This may sound dumb...

Dozrzz

So I know I need to work out. What I really want to do is be able to go to the gym and work out like everyone else. I feel like if I am paying a membership to a gym I will be more motivated to get it done. Plus I love the idea of having a personal trainer and different classes like Zumba and everything. So whats the problem right?

I am terrified! hahaha It sounds so dumb in my head. But I never ever exercise in front of other people. Never go to a gym. I certainly never dance like Zumba in front of anyone. I get so anxious about it. I convince myself that everyone around me is wondering why "that fat girl" is at the gym. And even as I think it to myself I know it is absurd. And yet I think it anyway. When I lived in an apartment complex with a small workout room (two tredmills, two ellipticals) I had to literally talk myself into going and practically use the elliptical with my eyes closed and my music playing so I didn't have to think about what the other people were thinking about me.

And I know that the other people at the gym would probably never even notice I was in there. I can see how what I'm worried about is incredibly silly and I should just suck it up and do it. And yet I cannot bring myself to do it.

Does anyone else have anxiety like this? What do you do about it? Am I being totally rediculous?

ctraill

I have a gym membership that I rarely use but refuse to cancel because it's a great rate (23/month--and it's a really good gym too!) for a lot of these reasons. I get really, really, really red when I work out even at a moderate level and people always look frightened that I'm going to pass out or faint. It makes me feel self-conscious and I rarely use it. For me, it's such a low rate that I don't feel like I'm wasting my money or anything but if it's a high price tag, maybe wait until you think you'll use it more often or else it might be a waste of money. But it's definitely not a dumb anxiety!
I'm lucky enough to have a treadmill at home that I invested in a long time ago and a lot of floor space in my basement for weights, etc. but a gym is nice because they have so many more machines, classes, etc.

cannonsky

I know how you feel. When I use to go to a public gym I always felt like I was getting stared at. I still feel that way. But the truth is... with the exception of a few rude people you may encounter... most people at the gym are there to focus on themselves and chances are they won't even notice you unless you are on the machine they want to use. Maybe take it one step at a time... go when it's less crowded. Watch some zumba videos online so you can get use to the moves before taking a class with people. But do you best to not syke yourself out of going!

dawn1209

ummm, YES!! but that's why I work out at home

Dozrzz

I wish I had the room for a treadmill. I am currently renting a room and so basically only have my bedroom and then the shared living room kitchen space... I would love a treadmill though! If only it was like a 1ft by 1ft treadmill! hahaha

KeegansMomma

Do it. The more you go, the more confident you'll feel...and the less you'll care about what others think about you. The important thing is that you are there for you...to get healthy and lose weight!

LynC33

The hard thing with this is we think everybody is looking at us. THEY"RE NOT!! Its in our heads because we feel self concious. We are our own worst enemy. If they look at you it may be that they see a new face they havnt seen before. You know what I do if someone looks at me? I smile at them. It takes the anxiety away. Seriously everyone is there to focus on their own goals and have their own insecurities to focus on anyone else. Go for it. Zumba is fun, and so is the new Sh'Bam classes( basic, dance based class with all the latest music, and some classics...we had footloose the other day LOL) I always used to think Id be the fattest person in the class, but i was one of the smallest, so everyone there has a struggle. We had a ball,we stuffed up and made mistakes and laughed, but the whole time, we were moving and thats what its about.

Go with your head held high and be proud of yourself. Its hard going to a gym. Just remember why you're there and stay focused on yourself. Say hello to people and you wont feel so self conscious.

Nerdy_Rose

Truth be told, everyone is looking at themselves and thinking about how *they* look.
I know this may not help much, but 99% of the time, people are focused on themselves, not anyone else at the gym.

also, I recommend fun exercise - biking outside, walking, rock climbing, dancing, yoga, etc.

a lot of yoga programs are very focused on "no judgments" and that might help you get more comfortable with working out around people.

Dozrzz

I know how you feel. When I use to go to a public gym I always felt like I was getting stared at. I still feel that way. But the truth is... with the exception of a few rude people you may encounter... most people at the gym are there to focus on themselves and chances are they won't even notice you unless you are on the machine they want to use. Maybe take it one step at a time... go when it's less crowded. Watch some zumba videos online so you can get use to the moves before taking a class with people. But do you best to not syke yourself out of going!

