...Can a hookup turn into something more?
I just want everyone's opinion.
Do you think that a casual hookup could ever turn into something else?
(Back story for anyone that cares)
-I met this guy about a year ago. Him and I saw each other around a few times before we ended up hooking up. It has become a sort of re-occuring thing now. Whenever we're both single and we run into each other we end up going home together. The last time this happened something sort of strange happened. We didn't go straight to bed as always. Instead we kind of sat around and talked a lot. About everything. He said we should hang out during the day. "Grab dinner or see a movie or something." He said he doesn't like the fact that we only hang out when we run into each other, and that he'd like to see me more often. Should I find this strange? Or just that he'd like to hook up more often?
It's got me over thinking a bit. I just need unbiased opinions.
Do you think that a casual hookup could ever turn into something else?
(Back story for anyone that cares)
-I met this guy about a year ago. Him and I saw each other around a few times before we ended up hooking up. It has become a sort of re-occuring thing now. Whenever we're both single and we run into each other we end up going home together. The last time this happened something sort of strange happened. We didn't go straight to bed as always. Instead we kind of sat around and talked a lot. About everything. He said we should hang out during the day. "Grab dinner or see a movie or something." He said he doesn't like the fact that we only hang out when we run into each other, and that he'd like to see me more often. Should I find this strange? Or just that he'd like to hook up more often?
It's got me over thinking a bit. I just need unbiased opinions.
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Replies
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I don't find anything strange about it. I can't imagine being with a person intimately and not ever wanting to have at least a bit of a connection on a more than physical level. The long talk would seem to indicate that it isn't just about hooking up more frequently.
Just my opinion.0 -
Of course hook ups can turn into something more.
Here's a little background on my current relationship.
I was friends with my current bf's friends before I ever even met him. He was coming home from boot camp and all of his friends dragged me along to go pick him up out of town. Everyone told us we would hit it off blah blah blah, I saw a picture of him and said nope, not my type at all. I met him and of course everyone was right, we hooked up the second day of knowing each other. Of course I didn't know where it would take us, but we will be together 5 year in October.
See where it takes you, might be something great! (:0 -
I don't find anything strange about it. I can't imagine being with a person intimately and not ever wanting to have at least a bit of a connection on a more than physical level. The long talk would seem indicate that it isn't just about hooking up more frequently.
Just my opinion.
I agree0 -
He likes you. Now figure out if you like him. If you do go be happy.0
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Trying to figure out how I feel about it is even more confusing0
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In answer to your question, yes it can. I had a one-nighter with my husband twenty years ago and he never went away!
But I agree that you shouldn't just go along with what he wants. What do you want?0 -
Trying to figure out how I feel about it is even more confusing
Do you like the time you share with him? Is he a good person? When y'all talked the other night was it interesting?0 -
Trying to figure out how I feel about it is even more confusing
well I hope asking a large group of stramgers who cant even agree on diet soda will help.0 -
Going out on a few dates with him might help you figure out how you feel....unless really you just want to keep your relationship at the current level because it's working well so far (which is fine, but you should probably let him know that you don't want anything more).Trying to figure out how I feel about it is even more confusing0 -
I met a guy, we "hooked up" (so to speak, long story), then we kept hanging out. I married him two years later.0
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.0
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One of my hook ups turned into a 7 year relationship.
It was 7 years of pure hell though, so probably not the best example.0 -
There's a saying, "Why buy the cow, when the milk is free"0
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Trying to figure out how I feel about it is even more confusing
well I hope asking a large group of stramgers who cant even agree on diet soda will help.
hahahahaha This made me giggle!!
I dont have anything further to add though. Most of my relationships have started from a casual hook up but none have lasted for me. I think I'm too picky though! xxx0 -
I don't believe in casual hookups. I don't think it does anyone any good and leads to low self esteem. I think when you finally find that special someone you will be glad you waited. You asked for my opinion.
I dont agree. If I was 15 years younger and single, I'd hook up more. I have always had good self esteem, but lousy sex. Now I know better. I'd have kept looking instead of settling for my ex.....you have to try them on!!!!! 0 -
There's a saying, "Why buy the cow, when the milk is free"
Sometimes, the milk is just that tasty!0 -
Absolutely! I "hooked" up with this guy one weekend, when neither of us were even looking for a relationship. Let's just say we didn't waste any time getting down to business either.
Much as it would be nice to get to know someone properly before u jump into bed with them, let's be honest in modern life that doesn't always happen and the getting to know u comes well...after.
Anyway to cut a long story short that "guy" is now my husband who I've been with 7 years
Sometimes you just have to take a chance!0 -
my boyfriend and i started out as friends with benefits a little less than 3 years ago... about half a year later, we were officially "together" and have stayed this way for the past 2 years.
one thing i wish we would've discussed would be what happens if we become more... we have arguments sometimes and i feel like we pushed each other into being together and now we're stuck. of course that feeling goes away the next day, but i just wonder what it would have been like if we'd started out dating instead of just fooling around or just stayed friends with benefits.
so think about it, talk about it, figure it all out.
good luck!0 -
Trying to figure out how I feel about it is even more confusing
well I hope asking a large group of stramgers who cant even agree on diet soda will help.
Sometimes a stranger's insight can make you think.0 -
my first proper relationship came from myself and my ex partner of 4 years came from the two if us been tag alongs on his brothers and my friends date. we met on the wednesday together as bf/gf by the friday. lasted four years, have no regrets, we never argued, just wish we were more compatible in the end. he is a great guy just a shame we wanted different things. Id say go for it if you want to but always make sure you talk about things.0
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well I hope asking a large group of stramgers who cant even agree on diet soda will help.
LOVE IT!
But, to answer the OP - yes it can lead to more. There have already been a few people say that their hook ups lead to more, relationships do have to start somewhere and they do not all start with a few traditional dates. Since any relationship takes two people to work you have to make sure this is what you want as well. If you are good with the occasional hook up and would be satisfied if it did not grow into something else stick with that. Do not force yourself into something that you do not want just because someone else wants it.0 -
Well you two obviously have some chemistry and seem to enjoy hooking up with each other. What's the problem, you don't think he'll be attractive in the daylight?0
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Take it from someone who would have given ya go instead of talking... he's into you. The late night chats and wanting to go out... either you except it or not... it's now turned into something more for him.0
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He likes you. Now figure out if you like him. If you do go be happy.
^^^ This. If he didn't, you can bet he'd never suggest seeing you during the day.0 -
Hook ups happen because there is a mutual attraction. If they become repeat hook ups, it's because the sex is outstanding. The basis of any good relationship that stands the test of time is awesome sex. So, it makes a lot of sense that sometimes hook ups become real relationships.0
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Hmmmm.
So all you strangers have got me thinking.
And I have come to a conclusion!
I need to....talk to him. :P0 -
hehe
Just hang out with him.
It doesn't have to mean anything or become anything. Just see it as a way to pass time. Then, whatever happens, happens.0 -
I don't find anything strange about it. I can't imagine being with a person intimately and not ever wanting to have at least a bit of a connection on a more than physical level. The long talk would seem to indicate that it isn't just about hooking up more frequently.
Just my opinion.
Exactly.
Plus, the whole "hooking up" things happens typically b/c one or both people are genuinely attracted to the other - not just out of pure horniness.0 -
Hmmmm.
So all you strangers have got me thinking.
And I have come to a conclusion!
I need to....talk to him. :P
Good luck. I think it's healthy to honour your feelings, even if they can't be stated logically or explained coherently.0 -
There's a saying, "Why buy the cow, when the milk is free"
Sometimes, the milk is just that tasty!
And occasionally you might want to make cheese.0
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