When are you due?! Uh... I'm not pregnant.

MaryBowen27
MaryBowen27 Posts: 132
in Motivation and Support
anyone else have this horribly awkward moment? Once I work I booked an appointment for a client a few months out. When she was leaving she says, 'see you in a few months! You'll be bigger then!' At first I blankly stared then I was horrified to realize she thought I was pregnant. I'm not sure who felt worse, her or me, but it was so embarrassing, especially because at that point I had just LOST 20 lbs.

Replies

  • holycabbage
    holycabbage Posts: 8
    this just happened to me a couple of weeks ago! someone on the bus told me their wife was due soon and asked how far along i was. it took a couple of moments for my brain to put everything together, but when it did... so awkward! i actually ended up telling him i was 4 months pregnant because i was so ashamed :(
  • MantraMommy
    MantraMommy Posts: 22
    .Yeah, people should never broach the subject of pregnancy with a stranger.

    The worst case of this happened when I was waiting tables and at that time, a size 10. A man cupped by belly with his hand and asked when I was due. I was mortified and refused to wait on him and his wife.

    Since then, I've been asked if I am pregnant again (2yr and 4 yr old) and I simply say, "Not likey, I had a tubal ligation" :-)
  • munchlax65
    munchlax65 Posts: 31
    Its happened to me a few times, it makes me feel terrible! Once I was at a family barbeque and my uncle prodded my belly and said "you're not pregnant are you?!" and last week I was out for a drink with workmates and I ordered a lemonade and someone said it again (although he afterwards said it was cause I was drinking lemonade and not cause I looked it, but it still hurt!) I carry a lot of weight on my belly and even when I was slimmer I've always had a pot belly. It really hurts when people ask the question, its so rude!
  • robust1
    robust1 Posts: 1
    That happened to me at a kids' music class. We were going around introducing ourselves, our toddlers & announcing how old they were. After I tell them my name & my son's the instructor announces- in front of everyone- "And expecting another I see!" Me: "No. Just fat, actually." She couldn't look at me for the rest of the class!



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  • family_girl2626
    family_girl2626 Posts: 46
    My children are 21-18-16-12 and at 41 I am asked when I am due, or if I am pregnant. It is heartbreaking and humiliating. I have gotten to the point where I just say it like it is NO I AM PREGNANT or I have said this is the weight I have left from my pregnancy of my 4 children. I try to make a joke of it. People feel terrible (as they should) but it my self image takes a big hit every time. Now that I am losing weight I really hope to not hear that anymore.
  • LadyRush
    LadyRush Posts: 95 Member
    My kid was four and just figured out babies grown in bellies... so he looked at mine and asked me if I had baby in there too! I just said no, my belly is just fat. No hard feelings either. I tell the kids people come in all shapes and sizes, including me!
  • z149189
    z149189 Posts: 57
    The worst is when a small child says to you "Do you have a baby in your belly?" I've had that happen to me. It's tough because, even though it hurts, you can't really be angry with a little one, chances are they just don't know any better.
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
    Yes, it happened to me a few years ago after I just lost 20 pounds. I carry most of my weight in my midsection, BUT A. pregnant bellies are hard and round, not soft and flabby, and B. Mind your own damn business!

    My husband and I were coming home and our stupid neighbor was sitting outside and she said, you haven't had that baby yet? I just stared at her was like, uh, I'm not pregnant. She was like oh, I could have sworn someone said you were, they must have meant that other gal.

    Nice try, but it wouldn't matter what you thought someone said, you're looking right at me so obviously you think I am pregnant. Whats worse is by saying "you haven't had that baby yet" you're implying that I look big enough to deliver any day now. For what it's worth, it really devastated me because I knew I had a tummy, but there is NO way I looked 9 months pregnant.

    I really wish people would shut their mouths, even if they 110% positive someone is pregnant because they have no idea what the woman's situation is. What if she isn't happy about the pregnancy, does she want to discuss it with every stranger who thinks she should be overjoyed? What if she already had the baby and still has the tummy, what if she lost the baby late term and still has the tummy......

