at the end of my rope.

karylee44

i am so done today. i could use some support.. please no mocking im at the edge right now and can easily be pushed over.
i found out i have been blacklisted at one of my jobs (in other words.. fired). cowards wont even tell me.. i found out by accident. i have been trying to find another job but no one is hiring right now (and i would work anywhere at this point) i have had to pawn alot of my things to support my kids. and have to look around the house again today to find more things to sell.. which will most likely include my jewelry. i have been told this week i am not worth ****, and am a horrible person. i have tried to be tough. tried to be strong.. im so very very tired today.. i just want to sleep forever. i have no means of support and the last thing holding me together fell apart last night. i so tired. i dont know what i am looking for.. i guess just venting.. im supposed to be the strong one and just can not do it anymore..


I woke up tired today. I stayed that way the entire month. Life is wearing me thin. I don’t feel that glimmer in my eyes, that strength in my soul. Some days the depression is so hard to take, sometimes the shear mental fatigue is too much to bear. No matter how many hours I sleep at night, the mornings bring the same thing. I woke up tired today.

jlg6599

Pray for strength to get you through these rough times. I know it is not easy to beleive right now, but God has something great in store for you. One door may close, but many others will open. you don't deserve to be treated that way. Don't give up on life or yourself. Stay strong for you and your kids and always remember that God has your back. Be faithful!

DANCHAN1

I get that you are tired and you need a break. So take the day but then come back swinging. You have children who depend on you to be strong. You deserve the time to feel sorry for yourself and have a little pity party.

Now get up and move forward...if you are not moving towards something than you will get nowhere.

You can do this. You ahve done it so far.

coolbluecris

You are not who other people say you are. You are who you decide to be :-)

You could approach your employer as if you know nothing, and ask what's going on. If they play dumb, tell them you heard a rumour, and ask if its true, and why. You deserve to know. Why not?

A friend of mine put an ad in the paper to do ironing. She charges a cheap rate of $25 per basket (and people stuff in lots of shirts), but she's getting 4 or 5 baskets a week, in a small country town. Just an example of an idea, I'm sure you have many more.

I send you lots of virtual hugs xxx oh, and this . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeTMVq6kQZI&feature=fvst

goblynn

Not that you don't have reason (from the list of things that you are going through) but I would suggest a change in the way you are thinking. Find one or two things that are positive right now. It is amazing how positive feelings can grow if you focus on them instead of being consumed in helplessness and negativity.
Even if something as simple as still having a wonderful home or keeping your weight off or the smile of your children or dog.

I have been reading a book called authentic happiness--- as I too was in a dark spot awhile back. Now, with the help of positive thinking I have changed my outlook and negative self-talk habits.

Keep that chin up!!!!

chicpeach

If you have any kind of religious affiliation, even if you haven't been active in years, I would encourage you to see out that house of worship. It's times like what you're going thru right now that it's necessary to walk faith, not by sight.

noneya2010

So sorry you are going through such a hard time. You have to be strong for your kids -- stand up, brush yourself off and push forward. You can do it and you will come out OK! Not sure where you live, but if they do fire you, you can file unemployment so you will have a little bit of money coming in. Also if you have any local universities, check there -- they are always hiring and although pay not be as high as it is in corporate world, benefits are wonderful and there is room for growth.

Life gets us all down sometimes -- its a very tough world out there but your kids NEED you and depend on you - mentally and financially so you have to take care of YOU!

Praying for you and that things work out.

heavenlydiamond

WORDS ONLY HAVE POWER IF WE LET THEM... BE IT GOOD OR BAD... REMEMBER WE CAN NOT CONTROL ANYONE ELSES THOUGHTS FEELINGS OR BEHAVIORS ....IF YOU BELIEVE IN GOD... THEN PRAY.... ALSO... SOMETIMES TOO MUCH SLEEP WILL KEEP YOU TIRED..... DIG DEEP... FIND YOUR INNER STRENGTH.... DO NOT LET ANYONE DETERMINE WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOUR VALUE IS....EXCEPT YOU .... WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES....ANOTHER OPENS THEY SAY... SO CHANGE YOUR THINKING AND FOCUS ON WHAT IS NOT NEGATIVE.... SLEEPING FOREVER IS N E V E R A CHOICE... SO GET THAT OUT OF YOUR HEAD.... AND IT MAY NOT FEEL LIKE IT RIGHT NOW... BUT REMEMBER... THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO IS LESS FORTUNATE..... KEEP YA HEAD FORWARD SO YOU CAN SEE WHERE YOU RE GOING.... I SAID A PRAYER FOR YOU.....

coolbluecris

Please watch this, it will inspire you, I promise . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DeTMVq6kQZI&feature=fvst

(I added it to my original post too xxx)

KenziesMomma11

I'm so sorry you are going through such tough times. I too am battling some pretty gloomy feelings. Just keep looking at those sweet little faces that LOVE you NO MATTER WHAT. Can you ask a friend/relative to take the kiddos for a day or two so you can put the pedal to the metal? Do you qualify for unemployment? Can you take a loan from friend/relative so you don't have to sell your jewlery?