Ok so I have to share a funny thought! I was reading your post and at the end I must have misread the last sentence because I thought it said "But do your best to not skype yourself out going!" and I was like "Oh Lord if I accidently Skyped myself Zumba dancing out to other people that would be sooooooo bad!!! hahahahaha but then I re-read it and it made more sense!

sharpeoplepc

You are not being ridiculous, but you still need to exercise. Do you have a friend that will go with you? Maybe that would make it easier. I go to the gym almost every day and I take all of those fun classes. I love it! It is way more fun than working out on a machine alone. I find it very motivating. There are lots of people in the classes that are overweight. Trust me when I tell you this..........anyone who is in good shape and seems to know what they are doing are focusing on themselves, trying to get the most of their workout. A lot of the overweight people are doing this too. Anyone who is not doing this is probably too busy trying to keep up to notice you at all. You will not be judged. Maybe try joining a YMCA or community center instead of a corporate gym, they seem to attract more Moms and less fake boobs, hairspray, fake tans and make-up (no offense to anyone, I'm just sayin'). You may find it less intimidating.

You are already good enough, but don't you want to be better? You deserve to do this for your self! F*&^ what anyone else thinks. This is YOUR body and no one has the right to judge you!

ka97

60lbs and two years later, and I still feel like that. Spent 6 months with a trainer at a private studio before I would even set foot in a gym. Then I would go just for the classes, and work really hard to get there early so I would be sure to get a spot in the back. I schedule my workouts so that the things I am most self-conscious of, I do when the gym is less crowded (e.g. Fri night, sat afternoon).
If you can, work with a trainer. Find one that you are comfortable with. It really helps A LOT. They'll show you how to work all the equipment, and give you workout routines/plans. Having someone to guide you through it really takes a lot of the intimidation out of it, plus you'll be working so hard you won't have time to think about the people around you and what they might be thinking of you (which of course they are not because they are so focused on their own workout). I still work with a trainer once a week just because I love what it does for me, but honestly a few sessions may be enough to get your confidence up.

PattiShakourCarpenter

This doesn't sound dumb...Back in September I joined a gym....It was hard for me to go by myself at first. I was so out of shape and felt like everyone was watching that I couldnt do more than six minutes on the eliptical when I first started. Couple that with the fact that I out~sweat EVERYONE there and you can imagine how self conscious I was.....But I kept telling myself that I was there for ME! and that it was so important that I do this NOW..... eight months later I am down 53 pounds and am now doing 60 minutes on the eliptical on level 6 not 1!! I still outsweat everyone there, but so what! I am there for me and I haven't felt this good in such a long time. Two friends have joined since, and some days we get to work out together, but I still go plenty of days by myself! I consider it a treat to be able to take care of myself in this way. Making the initial step may be hard, but once you get into a groove you will love it and it will become something that you look forward to! Good Luck!!!!

RoanneRed

Perhaps the following mindset ideas might help you (I used them myself when I was first becoming a gym junkie):
- I may look like I don't belong in a gym but that's why I'm in there doing the work.
- I look absolutely crap when I'm working out so that I can eventually look better in the real world.
- I'm not happy with my weight/size/body composition so I'm doing something about changing it.
- Remember, it generally takes about 3 sessions to get the hang of a group exercise class - you need to get used to the names of the moves and how a particular instructor guides you through from one move to the next.

AllTehBeers

I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way when I first started running at my park. For the first month I would walk the track but after a while I just felt like running, so I just did it. Of course I would look up and down the track and all around to see if there was anyone within looking distance lol. It just finally got to a point where I enjoyed doing it and I realized I was doing it for me so I didn't care if everyone on the track stopped and stared at the fat girl running. I also realized that everyone is too busy in their own head, listening to music (saw a guy basically air guitaring/ drumming while running) or focusing on their workout. I just put my music on, make sure my sunglasses are secure, and do my own thing.

