Husband wants to gain, Wife wants to lose... WHAT TO COOK!?

AzhureSnow

So, my husband has been away since January on a military assignment. He comes home in June. After 6 months of living apart, I've buckled down on my personal health and fitness, and he's been eating a lot of quickie junk food, I'm a little nervous about how things will be when he comes home.
He's very thin. Like, 6'5" and 170 pounds thin. I'm not. I'm 6'0" and around 200 right now. I'm trying to LOSE 30 pounds. He's trying to GAIN 30 pounds.
Anyone have any ideas on how I can create some "base" menus that he can add higher fat and protein ingredients to, but won't completely destroy my personal goals and lifestyle changes? I am aware that just eating smaller portions will help some, but at the same time, sometimes I want a big garden salad, and he hates vegetables. Actually, he dislikes a lot of things I've come to rely on as part of my healthier goals. He hates salads, any kind of condiments, most poultry dishes, eggplant, tofu, and most vegan foods. He likes pork, which I can't eat, and "meat and potatoes" (I know, how he's 170 pounds with a diet like that I'll never know). He snacks on chips, cookies, skittles, and beef jerky. I snack on celery with peanut butter.

Our differing diets have definitely been a hindrance to me in the past when he was at home because I am one of those people who "shows love" by cooking someone their favorite foods. After cooking one meal, the last thing I want to do is cook a separate meal for myself or live off Healthy Choice frozen dinners.

SO - BOTTOM LINE:
I need to come up with some good ideas to keep my calorie counts low, but increase the amount of healthy fats and protein in his diet so he can continue to gain and build muscle. I'm open to lots of new ideas for food, but he's pretty picky.

Input and suggestions are appreciated!

sarah44254

You can eat health fats and protein and lose weight.

In fact, that is a fantastic idea.

Cook the same for each of you, you eat a small portion, he eats a large one. Just watch your portion sizes to fit your calorie goal and you are set.

AzhureSnow

he eats more, you eat less...

But, for example, if I were to make a meal that would satisfy me at my calorie goals and still be filling, he'd have to eat 2-3x as much of that same meal to meet his caloric needs, and the amount of fiber I put in my meal choices would be REALLY filling for a portion that large. I don't want to have to cook a LOT of extra food, but other than adding protein smoothies to his diet in the morning, I'm really at a loss for how to give him the caloric quantity he needs without cooking a LOT of extra food.

taunto

Portion control will be the best advice. I know it'll suck for you but you're portion controlling anyways. He will like whatever you cook, let him have his seconds while you gnaw on your salad

Also, don't forget that even if you overate a bit, you can always burn those calories by working out. Sorry not the best advice but thats all I got

taunto

he eats more, you eat less...

But, for example, if I were to make a meal that would satisfy me at my calorie goals and still be filling, he'd have to eat 2-3x as much of that same meal to meet his caloric needs, and the amount of fiber I put in my meal choices would be REALLY filling for a portion that large. I don't want to have to cook a LOT of extra food, but other than adding protein smoothies to his diet in the morning, I'm really at a loss for how to give him the caloric quantity he needs without cooking a LOT of extra food.

If he's hungry and you're not, whats wrong with him having 2-3 servings? Also, you can make him snacks like a protein shake or something. Snacks are awesome for addition of calories, I have them all the time when I still have alot of calories left over. Lentil soups are also good along with bean or bean dishes (hummus for a nice snack?).

BTW, if he's trying to gain weight but isn't too hungry, ask him to start lifting weight. It usually spikes my apetite whenever I lift weights

Sidesteal

he eats more, you eat less...

^ It really is this simple.

EDIT: Have him mix a whey protein shake with 1c of dry quick oats and 2tbs of peanut butter and mix it with full fat milk instead of water. Should be about (I'm estimating) 590 calories per shake. Have him take one or two per day as needed if he's having an issue eating enough (LOL).

annabellj

ok all my teenage boys are pretty thin for the most part. they are not trying to diet at all. so what I do is cook a regular meal for us, lets say hubby grills chicken, I grill asparagus with oil and garlic salt, then I add some mashed potatoes, velveeta shells and cheese and crescent rolls for the kids. then hubby can pick what he wants and I only eat the chicken and asparagus and add a salad for myself. I dont like the mashed potatoes or shells and cheese or for the most part the crescents, sometimes I eat one. but if you need to, add in something with cheese or nuts, something with higher calories or keep some sweets on hand that you dont like that he does, like the kids like skittles, I dont, the kids like ice cream with candies on the top, I dont, just dont bring anything in the house that you would want to eat the entire package of. go to the store with hubby and find some things together that he likes that wont be a problem for you!

