Falling off the wagon? Who pays their dues?

I often see comments in the forum about falling off the wagon diet-wise, and how responders say it's okay to take one day at a time and 'do better tomorrow'.

But... Isn't it better to actually pay your dues when you fall off the wagon, and try to make up for it with working out before you close your diary?

Today I fell off the wagon a little. I had delicious cookies and chips and I sat at a 850 calorie overage. I guess I could have shrugged it off, but I thought... "Meh, no. I can burn that off in two hours and that way I don't have to feel guilty."

So I did. I went to the gym and worked my butt off, and I feel WAY much better than I would have, had I just shrugged it off.

So who here votes for paying their dues?
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Replies

  • annahiven
    annahiven Posts: 177 Member
    There is a difference between punishing yourself, and paying the price for a poor decision, is there not?

    The point is to NOT let it happen several days in a row: to learn what the consequences are and learn to do better next time. If you just shrug it off and start new the next day without repercussions, how is that gonna help you?
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    This is a negative cycle. You are punishing yourself for going over. So if you have a big bad day, you go to the gym workout a few hours, what if this happens a few day sin a row? Get in to over training, negative emotions etc.

    Or you can lie to yourself and say "i'll just work it off tomorrow i can probably workout 5hrs tomorrow, i am not doing nothing, i can eat this big cake" etc...

    The problem is you're going off negative emotions. This is how eating disorder starts.

    total nonsense
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    I just start over and try not to do it again.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    This is a negative cycle. You are punishing yourself for going over. So if you have a big bad day, you go to the gym workout a few hours, what if this happens a few day sin a row? Get in to over training, negative emotions etc.

    Or you can lie to yourself and say "i'll just work it off tomorrow i can probably workout 5hrs tomorrow, i am not doing nothing, i can eat this big cake" etc...

    The problem is you're going off negative emotions. This is how eating disorder starts.

    total nonsense
    Do something you never do david, put your money where your mouth is. Explain. Talk is cheap...

    you have diagnosed the OP (based on her post) as a potential ED victim when all she was doing was advocating a more proactive approach to dealing wioth going over calories for the day. You are to be commended for your weight loss but it seems your weight loss has given you advanced degrees in everything from psychology to theology.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    After I lost 60 lbs several years ago I ended up very disordered in my thinking. Every time I ate something, I mentally calculated how many calories I needed to burn to counteract it in my system.

    Now, if I go over, I just let it go. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen... and sometimes I choose for it to happen. If I've already set up MFP to have a calorie deficit of 3500 calories to lose a pound this week, and I go over by 500 calories one day... or even 1000... I'm just (in theory) going to lose a little less than I would have.

    I say let it go.

    Now, if you're going over every day, you're just simply not committed.
  • annahiven
    annahiven Posts: 177 Member
    Wow. Forget I said something.
  • ivykivy
    ivykivy Posts: 2,970 Member
    I would tend to agree with the negative cycle comment. It could lead to what they call this exercise purging and it is just as addictive and destructive. I have read several articles on the phenomena which prompted me to stop that particular behavior myself.
  • mrsnathanandrew
    mrsnathanandrew Posts: 631 Member
    There is a difference between punishing yourself, and paying the price for a poor decision, is there not?

    The point is to NOT let it happen several days in a row: to learn what the consequences are and learn to do better next time. If you just shrug it off and start new the next day without repercussions, how is that gonna help you?

    ^^ I agree with this. She's not doing it to punish herself. I'm sure she's not sitting there thinking "If i don't work off these calories than I'm worthless, all this will be for nothing." She's thinking "Well, I ate crappy, I could just sit here and feel bad for eating or, or better yet, I'll get in a great workout."

    If she's going into it positively then how is that punishing herself? I do the same thing on days where I have Olive Garden, or what not, unless it's my cheat meal/day.
  • mrsnathanandrew
    mrsnathanandrew Posts: 631 Member
    To answer your original question.

    It all depends. Most of the time I burn so many calories during my workout that it's quite hard for me to go over, unless I eat like taco bell, and olive garden, and all the not so good for you stuff.

