To you "proanas" (I know you're out there)

Options
As somebody who suffers from an eating disorder, I want to say that it is NOT glamorous by any means.
Unfortunately, life isn't a game. You have one body. If you just got pulled into this, please, get out while you can. The longer you stick with this anorexia bull****, the harder it'll be to get free from it. I've suffered with an eating disorder for around 3 and a half years now. Sometimes I want to get better, and sometimes I don't.

I just want you "pro ana" people out there to know that this isn't a good way to accomplish your weightloss goals. The cycle I go through tends to be like this:

1. Lose a ton of weight
2. Feel happy with self
3. Tries to recover
4. Gains weight back
5. Freaks out
And then repeat. Over. and over. and over.

There's two choices. Recover, or die. I mean it's seriously all up to you, but please don't think you're going to lose weight and then recover without gaining weight back.
The reason I can't recover is because I'm terrified of gaining it back now.
I'm getting help once my school is out, and I'd advise you to, too.

And I KNOW some of you are NOT 18 or older, which is why I really want to address this. I'm only 18, and I know I still have my life ahead of me. I know I want recovery, but I know I'm going to need a lot more help.

You're worth more than a ****ty eating disorder.

Replies

  • nyxt
    nyxt Posts: 60
    Options
    This! And I hate it when people actually WANT to become anorexic or have an ED. It's just so sad that eating disorders are being glamorized. People are getting proud of having ana/mia (as EDs are fondly called) and it's frustrating how they're practically begging for attention by telling people over and over again about how fat they feel and how they punish themselves for it and "almost die" out of eating only negative calories or eat really little. I mean, crash diets are definitely unhealthy and disordered, even, but a bad diet done for losing weight quickly to look good in a bikini for the summer, for example, doesn't equate an eating disorder.

    I know people who even say that they went ana for a month to lose weight and when they do lose the weight they want to lose, they stop and eat normally again and they give reasons such as, "I got support from my best friend and she cured my eating disorder." That doesn't simply happen. When you have the eating disorder already, you say no to food simply because you don't want the food anymore. It's no longer about losing weight. It's all about the control and the discipline and that fear of losing that control. The fear of gaining because of eating something that you need to eat. When you have an ED, it doesn't matter how much you need the food to nourish your body and keep yourselves healthy because the need to have control is greater. It's just horrifying. And it even gets to the point when restricting is no longer painful, when the hunger and the physical pain actually becomes pleasurable. The hunger and the control makes you feel powerful and it doesn't matter that much how you look like anymore.

    Also, It takes a really long time before you recover from an eating disorder. You don't just tell yourself that you're thin enough so I have to stop all this or you don't just tell yourself that you must stop because you realized that what you're doing is bad for your health. Recovery is a very long process. I mean, it's extremely hard to have to let go of the control that you have, that power that you have. You can't just change it.

    So please, if you're one of those pro-ana girls, just please stop it. Eating disorders aren't good things. Stop it before it gets to the point where you actually HAVE the disorder already.
  • Pihjin
    Pihjin Posts: 63
    Options
    I had anorexia and bulimia when I was in my teens.
    What was nearly 15 years ago now and I still have tiny imbedded coping mechanisms (like always leaving a spoonful of food on my plate etc).
    Starting my current diet in January was terrifying. 15 years after my recovery and it was still scary. But I'm doing it and doing it healthily. (I'm 5"5' and going from 154 to 130 , losing just a pound a week constantly).

    The phrase "Recover or die" sums it all up very well

    Keep losing, keep damaging your body and keep inching toward death until an organ fails or you just stop living.

    Choose to get help, to recover, to face the fear of gaining and embracing the much great control and strength it takes to gain and get strong and healthy again. Choose to keep living.

    People who 'go ana' as a fashionable thing scare and annoy me.
    True ana is terrifying and true recovery is ongoing but so beautiful and liberating.
  • EmCeeKayla
    EmCeeKayla Posts: 53 Member
    Options
    It's just sad to look online and to find girls who are 12 and 13 who are looking for "ana buddies". Like I understand what they're doing, because I did it too, but not that young.

    I'd give ANYTHING to eat even a scoop of icecream without feeling guilty. In June I'm admitting myself into a clinic for the second time.

    People just don't realize what they're getting themselves into.
    But back to my other point.
    A lot of these girls who are underage and looking for proana help are ON THIS SITE.
    Underage. On this site. Using it for the WRONG reasons.
    I understand some mindsets, but there is a reason this site is for 18 and older.
  • wlaurel
    wlaurel Posts: 43
    Options
    Normal, healthy people do not "try" to have an eating disorder. Pro ana/ pro mia= anorexia/ bulemia
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Options
    I think one of the scariest things is that anorexia can make you infertile. That's one hell of a consequence.
  • EngineerPrincess
    EngineerPrincess Posts: 306 Member
    Options
    I understand if some girls use this site to recover, but everyone HAS TO ACCEPT that this is an illness and that it WILL kill them if they don't recover. It's past horrifically sad watching very very young girls want so badly to be skinny that they starve themselves and think that's the way to go, and then end up with an eating disorder.

    If you are a teenage girl reading this, get out and save your own life and the stress of your family and friends while you can. I'm not being dramatic, it's the truth. A bmi of 20 and alive will cause far more happiness than a bmi that's underweight, infertile, and causes heart problems. You don't want that, it's not beautiful. Your hair will fall out. You will always be cold and you'll grow light fuzzy hair all over your body. You won't have the energy to do anything, and you won't be able to wear the bikinis because people will be alarmed at how ill you look. Maybe you won't even be skinny because your body will go into starvation mode in order to save itself, and you'll stay in a normal bmi zone while eating almost nothing. Nothing will make you happy anymore. All of your relationships will come second to the disorder, you'll lose most of them. You won't be able to study anymore or do anything you were talented at before because your body is eating your muscles, and your brain is your muscle. So is your heart. Stop starving yourself and start eating right and exercising right or you will never be happy. An eating disorder is easier to escape the sooner you try, run now.