The full view

jempax

I had dinner with a friend last night and CRAMMED in the meatloaf, fries w/ gravy, pecan & blueberry cheesecake--- WHOOOOA!!! I went 635(?) calories over my numbers yesterday...I'll be fasting today. Not that it's okay to indulge and then think it's okay to just fast the next day. I don't think that that's healthy. But when I am weak, and I backslide into the sewer then I really don't have other options. When I closed out MFP last night it said I'd be 282.5# in 5 weeks if I continued to eat like I did...that's 2.5#s more than I am right now...I will have lost ground and added #s--maybe it's just a few #s but that's how it works: We eat mindlessly and the #s quietly add on over weeks, months, years. Since we don't see our whole body in 3D, as others see us, we tend not to notice these incremental changes as much. If I continued to eat as such, basically as I've always eaten, then I'll be the SAME OLE ME--fat and unhealthy!

[NOTE: What I am about to say applies to how we once saw ourselves, because if you are reading this you are making definite changes with your life after waking from an unhealthy nightmare, then you've begun to see the "true" image in the mirror.] I tend to believe most fat people don't see themselves as fat---just look at what they wear, it makes you want to wear blinders sometimes. The full view of our bodies that we ever get to see will always be in 2D...we only see height & width, not depth...so we tend to think we're not so bad. Of course we see the bulges and again we want to wear blinders which most of us do by wearing baggy clothes. We get used to it. That's just the way it is...we say we want to enjoy food and I'll eat what I want...but are we really enjoying life when our health is in the toilet? (I have prostate cancer which I firmly believe is a direct result of poor food choices over the course of my life.) We struggle with our weight which depresses us, and then what do we do, we eat more food to make us "feel" better. My younger sister made an interesting comment when we were looking at old pics, she said, "When we were young and skinny, we thought we were fat." We could plainly see, looking at those photos of ourselves, that we WERE skinny. Then why did we ALWAYS believe we were fat, even when we were in our best shape!? Yes, advertising plays an extreme role in how we see ourselves, but most of it is probably mental conditioning--through comments thrown at us by others, usually while in an argument which grow and fester until it becomes "stinkin' thinkin'" -- "If you always think like you've always thought, you'll always get what you've always got." --Stinkin' Thinkin'. Think about this, why do skinny people believe they are fat? I have heard my beautiful niece with her slim, runway model-type figure (even after having two kids) mention she thought she was fat. She looks great! She looks healthy.

Point is: I'm not going to get into the whole fat/skinny thing anymore...I just want to look, and more importantly, be healthy, period. Why I get into the MFP so much is that it's about numbers, it's about tracking stats and that revs my motor. That's how I got rid of a huge debt. I simply tracked the numbers. Now, as I watch the videos promoting a healthy lifestyle on youtube, I get charged because I now understand it's all about tracking your food intake for better health. When I say food intake I mean healthy food that will CHANGE your body, your health, YOU. Did you get that? CHANGE YOU! (That was a Holy Spirit thing right there, I'm tellin' ya. Actually, as I think about it, this whole message is a Spirit-filled enlightenment--I didn't plan to write this much when I started out.) I am really getting into this tracking stuff and I pray we will continue to help each other along this incredible life-changing journey. Let's make our friends list grow!

Jempax