Recovering Bulimic..

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pkgirrl
pkgirrl Posts: 587
in Introduce Yourself
Hi everyone!

So I'm not terribly new to MFP, although, I've never been really active. I'm almost 19 and I've struggled on and off with eating disorders, technically EDNOS, but more or less bulimia, with emotional eating phases, in lay man's terms, since i was about 14 years old. I think it started as a control thing, when I moved in with my stepmother, she pretty much dictated my life. All I could control was how much I ate, how much I exercised, and the numbers on the scale. I started losing really fast, but then my parents caught on and made me eat with them. ( I realize my thinking at the time was seriously off, but even now I know they over eat, big time) I couldn't stand the guilt after eating with them, I felt like they had taken my control away, so I started purging. Since then I've gone through several cycles of recovery and relapse, but this time, I'm trying to give it up for good.

I'm trying to recover and get better and get on with my life, because I want to for me, not because anyone's making me.

I currently live with my grandparents, and will be leaving to go to university next fall, where I will be living on my own. I realize this is probably the place that will make or break my future, and I don't want an eating disorder taking priority while I'm there.

I've been trying really hard to eat properly, using this site as a guideline. I do find it helps a bit, and I am still trying to lose, but I want to do it the healthy way. I still find it really difficult to eat 1200cal a day, and am currently only eating 600-800cal, which I realize is under, but my first goal is to quit purging. Once I feel comfortable with that, I am going to start eating more, but I know if I do right now, I'll probably have some issues lol.

Anywho. Sorry that was long. That's me and my diet history in a nutshell. I'd love to meet some new friends on here, and find a support buddy even, especially if there's anyone around who sort of knows where I'm coming from. Happy slimming!

Replies

  • vanimami
    vanimami Posts: 433 Member
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    Welcome! I've only been on here for less than a week and I feel like I'm making tremendous strides in taking care of myself and losing weight. I'm happy that you are taking a healthier approach to eating. :flowerforyou:
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
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    Welcome and good luck to you! :flowerforyou:

    Are you working with a ED clinic now? :flowerforyou:
  • pkgirrl
    pkgirrl Posts: 587
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    I've been in treatment twice, but only when my weight's got really low. Once while I lived with my parents, and once when my boyfriend made me. the second time was more just therapy though, to try and help me deal with the control thing. It still freaks me out a bit, but then i remind myself you guys all eat healthy, and your either still losing or you already look fab, so it helps a lot :)

    and vanimami, congrats on losing 3lbs already!
  • linz1125
    linz1125 Posts: 441 Member
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    Congratluations on taking the steps to be healthy. I am sure it is so hard to break those habits.

    You might want to contact the university and see if they offer counseling to their students so someone there can help you through the transition to university life. It was a big help to me sometimes just being able to talk to someone there. Best of all it was FREE! But I would just contact the student health center and see what options they offer.

    Best of luck in your studies and your health!
  • pkgirrl
    pkgirrl Posts: 587
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    Thanks linz1125!
    I never thought of that, but that is really good advice.

    .. reformed carbaholic, cute :P
  • snarf1234
    snarf1234 Posts: 19
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    Okay, first... as you've learned in treatment... your metbabolism is whacked with the purging and restricted calories. SO... take baby steps in upping your calories and getting them to about 1200 a day. It will get your body out of starvation mode and start getting your body burning more calories a day. Easier said than done, I know. Start slowly adding the calories, even if just by 100 a day so that you can get past the guilt of consuming the food and constantly remind yourself that your body requires this food to be healthy and to lose weight. In therapy they will have you consume a ton of calories right off the bat and I think that is so hard as you don't have the chance to get past the food guilt and accept the increase in calories slowly. But honestly... it will take some time to take weight off until your body gets its normal metabolism working again - which can take several weeks. Try to be patient with yourself and your body. Hang in there girl...
  • MOMOFTWO29
    MOMOFTWO29 Posts: 8,276 Member
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    welcome :flowerforyou:
  • Eryn47
    Eryn47 Posts: 34
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    I am also a recovered Bulimic, and it's a long road, but so rewarding when you get yourself on track. I have been recovered now for almost 3 years, and I'm still learning! The only advice I could give is make your recovery about health not weight. You have plenty of time to worry about a scale, and your life is more important. Good luck and WELCOME!:smile:
  • snarf1234
    snarf1234 Posts: 19
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    Great job on your recovery Eryn! :flowerforyou:

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