Women & Weddings (from a guy's point of view)

TheGoblinRoad

This is for the women on MFP getting married.

If you're about to get married, please trust me: the guy is thrilled, unless it's a shotgun wedding, literally (with dear old dad standing nearby with his double gauge shotgun, fully loaded)

I understand that people want to "look their best" for their weddings, including the guys, so I'm not opposed to the concept of trying to lose weight in advance, BUT...

1. Your guy's going to think you're hot. That's just how it is.
2. Your guy wants you happy, not stressed about losing the weight.
3. How much better will your wedding be if you acknowledge yourself for every good habit you made to be healthier without spending half the time feeling lousy if you didn't reach the ultimate goal you set (which might've been unrealistic)

Writing this because I've noticed how people resort to methods that seem unhealthy. I'm not going to get into specifics about which methods, since people don't agree, and most of us aren't doctors anyway.

So be kind to yourself. Do what feels right, do what feels healthy, pursue health without putting yourself at risk, and appreciate yourself as much as you can on your wedding day!

----From a happily married guy who weighed more on his wedding day than he does now, whose wife wasn't slim at the wedding but nevertheless was the most beautiful he had ever seen her. (and 11 years later, thinks she's even more lovely on a regular day)

DominiqueSmall

Wow! That was just too sweet! And full of wisdom to boot!

TheGoblinRoad

Thanks, I hope it benefits at least one bride-to-be.

GoldSag1

This made me

grapeeyes1

Excellent post. Thank you.

ladykaisa

This is for the women on MFP getting married.

If you're about to get married, please trust me: the guy is thrilled, unless it's a shotgun wedding, literally (with dear old dad standing nearby with his double gauge shotgun, fully loaded)

I understand that people want to "look their best" for their weddings, including the guys, so I'm not opposed to the concept of trying to lose weight in advance, BUT...

1. Your guy's going to think you're hot. That's just how it is.
2. Your guy wants you happy, not stressed about losing the weight.
3. How much better will your wedding be if you acknowledge yourself for every good habit you made to be healthier without spending half the time feeling lousy if you didn't reach the ultimate goal you set (which might've been unrealistic)

Writing this because I've noticed how people resort to methods that seem unhealthy. I'm not going to get into specifics about which methods, since people don't agree, and most of us aren't doctors anyway.

So be kind to yourself. Do what feels right, do what feels healthy, pursue health without putting yourself at risk, and appreciate yourself as much as you can on your wedding day!

----From a happily married guy who weighed more on his wedding day than he does now, whose wife wasn't slim at the wedding but nevertheless was the most beautiful he had ever seen her. (and 11 years later, thinks she's even more lovely on a regular day)

Exactly! I mean, I'm trying to be fit for my wedding, but in all honesty, my Fiancee thinks I look best sans makeup, in glasses, in his tshirt and my yoga pants. Guys love us for *who* we are, not what we look like.

Unless they're shallow ****s.

Frankilou25

AAAwwwwwwwwww!! thats SO lovely!! my wedding day is in 3 months time and we are coming to NY to get hitchedd- yaye!! we are both trying to ose weight for the big day as the photos will be with us forever but like you said it doesn't matter your weight as you'll love each other forever!!

AZnewme

Your wife is one lucky woman to have you! Good advice!

k0nfyo0zed

love this very well said.

as a recently married woman, i can honestly say the perfect wedding isn't the trimmings, it's one that has you legally married to the person you love at the end of the day. that's all it takes. not a perfect dress in the perfect size with the perfect flowers and an elaborately designed cake. size 16 or size 6 you are going to be beautiful if you are happy. i feel like i was a gorgeous bride in a size 24 dress!

Kerri_is_so_very

Awwwww, aside from the simple fact that I will never marry again...>JUST AWWWW!!!! That was beautifully put!

imnotyourpal

You.Are.Awesome.

castadiva

Bless. :flowerforyou:

DisneySkaGirl

So true... if I could give you a hug I would!

Also, I must add that it shouldn't be so much about the wedding (though I myself had a lovely one), it is about the marriage, and it sounds like you sir have a wonderful one!

Carrot1971

This is one of the sweetest things i've read in a long time.

TheGoblinRoad

Exactly! I mean, I'm trying to be fit for my wedding, but in all honesty, my Fiancee thinks I look best sans makeup, in glasses, in his tshirt and my yoga pants. Guys love us for *who* we are, not what we look like.

Unless they're shallow ****s.

Women don't need makeup anyway. I think your fiancee thinks like I do. Yeah, there are guys out there who prefer women dressed up, made up, hair all perfect, but in all honesty I think those guys are rare.

Livingbalanced

Thanks for saying this. As I await 'the question' (which is bound to be coming soon!) I HAVE been thinking about trying to drop pounds just for my wedding dress and it's already stressing me out - which is totally ludicrous. It's supposed to be a special, happy, and wonderful time to celebrate - not a time to feel fat and embarrassed to go wedding dress shopping (that would NOT be fun).

I appreciate you speaking up - some of us need reminders now and again Your wife is lucky to have a thoughtful husband.

PlunderBunneh

Lovely post, sir. Well said.
I am smaller now than my husband has ever seen me, and you're right, he doesn't care. He loves me regardless.

Sherbog

I just printed your post off and giving it to a friend who is doing drastic measures for her wedding. Your thoughts were so well said and much better than I could ever express on paper. Thanks for sharing.

