I don't know how to feel about this site..

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2

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  • anaboneana
    anaboneana Posts: 195 Member
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    Please don't let anyone push into hurrying. It sounds like you are taking control and you should be very proud of the steps that you are taking. So this time around 'good job' and one day at a time.

    "One day at a time" - That's one of my favorite phrase snippets.
  • lifeskittles
    lifeskittles Posts: 438 Member
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    Ah well check out my diary I eat s***loads! :D
  • anaboneana
    anaboneana Posts: 195 Member
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    Ah well check out my diary I eat s***loads! :D

    lol.. Hey, if that's what your body is saying that's what it needs.. Then so be it! I'm trying to accept that "cravings" are present for a reason. (The body's way of saying "hey, silly, i need some of *this* so please eat *that*"
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
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    I completely agree. I think the site is great, unfortunately no matter what tools one is given, they're going to do things their own way despite people telling them it's bad, but what's worse is they spread that bad information so newbies that don't know any better blindly follow it.

    The site DOES tell a user that they have eaten too little if they log under 1200 (I believe, I've never eaten that little) but again, the site can't make that person eat more or stop others from congratulating them on eating so few calories. When people do try to educate them about eating too few, a huge argument ensues and the thread ends up getting locked.

    One of my biggest pet peeves is someone coming on to complain that they have only lost 5 pounds in the last month and a bunch of people sympathize with them and give them suggestions on how to lose more. I feel like I'm the only one telling them 5 pounds in one month is completely normal and very much on par with healthy weight loss, but most people want to come on here and lose 20 pounds a month....sorry, not going to happen.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    One of my biggest pet peeves is someone coming on to complain that they have only lost 5 pounds in the last month and a bunch of people sympathize with them and give them suggestions on how to lose more. I feel like I'm the only one telling them 5 pounds in one month is completely normal and very much on par with healthy weight loss, but most people want to come on here and lose 20 pounds a month....sorry, not going to happen.
    This.

    And other situations where folks come on and ask about something, sometimes utterly out of touch with reality, and folks chime in to "help" them achieve it, without stopping to consider if what they're hoping for is realistic, or healthy or even possible. But bam, you'll see "just hit your macros" or "add protein shakes". sigh.

    It's a great site. But like any internet forum, it's definitely got it's negative qualities.
  • chellk71
    chellk71 Posts: 69
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    I believe in slow weight loss and I don't have a scale now that mine has broken. I'm sure seeing others doing what you recognize yourself having done is frustrating. After all you know first hand what it does. I say the best thing you can do is offer suggestions without being preachy. Not saying you are or would.Some people have to hit rock bottom so to speak to realize whats up. Glad you are aware of your behavior and am working on improping your health. Best of luck. : )

    add me if you like.
  • mrpurdy
    mrpurdy Posts: 262 Member
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    There are lots of people starving themselves on here...most of them just don't know better. We've been taught for decades to eat less/move more--people just naturally take that concept to the extreme sometimes, and it is sad. But who knows, maybe if they stay here long enough, they will see success stories of people losing weight and actually fueling their bodies....then maybe they will change. MFP has caused me to re-think what I've done in the past, and I'm really grateful. I think it's an amazing site. Yes, there are people who abuse it, and yes, there are tons and tons of jerks and crazies on here---that's just life. :ohwell:

    ^^^ I agree wholeheartedly. I'm ashamed that I didn't know better, but I was one of those people who signed on here, shooting for a 2-lb-per-week weight loss, and used exercise to net less than 1000 calories many days, thinking that less must be better. :noway: I punished my body. And then I plateaued. Surprise. :ohwell: So I dove into the forums, found some fantastic individuals and groups of people eating to fuel their bodies and decided to join them and broke my plateau. I felt 100% stronger and more energetic. I'm still 5 pounds away from that elusive goal weight, but I'm not concerned. I'm healthier and more athletic than I have ever been, thanks to MFP!
  • ktbkitten
    ktbkitten Posts: 63
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    I just wanted to throw it out there that I am one of those people that eat 1200 calories a day. I also struggled with anorexia when I was a teenager. I was the chubby girl that started as the new kid the beginning of middle school. So you can guess how well that went over (especially when the whole grade was 35 kids...) And then I grew up and contiunued to grow out. Anyways my point to this is that I have a goal of 1200 calories each day, if I work out I eat more. I am not starving myself. I might be hungry when I go to bed because I am used to stuffing my face with junk around that time. I try to drink nothing but water, but I will still go out with my friends and get drinks. I still get french fries but I try to eat more of the heathy stuff. I think that each person has their own goals and while they might not be the best and most helpful thing in the long run, that is what they think works for them. Don't let other peoples choices have a negative affect on yours.
  • Nutrition1975
    Nutrition1975 Posts: 111
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    Thanks for the post - I was a competitive gymnast and staved myself and binged and purge my high school years and early 20s. I have a degree in human nutrition to learn how to fuel my body properly. I think eating 800-1000 is way low and if I saw that I would be telling that person to eat more. I think people think they will lose weight and they will, but it is so hard to maintain and they eventually will end up gaining weight when they eat again or they follow the path of an eating disorder. I wish you much success on your journey to a healthier you!! Keep up the great job and please feel free to friend me :)
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
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    I think you make a really good point. However, often people assume that since this site doesn't promote (as setup) an unhealthy way of losing weight, that people generally do it in a reasonable way. It's not always the correct assumption to make though.

