The "If it works for you" explained
PercivalHackworth
Posts: 1,437 Member
I keep seeing people asking for things : workouts, food to eat, time to train, time to eat, time to sleep, grams of proteins, number of potatoes per cup of milk, number of honey tbsp per serving of oatmeal on sundays, and so on.
Sounds quite legit, but behind those questions reside a simple but yet quite tangible thing : the fear that the choices you would made won't be the good ones, and by extension, make miss your (not so much defined) goals : you would gain weight instead of losing, you won't have your six-pack, etc..
I used to be numbers-freak for a long-time, and what I learnt from that is simple : the more I was close to the so-called "good numbers", the less I was succeeding :
I wasn't working out, I was aiming a digit for mass gaining pe training, I wasn't eating, I was trying to stay within my calorie goals simply put I wasn't enjoying as much as I do lately.
When I walk, most of the people out there are running, some have that sad face, full of pain and misery, as if they needed to run in order to save their beloved ones.
When I look on the pictures on internet, body-builders have that face full of rage, as if the process itself required some self-loose, and as if the m.o for succeeding was beneath that stratum of hunger and outstanding sacrifice.
Truth is, the "what works for you"....is in in equal measure of your commitment.
You won't find out the answer here on on whatever website that would give you your anwser, because, yes, you are a unique snowflake here, but also because genetic and margin errors are everywhere.
The first thing you should do, is ask yourself what you really want, in most cases here, is to accept what you see in the mirror (upon said it right : it's not about a BF it's about accepting yourself).
A question that makes me smile, that I often see is "what would you do after you reached your goals ?" as if, one day, you would jump on your scale, and TADAAAA, everything is over... guys would come in, they would take back your running shoes, and you would have your MFP account automatically deleted.
Now, what you need is to look at the big picture, look for your health, own development, and strenght.
I noticed some symptoms for people who are likely to fail in no time :
- they complain about a motivation they lost (undefined and biaised goals)
- they beat themselves up for a "bad day"...
- ... yet they have their "cheat days" they quite enjoy
Few months ago, I was in that pretty much state (with of course the emotional eating, the uncontrolled pigging, and the ****ty workouts that weren't giving me the results i was looking for).
People who are imo succeeding :
- are often over their goals
- they pig and enjoy
- they are sad when they don't eat enough (that's my case)
- per-gram nutrient repartition doesn't exist
I won't give you any numbers, I gave kilotons around, to you and to me, but what I can tell you is :
Listen to yourself
When I train, I'm not eating, when I'm eating, I'm not training, when I'm bulking, I'm not cutting... things have their fixed time according to your goals, no more no less.
What are your goals ?
Few months ago, I wanted to be a thin as ****, and ripped at the same time....in no time of course.
Now I simply want to train, and look for sensations : feeling my back kicking hard, having my shoulders burning, and after that refueling with big plates. Since the day I've those goals, everything has changed in my head AND in my body : I gained and shaped in no time, my back which used to be curved since I'm a child is starting to be straight, etc...
Forget the scale
I used to weight everyday, like much of you, now I just do it for making sure I'm not eating enough, truth is, it's starting to piss me off.
what the scale will give you you already don't know? That after a small apple you gained 4 lbs ? Consider it as a tool, not as a judge. A figure in itself doesn't matter, it is the perception you have of it that does. Yes you gained 1 lb after pigging out, so ?
Count calories, don't lock yourself in them
I used to manage my meals per-calories, goal top-notch, again truth is, it's a bad move, because everyday, your body disposes of the nutrients differently, because HRM are biaised, and because all that fluff is as imperfect as us.
Genetic and bio-diversity carry their error margin, way more higher than the margin you are trying to avoid yourself...
and everytime I was going over, I was feeling bad...
Trust yourself, there won't need any room for broscience
Much write "I read you need", "Mr X said", "My colleague, a pro told me", "My ex knows his stuff"....what about you ??
I don't follow any specific routine, I don't stick to any timing.. I keep the basis in my head, and I like leangain, because it suits my lifestyle : big eater, fasted training, and don't give a crack about 450 meals per day.
