Husband & Family Support???
GardenFolly
Posts: 20
My husband has always done most of the cooking (he enjoys it.) He understands and appears to support my goals. But then he will bring home a *treat* for me! He does not force it into my mouth, but these are quite early days and sugar has long been my Achilles heel! Anyone else have similar issues
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yes..my wife does the same thing. she does it because she knows i like the particular junk she brings home. she is trying to be sweet, but at the same time knows i am trying to keep in shape. i have asked her to not do it, but she still does. i just gave up and make sure if i do eat that treat, i make sure it stays within my calorie allotment.0
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My bf supports me all the way.. Every time when we went out before we used to go get some tacos, he just loves mexican food, now when we go out he is like ´where to?´... I know he likes tacos so Im always saying him, lets go there, I know you want that, and he answers ´no, I cant do that to you´
We dont live together, but he is the same when he comes over and chill here, or when I go to his place. He wont eat in front of me anything I cant enjoy.0 -
I am wanting to be healthier but my boyfriend and I will go food shopping or go out to lunch/dinner and he will always get everything bad...I ask for water he gets pepsi...it is really frustrating! I was hoping that i would encourage him to try but there is no changing that boy!0
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YES!!... My husband does the same thing...I tell him that he is trying to sabotage me! He brought home a gigantic Reese's peanut butter egg for easter it was 220 cal for 1/4 of it... Really hubby?? He does it all the time I just want to punch him sometimes.... :devil:0
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my husband likes taking me out to eat because he enjoys it. i am trying to lose weight. gahhhh but he is sweet!0
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My husband and daughter are supportive as they too are watching their weight. My son however is a different matter. He seems to take great delight in eating anything and everything he can in front of me (it doesn't bother any more). He has also been moaning he is sick of eating low fat foods. Funny how it only tastes horrible now he knows it is low fat as he has been eating the same things for months and not said a word. He's lucky he can eat and eat but not put weight on :grumble:0
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YES!!... My husband does the same thing...I tell him that he is trying to sabotage me! He brought home a gigantic Reese's peanut butter egg for easter it was 220 cal for 1/4 of it... Really hubby?? He does it all the time I just want to punch him sometimes.... :devil:
^This.0 -
I think my hubby wants me to stay fat. The kids say this is my journey not theirs. Could be why I am addicted to this site!0
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My bf supports me all the way.. Every time when we went out before we used to go get some tacos, he just loves mexican food, now when we go out he is like ´where to?´... I know he likes tacos so Im always saying him, lets go there, I know you want that, and he answers ´no, I cant do that to you´
We dont live together, but he is the same when he comes over and chill here, or when I go to his place. He wont eat in front of me anything I cant enjoy.
I think I love your bf! (metaphorically of course
) If only I knew people who would be supportive in THIS manner. 0 -
^^^^ This... my husband is perhaps the sweetest and most supportive you can find...My bf supports me all the way.. Every time when we went out before we used to go get some tacos, he just loves mexican food, now when we go out he is like ´where to?´... I know he likes tacos so Im always saying him, lets go there, I know you want that, and he answers ´no, I cant do that to you´
We dont live together, but he is the same when he comes over and chill here, or when I go to his place. He wont eat in front of me anything I cant enjoy.0 -
^^^^ This... my husband is perhaps the sweetest and most supportive you can find...My bf supports me all the way.. Every time when we went out before we used to go get some tacos, he just loves mexican food, now when we go out he is like ´where to?´... I know he likes tacos so Im always saying him, lets go there, I know you want that, and he answers ´no, I cant do that to you´
We dont live together, but he is the same when he comes over and chill here, or when I go to his place. He wont eat in front of me anything I cant enjoy.