MNchick

Keep making the main dishes that you have found work for you and have different sides available for him.

A baked potato, pasta, rice, fresh bread...those are things that helped 'round out' a meal for my ex, and I was able to but I was able to enjoy an awesome side salad or other veggies instead!

WonderKP

You can eat health fats and protein and lose weight.

In fact, that is a fantastic idea.

Cook the same for each of you, you eat a small portion, he eats a large one. Just watch your portion sizes to fit your calorie goal and you are set.

I totally agree with this...that's how I'm trying to lose weight! Have like chicken and veggies, and he can load up on the carbs from a dinner roll or something. You just have the same meal, without (or at least have whole grain) carbs.

AzhureSnow

ok all my teenage boys are pretty thin for the most part. they are not trying to diet at all. so what I do is cook a regular meal for us, lets say hubby grills chicken, I grill asparagus with oil and garlic salt, then I add some mashed potatoes, velveeta shells and cheese and crescent rolls for the kids. then hubby can pick what he wants and I only eat the chicken and asparagus and add a salad for myself. I dont like the mashed potatoes or shells and cheese or for the most part the crescents, sometimes I eat one. but if you need to, add in something with cheese or nuts, something with higher calories or keep some sweets on hand that you dont like that he does, like the kids like skittles, I dont, the kids like ice cream with candies on the top, I dont, just dont bring anything in the house that you would want to eat the entire package of. go to the store with hubby and find some things together that he likes that wont be a problem for you!

Glad I'm not the only one with a split household.
One thing we already did before he left was add pasta to his soups and stuff since he likes more "substance" than broth. I would just eat regular soup, he added an extra serving of pasta to his. I finally got him to start eating guacamole too, which is another source.

I guess I'll look into what people have said - just cooking a little more of the same food and letting him eat his fill, but avoiding the second helping myself.

I think the WORST part is when he decides he wants ice cream or fudge brownies or chocolate chip cookies. I have the HARDEST time saying no in times like that. Lately, i've fallen in love with TCBY's fro-yo (the White Chocolate Mousse flavor is to die for, and 98% fat free!). I keep trying to talk him into it, but he always wants some gargantuan concoction from ColdStone! Oh, marriage and the art of compromise!

AzhureSnow

he eats more, you eat less...

^ It really is this simple.

EDIT: Have him mix a whey protein shake with 1c of dry quick oats and 2tbs of peanut butter and mix it with full fat milk instead of water. Should be about (I'm estimating) 590 calories per shake. Have him take one or two per day as needed if he's having an issue eating enough (LOL).

ha, I make a very similar shake for post workout. 2 cups milk, 1 banana, 1 cup oatmeal, 2tbs peanut butter, 2 scoops chocolate whey. It's 1,135 calories. Add 4tbs peanutbutters and you're up to about 1,300-1,400

WOW! - that sounds... heavy! But for him, that might help. He's not a huge peanut butter fan, but I bet I could keep it from tasting too much like peanut butter for him.

He does tend to have some trouble filling up all 2600 calories each day... mostly because he has an insanely demanding schedule that keeps him busy during "working lunches" where no one actually eats anything.

jenboyer

big juicy burger for him, and minus the bun and sauces plus a handful of lettus for you and viola! you have yourself a hearty salad. I also found a great recipe for healthy baked onion rings (he'll never know they are low cal, but you will!)
http://www.skinnytaste.com/2011/03/low-fat-baked-onion-rings.html

theres always pinterest:)

Heatherbelle_87

Pick the leaner meats that you enjoy eating (and can eat in moderate portions) and he can eat in larger portions as your base. Such as Chicken, lean steaks, and seafood (if you're seafood eaters) Keep a bag of chopped lettuce (I pre-chop myself) in the fridge so you can through yourself together a salad, make a rice or pasta side dish for him (and you can have a half or full portion depending on your caloric intake for the day).