Before leangain, I was eating every 3 hours...damn I had the feeling I was eating as much as my kitten...and I ended dancing salsa with the fridge.
so...what works for me ?
the trainings that would give you pleasure, the trainings that would make your shape evolve, the food that would make you filled, only you knows what they are.
Learn and forget...
Sounds quite legit, but behind those questions reside a simple but yet quite tangible thing : the fear that the choices you would made won't be the good ones, and by extension, make miss your (not so much defined) goals : you would gain weight instead of losing, you won't have your six-pack, etc..
I used to be numbers-freak for a long-time, and what I learnt from that is simple : the more I was close to the so-called "good numbers", the less I was succeeding :
I wasn't working out, I was aiming a digit for mass gaining pe training, I wasn't eating, I was trying to stay within my calorie goals simply put I wasn't enjoying as much as I do lately.
When I walk, most of the people out there are running, some have that sad face, full of pain and misery, as if they needed to run in order to save their beloved ones.
When I look on the pictures on internet, body-builders have that face full of rage, as if the process itself required some self-loose, and as if the m.o for succeeding was beneath that stratum of hunger and outstanding sacrifice.
Truth is, the "what works for you"....is in in equal measure of your commitment.
You won't find out the answer here on on whatever website that would give you your anwser, because, yes, you are a unique snowflake here, but also because genetic and margin errors are everywhere.
The first thing you should do, is ask yourself what you really want, in most cases here, is to accept what you see in the mirror (upon said it right : it's not about a BF it's about accepting yourself).
A question that makes me smile, that I often see is "what would you do after you reached your goals ?" as if, one day, you would jump on your scale, and TADAAAA, everything is over... guys would come in, they would take back your running shoes, and you would have your MFP account automatically deleted.
Now, what you need is to look at the big picture, look for your health, own development, and strenght.
I noticed some symptoms for people who are likely to fail in no time :
- they complain about a motivation they lost (undefined and biaised goals)
- they beat themselves up for a "bad day"...
- ... yet they have their "cheat days" they quite enjoy
Few months ago, I was in that pretty much state (with of course the emotional eating, the uncontrolled pigging, and the ****ty workouts that weren't giving me the results i was looking for).
People who are imo succeeding :
- are often over their goals
- they pig and enjoy
- they are sad when they don't eat enough (that's my case)
- per-gram nutrient repartition doesn't exist
I won't give you any numbers, I gave kilotons around, to you and to me, but what I can tell you is :
Listen to yourself
When I train, I'm not eating, when I'm eating, I'm not training, when I'm bulking, I'm not cutting... things have their fixed time according to your goals, no more no less.
What are your goals ?
Few months ago, I wanted to be a thin as ****, and ripped at the same time....in no time of course.
Now I simply want to train, and look for sensations : feeling my back kicking hard, having my shoulders burning, and after that refueling with big plates. Since the day I've those goals, everything has changed in my head AND in my body : I gained and shaped in no time, my back which used to be curved since I'm a child is starting to be straight, etc...
Forget the scale
I used to weight everyday, like much of you, now I just do it for making sure I'm not eating enough, truth is, it's starting to piss me off.
what the scale will give you you already don't know? That after a small apple you gained 4 lbs ? Consider it as a tool, not as a judge. A figure in itself doesn't matter, it is the perception you have of it that does. Yes you gained 1 lb after pigging out, so ?
Count calories, don't lock yourself in them
I used to manage my meals per-calories, goal top-notch, again truth is, it's a bad move, because everyday, your body disposes of the nutrients differently, because HRM are biaised, and because all that fluff is as imperfect as us.
Genetic and bio-diversity carry their error margin, way more higher than the margin you are trying to avoid yourself...
and everytime I was going over, I was feeling bad...
Trust yourself, there won't need any room for broscience
Much write "I read you need", "Mr X said", "My colleague, a pro told me", "My ex knows his stuff"....what about you ??
I don't follow any specific routine, I don't stick to any timing.. I keep the basis in my head, and I like leangain, because it suits my lifestyle : big eater, fasted training, and don't give a crack about 450 meals per day.
