Hello my fellow fitness biscuits

Drawberry

Hello everyone!

I just joined up when a friend of mine was discussing his own sign up on Facebook and was looking for friends, as I've been exercising and changing my eating habits the past month+ I thought this would be a good way to keep track of things.

My whole life I have struggled with my body image and weight, since childhood I've felt inadequate and always told I would be more attractive if this or that was changed. Even when I was at my thinnest, an American size 6, I was still told that if I had less fat here or there I would look 'perfect'. It's taken me a very long time to realize there never was a 'perfect', and it was always others putting their own insecurities and ideals onto me. So now I finally realized what I want for myself, and that is to not just lose weight and 'be skinny', I want to have strength and endurance I never had and to build muscle I've neglected. For me, this is not just weight loss or wanting to fit into my old jeans. I want to walk up the stairs in a parking garage and not get winded! I want to build a stronger body! I want to finally feel like I can wear a tank top in the summer without feeling ashamed. Numbers aren't as important to me as how I feel, and at the end of the day I just want to feel happy and healthy.

Over the course of about 6 months I lost control of my emotionally driven eating habits and hit a low point. In my teenage years I was diagnosed with a form of depression and generalized anxiety disorder, the depression and anxiety drove me to consume more and more sugary drinks and eat almost nothing. Then once I realized I was quickly growing out of my clothes the cycle began. I was sad, so I ate. I got sadder because I was getting heavier, so I ate more. This is something I will have to learn to control and handle my entire life, and have finally begun to slowly get this under control.

I can't lie, some days I feel so horribly disgusting I don't look in the mirror at all. Some days I can't imagine how Boyfriend looks at me so lovingly and tells me I am beautiful and means it from the bottom of his heart. But some days, I feel wonderful and I must move into making EVERY single day that way. I believe deep down that each one of us deserves to feel beautiful and truly is, no matter what their weight is-I need to work at applying this to myself and not just others.

So here I am. 22 years old and coming up to 23, at my heaviest weight ever;170lbs. My goal is to be 125lbs, to be stronger and fit and be proud of what I am doing.

Before I signed up here I've been doing a little over a months worth of work on my own, my progress is this: I work out between 5-6 days a week between 1-2hrs a day. I am now able to do 100 sit ups, 400 lifts with 10lb weights, and upwards of 200 squats. With the weather getting warmer out here in the chilly mid-west I am looking forward to many bike rides, walks, and outdoor fun with Boyfriend and friends.

dme1977

Good luck on your journey and keep up the great work you have started:flowerforyou:

Drawberry

Good luck on your journey and keep up the great work you have started:flowerforyou:

Thank you ^^!