Feeling out of place at the Gym

His_Kelly

At times, I just can't help but to feel out of place at the gym I go to.

I am usually one of the biggest people there and I always feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. Most of the women wear sport bras / spandex shorts :noway: and I come out of the locker room wearing long exercise pants and a t -shirt.

Today, I was on the treadmill, going at about 6 mph. Here I am, sweating and breathing hard when this girl gets on the treadmill along side of me and sets it about 2 mph faster than I was going. She made it seem so easy and I felt so embarassed.

I often feel very insecure about what all the other gym patrons are thinking of me.

How do you all deal with these feelings?

His_Kelly

At times, I just can't help but to feel out of place at the gym I go to.

I am usually one of the biggest people there and I always feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. Most of the women wear sport bras / spandex shorts :noway: and I come out of the locker room wearing long exercise pants and a t -shirt.

Today, I was on the treadmill, going at about 6 mph. Here I am, sweating and breathing hard when this girl gets on the treadmill along side of me and sets it about 2 mph faster than I was going. She made it seem so easy and I felt so embarassed.

I often feel very insecure about what all the other gym patrons are thinking of me.

How do you all deal with these feelings?

bricker06

i wish i had some advice for you. i work out at home. but congrats at getting out there. maybe just try to ignore it and remember as you get smaller you will be able to wear smaller work out clothes. keep up the good work dont let it get you down.

MiaEllie

Don't worry about what other people are thinking! It is sooooo much more important to be a healthy person no matter what it takes. Maybe try a different gym. I used to belong to a 24 hr. Fitness but then switched to a local independent all womens gym. I feel MUCH more comfortable and go more often and achieve more while I'm there. Good Luck!

lotusfromthemud

My grandma always told me that everyone is too busy worrying what other people will think about them to really judge you. I know when I go to the gym, I'm just worried about working out. I only occasionally notice that there are other people in the gym.

I guarantee you the girl that started next to you didn't just magically wake up and start doing that. She worked up to it, just like you eventually will. When I first started working out, there was a woman I referred to as "the gazelle", who was long and lean and made everything look like it was nothing. This was back in the day when I could only manage ten minutes on the treadmill. walking.

If your schedule allows, experiment with going to the gym at different times. You might find that the type of person varies.

It will get better. Soon you will be a regular gym rat, and feel totally comfortable there.

And, as my grandma also said, about what other people think, eff 'em. (that's the censored version. She was a salty lady.):flowerforyou:

kerilayne

I feel the same way when I go to the gym. The thing that I keep telling myself is that I need to be there more than anyone else does and when they give me a funny look, I smile back saying to myself...ha! you have probably been skinny all your life and I have to work at it which will make me feel better in the end when I do make my goal weight. I try not to let it get to me but I can tell you that it has helped me to push myself harder knowing that "they" are watching you.

Just to make ya'll laugh...last week I was on the treadmill going about 4 miles an hour and I looked down and noticed my shoe had came untied. Naturally I bent down to tie it, forgetting that I was on a treadmill and WHAM!! fell flat on my face. It was peak gym time so the place was packed. I thought I was going to die of embarrasment.!! Anyways, I got back on, finished my workout and didn't make eye contact with anyone on the way out. :laugh:

WillPillageYourVillageForFood

I know exactly how you feel, I too used to feel exceptionally self conscious at the gym. I dreaded going knowing that all the skinny girls would be there making exercising look like a breeze.:mad: Then one day I realized that I was not going to the gym to meet guys or impress anyone and at that point I just relaxed and worked out. I also realized that most likely no one was paying any attention to me and if they were I really didn't care what they thought. Hang in there and don't let the skinny minnies bother you. You can do it!:flowerforyou:

His_Kelly

Just to make ya'll laugh...last week I was on the treadmill going about 4 miles an hour and I looked down and noticed my shoe had came untied. Naturally I bent down to tie it, forgetting that I was on a treadmill and WHAM!! fell flat on my face. It was peak gym time so the place was packed. I thought I was going to die of embarrasment.!! Anyways, I got back on, finished my workout and didn't make eye contact with anyone on the way out. :laugh:

:laugh: :laugh: Oh You poor thing!

nikii14

Oh Boy, do I know that feeling!!

