Mind Set - Does it work for or against you?

aj_31

I was talking with my husband last night and he was telling how proud he is of me and how great I look and so on. He grabbed my upper thigh and I said - what are you trying to grab my fat. He looked at me and got all upset because he says I'm not fat and I need to realize that. He thinks that I negative talk myself too much in my head and to him and that maybe its working against me in my weight loss. I've been at a stand still for awhile. I started lifting and gained weight and now I'm trying to find the right balance of net calories to eat based on all the talk of BMR and TDEE.

Basically - My "skinny" weight has become the new "fat" weight for me and I'm not happy with where I am and I want to weigh less or lose more inches. I'm losing inches but slowly - very slowly so it gets fraustrating.

So my question again is......Does anyone believe that your mind set can work for or against you in your weight loss journey?

aj_31

Bump

Anyone? Thoughts?

thistimeismytime

Honestly, for me I think my mindset is EVERYTHING!! I have had a life-long struggle with negative, self-defeating thoughts. I have always been my own worst critic, and I'm determined to stop that. I look back at pictures where I weighed 125 lbs (I'm 5' 7" tall), and I thought I was fat at the time. NO MORE!! This time, I'm enjoying my body, my strength, my abilities. Life is too short to beat yourself up. I tell myself the things I'd tell my friends.."You're strong, you're healthy, you're beautiful...You're a badass." You don't have to be perfect to be all those things. How much is it gonna suck if we all reach our goal weights and are still looking in the mirror nit-picking every little thing? I refuse to do that anymore, and I'm a lot happier. I had to make a conscious decision to fight back against negative thoughts, and I still do it every day, but it is possible. :flowerforyou:

mznisaelaine

I believe your mindset affects anything you do. The more positive I am the better my day seems to get.

The more I am down about the way I look, my weight, etc. I'm always going to be at a stand still because I'm so focused on what I see in the mirror now that I forget about what I'm going to look like in the future... I had to recognize this myself last night when I had a little down moment about my weight... But the more I'm determined, saying positive, I'm sure things will only get better

LoveActually

I agree with the above responses - mindset is everything. And I don't think that it's uncommon to accomplish one goal and then shoot for another. You say your "skinny" weight has become your fat weight. Instead of looking at it so negatively, look at it as "Damn, I'm the ****! I hit that goal and now I'm going to set a new one and kill that one too".

Plain and simple, men love confident women. Your hubby just wants you to see the success and beauty that he see's and he want's you to actually recognize it.

aj_31

Thanks ladies! You are right. Negative talk will only bring negative energy. I need to be more positive and I don't have to be perfect to be a bada$$! Thank you for helping me see that.

So yeah - I'm going to work on setting a new goal and no more thinking the my skinny weight is my new fat.

Thanks!!

QUEENPINKSPARKLE1965

Yes we have to get it togehter up stairs in order ot have it together down stairs..:drinker:

SexyCook

Yes....because your efforts come from your heart and mind....I to am guilty of that..it is easy to say that because you know where you want to be...Sounds like my guy when he grab some and I say fat..he is so annoyed...But just keep pushing...I figure everything happens for everyone in it's on time and balance...You will get there...and so will I...

littlepinkhearts

I believe mind set is everything. I've seen mine in action and out of action. Definately prefer IN action which means totally focused and set on my goals. If it's not there, then i'm not goin anywhere.

also, maybe you need some weight lifting if you aren't already

debussyschild

I've said similar things to my husband, but I really DO have fat where he was grabbing it. He thought it was funny to do that, I got pretty pissed! However, I realized he's just trying to show me he loves me no matter how I look. It's ME that needs to love ME no matter how I look, is what I keep telling myself. But... I'm not satisfied. So, what I tell myself is not that I'm fat, but that I want to improve and take my body to the limits. I'm not there yet, but if I keep my mindset positive and focused on my goals, I find that I stay motivated much longer.