    There are times however where I haven't worked out, and I go over so I do eventually realize it won't kill me to work out, and I will feel better once I do. So I do.
  • annahiven
    annahiven Posts: 177 Member
    I am sorry, but I believe in paying your dues.

    I don't go out and shop with money I don't have. I am not going to run up a credit card bill without actually straightening out my finances the following month and pay off what I over-spent. Where would I be if I kept running up my bill, and just saying it's okay? And how are calories any different?

    It is not about negativity at all. It is about accountability and about taking pride in that when you make a mistake, you have the strength and resilience to accept the consequences and put yourself back at square one.

    I would feel much worse if I had NOT gone to the gym and made up for what I ate. Then there would have been guilt, and likely, poor results on the scale.
  • femmi1120
    femmi1120 Posts: 473 Member
    I often see comments in the forum about falling off the wagon diet-wise, and how responders say it's okay to take one day at a time and 'do better tomorrow'.

    But... Isn't it better to actually pay your dues when you fall off the wagon, and try to make up for it with working out before you close your diary?

    Today I fell off the wagon a little. I had delicious cookies and chips and I sat at a 850 calorie overage. I guess I could have shrugged it off, but I thought... "Meh, no. I can burn that off in two hours and that way I don't have to feel guilty."

    So I did. I went to the gym and worked my butt off, and I feel WAY much better than I would have, had I just shrugged it off.

    So who here votes for paying their dues?

    I agree with you for the most part, BUT sometimes it really depends on when the falling off the wagon happens. If I eat a few cookies at noon, 2 hours working it off later is no big deal. But if I eat those same cookies at 11 pm and I have to be up at 6 am.... yea it's not going to happen.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    As I think about this more I want to expand on my answer:

    If I've already worked out for the day and I go over I won't work out again... but if I haven't worked out, and it's not specifically a rest day (i.e. I have an injury or just ran a race the day before) I will probably try to correct whatever dietary indiscretion I may have committed early in the day.

    For me, though, if I overeat, it's usually late at night when a) I'm very tired, or b) I've had a couple of drinks :S
  • albinogorilla
    albinogorilla Posts: 1,056 Member
    I often see comments in the forum about falling off the wagon diet-wise, and how responders say it's okay to take one day at a time and 'do better tomorrow'.

    But... Isn't it better to actually pay your dues when you fall off the wagon, and try to make up for it with working out before you close your diary?

    Today I fell off the wagon a little. I had delicious cookies and chips and I sat at a 850 calorie overage. I guess I could have shrugged it off, but I thought... "Meh, no. I can burn that off in two hours and that way I don't have to feel guilty."

    So I did. I went to the gym and worked my butt off, and I feel WAY much better than I would have, had I just shrugged it off.

    So who here votes for paying their dues?

    if it works for you do it..............i used to always eat my way into the red, and then exercise into the green.........since i work out at midnight, i would know exactly what i had to burn. Now i plan better as i tighten the reins......but that worked very well for me on a daily basis.
  • amanda52488
    amanda52488 Posts: 260 Member
    This is a negative cycle. You are punishing yourself for going over. So if you have a big bad day, you go to the gym workout a few hours, what if this happens a few day sin a row? Get in to over training, negative emotions etc.

    Or you can lie to yourself and say "i'll just work it off tomorrow i can probably workout 5hrs tomorrow, i am not doing nothing, i can eat this big cake" etc...

    The problem is you're going off negative emotions. This is how eating disorder starts.

    For me, I would agree with this. When I was in highschool I would panic if I ate anything that was "bad" or not in my plan and make myself run it off. It was horrible and definitely borderline obsessive.

    I take pride that now, if I do go over in my cals and I am still working out.. its okay to shrug it off and not feel guilty. This is a lifelong journey and life is filled with "bad" foods and I dont want to teach myself to feel guilty for eating all the time.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
    I am sorry, but I believe in paying your dues.

    I don't go out and shop with money I don't have. I am not going to run up a credit card bill without actually straightening out my finances the following month and pay off what I over-spent. Where would I be if I kept running up my bill, and just saying it's okay? And how are calories any different?

    It is not about negativity at all. It is about accountability and about taking pride in that when you make a mistake, you have the strength and resilience to accept the consequences and put yourself back at square one.