Before leangain, I was eating every 3 hours...damn I had the feeling I was eating as much as my kitten...and I ended dancing salsa with the fridge.
so...what works for me ?
the trainings that would give you pleasure, the trainings that would make your shape evolve, the food that would make you filled, only you knows what they are.
Learn and forget...
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Replies
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Truly the most awesome thing I've read in a very long time . Soooo happy that you re my friend, my friend !!0
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Ditto! Nice post, Thank ypu0
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Love it!!!0
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Love this!0
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This should be a sticky my friend!0
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This is so true!!
My downfall is that I havent listened to my own advice.0 -
thanks for taking the time to write this...i find myself very similar to the "old" you and wanting to become more like the "new" you. my first step has GOT to be to stop weighing myself everyday. thanks again.0
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Had to bump this up...
But I can't help but ask: how much did you lose? how long have you been trying? Nothing personal or trying to attack you in anyway, just curious...I need to find out what "works for me" as well.0 -
I agree but I disagree. I'm a huge proponent of don't beat yourself up and eat as you want, but there are a few variables that are widely applicable, like needing to eat sufficient protein (ie more than mfp recommends) and do some sort of resistance training to maintain lean mass.0
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You know what? U are so right. I wish I had the mindset to think like that everyday and be more free spirited about my weight loss, not depressed all the time.0
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Great post! Thanks for sharing this. = )0
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This has to be something we can stick with. We can't reduce our self worth to a number on a scale, or to an unattainable image. We can't walk around depriving ourselves all the time and working out as a way to punish ourselves for enjoying food.
There are all different types of 'disordered eating'. The step to becoming healthy and at peace with our bodies is to try to reconcile the emotions behind our disordered eating and take control. That doesn't mean swinging wildly, this way or that. You can't find peace in that chaos.0 -
Very good post. I do ask a lot of questions, probably a lot of stupid ones, because I am just learning about this whole health thing after 50 years of not giving a crap. But I do agree with the "do what works for you" mentality completely.
If you're miserable maybe you're not doing the right thing. I am trying to lose weight and get more fit, but not at the cost of being happy and enjoying my life. I'm actually enjoying myself in this. Completely. I don't feel deprived and am really enjoying all of the walking as well as the learning about stuff I never really thought about before. At my age I know I'll never be an athlete, but I can enjoy doing the things I can manage.
Inspiring post for those of us with the "I'll do it my way" thinking.0 -
I agree but I disagree. I'm a huge proponent of don't beat yourself up and eat as you want, but there are a few variables that are widely applicable, like needing to eat sufficient protein (ie more than mfp recommends) and do some sort of resistance training to maintain lean mass.
Yes, here comes the "what works for you" - like I said, keep the basis in head, (thermodymamic, etc...) no need to overdo things.
Why your protein intakes keep changing ? (no offense, just saw you diary) : because we both know having enough prevent the catabolism, but that's it. Are you able to tell me if you are eating enough protein, did you yesterday ? what matter is you enjoyed.
We will never know if you had enough, embrace genetics and your own metabolism.
Maybe you have a too big deficit according to your TDEE, if it gives you what you want, that is all that matter, really.0 -
Brilliant!
Hard to get to that space tho0 -
Had to bump this up...
But I can't help but ask: how much did you lose? how long have you been trying? Nothing personal or trying to attack you in anyway, just curious...I need to find out what "works for me" as well.
Well I had several phases; before the *real* fitness mentality, I suffered from AN that made we drop much weight (66 lbs)
I started to be numbers freak when I found nutrition interesting (3 months ago), and it's been only like 1 month and half now that my way of seeing things has started to change.
Now I'm trying to put good weight on :-)0 -
Great post !! It gets me when you post what has worked for you then you get jumped on by so many people saying how that is wrong, etc.. I'm like, but it worked, how can it be that wrong?
Everyone is different !!!
edit: to add comma so the grammer police will not lynch me0 -
Very good post. I do ask a lot of questions, probably a lot of stupid ones, because I am just learning about this whole health thing after 50 years of not giving a crap. But I do agree with the "do what works for you" mentality completely.
