My own worst enemy

vanessalillian82

Firstly, congratulations on your weight loss! 12kg is a great start

Second, what I find motivates me is that little excited feeling you get in your tummy when you walk into a clothing shop and try on the next size down and it fits like a glove... and then the next one... and the next one. Not many things beat that feeling!

Lastly, I have several male friends who I wonder "what if" about, and the what ifs range from weight to height (I'm 6'2") to athletecism to religion (my lack of it, specifically - can't really help your upbringing can you!). Don't beat yourself up about it. If he actually wanted to be with you he probably would have told you what he wanted up front. You shouldn't let the opinions or expectations of one person ruin all your hard work. Keep going - you can do it!

newmein2013

I was ALWAYS like this. This time, I learned the meaning of the phrase "Doing it for me". I don't listen to anyone anymore. I just graciously say "thank you" and "I feel great", etc. Then as soon as I walk away, I put it out of my head. I have a very serious goal of how I want to feel and look and strive to be medication free so It means a great deal to me to succeed right now. I can't afford to allow anyone to interfere with my goals. It's too important to ME. Find your motivation from within, listen to your own voice, and tune all others out. Surround yourself on here with positive and knowledgeable friends. You'll be fine. Congrats on the weight loss. Best of luck on your journey.

newmein2013

Well, I was going along famously until a couple of weeks ago when my best male friend whom I have loved for 23 years (despite being married and having other partners along the way) declared that I am the most beautiful woman he knows and that he had always hoped that I loved him enough to lose weight as I knew being fit and healthy was important to him. I of course thought I just wasn't his type all those years and that he never wanted me.

To be fair, I don't think that sounds particularly sympathetic. Did he ever tell you this before you decided to lose weight? If not, then how were you to know?? And I agree, not loving someone because of that isn't particularly nice. Sorry to put down someone you love...

He always knew how I felt and we had periods of being Friends with benefits but in terms of a relationship it never ever came up in conversation other than when he met his girlfriend who later became his wife when he said in passing "you would be perfect if you were thin"

He has been supportive of my weight loss journey - but now, I just wish we never had this recent discussion - I was happoer thinking he didn't care

This may be difficult to swallow right now but it sounds to me as though there was no real relationship potential here. I'm sure he loves you but if he was "in love" with you, the weight wouldn't have mattered. We're talking about two completely different levels of love here. Don't beat yourself up over "what could have been". That ship has sailed. Take care of yourself. Don't think of him in that way anymore. He's married, it's done. Sorry so blunt but I'm thinking of you and getting you back on track. You can't afford to waste your mental energy on "what could've been". You need to focus you.

danim90

It sounds as though you are still staying within your calories so there is nothing wrong with that.

Sometimes I have bad days and get down about it but it is nothing compared to the way I used to be - chocolate or cake everyday so I remind myself of that.

And I still have the same things but a smaller portion which makes me feel good because I have the self control to do so.

Like over easter weekend I let loose and put on a 1lb but I expected it, there was no way I could tell myself I would still lose. But it is the next week now and I am being ok again. Out for an indian tomorrow night but going to eat half and bring half home for the next night. Just little decisions like that which I make help me because I give myself a pat on the back.

I think if you are eating bad everyday and not making up for it then you really need to re-evaluate what it is that you want.

If you stayed the same will you be happy? If the answer is no then carry on with the weight loss.

I don't get down about trying to lose the weight but if I eat something bad I kick myself sometimes.

Just stay strong and allow yourself things in moderation

mbeckman21089

I am having a hard time with good vs. poor sources of motivation as well. Some days I think... "I need to keep going because I am doing so well and feeling so great". And other days I think really negative thoughts like "Wow even though I've lost a lot of weight I still look horrible in a swim suit, I will never lose enough weight to be satisfied."

Need to stay positive, and enourage ourselves for the right reasons!

anthemforagirl

It is a struggle. That overwhelming feeling gets to everyone who wants to lose weight.

I remind myself that the weight didn't go on in a week - all of it isn't going to come off in a week.

The important part is getting back up when you fall down.

SusanLovesToEat

One day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time.

niknak30

I had a really good talk to my trainer (who is great with exercise stuff but not usually the emotive stuff) yesterday and thankfully he was very understanding and we reset some goals, talked about things and I feel much better and now feel as though I have my groove back!

Thanks everyone for making me realise that I am not alone in my crazy feelings but also not alone here

It's been a HUGE help