This meets his needs of protein and carbs to gain weight, and you can (and will have to) have the will power to just NOT eat the carbs! You will eat the same, but slightly different things.

Breakfast: Make scrambled egg whites for you, and scrambled eggs with sausage and cheese for him (well loved dish in this house). You can have it with the sausage but not the cheese. Again increased fat and calories for him (he would have whole eggs and the extra sausage/cheese & sausage) but something you can make for both of you.

This way his gain is by healthy muscle building foods (which the army would prefer he do it this way!) and you still lose with lean protein and veggies! You can pick up protein bars and protein shakes for him so he can have nutrient dense snacks and just request if he eats junk he eats it at work!

AzhureSnow

Keep making the main dishes that you have found work for you and have different sides available for him.

A baked potato, pasta, rice, fresh bread...those are things that helped 'round out' a meal for my ex, and I was able to but I was able to enjoy an awesome side salad or other veggies instead!

Oh goodness! If there was fresh bread in the house I'd be DOOMED! A nice warm loaf of Italian bread with pesto on it is one of my guiltiest pleasures!

Sidesteal

WOW! - that sounds... heavy! But for him, that might help. He's not a huge peanut butter fan, but I bet I could keep it from tasting too much like peanut butter for him.

He does tend to have some trouble filling up all 2600 calories each day... mostly because he has an insanely demanding schedule that keeps him busy during "working lunches" where no one actually eats anything.

It should be relatively painless to create some sort of a shake similar to what I or Pu_ posted and you can juggle the quantities a bit to get it near the desired calorie range. Anywhere from 1 to 3 scoops of whey will give you about 120-360 kcals, and a full cup of oats is like 300 calories I think (just put the dry oats in the shake and he can drink it). Banana and/or PB tastes damn good with oatmeal in the shake.

Anyways, you can take this idea and modify it to suit his taste buds.

annabellj

ok all my teenage boys are pretty thin for the most part. they are not trying to diet at all. so what I do is cook a regular meal for us, lets say hubby grills chicken, I grill asparagus with oil and garlic salt, then I add some mashed potatoes, velveeta shells and cheese and crescent rolls for the kids. then hubby can pick what he wants and I only eat the chicken and asparagus and add a salad for myself. I dont like the mashed potatoes or shells and cheese or for the most part the crescents, sometimes I eat one. but if you need to, add in something with cheese or nuts, something with higher calories or keep some sweets on hand that you dont like that he does, like the kids like skittles, I dont, the kids like ice cream with candies on the top, I dont, just dont bring anything in the house that you would want to eat the entire package of. go to the store with hubby and find some things together that he likes that wont be a problem for you!

Glad I'm not the only one with a split household.
One thing we already did before he left was add pasta to his soups and stuff since he likes more "substance" than broth. I would just eat regular soup, he added an extra serving of pasta to his. I finally got him to start eating guacamole too, which is another source.

I guess I'll look into what people have said - just cooking a little more of the same food and letting him eat his fill, but avoiding the second helping myself.

I think the WORST part is when he decides he wants ice cream or fudge brownies or chocolate chip cookies. I have the HARDEST time saying no in times like that. Lately, i've fallen in love with TCBY's fro-yo (the White Chocolate Mousse flavor is to die for, and 98% fat free!). I keep trying to talk him into it, but he always wants some gargantuan concoction from ColdStone! Oh, marriage and the art of compromise!

do not bring it into the house! go there, have one serving of whatever you want, count it, and be done! that would be the death of me. i could not control myself. i eat the skinny cow ice cream sandwiches, and we have some ww desserts or I make jello. but he has to understand that you need to be able to control what comes in the house at least in the beginning. I thought I had things under control myself. we bought some fudge a couple weekends ago, who ate most of it? me!

Pacileo4Evers

OMG! im in the same circumstance!!! damn army boys and there fast metabolism

AzhureSnow

This is more of a vegeterian style shake.

