Cheat days vs no cheat days

Aerohead21

I'm needing some thoughts. My diary is public.

I am 31, 5'6", down 40 from a total goal of 120. I was hardcore the first three months where I lost the 40 lbs and then a lot of personal drama happened. I took a month long break and gained 6 back but have already lost it since I started back. The drama hasn't slowed or stopped so my main goal right now is to stay motivated and make better decisions. A good majority of what I've chosen to eat in the past week has been based largely on convenience due to time constraints (i.e. frozen dinners, quick meals) and not so much about eating clean. I have to admit I am one of those people who freak out if I go over 1200 calories though I know logically that is bad. That's also a big reason why I'm about to pose the question. I struggle behaving every day. It was easier the first three months when the drama wasn't there but now that my life is crap I just want to eat. Would it be the worst thing if I take a day off from "dieting"? How frequently? Once a week? Once a month? A meal? A whole day? What do you guys feel comfortable with and what suggestions do you have to help me get past my discomfort of eating only 1200 or less? I hate feeling guilty for eating and I hate feeling guilty for not eating...darn vicious cycle...

zyxst

I don't have cheat days, but I do fit what could be called cheaty-type foods (cookies, cupcakes, popsicles) into my daily budget. The type of eater/person I am doesn't work well with cheat days. I have to keep on track all the time, so I give myself little bits every day so I don't feel deprived.

If you know you can get back to your budget after a cheat day, you should be fine. You might want to keep track of a weekly calories budget rather than daily.

Aerohead21

That's a good thought. How would I calculate weekly calories? Right now I've got it set at 1200 which I don't really like but apparently I can't lose without exercise unless it's set at 1200. If I had more free time I'd throw in some exercise. I count the little stuff I do but I don't think it's all that effective. So assuming 1200. Would I just multiply that by 7 and the days I go over I make up for by going under on other days?

ScottFree_66

Instead of a "cheat day" once a week... I try to make it a "cheat meal" once a week. I know I'm going to exceed my goals that day because of that one meal, but I'm not completely sabotaging everything I've done for the week.

As I progress in my healthy journey, I hope to be able to tame those "cheat meals" somewhat. for example, one week I might eat a whole pizza for a cheat meal.... but eventually I hope to just have a slice or two for a "cheat meal".

I've only been at this a month, so I definitely don't know what I'm doing.... and I have had days when I completely fall off the wagon. but my GAOL is only screw up one meal a week. I've gotten close....

Hezzietiger1

I do a cheat meal each week that I don't log at all... and on that day, I keep everything else exactly the same. I eat between 1100-1300 calories daily. So on the day I do the cheat meal, I will still do my 1100-1300 plus the cheat meal.

Don't sabotage your hard work with food tho.. find another way to deal with the drama. If you put weight back on that's just gonna add more stress, depression, and drama to ur plate. U don't want that!!!

Heather

Aerohead21

Thanks for the support everyone. I know I use food to feel better and I'm working on finding solutions to manage stress that doesn't involve eating. I used to use exercise but time doesn't permit that at the moment. Lately I have been trying to lean on friends and develop a better support system. I notoriously isolate when things are tough so it's weird to share all this when all I want to do is hide.

megg0616

There is no such thing as a cheat meal or day. For most of us this is a life style change and therefore that means life is gonna get in the way of the most well thought out plan. Lets face it most of us will eventually stop counting calories when we hit our goal. Therefore now is the time for trial and error. I eat what I want with in reason and with in my calorie budget. If there is an option for a healthier choice I usually go for that but I never deny myself that chocolate. I have two children that play sports and are very active and there are days that we have to hit MC Donald's. When I go there I want a cheesburger and fry's not a salad so instead of a big Mac I get a regular cheesburger and a small fry. I get what I want at a lower calorie budget and I'm happy and I didn't blow all my hard work. You just have to find the right balance for you and not feel guilty about it.

viser_haut

If by cheat you mean, have something higher calorie that is supposedly 'bad' for you... then every day is cheat day! I realised a long time ago that trying to live life without chocolate is just... impossible. Set aside a small amount of calories per day for the things you like.
If you know that you would be tempted to binge or go over calories too often, then try counting calories weekly! If I go over one day, I make sure I stick around my weekly goal. Don't feel guilty about it, either! It sets good habits for the future once you reach your desired weight... let's face it, no one is going to go without 'junk' food for the rest of their lives.
In a nutshell, instead of having a full day off where you may be tempted to lose control, just make every day a little easier on yourself.

ZugTheMegasaurus

I don't have cheat days because "cheating" implies that I'm doing something wrong, or at least something I'm not supposed to be doing. As far as I'm concerned, eating is not something that should come with guilt. If I want a particular food, I consider the consequences; if I think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, I eat it and don't feel bad about it. If I think I'd be better off not eating it, then I don't and I don't feel bad about that either. It's just a matter of deciding what I want in that particular instance.

shimmer_glo

There is no such thing as a cheat meal or day. For most of us this is a life style change and therefore that means life is gonna get in the way of the most well thought out plan.