I went the other day and felt like I was on my death bed. A young girl gets next to me (mind you, I hated her as soon as I saw her because her body was AMAZING!:mad: ) and she is going strong (in her tiny little outfit) Meanwhile, Me, in my outfit I threw together.... Im not even sure if it matched......I'm on fire, dripping wet, waiting for them to peel me off of the floor or send in an ambulance for me. What a pretty sight I was ...let me tell you

There are alot of people that go to my gym that intimidate me because they are in better shape but, I know I am doing it for ME!! And I am doing myself alot more good (does that make sense??) at the gym than if I was sitting my hiney on the couch at home. I just mind my own buisiness and watch the TV and try not to look at everyone else around me. (But its not always easy) I think of it this way, I may look like crap at the gym, but I am doing it so I can eventually look better for myself, my husband and those I know.

You should congratulate yourself for even going to the gym.....That is something you should definately be proud of. Keep your head up and don't let others turn you away from acheiving your goal!!!:flowerforyou:

lotusfromthemud

Hey, I need to chime in again.

Don't assume that the girl next to you always had it that easy. I used to be one of the biggest girls in the gym. I literally worked my a** off to get to where I am today.

I had my first "judgement" experience at a party this past holiday. I said "no thankyou" to a piece of candy and the hostess said (and in a not nice way) "OH, you're so slender, why do you have to turn it down." It was everything I could do to remain polite. It was a real "a-ha" moment for me in how others see me, and what I used to believe about others. So, don't assume that folks who are smaller now were always that way.

We're all of us, every size and level, in this together.:flowerforyou:

denmother46

So, I dont go to a gym. But I do walk/run and bike around my neighborhood. You should see my fabulous outfits Ratty old sweatpants that are now too big, shirts that dont match with anything, holey sweatshirts. There are alot of very avid road bikers around here with fancy outfits and everything. I have on old sweatoant shorts and baggy tee shirts - so what. Just block everyone out. I make myself feel better by trying to remember what people I saw were wearing the day before(Like the person who sat next to you at work for 8 hours and you went out to lunch with). Half the time I cant even remember and I have a pretty decent memory. People really aren;t paying that much attention.
Just go for it!!!

SoupNazi

Do you have a local community center? I can't afford any of the gyms around here so I looked into my community center. I pay only $50 a year!!! and they have EVERYTHING a fitness gym has plus more. My only problem is that it's filled with old people, lol, and sometimes I am embarrassed because those 85 year olds put me to shame.:laugh: you should see some of them go!

annhjk

Okay, I don't think I'm "one of those girls"- I'm a size 8, still hate running at more than a 6.2, but like to be at the gym for over an hour most days (eliptical, circuit, water aerobics, bikes, step mill, etc). I was at 170 in high school was impressed with myself when I could walk, then run, etc. I know exactly what you are talking about when you say you feel judged - I was too - and high school is the worst place for it.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know when I see heavier people at the gym working out. I'm always impressed by them. It takes a lot more initiative to get off the couch and take time from their busy lives to get to the gym and to do everything in their power to get healthy.

I'm sorry if that came out in a negative way, I don't know how to say it exactly. I just want you to know that I'm not judging you for getting overweight. I'm just impressed you're doing something about it. I know it's hard. I've been there and it won't be long before you'll be feeling good about your workouts and not thinking about what anyone says about you.

PS - I hope that came out in a positve way

His_Kelly

PS - I hope that came out in a positve way

Yes it did. Thanks!

dhayes

A little story I was at the gym and there is one guy who looked to be in worse shape than I. I used to think that I hoped he would continue and not lose his motivation. Well one day I was on the elliptical next to him and overheard his conversation with another member. I found out that day that he had lost 178 pounds!!!!!! Must have weighed over 500 pounds at one point. I felt so silly feeling sorry for him he has already done what I hope to do. Needless to say I stopped comparing myself to anybody else that day and now know that I am the only one concerned with what I look like at that gym. Sure took a lot of stress out of my workouts.

Congratulations to you on getting out to the gym. You will really come to enjoy it when you let the negative self image go. Eventually you will be the one that the newbies are looking at and hoping to be like. The people that you and I worry about barely notice us.

krazykayzy

Hey...I don't know what gym you go to but I go to the Family "Y" and I would say that there are more 'average' sized people than the 'super skinny'. Maybe you should switch your gym? I mean if you feel that uncomfortable(which you shouldn't) you pay the same amount of money as they do and you should take just as much ownership in knowing that you are getting healthy.

songbyrdsweet

I find that, the less I judge others, the less I worry about them judging me. I know it happens because I don't look like, or work out like, any other girl in the gym. That's totally fine with me, and I could care less how they look. I'm there for "me time".