SOOOOO jealous right now.. T.T
The people I know just go blah blah blah doing it wrong, blah blah eat whatever you want its ok, blah blah blah doing weights will cause injury and back problems, blah blah blah (add something ridiculously stupid here) blah blah... STFU PLEASE!!! omg. Leave me alone to do what I want because in the end its my life and body. Not only that, im seeing some good progress!0 -
awww you are making me feel real lucky now :smooched:0
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augghhhh... and I thought my hubby was the only sabotaging partner... he definitely likes thinner women... in fact, when I was 132lbs over 2 years ago he became a little jealous and over protective. He would see me looking at shoes and clothes and actually insist I get them... but right now at my current weight of 167lbs he doesn't say anything (which says a lot if you know what I mean) but not only that... he will buy me treats as a "surprise"... he will come home with krispy kreme donuts, chocolate covered strawberries, and just last night he got me a red velvet cup cake! Just the cup cake with a whole half a cup of cheese cream frosting was 490 cals! :grumble: Just like it was mentioned above... he doesn't shove it down my throat... but it's hard to see it and not want to eat it.. plus my upbringing was "don't waste food, eat it all, there are people starving around the world" so I hate to waste/throw out food. In fact, the red velvet cupcake is right next to me at the computer... with about 20% of it bitten off
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augghhhh... and I thought my hubby was the only sabotaging partner... he definitely likes thinner women... in fact, when I was 132lbs over 2 years ago he became a little jealous and over protective. He would see me looking at shoes and clothes and actually insist I get them... but right now at my current weight of 167lbs he doesn't say anything (which says a lot if you know what I mean) but not only that... he will buy me treats as a "surprise"... he will come home with krispy kreme donuts, chocolate covered strawberries, and just last night he got me a red velvet cup cake! Just the cup cake with a whole half a cup of cheese cream frosting was 490 cals! :grumble: Just like it was mentioned above... he doesn't shove it down my throat... but it's hard to see it and not want to eat it.. plus my upbringing was "don't waste food, eat it all, there are people starving around the world" so I hate to waste/throw out food. In fact, the red velvet cupcake is right next to me at the computer... with about 20% of it bitten off
NO STOP! THROW THAT ACCURSED DEMON OUT THE WINDOW NOW! LITERALLY!!0 -
This past week I've finished workouts to find donuts, Mexican food and Chinese food. It makes things tough, and makes me angry.0
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My wife is the same, she buys nuts and kilo bags of sweets which amount to nothing but sugar. she'll sit and eat them whilst we watch tv at the end of the day. me sat there, knowing i don't have the calories to have even one lol.
having said that, i'm the one losing weight because i'm the one that used to eat too much. so i can't expect her to change just to make me feel better about myself. :ohwell:0 -
augghhhh... and I thought my hubby was the only sabotaging partner... he definitely likes thinner women... in fact, when I was 132lbs over 2 years ago he became a little jealous and over protective. He would see me looking at shoes and clothes and actually insist I get them... but right now at my current weight of 167lbs he doesn't say anything (which says a lot if you know what I mean) but not only that... he will buy me treats as a "surprise"... he will come home with krispy kreme donuts, chocolate covered strawberries, and just last night he got me a red velvet cup cake! Just the cup cake with a whole half a cup of cheese cream frosting was 490 cals! :grumble: Just like it was mentioned above... he doesn't shove it down my throat... but it's hard to see it and not want to eat it.. plus my upbringing was "don't waste food, eat it all, there are people starving around the world" so I hate to waste/throw out food. In fact, the red velvet cupcake is right next to me at the computer... with about 20% of it bitten off
NO STOP! THROW THAT ACCURSED DEMON OUT THE WINDOW NOW! LITERALLY!!
You are too cool and funny! :laugh:0 -
I have my Dad and my Nephew living with me. My Dad is a chocoholic and has tried several times to stop me seeing his stash, but I hear him rattling bags all the time and after a few days of trying they are back out in the open again. I also do the shopping and the cooking so have his foods around me all the time.
My Nephew, however is a model and even questions the healthy food I'm eating now, he keeps me on track to an extent, but does try to take over my food choices.
Becs0 -
Hi, I work partly as a weight loss consultant (although I struggle with my own weight), and think that loved ones try to sabotage you as they love you as you are, and worry about what will happen when you change. Maybe some reassurance and involvement for them may help. Hope this may be useful to someone. Barbara0
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Hi, I work partly as a weight loss consultant (although I struggle with my own weight), and think that loved ones try to sabotage you as they love you as you are, and worry about what will happen when you change. Maybe some reassurance and involvement for them may help. Hope this may be useful to someone. Barbara
Thank you Barbara... what you said makes a lot of sense to me :flowerforyou:0 -
augghhhh... and I thought my hubby was the only sabotaging partner... he definitely likes thinner women... in fact, when I was 132lbs over 2 years ago he became a little jealous and over protective. He would see me looking at shoes and clothes and actually insist I get them... but right now at my current weight of 167lbs he doesn't say anything (which says a lot if you know what I mean) but not only that... he will buy me treats as a "surprise"... he will come home with krispy kreme donuts, chocolate covered strawberries, and just last night he got me a red velvet cup cake! Just the cup cake with a whole half a cup of cheese cream frosting was 490 cals! :grumble: Just like it was mentioned above... he doesn't shove it down my throat... but it's hard to see it and not want to eat it.. plus my upbringing was "don't waste food, eat it all, there are people starving around the world" so I hate to waste/throw out food. In fact, the red velvet cupcake is right next to me at the computer... with about 20% of it bitten off
My husband is the same, with the not saying anything. He's right into gym himself, but made a comment a couple of weeks that has been playing on my mind. Even though he is supportive, I think it's only surface support eg, commenting and encouraging me on fb status updates etc. But when it comes down to it, he's holding back. His latest his complaining about me having my nose buried in my diet and exercise journal or on my phone doing my diary on here for the that day and the next. I also get the 'surprises' or asks what we're having for dinner, tell him, then get asked later on if I want him to pick up xyz for dinner.
I think it's insecurity on his behalf, and i don't play into it. If anything else it spurs me on to become better each day.0 -
This is a slight point of contention in my house.