    I would feel much worse if I had NOT gone to the gym and made up for what I ate. Then there would have been guilt, and likely, poor results on the scale.

    By this rational, you should work out non stop and never eat until you lose the weight. That kind of thinking works with finances but it doesn't really make sense for weight loss. The only problem with making it a negative cycle is you're being too emotional over dieting and exercise. If you're feeling that guilty for having an extra cookie then its probably not a healthy habit to get into.
  • lmfbs
    lmfbs Posts: 69 Member
    Here's the way I look at it. I've got my goals to lose 1lb a week. That's a 500cal deficit. If I went over my goal cals every day by 500cal, I would be breaking even, which is STILL better than I was before I started. The reality is I go over my cals a couple of times a week by 2-500cal. There are days I go under my cals by 2-700cal. All in all, I even out, and I'm doing ok.

    I can't get into that routine of 'paying my dues' because I know it would be unhealthy for me. I go to the gym because I love it. I play sport because I love it. The reason I stopped exercising is because I treated exercise as a way of punishing my body and it stopped being fun. I don't want to feel like that again.

    But if it works for you, good on you. As long as you're happy that you're treating your body right, you're doing ok.
  • MeadowSong
    MeadowSong Posts: 171 Member
    I agree with you! There's nothing negative about being responsible! Just have a good attitude and go to it--like cleaning house after a big party. I sure don't think THAT's a negative. I'd say, though, you'll feel better the more you work out--gym, garden, building something in the backyard, cleaning the attic. . . .so do it all you can, then eat more and it's NOT cheating and the nay-sayers will have nothing to say! I just finished my first workout on my new weight-lifting plan and I feel great. I always feel better the more I work. P.S. had peanut butter M & Ms today and don't feel at all guilty because of the work I did!
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    I don't consider one bad day "falling off the wagon." I consider gaining 5-10 lbs of actual fat from weeks of eating poorly and slacking off "falling off the wagon."
  • annahiven
    annahiven Posts: 177 Member

    By this rational, you should work out non stop and never eat until you lose the weight.

    Is that what I said, by any stretch of the imagination?

    Maybe the straw-man making people can get out of the thread.
  • JenAiMarres
    JenAiMarres Posts: 743 Member
    I am starting to pay my dues...even if it is the next day...I am applying some of my work out cals earned towards my mess up day to ensure each week has a defecit.

    We shall see how it works!

    If I said tommorows a new day every day...I would seriously get NOWHERE!

    I went over today by 220...yes I am going to work it off before bed~!
  • TheAncientMariner
    TheAncientMariner Posts: 444 Member
    I work out 6 days a week every week. I live an active lifestyle. I generally burn 1000+ calories whenever I do cardio. Why in the world would I kill myself because I went over for one day? The work you put in to "burn it off" isn't worth it in my opinion. Plus, that's great fuel for the next day's workout. I don't feel guilty for eating bad when I want something. I only feel regret for not enjoying that cookie or that slice of pie while it was available (within reason of course). If my journey ended next week, then I would completely understand, but I'm in this for life, not just for a few pounds lost or a couple of muscles here and there. Will that one slice of pie or that 5 cookies a week cause me to have a heart attack tomorrow? No. Will it cause me to gain 5lbs next Thursday? No. It's all about perspective. If your guilt forces you to exercise, that's not a bad thing. Even if I go and eat a fat hamburger with a milkshake for lunch one day, I don't consider it as having falling off the wagon. Then again, I'm not on the wagon in the first place. Look up, I'm the jet blazing trails across the sky.
  • annahiven
    annahiven Posts: 177 Member


    If I said tommorows a new day every day...I would seriously get NOWHERE!

    I went over today by 220...yes I am going to work it off before bed~!

    Good for you, Jen! I am sure you can do it and that you will feel proud of yourself afterwards.
  • beckylawrence70
    beckylawrence70 Posts: 752 Member
    If I had the time I may work it off, but for the mostpart, I'd just do better tomorrow......
  • secretgirl4611
    secretgirl4611 Posts: 474 Member
    I am sorry, but I believe in paying your dues.

