"You don't need to lose weight!"

miss_dreamer

Today I finally told my mum that I was being healthy again and trying to lose some weight. I had to tell her since I'll be going home for 4-5days and she was asking me what food I wanted. Which then brought on the whole "why are you trying to lose weight? you don't need to" (Just fyi, this is not a new thing).

Unfortunately I come from a rather large family, which due to a number of health reasons has only made it worse. Luckily for me I've managed to fight back the weight gain and when I was 17 I managed to lose 2-3 stone and I've roughly maintained that with my current weight of around 175lbs, however at 5ft 7 I'm hoping to get down to around 140lbs, which for my height and frame is completely healthy. Yet every time I try and explain this to her, she sounds so disapproving and half the time I feel that she thinks I must have some form of eating disorder. It just makes me feel so bad about myself, is wanting to be 140lb at 5ft 7 (medium frame) a bad thing? Sometimes I feel like I should not lose weight and just stay how I am, I get more criticism these days for wanting to lose weight more than anything else.

gaia3rd

I suggest you quit trying to explain it to her (and anyone else who is pestering you about it). I know we want those we love to not only love us back, but also to understand and support us, but it quite often just doesn't work out that way. Sometimes they feel threatened because they think your losing weight reflects badly on their choices, sometimes they just have a hard time when you look different than they remember. Stand your ground calmly but firmly if others are trying to shove food at you; it's your life, your body, and no one else's business.

sleepytexan

^^ Agreed.

You will encounter all manner of people who say that, or who say "you don't need to work out". Usually those people are not health-conscious people, because if they were, they would get it.

blessings.

MissYogapants

I know how you feel. It's so discouraging to hear people close to you tell you how you don't need to lose weight when you've decided to finally break free and create the healthy lifestyle your body deserves. Some years ago I told my mother about my bulimia, and her reaction was "oh nonsens, you don't have an eating disorder, you're not skinny!". My sickness never got bad enough to completely rule my life, and after about 2 years I had pretty much overcome it (though, it's the type of sickness you have with you the rest of your life..), even though I had zero support from scumbag boyfriend (now ex), friends and relatives.

After that I learned how to find more balance in my life and became healthy and physically active. I was just in the middle of the "normal BMI", were a size 8 and felt fantastic! And that's when my mother decided I had anorexia, and had all her friends call me and meet me for conversations on how thin and unhealthy I was, and how boys didn't want skinny coat hangers for boyfriends but instead wanted round and chubby girl with "more meat to love". Looking back now, I wasn't even close to looking anorectic. But my mother and my relatives are very old (they're all about 65 to 95 years old (my father was 61 when he had me ), and they were raised as farmers, so I guess that explains a little why they have a different view on the human body: it's meant to be tough and have lots of fat on it so you can survive when the crops don't. Or something like that, I don't know.

Anyway, and now I'm getting closer to the essence of my post I now live in a town where I hardly know anyone. I live with my boyfriend and spend my days with him. He's extremely supportive and interested in fitness and health himself, but during the years I've taught myself to be strong on my own. To try and look past people making stupid comments. They usually mean well, even though it doesn't come out right, and often what they say are based on the fact that they don't know much about the subject. Try and explain to them and see if it helps, otherwise just try and take what they say as a proof of that they care.

jching29

I come from a larger family (large frames, most everyone is tall) and pretty much all of them have failed on diets, exercise, whatever. They say it's because "we're meant to be bigger" but I disagree...I think it comes from a lack of willpower.

Anyway, every time I've tried losing weight, they've all been very supportive for the first ten pounds, and absolutely ripping after that: "Aren't you getting thin enough already?" "What, are you not eating today?" etc. I've just learned to not care. They can say what they want, but a beautiful, slim body WILL be mine, whether their jealousy eats them up, or not