Thoughts on happiness?

SkyMusic

Today's been a hard day. This week has been a hard week, and I just don't feel happy. Even when I work out and eat well, I just don't feel content. Music, horse back riding, and hanging with friends have also failed to cheer me up. I don't feel depressed or anything, just not cheerful and optimistic about anything.

When I'm feeling happy and sunny, eating well and working out comes easily. When I'm angry, the working out comes easy because I need to release the anger. But what about right now, when I'm just feeling BLAH? I have zero motivation to do anything...I just want to lie in bed all day and watch movies.

Has anyone else experienced not depression, but just a lack of happiness? How do you get yourself out of that frame of mind? Or are you the opposite - do you ever go a whole week with just feeling completely happy and productive? how do you motivate yourself just to keep plugging along?

hobnobler

I know the feeling and looking forward to hearing any tips and ideas on how to feel more positive and generally happier, even when things are not going really bad i sometimes just feel blah......maybe im just turning grumpy in my older age, or because i live with a miserable git LOL

musicianbob

I have a bit of self diagnosed depression. So I'd imagine how I work to get out of that state should help you.

For the most part, break something you "should" be doing into small steps and get a couple of items towards that "thing you should be doing" done. A sense of accomplishment, no matter how small, really gets my mood up.

Typically, I've found that my lack of motivation is actually procrastinating on something I know I should be doing. Like right now, I feel better because I'm studying for a final. (albeit taking a break at the moment).
Hope that helps, good luck.

o2co2

About a year ago, I was in a new town where I knew nobody and was far away from my family. I had gone there to work after being laid-off for 9 months. I was being paid, my bills were being met, all the people I worked with treated me great, the job had very little stress. And each night after work I would go back to my apartment and just cry. I thought I was going crazy, that I was ungrateful for the good things that were happening to me, that I was just being overly sensitive to being alone. I finally got a blood test, as I though I was showing signs of a weak thyroid. The doctor wisely ran a test for vitamin D levels. I was WAAAAAAAY below what I should have been. Turns out, that simple little vitamin has a lot to do with preventing depression.

Now I am not suggesting that you go out and start eating vitamin D. I am suggesting you visit a doctor that will take the time to listen and run appropriate tests to help find a balance for your moods. I know more than one person who needs "happy pills" to stabilize their chemistry. These pills do not provide euphoria. They bring the body chemistry to a better functioning level.

Finding a solution to your ongoing depression will probably not be an easy task, but it will be worth the effort.

YOU, are worth it.

tmarie2715

Today's been a hard day. This week has been a hard week, and I just don't feel happy. Even when I work out and eat well, I just don't feel content. Music, horse back riding, and hanging with friends have also failed to cheer me up. I don't feel depressed or anything, just not cheerful and optimistic about anything.

When I'm feeling happy and sunny, eating well and working out comes easily. When I'm angry, the working out comes easy because I need to release the anger. But what about right now, when I'm just feeling BLAH? I have zero motivation to do anything...I just want to lie in bed all day and watch movies.

Has anyone else experienced not depression, but just a lack of happiness? How do you get yourself out of that frame of mind? Or are you the opposite - do you ever go a whole week with just feeling completely happy and productive? how do you motivate yourself just to keep plugging along?

I m not sure why you are so resistant to calling this depression. What you are describing sounds exactly like a textbook definition of depression-- activities that once brought you joy no longer do. Maybe you should ask your doctor about it.

Saruman_w

This happens to me sometimes.... I just feel sorta down and wonder just what I'm gonna do with myself. It fades over time. Sometimes working out helps me get through things

EricTucson

This is a great topic. While I am normally a happy person, I have had some really difficult problems with my marriage. Not much can take me down, but domestic drama is my achilles heel.

