You're getting too skinny.

amshumaker88

Uggh, I hate when people do this. In my opinion, they do this because they are starting to feel insecure about themselves, and if they can make you stop than they won't feel as bad. I could be wrong, but that is what has happened to me before. The only way I know how to deal with it is by saying hey," it's my choice to keep going and if you don't like it too bad, I am doing this for me not you"

Wildheart_Baby

I had this from my mother in law recently, she thought that I'd lost enough weight and that I shouldn't lose much more, just thank them for noticing and that you'll keep going until you are happy and at a healthy weight for you.

LuckyAng

"Sorry you feel that way." and walk away.

vettle

This happens to all of us I think. I am done and in a healthy weight range. I have muscle now, so admittedly I must look smaller than I weigh. But a co-worker of mine told me my neck was getting too thin. MY NECK! When she told me this, I had been maintaining my weight for about 4 months.

This really bothered me. I wish I had said something but all I could come up with after the fact was that I should have just said "Thank You" with a proud smile on my face.

andreanicole686

Ignore, it's usually coming from people who are jealous or insecure. You look great!!

tiffanic83

I am going to comment on the other side of the spectrum. Your height and weight sounds fine for you, but if you want do more have at it I am over weight and I was very concerned years ago for mom when she lost 150 lbs. She had a lot of health issues and an eating disorder that went from overeating to the over extreme. Maybe your family truly is concerned and at least they care. My mom is 5'6 and got down to 150 lbs. She started to look sickly. But she was also overweight her whole life so a lot of that weight was excess skin so really she was more like 120. My mom thought we were all crazy for telling her we were concerned, but even her doc told her if she lost any more weight she was going to intervene. So no, it doesn't always come from jealousy or feeling insecure, sometimes it truly comes out of concern. That being said, its your body and if you're not underweight and you know it, I would just thank them for caring, but that you truly want to be the healthiest you can be!

JustJudy

I had that same comment made this week at work! She's on this journey with me so I don't think it's ill intended and she is a nurse, but I am technically on the high end of my ideal and think I can lose five more pounds and still be at a healthy weight. I have had alot of comments lately about how much weight I'm losing and I haven't lost any weight! So I just say, "Actually haven't lost any weight in months, just slimming down I guess." Just smile! :happy:

chauncyrenayCHANGED

If these same "friends" did not express concern when you were overweight, their opinion should not hold value.

batalina

Translation: "Stop losing weight because it makes me feel bad".

this, this, a thousand times, this!

the MOST crap i've gotten for my weightloss is from a good friend of mine who has always struggled with her weight. we were weightloss buddies a few years ago, but... she got frustrated and gave up, and i kept going.
now, most of the time when i see her, i usually get to hear some heartfelt plea about how concerned she is for me, and how i'm taking it too far, and how she just worries that i'm taking it to an unhealthy place. one time this speech was sparked by the fact that i was weighing my dinner. i explained to her that the reason i WEIGH my dinner instead of using measuring cups is to make sure i'm not cheating myself out of any food! i want to make sure i'm eating all i'm entitled to, because dammit, i love to eat!
one time she got cookies and i didn't, and she even spun that into me being too concerned about my weight. i didn't want a %*&%#* cookie.

how do i deal with it? i remind myself that it's the other person looking at me through the lens of their own experiences, and not anything i'm doing wrong. i'm nowhere near unhealthy. my habits seem strange only because i am disciplined, and most people aren't -- therefore, I'M the freak, somehow!

it's not you, it's THEM!

reneelee

I take high blood pressure meds


My husban has high blood pressure 130/90 doc wanted him to go on meds. A week before his next doc. appointment he started "hawthorn 300 mgs twice a day" his blood pressure was 128/78 . He is also taking 1Tbs extra virgin coconut oil a day and his cholestrol and tryglicerides where down. All this being said he was up 5 pounds, so this wasn't due to weight loss.

hiker282

I always go with, "You haven't seen me naked. And until you have, you're in no place to comment, thank you!" Usually gets a laugh or a blank stare.

MenaMena

I have a friend who recently lost over 100 pounds about 2 years ago. Your post caught my eye because she had a similar issue at around your weight. She too is 5'2" and when she got to about 135 to 140 people began to comment that she was getting too skinny, her goal was 120. She reached her goal and decided that she felt more comfortable at 130. The key is that it was her decision, her choice and because of that she is able to maintain the weight. You have to keep others out of your head. Listen to your body and your heart and then you'll know what to do. Good luck.

p.s. I love this one: "You haven't seen me naked. And until you have, you're in no place to comment, thank you!"

biged335

Just ignore their comments and BMI... Work to get to where you feel the healthiest. I'm currently 6'6" tall and 242 lbs.. For me to be healthy, according to BMI, I have to get to 216 lbs.. I would look sick if I got that low.. So don't worry about BMI.. As far as people say, I've been told I'm getting to skinny and I need to eat more and blah blah blah... Most of those people are just jealous that they don't have the drive and dedication to remove their own excess weight. I just use it as motivation...

