Told you are fat all your life.

Katanthus
Katanthus Posts: 346 Member
edited December 2024 in Chit-Chat
All my life, I have been told I was "fat", by my MOTHER. Yes, the one person who should love you unconditionally, told me that I was fat, despite not actually being overweight. I am 5' 2", and up until a few years ago, I was 36-24-36, and weighed around 119 - 124, apart from a time when I was so depressed, I dropped to 97lb at the age of 23. Then, I got told I was too thin, by my mother. I then realized nothing would ever please her, I would never be good enough. A number of years back, I went back home to visit my family, and the first thing my mother said... you guessed it.."you're so fat". NOT I missed you, or it is nice to see you. No. I told her "I love you, but I am not prepared to put up with this abuse any longer" I turned around, and flew back to the US. I got home feeling like THE worst daughter in the world.

I was wandering around a book store, and found this book: "Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life" by Susan Forward. I bought it, and spent the rest of the day reading it. As I was reading, I kept nodding my head, and saying to my partner "listen to this, does this sound familiar?". I found a book that did not tell you to "forgive and forget", because HOW can you forgive someone who will repeat the pattern of abuse? Some people will say it isn't abuse, but it is. Emotional abuse stays with you, pretty much your whole life. After reading the book, I no longer felt like a bad daughter, but I found out, my actions were valid.

I ate like a bird, no chips, candy, chocolate, fried food, or soda, and I gained weight...a lot of weight. I actually eat more now, than I did before I started on MFP.

Basically, all I wanted to say, was.. if there are any young people out there, that have been told you are "fat", don't believe you have to be stick thin to be happy. Get real support, from TRUSTED people... the school nurse, your family doctor or nurse, a family member who believes in you, even a teacher or school counselor. I wish you all the best, be yourself... have fun, and remember... there is always one person out there who believes in you. It WILL get better.

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