If you're miserable maybe you're not doing the right thing. I am trying to lose weight and get more fit, but not at the cost of being happy and enjoying my life. I'm actually enjoying myself in this. Completely. I don't feel deprived and am really enjoying all of the walking as well as the learning about stuff I never really thought about before. At my age I know I'll never be an athlete, but I can enjoy doing the things I can manage.
Inspiring post for those of us with the "I'll do it my way" thinking.
that is great :-) who decided it needs to be a pain to manage anyway ?
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Thank you for the great post!0
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I'm just glad I'm a "unique snowflake"!
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Such an awesome post! Thanks for taking the time out to share
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Great post!
Fitness (and life in general) starts from mindset. Mindset leads to action, action leads to results.
If you hate working out/eating right, then you are not going to be successful in the long run. If you enjoy it, then it's easy and natural to stick with it!0 -
I have to say, I don't read a lot of posts because so many of them don't help me. APPLAUSE for this one - best one I've read and one that, when I finished, I felt good about "what works for me"!!!!
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!0 -
Beautifully, beautifully written. And something that I need to take to heart. I find I'm always wondering what everyone else thinks I should be doing for more success. Some of it is just trying to seek out the knowledge...but, I admit, some of it is a fear that I can't trust myself to make the right decisions. I made the wrong ones for so long, I suppose that kind of makes sense. Thanks again for sharing your rockin' brain with us, Raz!0
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this is fantastic,
I have taken a break from counting because I have been feeling like it is consuming my every thought. My mind was not healthy anymore, and what good is a healthy body and a messed up mind!
Thanks!0 -
Bump!0
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Thanks guys, glad if it could help you to have more faith in yourself.this is fantastic,
I have taken a break from counting because I have been feeling like it is consuming my every thought. My mind was not healthy anymore, and what good is a healthy body and a messed up mind!
Thanks!
Same here, you wouldn't even imagine how much nights were wasted because of the calories counting. Sweating about my macros is not funny, sweating while training is better0 -
this is fantastic,
I have taken a break from counting because I have been feeling like it is consuming my every thought. My mind was not healthy anymore, and what good is a healthy body and a messed up mind!
Thanks!
Agreed with your last statement.
However, I have been always healthy, heavier or lighter. So my sole goal is to lose a few pounds. I did it last year by counting calories alone. Then I stalled. After researching I learned I need to eat more to break it. Then guess what...I ate more, exercised more, and I WEIGHED MORE...as a matter of fact, I went back to where I started right now. How frustrating! I don't know if I want to give it up yet as I know how good I felt when I was a few pounds light and my pants fit looser.
but now I am bigger and heavier than ever. What did I do wrong? Someone please help me to break my mindset! 0 -
There's a difference between being devoted and obsessed. :-) I think that's the fine line. I am a numbers girl too (math teacher.) I am getting better at not beating myself up for the little things. I just do the best I can day by day. Thanks for the post.0
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this is fantastic,
I have taken a break from counting because I have been feeling like it is consuming my every thought. My mind was not healthy anymore, and what good is a healthy body and a messed up mind!
Thanks!
Agreed with your last statement.
However, I have been always healthy, heavier or lighter. So my sole goal is to lose a few pounds. I did it last year by counting calories alone. Then I stalled. After researching I learned I need to eat more to break it. Then guess what...I ate more, exercised more, and I WEIGHED MORE...as a matter of fact, I went back to where I started right now. How frustrating! I don't know if I want to give it up yet as I know how good I felt when I was a few pounds light and my pants fit looser. Someone please help me to break my mindset!
It's pretty easy actually. It's all about putting things in perspective. Technically a theory exists about a setpoint, where the body adapts, but thermodynamic is what it is.
When weight is really stalled (it's been my case), only big moves work. Find a routine that suits you, and keep reducing calories.
Don't starve yourself though, if the def. is too big, you may have a blood test. I needed to go from 2000 to 4000 calories to see interesting stuff, try strength training if you want, that may help
The more I was trying to float, the more I was finding myself sinking ; and the more I was trying to sink and the more I was finding myself floating ;-)0
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