is because the next waiter, doorman, hot stranger (who smiled at the girl before you) can't be where you determine how well you look or your self-worth. It has to come from inside you, and will only be enough when it does come from you. So what I'm saying is I feel your pain. I feel your hunger pang especially. This re-training isn't easy, but I hope not to give up on myself and I hope you don't give up on yourself either. Something I'm trying: Repeat a mantra when you're wanting to graze. Right now, I'm using "My pants are tight now, but I'm going to change that." You may be able to talk yourself out of that little treat.

Ninatoots

when I know I've had enough to eat for the day and feel the hungry monster calling me there are a few things I do: make lemon aid with splenda, have a sugar free cough drop, and just say things to my self about how this pain will pass and my other real pains will go away. This web site is helping me too! One day a week I have a "cheat day" and I look forward to that.

Nina