TheGoblinRoad

So true... if I could give you a hug I would!

Also, I must add that it shouldn't be so much about the wedding (though I myself had a lovely one), it is about the marriage, and it sounds like you sir have a wonderful one!

I agree 100%

The wedding becomes a fond memory, but the marriage is right now. Yes, I've got the best marriage! (it doesn't hurt that in 11 years, we've had one "fight")

ashreynolds09

Your wife is one lucky woman to have you! Good advice!

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BeautifulArtemis

This is awesome!

Krissy366

So true. I was heavy on my wedding day (still am, but working on it) and it didn't keep us from being happy, celebrating with family/friends and having a wonderful time.

I read an article recently about women getting feeding tubes before their weddings in order to lose weight. I think that's sad, and just a little pathetic.

marsellient

Very nice post, and just maybe it will help someone stress less!! As someone else said, more thought about the marriage and less about the wedding is important.

HeatherMN

As a bride-to-be (October 2013), I really appreciate this. Thanks for the wonderful reminder.

I keep telling myself that I was almost 30 lbs. heavier when I met my fiance, so he obviously thinks I'm awesome. If I don't lose anything from where I'm at today, it won't matter one bit to him, so it shouldn't matter to me, either!

sarahkatara

You are a good guy! I'm going to be a 2013 bride (hopefully, if all goes well) and i'm getting HEALTHY and HAPPY for the wedding. of course, looking my best is a priority but i know if i exude confidence and calm, all will fall into place. Some ladies here would do well to take this advice to heart!

TheGoblinRoad

I just printed your post off and giving it to a friend who is doing drastic measures for her wedding. Your thoughts were so well said and much better than I could ever express on paper. Thanks for sharing.

I appreciate that very much, and I hope it helps her. I think a lot of guys think as I do, though many don't want to say anything to their fiancees.

MrsORourke

As a bride to be...I must say, THIS is an awesome post!! THANK YOU!

minimaggie

Exactly! I mean, I'm trying to be fit for my wedding, but in all honesty, my Fiancee thinks I look best sans makeup, in glasses, in his tshirt and my yoga pants. Guys love us for *who* we are, not what we look like.

Unless they're shallow ****s.

Women don't need makeup anyway. I think your fiancee thinks like I do. Yeah, there are guys out there who prefer women dressed up, made up, hair all perfect, but in all honesty I think those guys are rare.

First let me say your wife is a lucky lady!!! You are sweet and supportive!!!

Secondly, while I LOVE getting all dolled up to go out and want all the compliments that go with the effort, my SO always thinks I look the sexiest when I get home from the gym with my ponytail, yoga pants and sweat soaked tank. He says it's the glow from a good work out that is the hottest!!!

sarahkatara

So true. I was heavy on my wedding day (still am, but working on it) and it didn't keep us from being happy, celebrating with family/friends and having a wonderful time.

I read an article recently about women getting feeding tubes before their weddings in order to lose weight. I think that's sad, and just a little pathetic.

Same here and it's more than a little pathetic. As someone recovered from anorexia, who spent at least a solid year refusing to eat enough food to stay alive and with a tube down her nose to replace those missing calories, it's insulting, disgusting, worrying, and absolutely unacceptable on every level. This makes a mockery of the extremes that some people have to rely on to LIVE. Whether an eating disorder or cancer that makes it hard to get the nutrition you need, an NG tube is the LAST resort for any doctor. Anyone who would prescribe this should have their licenses pulled immediately. Seriously. And can you imagine her little girl, whose mom doesn't pick her up at school because she has a tube stuck down her nose for vanity reasons? She doesn't deserve to be a mother.

jessicawrites

This was so sweet and lovely! I am getting married exactly six months from Friday and recently joined to lose about 10 pounds before dress fittings start (most of the weight comes from winter and holiday treats). Being engaged has its stressful moments, but mostly I've been so happy that we have this time to plan, dream, and get even more excited about the party we are planning for the people we love. Thanks for reminding me that when I see the look on his face on that day, the least important thing in the world will be whatever the scale said.

TheGoblinRoad

So true. I was heavy on my wedding day (still am, but working on it) and it didn't keep us from being happy, celebrating with family/friends and having a wonderful time.

I read an article recently about women getting feeding tubes before their weddings in order to lose weight. I think that's sad, and just a little pathetic.

Same here and it's more than a little pathetic. As someone recovered from anorexia, who spent at least a solid year refusing to eat enough food to stay alive and with a tube down her nose to replace those missing calories, it's insulting, disgusting, worrying, and absolutely unacceptable on every level. This makes a mockery of the extremes that some people have to rely on to LIVE. Whether an eating disorder or cancer that makes it hard to get the nutrition you need, an NG tube is the LAST resort for any doctor. Anyone who would prescribe this should have their licenses pulled immediately. Seriously. And can you imagine her little girl, whose mom doesn't pick her up at school because she has a tube stuck down her nose for vanity reasons? She doesn't deserve to be a mother.

Saw that. She likely isn't considering the way it could impact her daughter in the future. I wouldn't say she doesn't deserve to be a mom, but definitely what we do has an impact on our kids and that's something to at least consider. With my daughter, I try to demonstrate good habits. When I falter, it's usually when she's not around. Probably would already be my goal weight if she followed me around all day.