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chriswee2012

Hey,im applying for scholarship,please correct my essay or you can help me elaborate some more to make me longer,Thanks friends !

chriswee2012

I believe that if I get this scholarship, I will be enable to fulfill my desire to help others, to expand my knowledge base, and to travel. Throughout my life I have participated in extracurricular activities . I have striven for academic excellence, always wishing to make the most of my education.
Education has always been an important aspect of my life. While in high school I took challenging courses, such as advanced pure science subjects , physics, and biology ,chemistry and additonal mathematics. I enjoyed the maths and was involved in Educational Assessment Australia 2011 – International Competitions and Assessments for Mathematics . Year 2011,I was involved in Malaysia National Chemistry Quiz 2011 that was held at my school which is at Sekolah Menengah Sains Alam Shah.
Although education plays a significant role in my life, I am involved with many other activities. During high school I was an active member of several clubs, and served as committee members of Kadet Remaja Sekolah , Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya and Moral Society. I have particicapated for Pertandingan Kawad Kaki KRS for School,District and State.After a lot of determinations and hardwork,my team won first place twice in 2 years time for school competition.I also was selected as a facillitator of Bimbingan Cemerlang Sejarah SPM Programme 2011 SMK(P) Pudu and SM Sains Alam Shah.I taught other schools to help them achive good grades in Sejarah.
In addition to school related activities, I am involved with sports too such as Larian Amal 1 Malaysia 2010 and School’s Cross country 2010.In addition,I participated twice in International Ekiden Run for 2010 and 2011 that was held at Putrajaya.Furthermore,in 2010,my school selected few students to be participated in Consumerism Competition of Malaysia Consumer Day 2010 and I was one of them ..I feel that by participating in community-related activities and sports activities ,I am setting a positive example for the children and my school juniors to follow.
All of these experiences have helped to shape me. I have faced many challenges, balancing work and school, and I have willingly given my time. I enjoy listening, working with others, and acting as a educator. I have my parents who are wonderful, and who have had an influence on my life. I would one day like to give back what they have given to me by giving me supports and motivations every single time. I know that when my goals are realized, I will be able to provide something meaningful to everyone

elcieloesazul

Hey, Chris! It's a nice essay, but I made a few corrections for you. Good luck and if you have any questions, feel free to ask! :flowerforyou:


I believe that if I get this scholarship, I will be able to fulfill my desire to help others, to expand my knowledge base, and to travel. Throughout my life I have participated in extracurricular activities. I strive for academic excellence, always making the most of my education. Education has always been an important aspect of my life. While in high school, I took challenging courses, such as advanced pure science subjects: physics, biology, chemistry, and additional mathematics. I enjoyed math and was involved in Educational Assessment Australia 2011 – International Competitions and Assessments for Mathematics. In 2011, I was involved in Malaysia National Chemistry Quiz 2011, held at my school, Sekolah Menengah Sains Alam Shah. Although education plays a significant role in my life, I am involved in many other activities. During high school I was an active member of several clubs, and served as committee members of: Kadet Remaja Sekolah, Pembimbing Rakan Sebaya, and Moral Society. I have participated in Pertandingan Kawad Kaki KRS for School, District and State. After a lot of determination and hardwork, my team won first place twice in two years in school competitions. I also was selected as a facilitator of Bimbingan Cemerlang Sejarah SPM Programme 2011 SMK(P) Pudu and SM Sains Alam Shah. I also taught in other schools, helping them achieve good grades in Sejarah. In addition to school related activities, I am involved in sports too, such as Larian Amal 1 Malaysia 2010 and School’s Cross country 2010. In addition, I participated twice in International Ekiden Run for 2010 and 2011 that was held at Putrajaya. Furthermore, in 2010, my school selected a few students to participate in the Consumerism Competition of Malaysia Consumer Day 2010 and I was one of them. I feel that by participating in community-related activities and sport, I am setting a positive example for children and my school juniors to follow. All of these experiences have helped to shape me. I have faced many challenges, balancing work and school, and I have willingly given my time. I enjoy listening, working with others, and acting as an educator. I have my parents who are wonderful, and who have had a big influence on my life. I would one day like to give back what they have given to me by giving support and motivation in every thing I do. I know that when my goals are realized, I will be able to provide something meaningful to everyone.

chriswee2012

Thanks ! =D