½ cup water (best: alkaline water)
½ avocado
1 cup chopped broccoli
½ cup cashew nuts
½ cup alfalfa sprouts
1 clove of garlic
1 tbsp. cold pressed extra virgin olive oil
1 pinch of sea salt and pepper

also has about 1000 calories.

So sad... that sounds like something I would eat! But at 1000 calories, I couldn't eat anything else!!!

Not sure if he'd go for that one, just because he's so anti-veggie, but it sounds delicious. I love green smoothies.

JenAiMarres

he eats more, you eat less...

^ It really is this simple.

EDIT: Have him mix a whey protein shake with 1c of dry quick oats and 2tbs of peanut butter and mix it with full fat milk instead of water. Should be about (I'm estimating) 590 calories per shake. Have him take one or two per day as needed if he's having an issue eating enough (LOL).

ha, I make a very similar shake for post workout. 2 cups milk, 1 banana, 1 cup oatmeal, 2tbs peanut butter, 2 scoops chocolate whey. It's 1,135 calories. Add 4tbs peanutbutters and you're up to about 1,300-1,400

Hubs is bulking...I'm not...his shakes are minimum 1200 cals and are a lot like these...he also adds coconut oil..And full fat ice cream...omg...they are so freaking good...

But for dinners etc...we eat a lot of the same foods (chicken and veggies) but I give him wayyyyy more and he gets a starch like rice or potatoes.

When I make him carb insane dishes (ziti etc...) or fried chicken Italian cutlets I will just have a couple little bites and/or make a separate little meal for me!

Men are so lucky...I'm hungry typing this!

jenj1313

Does he have a fridge nearby his "work" lunches, or is he in the field? I'm thinking if he sticks an 1100 calorie protein shake into the middle of his day, maybe he won't be quite as hungry at night? If there's no fridge, make the smoothie the night before, put it in a shaker bottle, freeze it and it'll thaw by lunch (might need an insulated bag... he'd have to play with timing).

And instead of peanut butter, you could use nutella, or they make flavored peanut butters. Or just add a little more protein powder + some whole honey to sweeten it a bit. Or try almond or cashew butter.

If you can get him to eat 3/4-7/8 of an avocado in his soup to thicken it up, you can keep the other portion as a topper for a side salad for you. Add frozen garlic bread to his meals to up his calories and give him something that feels filling. That way there's not a lot of prep time for you... just stick it in the over or toaster oven while you're making the main portions.

Sides like potatoes, pasta and rice mixes (think Uncle Ben's, Rice-a-Roni, etc) also sound like a good option that would be quick and relatively easy to add. Also, if he doesn't object to left overs, you could just make a big batch of mashed potatoes or rice at the beginning of the week and he could have it as a side all week long.

Baked sweet potatoes are good too... my boyfriend eats a whole one with butter, cinnamon and sugar and I eat half of one with just the tiniest sliver of butter + salt and pepper, then take the other half for lunch the next day. You can bake a bunch of those ahead of time too. Or... throw them on the grill and you've got an hour or so to get the rest of dinner ready. If it doesn't take that long, sit down and relax for a few, then start cooking!

Hope that helps :-)
Good luck to both of you!
Jen

jessmars

what about:
-Wheat pasta, tomato sauce and ground turkey meatballs then make him garlic bread
-BBQ a piece of chicken for you and pork for him but marinate it the same bag.....make yourself a sweet potato and him a baked potato with all the fixings....it can all be cooked the same in the same way at the same time
- if you make broccoli as a side....add shredded cheese to his portion and not yours
- make burgers, just lettuce wrap yours
- shrimp fettuccine Alfredo....just dont sauce yours, throw roasted veggies and olive oil in yours

Or what if you make stuff on the weekend that you can heat up real quick for either you or him. Make mashed potatoes on the weekend(for him), they store well and heat up well....then all you have to do is make the protein at night.

sometimes I pre make salads on the weekend for the week for me....put the lettuce and all the goodies minus the dressing in a bag so i can easily dump in a bowl. and just add my olive oil & balsamic vinegar...

as far as snacks...buy the 100 calorie bags, that way he can eat all the "junk" he wants and if you happen to dabble in it you only grabbed 100 calories