New Found Confidence?

lisasch67

I joined My Fitness Pal last August and haven't been active in the online community at all. Recently, I've been reading some posts and find them so inspiring that I've decided to reach out with a very personal issue that I've been struggling with for the last few months.

Like many of the stories I've read on the message boards, my weight loss journey has been up and down my whole life, and thanks to a few key downers in my early years it's been an embarrassing struggle that I've kept to myself, which makes it lonely on top of the general struggle. To give a little background I spent most of my childhood being over weight and fluctuated between 180 - 200 during my high school years (I'm 5'6"). I was picked on, called names, ... the usual. In early college I ballooned up to my heaviest: 212lbs. I tried to make a change then, but it wasn't a sustainable change. I plateaued at 190 for a few years. Then I tried the Atkins diet and got down to 165, but then I gained that all back and then some. In December of 2008 I decided it was time to change my life. Three weeks before Christmas I joined Weight Watchers, and at my first meeting I weighed in at an even 200 lbs.

It's been 3 years, 4 months, and 15 days since that day. I weigh 157 lbs. I'm 43 lbs lighter, I've lost inches all over and I fit in the pants smaller than I wore in 8th grade. People have really started to notice lately. They tell me I look so great and healthy. Someone even told me I was tiny the other day! No one has ever described me as tiny. But I just feel so weird when someone notices.

I have such little confidence... despite working out and changing my lifestyle, I just feel awkward and even more embarrassed when someone pays me a complement, because I know they're staring at my body. It's like my confidence hasn't caught up with my weight loss. This journey has been slow and one would think I'd adjust since it's been a process of years. But I just feel weird. I think it's because I've been on my own with this for a while (I quit WW for financial reasons in 2009). Outside of my boyfriend, I don't have much support. It's gotten to the point where shopping is worse than when I was heavier and I avoid staring in the mirror... I am not sure what to do... just keep working out?

Has anyone else struggled with confidence matching their weight loss? How do you deal with it? I am sure that it's something that will fade over time, but it's been a few years. How do I learn to accept and feel good about the complements?

Also, sorry this got so long, so if you've made it this far, thanks so much for reading!

HumbleMama2

Thanks for your story! I am in the same spot! I struggled with my weight since being a child as well. Ever since having my daughters, I have stuggled to lose weight. Right after having my 2nd daughter almost a year ago, I weighed about 210. I now weigh about 182. I would love to lose another 40lbs, but it is hard especially when I don't have the time to go to the gym. But I am trying to make time now. I haven't really learned to cope with it all, I still beat myself up about it and I hate going shopping cuz that small gleam of hope that maybe I lost enough to get into a smaller size, gets crushed when I can't even button them up. But that's what this site is here for, for motivation and support.

scribb

Thank you for sharing.

I know how hard it is. It took me years to get comfortable. You are right that it is hard when someone tells you how you look and also when they don't.

I found that the best way to get over it is to start to feel comfortable around someone. It can be someone close, but not your boyfriend. Maybe your mom sister etc. Someone that will give you honest feedback. You can always start off slow maybe take someone shopping with you and have them see you in your new outfits. Once you are comfortable with that, maybe take the same person in with you when you go shopping for a swim suit. The more you do this the better you will feel about yourself.

I know it helped me.

yoovie

Its the same for me. Losing all my weight even gave a serious blow to my confidence and Ive had to slowly build myself back up so that I feel I deserve my own body now- how back asswards is that?

THe best way I learned to build my confidence (cause mantras in the mirror dont work for me) is to prove that Im awesome to myself by doing the awesome things that I love. And everything I DO something fun and amazing and interesting... my confidence gets a boost- because its authentic. That kind of happiness is real and substantial

I hope you dont mind if i send a friend request?

lisasch67

Thanks so much for the support everyone!! It's so great to know that complete strangers have got my back. I've just been struggling with the lack of a community like this... I'll keep on pushing through.

roachhaley

Yeah, Ive lost 25 pounds and have about 15 to go. I weigh 129 now at 5'3". Its hard when hardly anybody notices (had to mention id lost weight to my boyfriend about 10 times). I dont go outdoors anymore because i feel like people are staring at me thinking "fatass".

I know I have issues that maybe some of you are lucky enough not to have, but I'm really concerned that I'm going to get to my goal weight and still feel fat and ugly.