    I don't go out and shop with money I don't have. I am not going to run up a credit card bill without actually straightening out my finances the following month and pay off what I over-spent. Where would I be if I kept running up my bill, and just saying it's okay? And how are calories any different?

    It is not about negativity at all. It is about accountability and about taking pride in that when you make a mistake, you have the strength and resilience to accept the consequences and put yourself back at square one.

    I would feel much worse if I had NOT gone to the gym and made up for what I ate. Then there would have been guilt, and likely, poor results on the scale.

    about 3wks ago I did the exact same thing. I over ate and over indulged in my sweet sins of a double chocolate Ice cream cone, a cup of hot cheetos (which normally I just eat the whole bag but I measured it that time lol to make myself "feel better" not! but yea), and like a king size kit kat.. after I ate it I felt bad that I went off so badly.. I waited bout 40min. and I did an hour of Insanity workouts.. after I got done working out I felt much better and not overly full but STILL u kno... really its no way to go bout things.. Now I just eat one sweet treat a day instead of TRYING TO DEPRIVE MYSELF for a wk then mess up for a few days.. BAD PATTERNS SUCK! but I get where ur commin from..
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member

    By this rational, you should work out non stop and never eat until you lose the weight.

    Is that what I said, by any stretch of the imagination?

    Maybe the straw-man making people can get out of the thread.

    Usually when you run up a bill it doesn't go away until you pay it so yeah. Unless you meant to use a more appropriate analogy, that's just how it read. No worries, I wasn't trying to offend you btw. Just being realistic about things. There's a reason why most people who lose weight end up gaining it back. Its more beneficial to look at the bigger picture and just be healthy in the long haul. There's just little benefit in establishing bad habits, that's all I was saying. One bad day doesn't matter a year later. Its easier to learn to just not have bad days then get used to making up for them.
  • sisierra
    sisierra Posts: 659 Member
    I'm all for it! Then after I get off the elliptical 1000cal later I think, if I could just do that on a good day life would be great
  • vljensen6
    vljensen6 Posts: 5
    Here's what I do. When I have cravings I have one cheat a day. If i want fried foods, I exercise or eat lighter meals the rest of the day so I can have my fried food. but i only have one cheat food a day. So having multiple cravings is difficult sometimes, but if i want fried chicken and french fries, i'll eat the fried chicken and skip the fries. I usually find that eating one of the cheats eliminates the craving for the other and I'm still under on my calories for the day.

    It's still important to have days where you don't stress about how many calories you're eating, what it is, how much of it you're eating and being crazy over every calorie. That's just from a mental health standpoint. It's ok to cheat, just do it carefully and do what works for you. I hope this helps!
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    When I used to try (and fail) to lose weight, this sort of thinking was really detrimental for me. I was concerned with the imposition of external consequences for doing something that I saw as wrong or bad. I'd get terribly stressed out, thinking about how I needed to be punished or pay the price, or however you choose to phrase it. It was upsetting and made me want to quit because I was so scared of being punished, even if the punishment was coming from me.

    I only managed to let go of the guilt when I realized that eating too many calories already comes with its own consequence: not losing weight. That allowed me to stop feeling bad or afraid. I couldn't do anything really wrong, there were only things that took me toward my goal, and things that took me away from it. I don't eat over my calories because it's not going to get me where I want to go. If I do, then I know I won't lose as much weight in the immediate future, but that's all. I don't need to feel bad or be taught a lesson, it's just a matter of cause and effect.

    I suppose if that doesn't work for you and "paying your dues" with extra workouts does, then more power to you. But for anyone else like me, I think it's really the wrong perspective to adopt.
  • micls
    micls Posts: 234
    I try to track weekly rather than daily, which solves the problem of obsessing over daily totals.

    So if I go over by 200 today, I won't eat back all my exercise calories tomorrow. over the week I aim to have eaten my aim + my exercise calories, but not necessarily on the day I worked out.
  • christenwypy
    christenwypy Posts: 335 Member
    I try to pay my dues, if not the same day then the next if I can. But I think there is something to be said for taking it one day at a time. We can;t go back and change what we did before so there is no point to feeling guilty, all we can do is deal with the now. If we can do it we should rectify it If we can't for some reason, there is always tomorrow.