A great book on the subject: "Happiness is a serious problem" by Dennis Prager. Dennis believes personal happiness is an obligation of the indiviual. Good read.

ncates00

Yeah, I know what you mean. It happens to everybody I'm sure. But when I think about what God's done for me, my family, and other things, I am really blessed. It's good to take a step back and just look at how good we have it. A lot of times we have to force ourselves to be happy. Sometimes things can make us feel empty. We can stuff whatever we want to fill the void- religion, family, hobbies, toys, jobs, money, etc. and it all can seem worthless. For me, it's about Jesus. I mess up all the time. Nonetheless, He loves me and has blessed me with salvation, a great life here and now, a wonderful family, a calling, hobbies, and other things that people do that we call life.

Lleldiranne

Today's been a hard day. This week has been a hard week, and I just don't feel happy. Even when I work out and eat well, I just don't feel content. Music, horse back riding, and hanging with friends have also failed to cheer me up. I don't feel depressed or anything, just not cheerful and optimistic about anything.

When I'm feeling happy and sunny, eating well and working out comes easily. When I'm angry, the working out comes easy because I need to release the anger. But what about right now, when I'm just feeling BLAH? I have zero motivation to do anything...I just want to lie in bed all day and watch movies.

Has anyone else experienced not depression, but just a lack of happiness? How do you get yourself out of that frame of mind? Or are you the opposite - do you ever go a whole week with just feeling completely happy and productive? how do you motivate yourself just to keep plugging along?

I m not sure why you are so resistant to calling this depression. What you are describing sounds exactly like a textbook definition of depression-- activities that once brought you joy no longer do. Maybe you should ask your doctor about it.

Agreed! Also mention your periods of anger and of feeling great. Sometimes other issues are misdiagnosed as depression because we don't give the doctor the full story.

neverstray

I can relate.

slrrese

I don't know why your afraid to call this depression either, I agree with a previous posted. I DO suffer on and off with depression but I also have a life philosophy that happiness is a choice; and we can choose to be happy with our circumstances in life or unhappy with them. I also believe that we make the choice that takes us where we are and we can make the choice to change what is not making us happy. I cant control what happens to me, but I can control the way I react to those things. I also focus on how grateful I am for everything that has got me to where I am in my life, good and bad... Like te saying- I am grateful for the difficult people in my life because it teaches me who I don't want to be. I also think that for circumstances, because they teach me what I don't want in my life. I guess really focusing on the things that I am grateful for and meditation really helps me when I am feeling down. That and my husbands favorite saying, this too shall pass.

crazy8ts

Sounds like 'ennui'... comes over me from time to time as well....

Music helps me all the time... got me through college... a drawn out and rather bitter divorce... and the daily grind. I can't listen to a Stevie Wonder or Earth Wind and Fire song without smiling...

Also, ever hit a heavy bag? Not a pillow or the back of the couch (avoid the couch... broke my pinky knuckle doing that once)... but something made for hitting... great release...

Good luck with it...

lisapr123

I can relate. Life has been good to me overall. but lately I'm dealing with some pretty horrible stuff. And I'm just not my usual sunny self sometimes. I still enjoy a lot of things, but not everything that I used to.

In 2006, my father was dying of cancer, and I talked to my MD (also my dad's doctor at the time) about depression. Knowing me my entire life, he didn't feel what I was going thru was depression. He said it was normal emotions.

I recall my MD saying that every day isn't rainbows and butterflies. And that if it lasts for more than a few weeks I should call him. But if it's a day or a week here and there as we deal with situational issues, it's nothing to be concerned about. He's a good doctor, and caught my mom's depression during this time and helped her with medicine and grief therapy.

During those dark days of 2006 and again during this rough patch in life, I learned that exercise is a tool that helps me deal. So even when I'm feeling like crap, I take at least 30 minutes for yoga/mediation or a high intensity ride (I cycle) and generally feel better when it's done. I find my motivation in understanding how I've coped in the past, and knowing it will help now.

Good luck to you!

Ange_

Now I am not suggesting that you go out and start eating vitamin D.

No need, just go out and catch some sunlight! Vitamin D is the only vitamin our bodies can actually produce ourselves from the sun!

This is seriously not necessarily a bad suggestion (increasing vitamin D levels). Perhaps exercising outside with some sunscreen on might be good to try. Or eat your lunch outside once in a while.

