Kissing Hints and Tips

hedwighigh

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for several months now and although we've kissed ... we don't make out (snog, play tonsil hockey, etc.) very often. I feel like I'm really awkward in this area. Cause although I've made out with a couple of guys before ... he's only made out with me and so he doesn't really vocalize what he does and doesn't like.

Me, being awkward, I could tell he was taking cues from me as to how far or how "not far" to go. But I have limited experience cause my ex-boyfriends had limited experience too. My first boyfriend liked a TON of tongue and my second boyfriend HATED tongue with a passion. In other words, I don't know how to use that muscle and I don't know where to put my hands.

Guys can put their hands (with permission) on your waist, butt, boobs, etc. There are a ton of places to grab ... but I feel so weird grabbing a guy's butt unless it's as a joke and we're no where near the area where I'll be grabbing anything in front of him (if you catch my drift). I'm usually the one taking the cues NOT the one in charge and I'm a bit self-conscious too.

Please give some tips cause I feel like I'm completely failing at this. I don't typically use tongue but I don't know if he likes it or not. He doesn't use tongue but I think that's because I don't and because he doesn't know how to use it either. He really just lets me take the lead to a certain extent and I don't know what to do with all that power and get awkward and nervous instead.

Please be kind. I'm not stupid, I just have limited experience and don't want to scare him off by going too far or too fast. It took a long time to get to this point ... I don't want to have to step back.

He doesn't give a whole lot of indication sounds either like signing, groaning, or moaning either.

hedwighigh

Come on, everyone always has an opinion here!

ProjectTae

I'm quite interested in the topic, my bf is a bad kisser, too aggressive (high school boys sigh)

hedwighigh

I'm quite interested in the topic, my bf is a bad kisser, too aggressive (high school boys sigh)

Sounds like we have opposite problems. lol. He'll get aggressive but only if I somehow indicate that I want it more aggressive.

dinosnopro

Ttopeka

You can run your hands through his hair, put them gently on the back of his head/neck, on his chest, lower back...I sometimes crack up laughing when I'm kissing my boyfriend when I realize what my hands are doing, just because I feel like they're ADD and all over the place. Luckily he doesn't mind (the laughing, or the hands) :P Just see what feels natural and comfortable and go from there.

As for tongue-action, I'd suggest try it with a bit of tongue...then back off to how you normally kiss...then maybe try to get a little more passionate, with tongue...see how he reacts...no one can tell you *how* to use it or to what extent, so just experiment and see what feels good for you guys. Since he doesn't give much indication, just try to keep track of whether or not he's pulling back or keeping up with you. If you feel him recoiling, give him a bit of space and slow down. If he seems to be keeping up, keep going.

If he's too aggressive, uses too much tongue, etc. just gently back off and try to lead him in the right direction. Close your mouth more so he can't shove it down your throat if you don't want him to, or go back to tongue-less kisses then slowly build up again, trying to keep a better rhythm.

If all else fails...talk to him about it? Awkward, yes, but couples need to chat about these things from time to time. If you're afraid about scaring him off by going too fast, sit him down and be like, "I'm interested in trying X, but I want to know how you're feeling about that." or "We don't make out very often, is there a reason for that? What can we do differently?"

Mcmilligen

^^^ Ahaha, dido!

Karalopolous

Why not try experimenting a lil with it? Like, so don't jam your tongue down his throat, but why not try using some tongue. Or.....you could actually bring it up in convo, just casually to see what he likes. Maybe don't phrase it like you did here, or say "so I notice you don't use your tongue much, why is that?" but you know, a more subtle version of that

Snow__White

communicate with your partner
and then go with the flow
its that simple

kaitlynn29

my advice is always to talk about it....
if you cant talk about it then dont dooo it.
or if you think you are the better kisser take control and teach him!

just do what makes you comfortable. if its hugging then just hug and make out.
i usually just rest my arms on his neck or like somebody said run your fingers through his hair.. (unless he hasn't showered... then its kinda gross and i wouldn't suggest that) it really depends on what you want to happen...

hedwighigh

I love the responses on here. Both funny and actual advice.

Being anonymous on the internet makes asking awkward questions less awkward.

sweetpotatofry

I hope this won't come across as super creepy but I really... enjoyed (? that is not the right word) the way you told your story.

There are a ton of places to grab ... but I feel so weird grabbing a guy's butt unless it's as a joke and we're no where near the area where I'll be grabbing anything in front of him (if you catch my drift). I'm usually the one taking the cues NOT the one in charge and I'm a bit self-conscious too.

Are you generally standing/sitting/horizontal when you guys kiss? It seems like being comfortable is a big issue for both of you right now, and that's easier if you're sitting or on his lap, especially the latter because it allows you to take control (even though you might be hesitant -- it seems like he kind of needs you to do that right now?) more easily. You could touch or cup his face, jaw, gently, so it's kind of assertive but not too much as to be intimidating.

The whole /no thing depends on the person, so it might be a good idea to "work up to it" like it seems you're already doing You could try kind of slipping it in (lol, talking about this makes me feel so sketch right now) and gauge his reaction? But you said he doesn't really make any sounds so you can't tell what he's thinking, right? In that case maybe you'll have to take the lead again and let him know how you feel by sighing into the kiss or whatever you want as you guys get more into it.

I once met a guy who kissed like a dog, it was like being drenched! So sometimes you have to train them :laugh: It's not like you have to be an expert or anything, but you guys just need to figure out what you both like and dislike and it does take a level of comfort and familiarity to get to that sometimes. Good luck!! Let us know how it goes.

ninerbuff

There's one place a male can be kissed and it doesn't matter how bad you are at it........................

hedwighigh

I hope this won't come across as super creepy but I really... enjoyed (? that is not the right word) the way you told your story.

There are a ton of places to grab ... but I feel so weird grabbing a guy's butt unless it's as a joke and we're no where near the area where I'll be grabbing anything in front of him (if you catch my drift). I'm usually the one taking the cues NOT the one in charge and I'm a bit self-conscious too.

Are you generally standing/sitting/horizontal when you guys kiss? It seems like being comfortable is a big issue for both of you right now, and that's easier if you're sitting or on his lap, especially the latter because it allows you to take control (even though you might be hesitant -- it seems like he kind of needs you to do that right now?) more easily. You could touch or cup his face, jaw, gently, so it's kind of assertive but not too much as to be intimidating.

The whole /no thing depends on the person, so it might be a good idea to "work up to it" like it seems you're already doing You could try kind of slipping it in (lol, talking about this makes me feel so sketch right now) and gauge his reaction? But you said he doesn't really make any sounds so you can't tell what he's thinking, right? In that case maybe you'll have to take the lead again and let him know how you feel by sighing into the kiss or whatever you want as you guys get more into it.

I once met a guy who kissed like a dog, it was like being drenched! So sometimes you have to train them :laugh: It's not like you have to be an expert or anything, but you guys just need to figure out what you both like and dislike and it does take a level of comfort and familiarity to get to that sometimes. Good luck!! Let us know how it goes.

Yea, we were standing. I think I might sit him down next time around. Should make things easier and take off pressure on worrying about where to put my hands too.... Ya know, since he'll be sitting and such. bahaha.

He's a guy, so I'm pretty sure he's more focused on my butt than my lips anyway but I'd love to "take his breath away" with my awesome kissing skillz.