Loss of weight = Loss of Friends?

mem50

Noticed something the other day. Well, actually awhile back. Has anyone else had this happen?

When I was fat I had friends. Quite a few actually. Now that I am at my healthy weight my "friends" have disappeared. I don't believe I have changed that much.....other then not going out and snarffing down empty calories.

I don't go on and on about my diet and how well I believe I have done. I still have my old interests. I still like to shop and have fun. I still like to go out and eat, just more careful about it.

I guess I am just a little miffed about this. Then again.....should I be? I need to locate some new friends :laugh:

Kendrawinn

Maybe you should sit down and have a talk with them.
But if it were me I would just get new friends... :-)

130annie

that is very sad Mem50.....I guess your friends feel somewhat threatened by you.....Yes....get out there and make yourself some new pals

mem50

Maybe you should sit down and have a talk with them.
But if it were me I would just get new friends... :-)

I would if they would answer the phone!

Shirley61

You have done fantastic over the years I have been here.:drinker:
You are a role model for all your hard work and efforts.
I'd confront them and say what the hell?
This didn't come with sitting on the couch and eating chips.
This was hard work and dedication for a healthier me.
I say get new friends if they can't handle it. They should be
proud of you not criticizing you. :grumble:

Job well done girlfriend!!

crise40g

Well, friendship is a two way street. Have you changed besides your weight? Showing off your new body more? Maybe they don't know how to handle your new found confidence. Just saying. Gotta talk. Nobody can read minds.

Keep up the good work though.

jaydubbayu

I think your presence around them just reminds them of how poorly they've done as far as being healthy, and they're avoiding you because of it, basically. It's no fault of your own, but their inability to take care of themselves, and being guilty, rather than proactive, about their health.

Kayley

My friends and I drifted once we went off to college, but we did meet up once after 4-5 months. I was 40+ pounds lighter since we last saw each other and they never said a word about it. In fact, their mother was the only one shocked at my appearance and commented about how well I've done for myself. Um, so yeah we never saw each other again and that was 3 years ago! :noway:

mem50

Well, friendship is a two way street. Have you changed besides your weight? Showing off your new body more? Maybe they don't know how to handle your new found confidence. Just saying. Gotta talk. Nobody can read minds.

Keep up the good work though.

Interesting point......Perhaps I do "show" off a little but not intentionally. I know my confidence level has increased by 100+%. I like my skinny jeans. I like being able to tuck my shirts in. Still, I feel that I am still the same crazy, fun loving person I always have been.

I've tried talking but if they don't pick up the phone or call back....pretty darn hard.

ElizabethRoad

Are these friends overweight? Maybe they're uncomfortable with your new size. Did your hanging out time usually involve food? Maybe they feel you wouldn't be interested, or the way you eat now makes them feel bad about how they're eating.

Or maybe they're just bad people. Whatever the reason, I think if you're at the point where they won't even take your calls, it's time to move on and make some new friends, unfortunately.

mem50

Are these friends overweight? Maybe they're uncomfortable with your new size. Did your hanging out time usually involve food? Maybe they feel you wouldn't be interested, or the way you eat now makes them feel bad about how they're eating.

Or maybe they're just bad people. Whatever the reason, I think if you're at the point where they won't even take your calls, it's time to move on and make some new friends, unfortunately.

My "friend" of 20 plus years has always been fit. That was the first one to bail. We went to malls, parks, casinos and lunches. We were like sisters, so I thought.

The rest of them? One is. She's my cousin also and looks like I did when I started. The rest.....yes they could stand to lose 15, 20 lbs.

I accepted them all as is......I could never judge them about the way they are since I was waaaay worse.

So I guess it is time to try and find some new buddies. It's harder for me now as I am older and not socially active.