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how do I let the drama go?

TheMissingSock
TheMissingSock Posts: 89
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
Hello everyone - i need some advice. i'll try to make it short:

7 years ago, i got pregnant with my son. total accident, bad timing, my husband(Mike) was still legally married to his ex at the time. Mike's brother freaked out on us, told me to get an abortion, etc.

did i mention that the brother was one of my best friends who introduced me to Mike? yeah. how's that for loyalty.

the brother spun a great web of me being the devil to their parents too, so that relationship was off to a rocky start.

things have gotten much better with the parents, as we all sat down a year later and hashed things out.

flash forward to today, i receive an email from the brother with an apology (that in my opinion was somewhat vague).

This is obviously the short version; the betrayal of a friend was horrific and that was probably the darkest part of my life. luckily Mike stood by me and today things are much better.

Mike met his brother for lunch earlier this week and has said that he seems to be much more emotionally mature and was sincere in his apology to him.

but it's not like there is a switch that I can throw that says "ok, you are sorry, now we are cool." He has offered to meet in person to talk about "misunderstandings" and such, but i'm not sure i can even be in the same room as him.

how can i get past this for the sake of my extended family?

Replies

  • avalonms
    avalonms Posts: 2,468 Member
    You can't just put the genie back into the bottle. Time heals all wounds, and trust is earned one day at a time.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    You've probably spent many years being {understandably} hurt/betrayed by him.

    Just because he regrets how he treated you, you don't have to immediately forgive/forget.

    Take some time and write down how you feel about what he did and when you're ready then have the discussion with him. But wait until you have a open mind/heart to really hear what he has to say and then decide whether or not you want to forgive him. :flowerforyou:

    Good luck! :smile:
  • thanks for the reassurance.

    but now I feel like the *kitten* that's keeping the family apart because I just can't move on yet. (their mother visits/spends time with us separately)
This discussion has been closed.