    I'm trying to get pregnant right now, so I think when I am pregnant and showing that is how I will take out any bad moods...if people comment I'll just stare at them and say no I'm not pregnant I'm just really fat. Maybe then people will think twice about making such personal comments to complete strangers.
  • Bridget28152723
    Bridget28152723 Posts: 372 Member
    People are so rude. I dont ever assume someones pregnant because they have a belly-just in case , but Ive had 4 kids & I know what fat looks like and what a baby looks like. If someone were to ask me if Im pregnant and I wasnt I would say no and probably cry in my car like a big baby! I like how the one poster said she was 4 months pregnant, quick thinking! My 6 yr. old said "mommy you look like you have another baby in your tummy, haha"--I was mortified, but she was right~
  • BrionyTallis
    BrionyTallis Posts: 90 Member
    I have not asked any one this question because I've never wanted to embarrass anyone else or my self by asking this question when the woman wasn't pregnant. However, I have observed it. And I can tell that the person asking is embarrassed as well. Probably not as embarrassed or heartbroken as the woman on the receiving end I'd bet but still upset with themselves nonetheless. So I have a question, what would you want this person to say to you in way of an apology? Or would you want an apology at all?

    I guess someone would ask me that question if I were younger as I carry a lot of my extra weight in my midsection. However, I've never have been asked.
  • MaryBowen27
    MaryBowen27 Posts: 132
    So I have a question, what would you want this person to say to you in way of an apology? Or would you want an apology at all?

    The woman who said it to me did apologize, profusely and awkwardly lingered trying to fix things. It did get funny when he said 'oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, can I like, buy you ice cream or something?' (there's an amazing ice cream shop a few doors down) at that point I just laughed and said 'you just thought I was pregnant so ice cream is probably the last thing I need!'

    I don't think anyone in the situation intends to be mean, but simultaneously I do think it's a social blunder to make any comments to women in regards to pregnancy or lack there of, if you don't know their situation.
  • lkm111
    lkm111 Posts: 629 Member
    I heard a comedienne say once (cannot remember who it was) say, "Never ask any woman if she is pregnant unless you see a baby coming out of her!" :smile:

    That is very good advice!
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    I heard a comedienne say once (cannot remember who it was) say, "Never ask any woman if she is pregnant unless you see a baby coming out of her!" :smile:

    That is very good advice!
    I don't know, I'm pretty sure that's a dangerously stupid thing to say to a woman in labor! At least make sure to take away anything she might pick up and hurl at you first!
  • rextcat
    rextcat Posts: 1,408 Member
    :bigsmile: and that is the hole reason i dint say nothing to my neighbor, until she brought the baby home....
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    No. But when I was pregnant, I got so annoyed with questions and random strangers touching me that I started telling people I wasn't pregnant and it was a tumor.
  • Kaylyn221
    Kaylyn221 Posts: 123
    People can be rude sometimes, whether they mean to be or not... it all boils down to common sense. I would never assume let alone ask... if someone is pregnant.

    I have never had it said to me but when I was pregnant with my son, I was in the grocery store.. There was a lady next to me, she looked over at me and was all like 'Ooooh wow, due any day now huh!?'... I just kind of half smiled and said "Uh, no.....", then she goes on to say "Oh it must be twins then!".

    Ya, um... I was only like 16 weeks pregnant with one child, not twins.

    So it happens on both sides. The rude comments to those assuming someone is pregnant when they are not and the comments to those who are pregnant but aren't AS pregnant as that person thinks they are.
  • DebbieMc3
    DebbieMc3 Posts: 289 Member
    A few months ago, while at a local science museum..... I was asking about this wind chamber thing that they have. It stimulates 100 mph wind.
    The girl looked at me and said, "Your not pregnant are you?"
    I said no.
    With that, she said "oh don't worry about it. my aunt carries all of her weight in her stomach too"

    Really?????? Are you kidding me????? Once I said no, don't continue to talk about my fat stomach you dumb *kitten*!!!!!
  • BigRich822
    BigRich822 Posts: 681
    I have witnessed my brother-in-law do this and it was funny. Sorry to those who it has happened to but to see it from that angle it was!

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