I completely agree. This might sound like a weird suggestion, but you might try not even calling it "cheating" on your diet. If you can change the way you think about it, and instead realize that you're making long-term lifestyle changes, then "cheat" days become days where you just ate more calories than you needed (or didn't eat nutrient rich foods, etc.)

I once lost 25 lbs. allowing myself one day a week where I could eat whatever I wanted. However, it took f-o-r-e-v-e-r!! I agree with the above poster who suggested one "free" meal, rather than a whole day. One unhealthy or high calorie meal here and there is not going to ruin your diet, as long as it's not every single day.

Also, once you start getting used to lifestyle changes, a lot of times you might find that you don't even need that "free" meal, because you are used to eating better and you want to keep your momentum. Or, you might find that your splurges change over time ... you may still go over calorie limits, but eat lower fat treats instead, or just eat a few hundred extra calories instead of thousands. I think the key is really in looking at it as a permanent lifestyle change and not a temporarily rigid diet.

Aerohead21

Yeah, this is far from temporary and that's why I'm posing the question now. While on the weightloss portion of my journey I feel so much guilt over everything - am I eating enough, not enough, is it good, is it bad, is it nutrient rich, is it too high in fat/carbs, will it curb my hunger, and the list just keeps growing. It's borderline obsessive! And that's where the trouble comes in. Balance. How do I make peace with the imperfections? How do I stop making myself feel like a failure at everything?

I only used cheat for lack of a better word. Mainly I wanted people to get the idea that I was wondering how to decide if it would be ok to allow myself the cheat meal/day as a way to help deal with emotional turmoil being imperfect causes...

Always the perfectionist.

chevy88grl

I don't have cheat days. I eat what I want, when I want it - I simply do it in moderation. For me, having a "cheat" day is too diet-ish. I would much rather have whatever I'm craving NOW and not have to wait for a special day.

shimmer_glo

Well if you're in it for the long haul, then 1) that's great! and 2) if you feel like you need a day off or a meal off now and then, I hope you don't feel guilty about it! I think MFP is very helpful because it can help you assess your strengths and weaknesses over time. If you look back and see that you're filling up most days with "cheat meals" or unhealthy food, then reassess and do less of that. But if it works for you, and you're still able to lose or maintain a healthy lifestyle 80 or 90% of the time, then go for it! Getting obsessive about health is actually unhealthy, right? So ... just relax a little if you need to. That's my opinion, anyway. Good luck!

Aerohead21

My cravings are what got me here. They are two-fold: type of food, usually sweets or fatty/fried and quantity, as in I want lots of it. The cravings are endless so I spend a lot of my time battling those.

AmbyrJayde

Personally I can't have cheat days, because when I cheat I cheat big. I mean like 7k calories. I love food. So I try and eat tasty things every day and just work it in. If I do have a cheat day it'll usually be once a month. Generally a Saturday, so I have all week to work it off again.

Aerohead21

That's a good point...I do tend to look at it like it's all or nothing. Maybe by reducing my success rate to 80-90% of the time it won't be so hard.

Aerohead21

Me Too!!! When I eat how I like to eat it is fast food every meal and desserts! That easily hits the 5k mark give or take. I know I can't do that though. I do have to control not to blow the whole day though. Kind of like someone earlier said about eatig a cheeseburger and small fry instead of the Big Mac meal...

jacquelynkay

Very interesting reading everyone's comments and how they view "cheat" days. For me, it's about the journey of food. We all know that the % of weight loss failure is because people deprive themselves of food they love. I do not deprive myself of ANY food I love, I eat exactly what I want - but the key to my weight loss is strictly portion control. So, I never have cheat days. I'm training myself on portion control and serving size.

shimmer_glo

That's a good point...I do tend to look at it like it's all or nothing. Maybe by reducing my success rate to 80-90% of the time it won't be so hard.

Just keep in mind that your weight loss rate will be slower. But it might be worth it if you feel like your diet overall is more tolerable from day to day.

Aerohead21

I'm working on that too but I'll be honest when I say if I ate what I wanted at portion sizes to stay within a calorie budget designed to lose weight, I wouldn't get to eat very much in a day. I think that's another reason I struggle. The food I want and the food I need are so very different.

shimmer_glo

When I lost the 25 lbs, I was eating 1800 calories a day and exercising maybe 30 minutes 5 days a week. I still ate at McDonalds, because I felt like I needed to. I just ate a little less than I did before counting calories. It worked for me at the time, although, like I said, it took months and months and months. I say, find what works for you and then gradually continue improving.

Aerohead21

It would make my weight loss slower but it might also help me with keeping it off because I know I can't live the rest of my life this strictly. Cognitively and intellectually this all makes sense but emotionally it is so devastating to me. I mentioned to one of my friends I think another part of my problem is because I weigh everyday. I know any weight gain from a low calorie day is water retention and it will come off eventually but I don't want to be so dependent on my scale. I want to be happy with what I'm doing and not feel like I am chained to this diet/lifestyle/what have you.

jkleon86

There is no such thing as a cheat meal or day. For most of us this is a life style change and therefore that means life is gonna get in the way of the most well thought out plan.