You are beautiful, smart, and worthy of love and respect. Forget the names and faces of those who don't give you that love and respect because they aren't worthy of a place in YOUR life.


Best of luck to you.

ChrisIn757

Stay strong. I hear you that it's been a long time, but you can do it. You are not weak. YOU HAVE LOST 39 LBS!!! That's proof of your strength right there. Change your profile pic to something that makes you smile, and any time you feel the clouds coming redirect your attention, dont focus on it. Your kids need to see you strong in the face of adversity, so they will grow up knowing how to fight it as well. Call a friend, get a babysitter for the night and just relax/decompress. Focus on the small bits of the bigger "problem" that you are currently capable of managing and the rest will fall in line. As cliche as it may sound, pray, and when you are done praying, work out. Both are great stress relievers. Good luck and drop a PM if I can help any more.

Nimbkar

May God give you the inner strength to pull you out of this.

76wendyful

Google: Emotional Freedom Technique and Access Consciousness. I just started going to a counselor and he mentioned these to me and it has helped so far.
Please talk to someone and take care of yourself.

Malaika946

People have posted some good advice above. Stay strong. Hope things change fir the bettet soon

LCBinGA

I don't know you, but here are a few things to remember:
1- God won't leave you!
2-You've got wonderful kids that need and want you
3-You've come so far with your health and weight loss
4-With the job loss, it's their loss
5-Many people here are also going through tough times and are here for continued support
6- SOMEBODY ELSE'S OPINION OF YOU IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS BE STRONG! YOU WILL OVERCOME!!

siberianlilly

There's a few things I can tell you. One, stop blaming yourself. You can only do what you can. Now is the time to ask for help. I would recommend you going to your local Christ Central, Good Will and Salvation Army. Those places can help you and your family in times like now. Another is to pray. God will give you strength, and as been. The question to ask yourself is have you been having a pity party, or choosing to be completely strong? Mentally, physically and emotionally. We attract what we are. As of right now you are not fired. Go to your boss and ask them "How can I serve this company and you better?" Really listen, take notes and then ask for 30-60 days to put those steps into place. If you don't come out the employee they wanted then they can let you go. It will show them you're willing to learn, adapt and meet their needs.
Do not give up on yourself! Look around you. Are you living as if you're blessed or as if you're not sure where the next meal will come from? If you want success, whatever that maybe for you, then live like you have it now. Once you change your mindset, then your surroundings will follow.
Philippians 1:6: God will bring you to a flourishing finish!
I understand your pain. I'm a mom of three, on food stamps and medicaid all while trying to build a business. My success is slowly coming because I changed my mind. It's truly that simple. I pray for your guidance, healing and freedom.

Pronoiac

"Fatigue makes cowards of us all." I don't know who said this but I have seen the truth of it inmy life an others'.

From the snap shot I have of yoiur situation you don't seem weak, you seem pretty amazing. But you do sound exhausted. Having our fortunes controlled by such cowards can be exhausting, on top of the the more urgent 'real' stresses. There is some good advice above. Emotional Freedom Technique does work and is quite simple.

At times I have held onto just one positive thing I had driect influence over - my health/fitness. It has carried me through until things turned around.

God bless and good luck.

dejatyja

Ditto to what everyone else has said. Main thing you will have to do is "CHANGE YOUR WAY OF THINKING!". I don't just say it because others have. I say it from experience.

I'm a single mother of 4. Got laid off an awesome job back in 2007. Have had to had 3 part-time jobs here and there since then (with approx. 6-10 break in btween each job). Fast forward to now. I was let go on my part time job Nov. 2011 and was denied unemployment (even after I appealed it). I've had to sell my jewelry, my IPod, sold bicycles, furniture and much more. I was depressed (sometimes wanted to just quit everything and near suicidal). But you know what, I overcame all of it. The thing is, I was determined I was not going out like that. It took some serious prayer and believe it or not, my kids helped me and didn't realize it. I had come this far and I was not going to quit (how everyone thought I would). I realized my kids needed me as much as I needed them. I went back to school, while I was at my last part-time job. I'll be starting my internship on May 21 and will be complete with the program August 3. And through it all, my kids showed the unconditional love and support that no other person could give. When I stressed about school and was ready to quit, my kids reminded me of how far we have come. We can tell you what to do and make suggestions but most of all, you have got to be determined to make that mental change.

