Moms ... Gotta love em

GeneveSparkles

In celebration of Mother's Day in a couple weeks, I thought it would be fun to start a thread of funny, crazy, ridiculous emails/texts/IMs from our mom's. I'm obsessed with the website Postcards From Yo Momma, so this can be an MFP version :happy:
I'll go first

Background: I was dating this guy and I cooked dinner for him, it included soyrizo and he liked it.

Mom's e-mail:

Hi Geneve, really he like the soyrizo??? Maybe he was just being nice,,,,,,,maybe you should have made fish or shrimp, maybe you should not push soy on him esecially if he's never had it...



When my mom first got e-mail I got tons of e-mail like the following:

Hi geneve this is just a test...this is the 3rd test....if you get this plz respond....

love you, mom

I love my mom, but she drives my crazy, really wish I could find the e-mail she sent to my sister and me when we were in Costa Rica about not getting sucked in by the rip tide, that one was hilarious.


:drinker: To moms!!!

hbrittingham

My mom is 82, she doesn't text/email/IM. She wouldn't have a clue how! But she's a hoot and I try to do as many things as I can with her while she is still active and enjoys traveling with me.

HealthyBodySickMind

I get tons of forwards from my mother. Some of them, the funny ones, are not so bad. And then she'll send me religious or political ones, but even if I, by chance, agree with them, they just sound so pushy (perfectly mom, right?). And then she'll send me the "concerned" ones about not leaving water bottles in a hot car because you'll get cancer or the latest way people are car jacking or raping women. I've taken to sending her the snopes.com articles that rate the "truth" of the emails that go around.

Now, everyone, scroll down and pray for me that she never discovers texting and if you don't forward this post to five people, your deepest wishes will never come true.

GeneveSparkles

These are some from the website that are hilarious


Me: I don’t know what to get my husband for his birthday
Mom: Well, I don’t know if the standards are higher in New York, but in Oakridge, a 6-pack and a *kitten* would do. That’s all men around here want.




Mom: So I finally went a bought a new computer yesterday!

Me: That’s great! What kind?

Mom: I got a Dell laptop. And I also got a wireless mouse.

Me: Oh cool! Wish I had a wireless mouse!

Mom: Yeah, well I need it ’cause I’m going to get a scanner soon.

Me: What? What does a wireless mouse have to do with a photo scanner?

Mom: You know, to scan the photo you have to swipe the lazer from the mouse back and fourth across the picture!

Me: Oh my god, I bet the salesman had a field day with you.


DO NOT GET A CAT…I’VE HAD IT WITH ALL ****EN CATS… EVER TRY AND GIVE A CAT A PILL?… IT SUCKS AND YOUR DAD DOESN’T HELP! I CAN HARDLY WAIT TILL ALL OF THESE MOTHER ****ERS DIE AND LEAVE ME IN PEACE.

SORRY, I JUST HAD TO VENT… YOUR BROTHER WENT OUT. MOM


So, I’m watching the show “The Doctors” and learned that I am not alone, there are other women who have hairy nipples! Just an FYI, if your partner has a cold, sore throat, etc. your Hoo-Hoo can catch it if he pays a visit down there. I can’t stop laughing, true, but so funny!

GeneveSparkles

My mom is 82, she doesn't text/email/IM. She wouldn't have a clue how! But she's a hoot and I try to do as many things as I can with her while she is still active and enjoys traveling with me.

That's sweet

GeneveSparkles

I get tons of forwards from my mother. Some of them, the funny ones, are not so bad. And then she'll send me religious or political ones, but even if I, by chance, agree with them, they just sound so pushy (perfectly mom, right?). And then she'll send me the "concerned" ones about not leaving water bottles in a hot car because you'll get cancer or the latest way people are car jacking or raping women. I've taken to sending her the snopes.com articles that rate the "truth" of the emails that go around.

Now, everyone, scroll down and pray for me that she never discovers texting and if you don't forward this post to five people, your deepest wishes will never come true.

Haha, mine does the same thing, except it's not articles, she just feels the need to recap The Doctors episode from that day and how I'm going to die if I run.

steph124ny

My mom and I had a rough road for quite a few years, but all is well now. We are Vegas buddies and I wouldn't kow what to do without her. But she is a packrat and I throw away *kitten* I still need! Drives me insane!!! I tried to clean her living room one time and she made me keep magazines from 1986 because there was a paint color in one of the photos that she liked!!!

She's not a hoarder or anything, but she drives me NUTS!

CoralConnor

My story was funny at the time but now seems more sweet in retrospect :-) My mom took me to her acupuncturist (my first ever visit) and while the doctor was putting needles in my back and legs my Mom was telling a story.

I realized the story sounded very familiar and then I said Mom, I was there when that happened! That was yesterday. She said "well, and then this happened...." I said Mom! What's wrong with you? I was THERE when what your saying happened. I was standing right next to you! I was so confused. And she says OK, and she keeps describing to me this event...

And after the appointment when i asked her why she was acting PSYCHO telling me a story I was obviously there for, she said she was trying to distract me from focusing on the acupuncture needles :-) She didn't want me to be nervous or in pain. Awww :-) I have a great Mom

monicamk1975

My passed away in July of 09 but I would always laugh when I was picking up my voicemails because she would always say, "monica, its Maria, your mom..." lol like I wouldnt know

jarrettd

Lost Mom to cancer several years ago, but this one memory of her never fails to make me smile:

I had noticed a single dollar bill in her crochet needle box. It seems like it had always been there. So, I finally asked her, "Mom, why do you keep a dollar bill in your needle box?" She says "It's my mad money."

I said, quite puzzled, "Mad money?!?" She cocked her head to the side and smiled the sweetest smile, and said "I don't plan on getting very mad."

Miss you, Momma!

anabell31

While watching a show involving a pregnant teenager (I was 12):

"Now you just let me know when you get those urges and we'll go get you some condoms. Just don't tell your dad."

A few years later she offered to take me to a sex shop. Also without telling my dad. Most things involved not telling my dad XD.

Aaand now she pretends that I don't have lady parts and am completely incapable of having sex ever.

JenAiMarres

Moms are cute!!

Here's the very last text I got from my mom... It is regarding a foul ball that hit my shoulder at the little league field Saturday...gnarly bruise..so I sent her a pic...

"My poor baby! That must hurt! Terrifying how close it was to hitting your head."

I think it's sweet and only a mom would call her 34 y/o a baby...And of course only a mom would be worried about it hitting my head!! Lol no one at the baseball field seemed to give a crap!! Hahah!

Moms Rock!!!

JenAiMarres

Lost Mom to cancer several years ago, but this one memory of her never fails to make me smile:

I had noticed a single dollar bill in her crochet needle box. It seems like it had always been there. So, I finally asked her, "Mom, why do you keep a dollar bill in your needle box?" She says "It's my mad money."

I said, quite puzzled, "Mad money?!?" She cocked her head to the side and smiled the sweetest smile, and said "I don't plan on getting very mad."

Miss you, Momma!

Tears...that's really sweet...I'm pretty sure she was a selfless lady...(((hugs)))