I think that if you're going to spend the money, make it worth your while. Once you get familiar with the gym and the vibe you won't even think twice about it. Always remember that this is about YOU and making your life, health and body better.

Dozrzz

The YMCA is actually what I was leaning towards. I started at first looking at a larger gym but between the contracts and high fees and the fact that they are huge and have tons of cars in their parking lot all the time I just don't know if I could do it.

The YMCA does seem to be a little less intimidating I guess. So maybe that is a good place to start!

TheMissingSock

I know what you mean - i am that fat girl at the gym. But, I hooked up with a trainer early on who I check in with once a month and he gives me new/harder/different circuits to do for the next month.

Today I had a tank top on and one of the other trainers came up to me, introduced himself, and told me that he's seen how hard i've been working and that i'm looking good. The other "fat girl" in the gym that i've become friends with because she works out at the same time I do said the same thing. It was awesome.

Once a trainer teaches you what to do, you will totally know what you are doing. I plug in and try not to pay attention to anyone.

one other thing, if your schedule permits, go to the gym late morning, like 10am. That's around the time that I go and the gym is mostly old people. I love me some old people, but the way they creak around with the 2lb weights certainly makes me feel better about myself.

hongruss

To OP, I think we all feel self conscious initially & there is nothing I can say that will get you in the gym. But here is my experience, I was a skinny male that joined a gym to feel better about himself. Initially I had to use the small "lady"(I know you can lift BIG also) weights & felt a total loser & dork BUT I had paid my money so would try to go off peak & it was never easy & THEN I thought f@ck it they all had to start somewhere & I slowly learnt to relax & do my own workout. To the point that after I had "lifted" I would round my w/out with balance postures on the Vibro plate.

In the end I realised I had more confidence than some of the muscular guys, I would use a range of machines, I would do stability ball work & vibro plate, some of these guys are so self conscious they only come in a group, NEVER take their tops off & finish their w/outs early because the "BIG" guy just walked in & they feel intimidated by someone who can really lift!

Short version, pluck up the courage & DO YOUR OWN THING! Good Luck

Russ

ka97

Also....try a spin class. It's a great workout. And everyone is in charge of their own resistance on their own bike, so it's up to you to challenge yourself without worrying about comparing yourself to anyone else. But, the best part is....lights are off. So even more difficult to really see what anyone else is doing or looks like. Though honestly, most people are just so focused on getting through it, and controlling the sweat dripping from their bodies, there's no time or energy to look at anyone else!

misty0413

Its not dumb at all. You are brave I will give you that. I would much rather work out at home and save the money, or go outside around the neighborhood or a park.

Dozrzz

Thanks so much guys for all this advice! I feel better knowing I am not alone in these crazy thoughts! What kinds of classes would you recommend?? I am looking for something I can enjoy but that hopefully isn't too difficult as far as coordination! haha If that makes sense....I just don't have much as far as rythm and dancing ability! hahaha

PSTreasure

It is hard to not think about what other people are thinking when you are not happy with the way you look. You have to do what you need to do for your self. Not anyone else! If you look around when you go to the gym, there are people smaller than you and there are people bigger than you. And all of you are there for the same reason- to get in better shape!

It also helps if you have someone that you can go with. My daughter helps keep me motivated and is there for support.

Don't give in to your fears. Once you get past that, going to the gym is great! I am starting to enjoy how working out makes me feel. I hope you get to the place where you can go and enjoy yourself! Good luck!

erikkasusann

Doesn't sound dumb at all!
Gyms gross me out bc I'm kinda a germaphobe & I just can't handle it. I walk & run outdoors, do videos & stuff at home, there are lots of not-gym options. That's not to say that you shouldn't go, just that you can work out without going.
If you don't have much space, maybe try resistance bands?

rahrahrita

Nooo you're totally not alone! I think everyone is uncomfortable their first few times going to the gym. I've been going to Les Mills classes at my gym for a couple of years and I still feel awkward sometimes, (especially in Zumba because I can never get the moves right) but just have fun! Even if you don't get the moves, just go with it. People aren't looking at you, they're too busy worrying about themselves.