SoupNazi

A little story I was at the gym and there is one guy who looked to be in worse shape than I. I used to think that I hoped he would continue and not lose his motivation. Well one day I was on the elliptical next to him and overheard his conversation with another member. I found out that day that he had lost 178 pounds!!!!!! Must have weighed over 500 pounds at one point. I felt so silly feeling sorry for him he has already done what I hope to do. Needless to say I stopped comparing myself to anybody else that day and now know that I am the only one concerned with what I look like at that gym. Sure took a lot of stress out of my workouts.

Congratulations to you on getting out to the gym. You will really come to enjoy it when you let the negative self image go. Eventually you will be the one that the newbies are looking at and hoping to be like. The people that you and I worry about barely notice us.

How insightful!

alaskagal

A little story I was at the gym and there is one guy who looked to be in worse shape than I. I used to think that I hoped he would continue and not lose his motivation. Well one day I was on the elliptical next to him and overheard his conversation with another member. I found out that day that he had lost 178 pounds!!!!!! Must have weighed over 500 pounds at one point. I felt so silly feeling sorry for him he has already done what I hope to do. Needless to say I stopped comparing myself to anybody else that day and now know that I am the only one concerned with what I look like at that gym. Sure took a lot of stress out of my workouts.

Congratulations to you on getting out to the gym. You will really come to enjoy it when you let the negative self image go. Eventually you will be the one that the newbies are looking at and hoping to be like. The people that you and I worry about barely notice us.

Brillant and Amen to that!

ohthatbambi

Started out last March at 188. I am now down to 148. I wear a size 8 now. I too have felt and sometimes still feel what you feel. At some places a size 8 is like 6 sizes bigger than what most of the women are. Sometimes I feel like a baboon. But those women don't know a thing about me nor do I know a thing about them. For all I know they may have once weighed 480 pounds and spent the last three years working their butts off to get where they are. Shoot it has taken me just a year to drop 40. When I see people heavier than me at the gym I am impressed b/c I know how extremely hard it is to make that change. I know how miserable they must be on the inside b/c I have been that miserable too.

You are making a better life for yourself and that is ALL that is important. Walk in there with your shoulders tall and your head high and be proud that you are strong enough to want to make a change in your life and when you do reach your goal and can wear those skimpy little gym outfits take the time to look for those who are new, intimidated and can't wear those skimpy gym outfits and introduce yourself. Tell them your story and be an encouragement so they never have to feel unwelcome as you once did!! A little bit of positive encouragement can go a long way. The effects of being overweight do so much more than effect your physical health, but your mental health as well. One person being kind and extending a hand could mean a lifetime of change for someone who is suffering from the mental anguish of being overweight. I encourage you and everyone here to remember where you started and how you felt opening that gym door for the first time, how intimidating it was, the fear that made you want to turn right around and leave. Once you reach your goal still remember b/c there will be someone coming in that door that feels the very same way you did. I encourage you to reach out to that person and be an encouragement to them, make them feel good about opening that door the next day and the day after that. Who knows, you might make a lasting friendship or you might just change a life.

melathon

I am usually one of the biggest people there and I always feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. Most of the women wear sport bras / spandex shorts :noway: and I come out of the locker room wearing long exercise pants and a t -shirt.

Hon, I am a size 12-14, and have never been in single digits in my adult life (I'm 5'10" with a relatively muscular build.) When I began this, I was size 16 and was wearing an old pair of Adidas pants from 1979 that used to belong to my 6'3" now 300 lb father (I remember him running in them when I was four years old! Now they're mine, all mine!). I threw a t-shirt on top of that and went to the gym for ME TIME (I hate that phrase, but that's what it is!). The gym I go to is on a college campus and you know how typical college girls look. I am NOT that. Whatever!
If they are actually looking around and judging you (and trust me, I don't think they are), then so what? You're there to make yourself better, and you are, and you will succeed!
If you do continue to feel uncomfortable, then what someone said about changing gyms might be an idea - in some places they do have all-female gyms, but if you're like me, you're tied to the one place (my membership is free because I work there and I can't justify going anywhere else.)
Just keep going and I promise - if you keep this up, in a few weeks, you will NOT feel out-of-place.
Good for you for exercising, period! Just think of how many people NEVER exercise...