When your back is up against the wall and you are tired YOU have got to come out swinging with everything you've got. Forget what people called you, you make them out to be a liar!

It's up to you. Make the right decision for you and your children.

dinovino_59

"If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces,
never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.
Flavia Weedn

jodycoady

The only thing that has helped me through dark times is God. Even if you don't believe, and never have, at least try it! We all go through bad times, and it seems it all happens at once. I find friends don't really understand, but I do hope you know that it's time to reach out and pray. Take care and add me if you want extra support.

I couldn't find a job in my field and experience in the remote town I'm in, but I just recently got a job at a dollar store. Who cares, it's a job.

_Bob_

I was there last year, it got bad for me. It's finally getting better because I stuck with it.

and by bad I mean lost job, homeless for a bit, it was a hard recovery but it was worth it.

saintspoon

Hi!

Sorry we had to meet this way

I'm not very religious & I've never been in your shoes so I don't have anything too special to say here. However I know sometimes it;s nice to have someone you can talk to & can at least be sympathetic & tell you that you are not worthless!

If you would like to talk or if you just want some extra friends to help you out on here please feel free to add me. Nothing you say or post will be taken as whining

best of luck to you lady!!

Usbornegal

Contact your local community access/mental health center and get a counselor to talk to - they will work it out on costs for you. You sound like you are depressed (with plenty of reasons to be), and a trained therapist can make a world of difference.

Reminds me of a song 'When you're going through hell, keep on going, don't look back if your scared don't show it. You might get out before the devil even knows you're there.'

Keep going, child - life can only go up from here!

dinovino_59

On a cloudy day, the clouds hide the sun, but the sun is always there. The clouds of thoughts, worries and desires cover and hide our happiness. We have to disperse them in order to experience it. Then the happiness that is inherent in the soul and is always there shines forth.

Jesea

My mom was a single mom of two, and the greatest gift she gave us was the gift of innocence. It wasn't until I was an adult that I understood how hard she worked to support us, how close we were to the edge. Everything was an adventure, and we did very few things that cost money. We'd get books at the library and picnic lunches are fun for kids even if you just walk somewhere and eat PB and Js. We were also very active at our church, it was fun to be with kids our age, and my mom got to talk to other adults.

Be strong, put on a brave face for your kids, "fake it til you make it".But also take time for yourself. Ask a friend to watch them while you work on your resume. Ask at the library about job searches and free classes they may offer or know about. After the kids go to bed, take a long, relaxing bath, or pop in a workout DVD.

You can get through this, you've come so far!

Maude_Lewbowski

Stay strong, buy yourself some flowers. If you can, try to see a doctor and have your thyroid checked (google it and see why) talk to a good friend, go to church, watch your favorite movie but most importantly : NEVER GIVE UP.

Dayna154

We all have speed bumps and on occasion road blocks in life.
How we get thru it or decide to deal with it is what decides who will win and who will fail.
I was a single mom with two little kids and no support.
I just decided to show all of the ones who said I could that I would.. AND that I would do it on my own..
I have been doing it for 20+ years.. good luck you can do this

myfitnessnmhoy

"If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces,
never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.
Flavia Weedn

If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, just think of the new dream you can build because, look, a thousand pieces to build with!

MystiqueASAP

You have to realize your self-worth. People will always try to bring you down as misery loves company. Forget that job, as there is a better job out there for you. Sometimes we have to fully let something go before the next opportunity presents itself. Take this time for you and do what you can.

Feel free to add me if you need/want motivational support.

w2bab

It will get better. Trust me, it really will. I've dealt with severe, chronic depression my whole life, and I was a single mom the last 15 years my three kids were at home. We struggled a lot, and we were poor. And my kids knew that we were struggling. More than once we all pulled together to get bills paid and to keep food on the table. It was me and them against the world.

We made it through it though, and now I have three wonderful adult children who have a real appreciation for what it means to come together and push forward. You can do this, and when your kids realize how hard you worked to keep their world together they will love you and respect you that much more.

karylee44

thank you everyone for your support and suggestions.. i try not to fall apart very often.. but i was so very very tired today.. even in the dreams i had today.. i was tired.
i have made it through today
and hopefully wednesday will be better.. i am booked to work for the day (only day this week). so at least the kids will keep me going.
thank you again for everything...