My fiancé is Type 1 Diabetic, but is quite irresponsible when it comes to managing hypos - he'd rather have about a hundred kilos of emergency chocolate in the house than rely on Glucogel or healthier sugars, which is something I'm gradually trying to change by taking over most of the food shopping (we usually alternate on this or go together). He also does most of the cooking (he's far, far better at it than me), and while he's good at making healthy and nutritious meals on the whole, he has no concept whatsoever of portion control (I have to explain on a regular basis that what is right for a hungry 6 foot plus man is not necessarily appropriate for a small woman).
What's working for me is - serving my own portion if eating together (don't let someone else decide how much you're going to eat!), taking control of the grocery shopping where possible, and avoiding snacking off his plate (I'm terrible for this).
Good luck!0 -
My hubby recently went to Switzerland and came home with 5 1kg chocolate bars!!! Ummmmmmmmmm..... No! But he said I know you love it... True..., but .... you don't want to know what is left of the chocolate... NOTHING. :-(0
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I can relate to what most are saying on here. It is hard when you are the only person in the household that is trying to lose weight and opt for healthier eating. My two adult sons live with me and basically eat whatever junk food they can get their hands on....my bf is addicted to fast food/sweets. There is always an endless amount of non-healthy choices floating around my house at any given moment.
I'm fortunate enough to not be too tempted by these items, but what I need to make sure is that I have plenty of healthy snacks around in my view so when I'm sooo...hungry and want to grab something quick...I have the healthy options...bananas and barbecue rice cakes are my best friends.
I don't feel like they are doing this to sabotage my lifestyle change, they are just not on board with me. Maybe I'm being naive...and this is what I tell myself anyway0 -
A dozen or so years ago during my WW journey, I had the best support ever from my spouse. He had some weight to lose, but didn't want anything to do with joining with me for his health...but greatly supportive of my efforts. I respected his choice and he respected mine.
After 50 lbs. down at a nice healthy weight, several months later, a new wardrobe, compliments from all directions, and most importantly a renewed confidence, I'm sure now that he was second guessing the support. I never saw it at the time. Looking back to those days, he seemed to tire of my new found confidence and the compliments, although in public he would praise my efforts to friends and family. Outwardly, he has never possessed a jealous bone in his body. He's never been that way. We've been together a LONG time, think decades.
For me, WW was the best program ever for me, and I never blame the program but MYSELF for letting some of that weight come back now. Over the last few years, I underwent some physical health issues, a couple of key broken bones and became a couch potato of my own doing, so I need to get back on track now. I'm 20 lbs. up and escalating daily, stomach has turned into an apple, what I had for an *kitten* has disappeared, and I detest my jiggly flab, due to no exercise, so now it's time for me to take charge again and feel as good as I once did.
Now on my seriously delayed 2nd round, hopefully having the same support, I find an almost excessive amount of trigger foods coming through the door, and he loves cooking and all of a sudden he will LOAD, and I mean LOAD! my plate. I put my foot down there with a smile, as in "Great looking meal! I appreciate you fixing my plate and cooking that great meal, but I can manage." If I exercise with DVD's, he sometimes mocks my moves. I said "C'mon, YOU can try this!", while I smile.
You know what? I am still plugging away, and I can't let his shift in attitude sabotage my efforts. I am not posting this for any advice whatsoever, but more in being aware of the psychological effects this can sometimes have around the people we love. Some are supportive (been there) and some are not (going there I think). I'm pretty sure he prefers me heavy and (un) comfortable, like he is and he doesn't want to see that outward confidence return.
If you have a problem with it? That's not my problem. I am determined and I will do this! I will fix my own plate, I will do exercises the best I can do as I see fit (pun intended) and I may just take all those chips and chocolate and shove them in the pantry way to the back. You can knock your socks off eating all of that, hon, but this girl is taking charge again, whether you like it or not! And if you care to join me? I would love this! If not, that's your decision and I respect that. Just respect me and my decision to become healthy again.0 -
That is so familiar. I told my partner on the evening her brought home the lethal pecan bar "You could not hurt me more." He has not done it again. Eventually I will have the will power to see that it just is not worth it, and I will not eat it. I don't want to fall into a thing of blaming others.0
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Hi, I work partly as a weight loss consultant (although I struggle with my own weight), and think that loved ones try to sabotage you as they love you as you are, and worry about what will happen when you change. Maybe some reassurance and involvement for them may help. Hope this may be useful to someone. Barbara
Good point. I think it is important to keep the dialogue going, mention that we want to be healthy to stay fit together, and that I understand he thinks of it as a kindness. But I was also really clear that his behavior really hurt! Thanks Barbara.0 -
Sit him down and have a proper conversation with him. My husband used to be like this, but I sat him down and spoke to him about how much I need his support, how important it really is to me etc. My willpower has caved a few times along the way, and he never criticises if I do indulge, but similarly he no never buys me 'bad' food without asking. I think he has the balance just right, but it isn't easy to achieve and I think it helps if you are really clear about what you need
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