Remember, You're doing this for yourself and your health

Articeluvsmemphis

I wish I had that problem, lol . . .

but seriously, if you know you're eating well and exercising being healthy then that's great

for me, i have a manageable goal to get down to, and then i won't be focusing on the number, just fitness level

if it's worth explaining, just inform them of your current weight and your routine, etc. that's just my personality I like sharing what I'm doing if someone asks or comments weird, it doesn't bother me

I determined my goal weight as a shot in the dark kind of thing, lol I did look at BMI range and I am at the very top of that. I think it's kind of crap though. it can make people feel like they HAVE to be in that range to be satisfied

kregerems

When you take off weight, and start to tone people will say that. As long as you are happy with your self and are healthy keep up the good work. I've been hearing those same comments for the last 2 to 3 months (lost 55 lbs since July 2011), but recently the comments have stopped because I've started to tone. Keep up the great work, and think, those people are just jealous cause they haven't lost what I have. Best of luck with your weight loss.

ProjectTae

I have lost some weight and a few people have commented to me that "I need to stop now because I'm getting too skinny". Technically, I'm still not in the ideal range for my height or build. Losing 10 more pounds would put me at the top of that range and lower my BF. I'm not really sure how to take these comments so I just laugh them off but they look at me as if I'm strange or have weight issues. I don't think I'm overdoing it but some days their comments make me second guess my goal. A few of these people are trying to get to the weight I'm currently at so maybe that has something to do with it. I'm also worried that if I stop here I'm just 5 pounds away from being way overweight again (too close for comfort imho). I prefer some wiggle room when it comes to my weight.

So how do you handle comments like this? How did you determine what is the ideal weight for your body?

Girl! I experience the same thing, I'm not technically overweight but basically if I gained like 7 lbs I'd be overweight and for me that as you stated is too close for comfort, and at my current weight (161) I still jiggle and have thunder thighs, I 'm just not really fit or happy here. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said "they want to be at the weight you are currently at " (paraphrase), They're probably so overweight that they just want to be where you are, and don't really understand why you want to lose more, but I just let my haters be my motivators, I think it's offensive to tell someone they're too skinny the same way you'd get 'pimp slapped' if you told an overweight person they're too fat! Don't second guess yourself if you really have doubts get a doctors opinion as to whether you're too thin because they'd be less likely to have an ulterior motive and have a more objective opinion.

MoreBean13

Translation: "Stop losing weight because it makes me feel bad".

^^^THIS!!
To find your ideal body weight, find your body fat % now, and use that to back calculate your Lean body Mass. Determine from the chart below what your ideal body fat % range is, and then assume you keep all your lean body mass, and then use that # to calculate your final weight. Its not perfect and you will probably lose some lean mass, but it's a great start. Around 14% body fat women don't have enough body fat to maintain their reproductive cycles, so thats where it gets dangerous. Abs become visible around 18-20%.

jadedone

It is hard to say. Scale weight can be pretty meaningless. Some people look fit at weight x, some look boney, some look lean, some look like they need to lose a few and others look like they need to lose a lot.

I love www.mybodygallery.com just to peek at real people's weights and bodies.

When people say you look too skinny it could be any one of many things:
1. You actually are looking too thin
2. They aren't used to seeing you at such a small weight
3. You aren't looking as healthy (glowing) as you used to
4. They are a little jealous

I am going to be completely honest. I am a BMI hater. Mostly because I am about 80% sure that if I got to "healthy" according to BMI, I would actually be much, much leaner than I would want to be -- probably not "bony" as I do have a decent bit of muscle, but definitely at a low and risky body fat percentage. So it doesn't feel like a very realistic goal for me. I do have a mental idea of a target body fat percentage. And and idea of what clothing size I'd like to wear, and how I'd like to look. So I am more focused on that over the long term. In the short term, I do pay attention to the scale, because my weight is too high at the moment. But once I get to around 2/3s of my goal, the scale won't be a good gauge of success at all.

So check your measurements, and your energy level, and your skin and other body systems. Are you feeling energetic, getting your period, have glowing skin and shiny hair? Then you aren't too thin. If you are getting cold a lot, feeling weak, have no period, notice lots of little hairs growing on your arms, look pale, and your hair starts falling out? Something is seriously wrong.

ladykate7

I get that too. And it isn't evn my weight that changes much, just tone up a lot, drop a couple sizes but with all the new toned muscle I still weight about the same. So I tell those people one of two lines:

1. Thanks for the concern but I'm working with my doctor to get my health to where he thinks it should be.
2. I'm 5'6, 148 lbs and 23% bodyfat, which is the upper for my height. It's safe for women to have 18% bodyfat. So I have a ways to go before there'd be any reason to be concerned about how skinny I'm getting.

Then I change the subject to something not health, fitness or food related.

i_miss_donuts

As other's have said - I think in large part this happens because our collective perception of normal weight is skewed by the more than half of America that is overweight or obese.