Life does have a way a getting in the way. I seem to end up with one cheat meal a week , I don't "plan " it it just happens but I normally don't go over by to much 200 to 300 calories and this might sound like alot to some people here but conpared to the way I use to handle a flub up I think I am doing great

hawaii86442

I remember a doctor telling my friend that she needed to lose weight to be within her weight range. He gave a lot of suggestions for eating healthier and at about 1200 calories a day. The bonus to this diet is she could anything she wanted one nighr a week. She ate a quart of ice cream with toppings. She has successfully lost her weight and has maintained it. If she gains a few pounds she goes back to the diet with the Friday night special. I hope this helps!!

shimmer_glo

I don't know how much this really helps, but I've found that week by week or month by month, I just have to assess where I am and figure out what my problem areas are. If it's weighing myself too often, I'll change that. If it's eating too late at night, I'll come up with a plan to stop that from happening. It sounds like you already know what things are your trouble areas, so you probably also know the best ways to combat those problems if you just think about it and find what will work in your situation.

Aerohead21

Thanks I think by talking about it with everyone I am beginning to really break down what the root causes to my problems are and develop ideas ans strategies on how to handle them. I am on a learning curve, really. I know how to be fat. I've done that successfully and without fail my entire life. This weight loss thing? Not. A. Clue.

ZugTheMegasaurus

There is no such thing as a cheat meal or day. For most of us this is a life style change and therefore that means life is gonna get in the way of the most well thought out plan.

Life does have a way a getting in the way. I seem to end up with one cheat meal a week , I don't "plan " it it just happens but I normally don't go over by to much 200 to 300 calories and this might sound like alot to some people here but conpared to the way I use to handle a flub up I think I am doing great

That's a great attitude! It's not about being flawless, it's about doing better than you were before. There's always something to improve and better yourself with; that's not a problem, it's what makes things interesting!

@OP: after reading your replies, it sounds to me like you're really stressing yourself about being perfect. I wrote a post earlier to address this kind of difficulty if you'd like to read it: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/578928-give-yourself-a-chance

FriendsR4EverTreasures

Personally, I don't diet, I eat anything I want and make sure I stay within my calorie goals either by counting calories or exercising excess calories away. I have lost 17lbs but it has taken me 275 days so far because I don't deprive myself of ANYTHING, literally, no foods are bad foods for me. Granted, I have lost SLOWLY; however, I know that I can maintain and keep eating all the food I love without yo-yo dieting. I"m 1lb away from my goal weight and have not deprived myself of any of my favorite food for the entire journey. I think sometimes we want to be in a hurry to lose the weight but that's not the best because deprivation and low calorie nutrition is not something that can be followed or maintained long term, the weight will come back and it has taken years and years of restrictive diets for me to finally accept that and so when I began my journey last July, I knew it would be a lifelong thing and therefore I have not ever felt like I need a "cheat" meal or day because I eat my favorite foods in moderation and exercise heavily on the days that I indulge, but then, I do love my workouts and that has got to be enjoyable for you too.

nicholsvj

A lot of doctors I know that do a lot with weight loss - serious, life style type, not the gimmicky pill crap - actually want their patients to have one "cheat meal" a week. It actually will help with maintaining loss and preventing plateaus. The science behind it basically says that you have to trick your body out of "starvation" mode. When we ate the way we did to gain weight, our bodies just stored it all. When we make drastic changes, we start to burn fat. But as that becomes permanent, our bodies think we are going through a "lean" period and burn the fat slower. But when we give it a high cal meal, our bodies think - alright, lean mode over.

Also, most nutritionist would rather people go by weekly calorie goals than daily. Meaning, if you are at 1200 cal/day (which may be too low for you at this point anyways) you can easily go over by a couple hundred calories in one day (100-300) and make up for it with extra exercise or 50 fewer calories per day the rest of the week

annemw82

I don't really like the phrase cheat. It implies that I am doing something wrong. Like a few people have mentioned I eat what I want, when I want. I just budget it into my calories or maybe spend a little more time exercising that day. But I find that when I allow myself a cheat i go overboard with it. However when I deny myself for too long I tend to binge. It's all about finding balance in your life and your diet. Almost everyone eats fast food, sweets, etc from time to time. You just have to figure where and how those things fit into your new lifestyle. good luck!

Aerohead21

Right! And today was almost a binge day! My friend's bday party had so much good food there and alcohol galore. I avoided the drinks and desparately tried to avoid the food but none of it was "healthy" per se. It wasn't like it was unhealthy, just not diet like. And she was like "try this" to EVERYTHING. She had grilled it specially in her native way (she's Hawaiian) so I couldn't just tell her no. And it was sooooooo gooooood. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to eat double what you see in my diary. Fabulous. Really truly. And I feel so guilty about it I explain it in my notes, made a status update, and now I'm explaining myself here like I should feel bad that I ate chicken and salmon and shortribs plus fixin's for lunch. I made a conscious decision to only eat a little of each and not a bunch of everything so why do I feel so bad to have a day where it isn't the best?