Body image issues

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Rawrbyn
Rawrbyn Posts: 109 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have been super big for 10+ years. Before that, I was chunky, but not really big. My highest was 160lbs, before I got pregnant with my son. After that, I soared up to 220, then climbed to 290 over the course of 10 years. I realized how disgusting I was last May, and decided to change. I've lost 90lbs, putting me at 198. I'm not thin, by any means, but I'm not almost 300lbs anymore. I can't seem to get it into my head that I'm not huge. I spent so many years in denial about how big I am, that I'm stuck in this mindset that if I think I'm thin, I will just be in denial again. I constantly have people tell me that I'm not fat, but that I'm thick. I can't wrap my mind around that.

Is anyone else going through this?

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  • Rawrbyn
    Rawrbyn Posts: 109 Member
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    bump
  • pduckworth
    pduckworth Posts: 133
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    I have terrible body issues as well. I was always teased as a kid for my name (of all things) and for whatever reason, that really affected me. During middle school, I ate in an attempt to comfort myself and gained a whole bunch of weight. I refused to let people take pictures of me because I was so ashamed of it. Before entering high school, my parents bought me DDR and I played that game nonstop. Lost 30lbs. No joke. I made my high school's varsity swim team and was never a "top" swimmer. My coach would always ridicule me and some of the other swimmers did as well. Was a major kick to my self-esteem. Cue 5+ years later, I've gained back all of that weight AND more and I feel ever worse about myself. I don't let my boyfriend look at me, I always wear big clothes, and I'm ashamed to work out in public because I know my endurance is low. I just keep trying to remind myself that I lost weight before and I can do it again :) Nobody is ever perfect and I (we) shouldn't expect that of ourselves either!
  • zellagrrl
    zellagrrl Posts: 439
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    It took me a long time to figure out that I didn't need to shop in the Women's Plus section anymore... you'll get used to it though and start feeling more comfortable in your own skin :)
  • rehtaeh78
    rehtaeh78 Posts: 90
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    I feel your pain and I'm sorry :( I totally believe that weight loss isn't just a process of changing our bodies, but it's also a process of changing our minds. It still shocks me to see recent pictures of myself because I keep thinking I'm so much bigger than that (my highest was 280 and I'm right at the 200 mark now). It's hard. I think (hope) that once I get to my goal weight of 120 and stay there my mind will adjust and I'll get used to my new body.
  • Rawrbyn
    Rawrbyn Posts: 109 Member
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    I feel your pain and I'm sorry :( I totally believe that weight loss isn't just a process of changing our bodies, but it's also a process of changing our minds. It still shocks me to see recent pictures of myself because I keep thinking I'm so much bigger than that (my highest was 280 and I'm right at the 200 mark now). It's hard. I think (hope) that once I get to my goal weight of 120 and stay there my mind will adjust and I'll get used to my new body.

    I know!! My daughter took a picture of me the other day, and I just KNEW it would look horrible. It didn't, though! I was surprised at how thin my arms are, now. I just wish I could get past the thought that I'm huge and hideous.

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