That said, I don't think many people (and perhaps even some on here) understand that once you have lost weight and realize that you can control your health, your shape and your level of fitness sometimes you don't want to be "average." If you want to see if you can rock a six pack, put on a gun show or get legs worthy of daisy dukes more power to you! It's nobody's business but yours, so next time it happens, just smile and say, "Awe, you're too sweet!"

caterpillardreams

HI
there can be so many reasons why someone would say that. It could be jealousy, or it could be like someone said they are used to seeing you a certain way. But you are free to make whatever choice you want to make they do not have that decision. When you wrote you are 5 lbs from being overweight, it makes me think you are not too skinny.
In my Spanish culture and family when I was skinny I got made fun of. "girl you need to eat. Put some meat on those bones." Majority of my family is thick , big booties and all, so growing up I felt so out of place cause I was the tall skinny girl..
And one time when I was getting fit a friend said you are getting to skinny. I listened and gained my weight back.
You have to do what is best for you. If they are concerned you can assure them that you are healthy and if you want you can explain you just want a better life. I learned to ignore some people, because they will say whatever, whenever. One person would say you should start exercising, then later on change their tone and say. Maybe you need to eat some more.
There is no satisfying others, and you can not go by their opinions, just what makes you happy.

tulip07

I have heard this soooo many times too. I don't have an answer for you but totally empathize.

I was 146lbs when I started, now down to about 131 lbs. I am barely 5ft 1in, so that is the high end of my BMI range. I still have a body fat % of 32% (according to some basic calculators) and a belly big enough to make me look pregnant sometimes

Someone I know went as far as asking me to put some weight back on! I just chalked it up to her being jealous, because honestly I racked my brain and I can't think of any other reason why she would say so. She is bigger than I am now, and trying to lose weight so that seems to be the logical conclusion.

But I am irritated the most by my sister and sister-in-law who are both barely 120 lbs and both much taller than I am. They wear size 2-4 pants. I truly know and believe that they both love me so I know they are not jealous (they don't need to be jealous, they are quite fit!) Why do they think I should not lose any weight. I feel like I have been branded as the short and chubby one for life!!! And they can't imagine seeing me any other way! I am sure they don't mean to hurt me, but it hurts a lot when they think they can be lean, but I shouldn't be.

ladykate7

I don't like most bodyfat% charts, but I'm biased because my goals are to be in the above average/ athletic category.

I have Tom Venuto's Burn the Fat Feed the Muscle e-book. He states optimal bodyfat %s are 16%-20% for women and 10%-14% for men. At these levels the person would look lean and fat free for the most part. He says these are realistic and maintainable for nearly everyone.

Personally, while they might be acheivable for the human species I still consider it an agressive goal to get in those ranges. Those ranges are certainly not what the average american is at, so any goal for this range would cause people to think you're getting too skinny when all your really doing is actualizing your body's potential.

mogriff1

My mom just said the same thing to me when she came to visit me last week. It was the first time she's seen me several months (well before I started this journey). I still have 5 more pounds to go to get to my goal weight and I am now finally within my target weight zone for my height and frame, but still still need to tone and lose a few more. My starting weight was 148 pounds, Current Weight 135 pounds, Goal weight 130 pounds. (I'm 5'3'').

I know what's best for me, so I don't take it personally and I'll keep going until I reach my goal, then I'll bump my calories up to maintinance (TDEE) at my current activity level.

They probably are not used to seeing the 'new' you. Take it with a grain of salt and do 'YOU'.

Best wishes.

hrtoftx

Im going to have to agree with what all the others have said. People are used to seeing us a certian way...when we start losing weight it totally throws them off. I jsut had this issue with My son in law...who actually got me on this lifestyle change and MFP. Hes has slacked off but I am going full force and sticking to my plan.
I started at 204 and have gotten down to 174 so far....I am 5"11' so I carry weight well. Anyway....I am wanting to get down to 160 which I have been before. He told me I have lost enough weight and just need to work on toning. He said his mom has an eating disorder and doesnt want to see me get into that. REALLY!! No way...I am eating right and working out. He told me he has never ment anyone as obsessive about this as I am. Whatever. I just laughed took what he said and still plan to keep with my plan.
My duaghter says its because hes never seen me this thin.......she gets it because shes seem me much thinner. Im not trying to be a skinny minny....I just want a healthy weight that is within my range.

coolclimates

I agree with some of the other posters...people may just not be used to seeing you slimmer. It's also possible that they could be secretly jealous that your losing weight and say you're "too skinny" as their way of venting? I used to be thinner than I am now (by about 7 pounds or so) and people were saying similar things. But I wasn't on a diet then and I kept losing weight. As it turned out, I have Celiac Disease. So my body wasn't absorbing nutrients and calories. But I honestly wasn't scarecrow thin. I was thin for "me" but not necessarly other people. But because people had never seen me this thin before, they were making these comments. My mom included!

CandaceyD

Too be honest, it's all about whether you are healthy or not. I would just consult a doctor to make sure that ten pounds less would be healthy for you, not just the generic weight for your height. If he says go ahead, then have at it. Above all,be sure you're comfortable with yourself though.

athensguy

I've had several people comment on my weight lately, and they are all obese.

I've also had other runners give nutrition advice that I didn't find to be true.

In one of the encounters I said, "Thanks, but I'm not accepting running advice at this time."

I think that will be my new response to all of the concerns, replacing "running" with "health" or "nutrition" as appropriate.