College and Parent Problems

hillary124

Hi everyone. I need a little advice. Im a college freshman, transferring to be closer to home next year.

I'm a mom of a 25 year old who has graduated from college and a 20 year old in college, so I'm asking from a parent perspective. Why are you wanting to change colleges now to be closer to home? If one of my sons wanted to do that and then "coincidentally" their girlfriend was going to the same local school, I don't think I'd like it much. I would think that relationship was dictating where they wanted to attend college. I wouldn't like a teenage relationship dictating that, but that's just me.

I had ALOT of problems with my current college:( None of them had to do with the boyfriend. I promise.

hillary124

TALK to your parents, be sure that they know why you are transfering, don't let boy's get in the way of your education. Be careful how you word things with your parents and don't have the boyfriend there when you talk. It will just create more tension.

They know Im not transferring because of him, and they are ok with me transferring. I made my decision of where im going before my boyfriend did. So they know Im not transferring because of him. Which is why this is so frustrating cause theyre mad at me anyway.



EVERYONE, thank you for the advice. It really does help alot to hear everyones input.

christine24t

Hi There- I am a mom of a 19 year old who's finishing her freshman year (see my pic:) I can tell you from a parents perspective that we have a tendency to worry about our daughters getting into serious relationships when we feel they should be living it up in college. I catch myself doing that all the time- my daughter had a serious BF in highschool and almost cancelled her out of state college plans and I was pretty upset. Eventually, they broke up and I have to admit I was happy about it. Nowadays, I just remind myself that she is an adult and I remind her that we are footing the bill for her education and try to avoid making judgemental statements about some of the questionable (but fun) activities she's been undertaking at College:)
You sound like a great kid- I don't think anyone needs to switch schools. Just remind your momma that you hve a set of goals for yourself that don't hinge on your relationship status and take a deep breath whenever she goes a little crazy. She does love you and has your best interest at heart:)

Exactly this. People who are in relationship in college tend to have less fun time with friends and spend more time coupled up. Your parents just don't want you to regret spending all this time with one person - they want you to experience everything life has to offer. For your sake and theirs, talk to them and explain that you will promise to spend time with your other friends and have fun. You are only in college once at this age - so live it up!

jcriscuolo

Hillary - I can understand your parents point of view. I believe that they are concerned about you getting serious at such a young age. My son got involved with a girl when he was 17 and she was 18. They dated for three years. They broke up and he regrets being so deeply involved with her. Me and my wife tried to stay out of it but knew that he was too young to have a steady girlfriend. You should think about keeping him as a friend but also keeping your options open. It sounds like he is a nice guy so it's not like they have an objection to him based on his actions. They want the best for you and now you are too young to pick one person at this point in your life. There is a lot of living to do so hang loose and keep your options open.
Don't be exclusive at such a young age. Explore, enjoy, experiment.

crazytreelady

Live your life. You're in college, so I'm assuming you're at least 18.

I wish it was that easy. Im 19, but my parents go under the rule "you live in our house, we pay for your college and food and phone and blah blah blah so we can still control your life." Which i understand....to an extent. Alot of this is mostly just me being so frustrated that they dont like my boyfriend and are that mad that were gonna be together. It hurts my feelings too .

Realize that you what you have **is a gift **and a privilege. There are students out there working two jobs, living on their own an going to school. Boyfriend issues at your age shouldn't be that big a deal and if you really want to be with him, move out and you'll have your own rules.

hillary124

Hillary - I can understand your parents point of view. I believe that they are concerned about you getting serious at such a young age. My son got involved with a girl when he was 17 and she was 18. They dated for three years. They broke up and he regrets being so deeply involved with her. Me and my wife tried to stay out of it but knew that he was too young to have a steady girlfriend. You should think about keeping him as a friend but also keeping your options open. It sounds like he is a nice guy so it's not like they have an objection to him based on his actions. They want the best for you and now you are too young to pick one person at this point in your life. There is a lot of living to do so hang loose and keep your options open.
Don't be exclusive at such a young age. Explore, enjoy, experiment.

I understand their point of view too, just not to such an extent. I think that they think our relationship is tumultuous and it wont be good if were together all the time, but in reality our relationship doesnt have any problems and i think they dont realize that. Thanks for the advice!

Mina133842

why would they think your relationship is "tumultuous?"