What I've learned...

roachhaley
roachhaley Posts: 978 Member
These are some helpful things I've learned from the MFP forums lately. I hope these snippets of knowledge and advice will help everyone on their weight loss journey.


- If you don't eat at least 1200 calories a day, you WILL drop dead.

- Eating disorders don't exist, those people just want attention

- Any food you previously thought was healthy is unhealthy. Really, you should just not eat anything to be safe. However, you would then not hit 1200 calories a day and almost immediately drop dead.

- If your exercise routine isn't exactly like mine, you might as well not even be exercising.

- Every "study" you find on the internet is true, even if you find several studies that contradict each other. A good technique is to believe one study per day.

- Don't eat any carbs. At all. Ever. You will drop dead. If you've ever eaten a carb, you should be dead by now.

- All your calories should be carbs. The human body functions solely on carbs. Didn't you see that study? Yeah, go eat some bagels or some ****. You're gonna drop dead.

- Starvation mode definitely does NOT defy the law of conservation of mass. Physics? Screw it. Did physics ever help you lose weight? No? See, lying *kitten*.

- Finally, you should never, EVER listen to your own body. Don't feel hungry? Feel hungry? Well, too bad. If the people on the internet say to do something, you'd better f*cking do it or you're going to gain 132 pounds tonight.

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