Excess weight keeping you from seeing friends / doing things

KahalaGal

Hello.
I have a confession. I have actually avoided events, trips, massages, etc. since I am so ashamed and embarrassed of my excess weight. Does anyone else avoid life b/c of their excess weight?

p.s. I am currently working on my self esteem and know that is the underlying issue

just wanted to know if any of you are also avoiding events b/c of the weight?

pljohnson001

I can relate. I lost 100+ pounds (twice) and over the course of 20 years managed to gain it all back twice. I continually curb my activities to avoid people who knew me in one of my "thin" phases although I've never admitted that before. Shame is powerful, but not powerful enough to get me to stop overeating, I guess.

sehrler

oh definitely. My ticker says 22 lbs but I originally lost 90+ lbs the first time (3 years ago, happy relationship weight came on in the form of 35.5 lbs so I'm working on dropping that plus the rest to goal, I have about 30-40 to go). When I was at my heaviest I totally ditched out of my 20 year HS reunion, now I regret that--but I understand why I did it. I felt so ashamed of myself that I just couldn't show up. Thankfully I would never let that happen again and I'm also on track again.

fatmumslim22

I just went to a party last weekend where I saw people I hadn't seen in over 10 years...and I felt so embarrassed. I just wanted to hide from everyone. And the reason was because I've gained so much weight. I felt like I could see the shock in people's faces - as the last time they saw me I was 40 pounds lighter.

I had a hard time keeping conversations going because I would just watch their eyes as they darted across my body (probably wondering if I was pregnant, etc.). I felt so ashamed.

It was awful. And yes, I often avoid going places where I might run into people who knew me in my "normal" days. Especially when I'm back home visiting my parents, etc. I would never want to run into anyone I knew in highschool, etc.

moeviegrl

I've never avoided going out with people or to parties because of my weight. But I've always been heavy so I've never had a thin before time. That said, I know I am who I am and you can take me as I am or not but you're not going to ruin my good time by it. Plus, my friends and SO love me and enjoying being around me no matter what size I am so I don't worry about it.

But I have stopped myself from doing some things because of my weight. Like canoeing, kayatching, rock climbing, etc. I felt that I wouldn't physically be able to do it or the equipment necessary to do the activity wouldn't be able to hold my weight. Their have been times I haven't done something because I knew I would like silly in the outfit required to do it (like when I was in a tap class and we had to wear a halter top that showed off our bellies and tight little shorts...all in sequins.) Minus the clothing thing, I think my reasons for not doing something are good ones. Safety first, you know? But that doesn't mean I don't plan on doing some these things in the future, once I am under 200lbs.

Yana150

A friend pointed this out to me.

I am still a bit uncomfortable going places where I know there will be people who haven't seen me for a long time, but I've tried making more of an effort to see friends and even loved ones more often. While I've always been overweight, I sometimes feel like people look at me with a mix of pity and disgust. Pity because I haven't lost weight since they'd last seen me, and disgust that I've gained weight since we last saw one another.