Dozrzz

Doesn't sound dumb at all!
Gyms gross me out bc I'm kinda a germaphobe & I just can't handle it. I walk & run outdoors, do videos & stuff at home, there are lots of not-gym options. That's not to say that you shouldn't go, just that you can work out without going.
If you don't have much space, maybe try resistance bands?

Resistance Bands are something I really have not tried. What kind of workouts do you do with those? I mean I know what they are and I understand the general idea but do use them with a video or just a set of exercises? or?

chevere94501

1St. there is always a first time do not mind what other thinks. everyone who goes to the gym or do zumba go for the same reason of you.

2nd. Do not call yourself the "Fat Girl".. You are pretty and a normal girl who wants to look better.

3rd. You can do it.. Don't be afraid to do something new.

Aeriesified

I do. I have BIG anxiety about gyms. I won't go even with my mom and sister. They're so pretty and thin and petite and I always feel like a great big ogre when I'm around the two of them.

I work out alone by strapping on my twenty pound survival pack and going for a hike. The trails are pretty bare, and I like having the time to myself. The cardio is great, and it's a wicked workout for my shoulders and legs.

usedasbrandnew

I have/had the same crippling anxiety. O.o So I would go, but leave if there were too many people... I turn a brilliant shade of red when I exert myself. I began the couch 2 5k jogging/walking around my neighborhood. A few weeks in and I can run at least a little while. Now the gym is so much better! I use the people around me as motivation! I like that I'm less fit than some of the people, but working harder/ running faster. ) Though I am still red/purple it bothers me less...

JD830278

I think it very much depends on the gym. Mine is at a council owned leisure centre and there are all sorts of people there from super fit gym bunnies to older people who have been referred by their doctor.
When I go to the gym people barely look at each other, they are concentrating in themselves really. But when I go to classes I've made sure I said hi to people and now I have people to chat to while waiting for class. I attended a different class from my usual one last night. Got talking to a couple of gorgeous buff girls who had been going for ages and I ended up at the front of the class inbetween them and I had a massive giggle doing it (I was the 2nd largest girl in that class).

I hope you go because, I've dieted before without exercise and I did lose weight but my body stayed the same shape. This time as well as pounds, I'm losing inches, my tummy has shrunk and I feel so much happier.
Good luck x

ETA: I totally go red and sweat like hell. That's what a gym is for

JD830278

Perhaps the following mindset ideas might help you (I used them myself when I was first becoming a gym junkie):
- I may look like I don't belong in a gym but that's why I'm in there doing the work.
- I look absolutely crap when I'm working out so that I can eventually look better in the real world.
- I'm not happy with my weight/size/body composition so I'm doing something about changing it.
- Remember, it generally takes about 3 sessions to get the hang of a group exercise class - you need to get used to the names of the moves and how a particular instructor guides you through from one move to the next.

Great mindset, motivating!

I would add;
-everyone is here for the same reason
-I deserve to be here because I'm actively changing my body for the better
-everyone here will feel insecure about something, even slim people

niknak30

Something I have learnt (through experience and also with conversations with gym junkies) is that the "skinny" people in the gym are not looking at you thinking"that fat girl shouldn't be here" they are thinking "good on you for doing something". It is the people in the shopping centre or in front of the TV or at the cafe or whatever that the "skinny" people look at and think "she has let herself go- what a disgrace".
Skinny gym people do not understand why fat people are fat- they dispise the fact that we are doing nothing to help ourselves.

It's your mind set about yourself that you need to change and think" I am worth it and that gym is here for me"
Do that, and you will hold your head high and be proud to be changin your life for the better. Another thing is- if you see someone at the gym getting great results, talk to them- they are always happy to lend a hand, explain something

majones_orl

No does not sound dumb at all. I have met really neat folks at the Y and we motivate each other and make each other accountable.

But just becasue you pay, does not always mean you will go. That is a committment you have to make. I have paid before and not attending. When I joined this Y, I made a committment to attend and work out, and so far, I am very consistent.

Keep us posted when you got. Don't over due it in the beginning. Don't try to do everything at once.

You will enjoy it, have fun, meet new friend and on top of that lose weight....What a deal.

Margaret