Center of Attention

Brechin89

My boyfriend doesn't give me any attention. He always is on his computer, laptop, phone, ipad etc. We can never be together without him being on one of those things.

Weird thing is I want to get fit and lose weight and he is against it! He says he wants my body the way it is now. So, even if I lost the weight I wouldn't get any more attention as I would now.

I think this is the same in your case. Your weight doesn't matter. It's her personality and how she treats others.

Secretly he's telling you to get fit. Its against man law to tell you to because women are considered "touchy" when it comes to their physical appearance.

@cbcbrass90

We couldn't possibly afford that at this time, but if we get a chance and if I can talk her into it. (will have to find a way to sugarcoat "hey i don't do things for you vice versa lets go get pro help") Of course this is where someone is going to say if she doesn't want to do this then she isn't wanting to work on it and isn't worth my time. I've thought about these things and every possible way to fix that one thing. I know we'll both tough it out to where we just learn to deal with each other. Thats not a question at all. Its just taking entirely too long for me to learn to deal with this or her to realize how much it means to me. We've had our ups and downs we're still together.

RMuske

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I just wish she would see it and understand it and work on it. Everything you said is exactly how I see everything.
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I bet she does see it and I am sure she understands that you are frustrated. She probably wants to make you happy but at the same time if she is not an affectionate person you telling her all the time will not make her more affectionate, it will make her upset. You might have to just accept her as she is and be ok with her lack of affection.

ShaunaLaNee

You profile says "vagina" as an inspiration, you can't be for real? L M A O

Brechin89

You profile says "vagina" as an inspiration, you can't be for real? L M A O

LOL I thought it was funny... And no man can lie about it. If they work out and they are nice and fit it woman cross their mind.

Its only natural for a man to think, Damn if I look better the chicks are going to think so too. The power of Vagina is a very good inspiration... Ever guy thinks don't care what they say.

_Bob_

"no homo guys"

But you said everyone?

now I'm just confused, you want to look good so the ladies start staring but not good enough to attract other men. that's going to be hard but good luck.

lol well guys can look and say too. But I'm not the one for them to touch.

Fair enough. we had a couple Gay dude's in my BCT platoon. they made us uncomfortable until we got to know them and then they were cool. there compliments never got out of hand.

leogirlinbaltimore

Have you tried to cut back on the amount of affection you give her? I was in a relationship that had the same problem and believe me the other person notices when you don't act as affectionately as you usually do. It could help her understand how you feel on a daily basis.

Brechin89

Have you tried to cut back on the amount of affection you give her? I was in a relationship that had the same problem and believe me the other person notices when you don't act as affectionately as you usually do. It could help her understand how you feel on a daily basis.

Yeah it dwindles away a little bit each day... And for clarification its not like I show her a lot of affection because she hates it...

CrazyTrackLady

You profile says "vagina" as an inspiration, you can't be for real? L M A O

LOL I thought it was funny... And no man can lie about it. If they work out and they are nice and fit it woman cross their mind.

Its only natural for a man to think, Damn if I look better the chicks are going to think so too. The power of Vagina is a very good inspiration... Ever guy thinks don't care what they say.

It all boils down to one thing: the size of the man's....bank account. Nothing else matters to women, you should have learned this by now. And, oh, NOT coming across as a douche nozzle the first time you introduce yourself to a bunch of strangers over the internet.

Brechin89

You profile says "vagina" as an inspiration, you can't be for real? L M A O

LOL I thought it was funny... And no man can lie about it. If they work out and they are nice and fit it woman cross their mind.

Its only natural for a man to think, Damn if I look better the chicks are going to think so too. The power of Vagina is a very good inspiration... Ever guy thinks don't care what they say.

It all boils down to one thing: the size of the man's....bank account. Nothing else matters to women, you should have learned this by now. And, oh, NOT coming across as a douche nozzle the first time you introduce yourself to a bunch of strangers over the internet.

Yeah that sure is an example your setting name calling and what not. If your offended by what I say then their is no need to reply back.

this theory of yours about how big a mans bank account is just proves how shallow and cold you are, and these words make other woman look bad.

As a former middle school student I really worry about the morals and ethics you are teaching the younger generations.

I pray for you,
Brechin

EDIT : that really makes you a gold digger... At 22 even I know its how you treat a lady...

CrazyTrackLady

You profile says "vagina" as an inspiration, you can't be for real? L M A O

LOL I thought it was funny... And no man can lie about it. If they work out and they are nice and fit it woman cross their mind.

Its only natural for a man to think, Damn if I look better the chicks are going to think so too. The power of Vagina is a very good inspiration... Ever guy thinks don't care what they say.

It all boils down to one thing: the size of the man's....bank account. Nothing else matters to women, you should have learned this by now. And, oh, NOT coming across as a douche nozzle the first time you introduce yourself to a bunch of strangers over the internet.

Yeah that sure is an example your setting name calling and what not. If your offended by what I say then their is no need to reply back.

this theory of yours about how big a mans bank account is just proves how shallow and cold you are, and these words make other woman look bad.

As a former middle school student I really worry about the morals and ethics you are teaching the younger generations.

I pray for you,
Brechin

EDIT : that really makes you a gold digger... At 22 even I know its how you treat a lady...

heh heh.

jenj1313

glad everyone liked it. I've been having a battle with girlfriend lately. Trying to get her to be more affectionate. I cook dinner before she gets home, I clean the house, I pay the bills, hell when she gets off work and its been raining outside I got fresh clothes out of the dryer so she can warm up... So I've tried a lot of different things. The only thing that I think will work is this so. I'm on for a journey i guess.

Is she "just not affectionate" or was she affectionate before and now she's not? Either way, have you thought of what you're going to do if you hit your goals and she's still not as affectionate as you'd like?

You might want to think about picking up a book called the "7 Love Languages"... sounds like you are giving her the things you would like to have someone give you, but are they the things that she needs to feel loved? If not, they aren't going to get the results you want. That's what the book says, anyway... I'm single and divorced x 2, so what the heck do I know? :laugh: I've decided to just learn to love being single, but I did read this and it made a lot of sense to me... I just think it was too late in my relationship by then for it to do any good. But I digress...

Good luck reaching your goals. I hope they are for you as much as they are for her!
Thanks for serving, btw. I appreciate your hard work and sacrifice.

All the best,
Jen

Edited to correct a typo

jenj1313

Um, Specialist, your health care is covered by your service, INCLUDING counseling. I don't know if they cover her if she's not a dependent, but you can see someone on your own to help you sort things out. They SHOULD cover the non-dependant in relationship counseling b/c sh***y marriages cause soldiers a lot of time, money, and heartache, but I don't know if they do or not. Can't hurt to look into it.

Good luck!

cgray

When my husband and I (13 years May 28th) first started dating I had similar feelings. I was skinny but not cut, not in shape and kind of blah. I felt like I wasn't good enough. I'm not very pretty but there's nothing I could really do about that but I could work out. At first I had hoped it would completely change the way he looked at me, I would get more complements, he would say I was "hot", but what I've realized now is that it wasn't HIM it was me. It was my level of confidence. He hasn't changed a bit but thanks to working out more I have. He can say I'm hot if he wants to or not but I know I'm blowing away 99% of those little 18-year-olds on the beach and I'm twice their age. You can't change others, you can improve on yourself.