    Congrats on your success battling your ED. :flowerforyou:
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
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    Thank you tor such thoughtful posts. This is a serious issue. Unfortunately the ones who need to hear it the most will ne the most resistant to it. I have given a pat on the back post to people whose diaries show they are eating garbage. I'm not supporting what they're eating....I'm supporting them being here and at least trying to to better. That's what I'm doing too. If I was seriously off track I hope one of my friends would tactfully offer advice.
  • onedayillbeamilf
    onedayillbeamilf Posts: 966 Member
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    That's a very interesting observation. I'm definitely guilty of congratulating without even thinking about looking further first. This was a good post.
  • healthylifeforme
    healthylifeforme Posts: 156 Member
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    I honestly don't think some people look at the diaries. I think people get caught up in the hype of how good someone looks are just goes straight to the reply part. I have been guilty of this. I don't always have time to go through everyone's diary and see what they eat. I think a good rule of thumb when selecting friends on this site is to try and screen them a little bit and be choosey. While this won't help the success pictures/stories that people post, it will make your wall feed more tailored to your needs.
  • Jdforg1
    Jdforg1 Posts: 2
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    Have to say I've been digging this app on my phone for several weeks now. I quit smoking three months ago not that I consumed much alcohol before , but now even less. Im 46 years old and was tired of feeling like crap everyday. I'm now exercising 4 days a week and using MFP to track my daily food consumption. I'm eating appromatly 1700 - 1800 calories per day. I feel this site and the mobile app are great tools if used correctly. Have to say after reading this message board I'm a little disappointed I signed onto the site. I may also avoid this area of the site in the future.
  • ideliver
    ideliver Posts: 114 Member
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    Agree with everyone so far. I started using this as an Android app, and didn't realise you could see diaries, so I was congratulating bad behavior.

    I am very appreciative that this site exists, but it can be hard to separate the wheat from the chaff...especially when it comes to peer advice, much of which is wrong our based on bogus science. As a guy, I find there are slightly different problems in terms of advice giving and peer pressure, but same general issue.

    Thank you for sharing.
  • DianeG213
    DianeG213 Posts: 253
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    I understand what you are saying. I always look at food diarys. I appreciate looking at them for healthy ideas. I had a friend on MFP that didn't log all the time, but when you took the time to look at her diary, she was WAY under a healthy calorie limit. Then she started eating only fruit. 800 calories of only fruit. But when she was under her goal, everyone would say "great job" and "good for you". I commented that I was concerned for her, and that what she was eating wasn't fueling her body the way she should. The next day, she hid her diary from view. I felt like she wanted everyone to keep cheering her on even though she was wasn't eating healthy. She even commented that on the days she didn't log it was because she was bingeing. I really liked this girl, but I did remove her as a friend. I felt like if I couldn't see what she was doing, and knowing that she was developing a big problem, I would be cheering her on right into the grave.
  • Mogwai1985
    Mogwai1985 Posts: 31
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    I agree. I look through some diet diarys and the options that people are picking for food are horrid and they are way under their calorie allotment. That is so unhealthy! I am almost always under my calorie goal but I use healthy options for my meals. Feel free to take a look if you like, you can also add me if you want/ need support.(Today and yesterday I didn't feel like cooking but normally my meals are very well balanced, my snacks are balanced in a sense). I just want to point out that I do use protein shakes, I use them as a supplement for weight lifting, not for losing weight.
  • bikinibeliever
    bikinibeliever Posts: 832 Member
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    You can friend me. You wont see any starvation going on in my diary! I can totally understand wanting to be with like minded people who want to fuel their body. I was on the other end, fueling too much. Hope you continue with your recovery. :flowerforyou:
  • Mogwai1985
    Mogwai1985 Posts: 31
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    Misshannibal

    I want to wish you congrats on defeating ED. I have watched my sister struggle with ED for years and its heart breaking when she falters.
  • ronkelley2
    ronkelley2 Posts: 66 Member
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    i'll say rememeber "ONE DAY AT A TIME" for more than one reason. i learned it in AA. but with food i find it is sometimes even hard to do because it is more hind able. in my weakness today i turn to half a family pizza to deal. i hope you find people to help get it done. and hope they are truely friends. not like some i have found that are hear to be social butterfly. lol. lol.lol.

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