Nothing to lose here, so long as you don't let yourself get sunburnt.

sollyn

I can see a lot of myself in your post, but it usually passes and is usually linked to a layering of circumstances that are burying me. So hang in there, think of the days as duvet days and they won't feel so drastic. I think the vitamin deficiency is a good pointer. Maybe start a course of multi vits.
Good luck.

Rocking_Robin

Bump

astrampe

I just had this blah feeling this morning...Nothing specific, just blah...Had to go out for a run with the running group I teach, and planned on doing my own longer run afterwards..

Running group fine, set off on my own run and ran past an old gentlemen, with a walker (the type with wheels) and a definite limp in his one leg. On passing him, I saw that he had a hearing aid in his ear, and that he looks a little like my late grandpa (or the great Leonard Cohen, who could have been my grandpa's twin!:flowerforyou:

On the way back I was still feeling blah - in spite of the fact that a run normally helps...And then I met up with the old guy again..Still plugging away with his walker...He gave me the sweetest smile, said good morning like it really is a good morning, and then add a little "you're going good!" to it...I greeted and smiled back, and immediately felt like the most ungrateful little brat in the whole wide world...

Here I am, 44 years old, in perfect health, able to run and jump and enjoy the sunshine, with people who love me, food to eat, a nice house and what not - and I'm miserable WHY???

If this old gentleman can drag his battered old body out there and walk, and be friendly to people he does not know, and just enjoy life, why shouldn't I do it too?

Not trying to make light of your sad feeling, but it helped me a little this morning to look at life from a different perspective, and I hope that old gentleman is as blessed as anyone can be, because he just made my day!
Good luck!

purityandjoy

To be happy, like anything else in life, we have to work for it.

For example, to lose weight and get fit, we have to eat better and work out more. We can't just expect our bodies to be skinny, so similarly, we can't just expect our minds to be happy.

To be happy, like losing weight and getting fit, requires a mental diet and exercise. Set your mind to finding something that makes you happy. This might mean trying something new! I know you like horseback riding (I do too)! Maybe you can go on a new trail, or take a more challenging class. This could also mean rediscovering something you already love. Like reaffirming something you love about your boyfriend or your friends, or doing something you have done together before a long time ago but haven't lately.

I call it a mental diet and exercise plan because you have to consciously pursue it. Often it is so easy to get lost in our slump, when one step out the door could make all the difference. But like any diet and exercise plan, it is okay to have a rest day - so sometimes it is perfectly normal to sit at home and watch movies all day!

I really hope this helps you. It is what I do to stay sane. I fight being sad almost every day. I wake up and it is there. But doing this has helped me make every day count, and find happiness I didn't expect to find before.

neverstray

To be happy, like anything else in life, we have to work for it.

For example, to lose weight and get fit, we have to eat better and work out more. We can't just expect our bodies to be skinny, so similarly, we can't just expect our minds to be happy.

To be happy, like losing weight and getting fit, requires a mental diet and exercise. Set your mind to finding something that makes you happy. This might mean trying something new! I know you like horseback riding (I do too)! Maybe you can go on a new trail, or take a more challenging class. This could also mean rediscovering something you already love. Like reaffirming something you love about your boyfriend or your friends, or doing something you have done together before a long time ago but haven't lately.

I call it a mental diet and exercise plan because you have to consciously pursue it. Often it is so easy to get lost in our slump, when one step out the door could make all the difference. But like any diet and exercise plan, it is okay to have a rest day - so sometimes it is perfectly normal to sit at home and watch movies all day!

I really hope this helps you. It is what I do to stay sane. I fight being sad almost every day. I wake up and it is there. But doing this has helped me make every day count, and find happiness I didn't expect to find before.

^^^^This

Being "happy" is a choice one makes.

The state of happiness or unhappiness does not affect anything except you.

When you wake up in the morning, make a concious choice to be happy. Just force yourself. Just like you might have to do to eat right or exercise. Just make yourself be happy. The more you practice, the more it will make your day better, the better your day is, the happier you get, and it works perpetually. But, it's up to you. No one else can impact this for you.