Cleanses (Let me give you a cool recipe, flower children)

chris1816

So I can tell after my first day of perusing the forums that the title of this post alone will garner an absurd amount of attention. First off, no I do not believe in cleanses. To quote someone else on these forums, mixing lemon, water, syrup, cayenne pepper, and then casting a spell over it to deem it officially "Satan's Piss" will not "cleanse" toxins from your body, accelerate weight loss anymore than if you were already starving yourself, or do anything terribly good for you. If you are eating healthy, being active and don't have cancer of some kind your liver and kidneys do a pretty awesome job of cleansing your body (you know, since they are f*cking designed to do that).

The premise behind cleanses in most cases is straight forward though, it's just never spelled out. Put healthy crap in your body and you will feel better. Unfortunately in most cases it preys on people's ignorance, gullibility, to sell you an equally processed bottle of crap for more than the locals from the magical land where this schlock comes from would dare to pay (read: Acai).

In my weight loss journey and general en-devour to be less of a unhealthy fat *kitten* I have become a huge fan of smoothies, especially really nutritious ones that will give me energy and fill me up during the day. I work 12 hour shifts at an office in a high stress job where everyone likes to freak out and scream a lot. This doesn't quite blow my hair back most days.

So, let me shut up and tell you what I just made for breakfast:

Blend this *kitten* up btw.

Navitas Naturals - Chia Powder, 3 Tbsp (15 g) 80 6 4 4 6
Nature's Peak Antioxidant Blend - Frozen Fuit From Costco, 1 cup 70 17 0 1 4
Flax Usa - All Natural Pre-Ground Cold Milled Golden Flax Seed Omega 3, 2 T. (13g) 70 4 5 2 3
North Dallas Honey Co. - Honey, 1 Tbsp. 60 17 0 0 0
Blue Diamond - Almond Breeze Almond Milk - Unsweetened - Vanilla, 2 cup (240mL) 80 4 7 2 2
Strawberries - Raw, 10 medium (1-1/4" dia) 38 9 0 1 2
Navitas Naturals - Raw Cacao Powder, 2 tbs-(14g) 48 7 1 2 3
Navitas Naturals - Raw Hemp Protein Powder, 3 Tbsp 120 6 4 16 5

TOTALS (Calories/Carbs/Fat/Protein/Fiber) 566 70 21 28 25

You read that right ladies, good amount of carbs for energy in the morning (yes you need carbs, unless you enjoy excessive ketones in your kidneys), all healthy fats (makes your f*cking skin pretty btw), good chunk of protein and almost more fiber than most people give themselves a chance to eat in a day. You will feel full, you will be satisified, and it is tons better than any cleanse.

Besides that much fiber in a day will cleanse you in a much different, more glorious way. Also, with this you will get all your Vitamin C, Vitamin A, and a good chunk of potassium for the day.

This is more or less what I eat most mornings...now for me, my calorie goal is high (I r a fatty) but I am still losing even as I eat it because its balanced, healthy, vegan and vegetarian friendly etc AND AT THE END OF THE DAY I AM STAYING WITHIN MY CALORIES. Now when I say more or less I need to make a huge point with this.

It tastes like the color brown.

Not *kitten*, but what your brain would imagine the color brown to taste like; very earthy.

Most days instead of the hemp powder I use some vanilla flavored whey (Crytosport Whey from Costco) instead of the hemp powder; more protein, less micro nutrients than the hemp, but it is the magical difference between tasting brown and tasting like liquefied unicorn horn. All of this stuff can be otherwise bought on Amazon mostly, or substituted with similar items if your Costco does not sell the same stuff.

Other days I change it up, and sometimes I split it up into two meals because its a rather large serving. If you are a dainty little girl or your calorie goals are way different than mine this may be too much in one sitting.

Alright I got work to do. Later folks.

JerseyGirl4eva

This is one hilarious post I will be trying this recipe however I wish it would taste a bit more like unicorn horn. :laugh: thanks so much for sharing.

chris1816

Yeah when using the vanilla whey the taste is pretty damn good, but I'm not overly concerned with the taste. It's fuel as far as I am concerned.

mbajrami

::thumbs up::