Clothing shopping crushed my soul

beautifulstronghealthy

I felt really great about the 20 pounds I've lost until I spent 10 soul crushing hours shopping for clothes for the big weekend. I'm realizing that I have a really long way to go. A plateau on top of that is nearly bringing me to tears. Trying to take the advice of someone I heard that said you should never talk to yourself in a way that you wouldn't talk to a child you loved. But how did I ever get this big without even realizing it? As I'm trying on clothes it seems like I'm seeing myself as fat for the first time and not just kind of chubby. I'm really discouraged about my progress. It has been 3 months and I've lost 20 pounds but hardly anyone has noticed. Only 1 of my 3 sisters has noticed. Please help. I'm never going to quit this journey but it is so hard to look at the next 2 years of hard work and believe that I can really do it. Any of you have advice? I rarely go over my calories (started at 240 lb) and I do kickboxing 5 hours a week plus other things like walking, swimming, and gardening because I love being active.

kryscallarman

I've lost about 10 pounds (waiting until Thursday weigh in day to update) and I am still amazed how big I am. I gained it slowly over the years but I wish someone would spoke up. I don't know if I have really lost enough for others to notice (though my female co-workers have said I look thinner).

Keep your chin up and know things take time. You are not alone.

As for the plateau, I wish I had advice. Normally when I hit mine, I quit. Switch up your diet, change your exercise???

cheekym31

the best advice i could give anyone is to take it day at a time, sometimes if i set myself too big a target it seems miles away but if i break it into lots of smaller targets i know they are achievable. always reward yourself for getting closer to your goal and constantly remind yourself of how far you have come. hope this helps. marissa

Christi6604

I felt really great about the 20 pounds I've lost until I spent 10 soul crushing hours shopping for clothes for the big weekend. I'm realizing that I have a really long way to go. A plateau on top of that is nearly bringing me to tears. Trying to take the advice of someone I heard that said you should never talk to yourself in a way that you wouldn't talk to a child you loved. But how did I ever get this big without even realizing it? As I'm trying on clothes it seems like I'm seeing myself as fat for the first time and not just kind of chubby. I'm really discouraged about my progress. It has been 3 months and I've lost 20 pounds but hardly anyone has noticed. Only 1 of my 3 sisters has noticed. Please help. I'm never going to quit this journey but it is so hard to look at the next 2 years of hard work and believe that I can really do it. Any of you have advice? I rarely go over my calories (started at 240 lb) and I do kickboxing 5 hours a week plus other things like walking, swimming, and gardening because I love being active.

I never really noticed how much I was putting on at the time either, which really blows my mind now. You are definitely not the only one whose done that. ...Theres a quote from Maya Angelou that occurs to me here..."When you know better, you do better." It took me a long time to view weight loss as a journey to a fit life instead of "getting skinny" only. You can do this. The only way you can't succeed is if you quit. Keep trying. If the exercise gets too rough for a bit...ease back, take walks instead for a bit and modify your calories accordingly...just stay on track. Don't look too far ahead. People don't notice for quite a while...which is ok. It's about you and being there for your family. You can totally do this. Also, it sounds like you have a lot of activity...I wonder if you are under-eating a bit. Maybe try upping your calories by a couple hundred and see if it works. That helped me break my last plateau. Good luck. Hang in there. :happy:

Tree72

Take a deep breath and pause to realize that you are a wonderful person regardless of your size.

I can definitely empathize. I started out at 246. It took about 30 pounds for anyone to notice (or at least until they said anything). But then everyone started noticing. And, not to scare you, but it's taken me about 2 years to get the the weight I am now (around 165). I've done the whole thing by making incremental changes. I knew I wouldn't stick to it if I tried something radical. So I just kept making small changes that I could live with. Some points are easier and some are harder. But if you keep moving forward, you will achieve your goals. So, just take it one day at a time.

misskerouac

:frown:

Don't let it upset you.
I have learnt something in the last few years..... Clothes are dumb.

I have lost 14lbs (started at 185 now 171) since November....I have bought 1 new pair of pants and 2 shirts.
I go try on clothes, think "WTF, i've lost 14 lbs, how am I still the same friggin size of clothes???"

But it's a long process, i have to tell myself, it took years to put the weight on, it's going to take a while for it to come back off. You have lost 20lbs, that's WONDERFUL. Don't belittle what you've accomplished, you've done great! Just keep going.

If you are stuck, just change up your routine a bit, exercise or food wise.


BUT, remember...you are doing awesome

violetsue

Congradulations on the weight loss. What's important is that you are 20lbs healthier. Keep up the good work and stay motivated. Everything else will will fall in line later.

Pspetal

Clothes shopping can be brutal. I remember crying inside fitting rooms all the time when my weight loss didn't seem enough... Everything under xl or 1x was too tight. So I stopped going to shop for clothes. Just stopped. I kept calorie counting and working out day after day. Every week I would just wear my older clothes and feel good about how loose they were getting. Then finally when they got too loose, and I didn't have any clothes that fit, I decided to shop and saw that I was a size 14! I hit a 2 month plateau after that which was depressing as hell but I kept going because I didn't know what else to do. Now I'm a size 10. Don't go clothes shopping till everything is loose. I know that might sound dumb but it isn't worth getting so upset over.
Try strength training. It is more effective than cardio. It takes inches off within 3 weeks even if the weight doesn't decrease. You'll get fitter, stronger and look better and FEEL better.
People don't get how hard it is to lose 20 pounds... I know! What you have achieved so far is amazing! Keep going. All of us go through this stage. Just keep pushing on. You'll get there and it will be so worth it. You've already done more than most people even bother to. All the best!

beautifulstronghealthy

Thank you so much everyone. I'm in tears again, but because I am so grateful to have found this site. I've worked so hard and I'm going to do exactly what Pspetal said she did when she got stuck and said, "I kept going because I didn't know what else to do." That's exactly where I'm at. All I know is that I love my kickboxing and I love that my clothes are getting looser. After finding something tolerable to wear for my big weekend, I am ready to move forward. My self esteem is still hurting from the shopping, but I am coming to terms with the fact that I am still a plus-size as an 18 or 1x. I thought I had passed below that, but it's okay for now. Because of my extreme workouts I keep my calories at 2,000 but I don't eat more than 200 of my workout calories (I burn 1,000 an hour in kickboxing). I also do strength training. And I have 1-3 rest days each week. I know 5 hours of kickboxing is a lot, but I love it so much and it's the only thing that keeps me motivated and feeling good. Does that sound reasonable? Also, I eat an organic whole foods diet and cook almost everything from scratch, so I eat really healthy. I try to eat junk food rarely and even then in moderation.

weighlossforbaby

Clothes shopping crushes my soul every time too! I hate trying on pants mostly!!!

psiren28

Think of it this way: You're 20lbs lighter than you were a short while ago. 20lbs in 3 months is awesome!

I was where you are are now 2 years ago, it's taken me 2 years to lose 71lbs and finally get to my goal weight. Yes it's a long process but not nearly as long as it took to gain the weight in the first place.

My advice would be to not focus on the end goal too much, set yourself shorter term goals and be proud of what you've achieved so far. Looking at the end goal can be overwhelming and discouraging if you know you have a long way to go. Maybe buy yourself a garment in the next size down as a goal garment.

My first goal was to get out of the 'obese' category and into 'overweight'... sounds daft but I was jumping for joy when I was 'overweight' for the first time in years. If I was focussing on the end goal I would have missed out on all those little successes along the way.

If you've managed to lose 20lbs in 3 months I have no doubt you have it in you to reach your goals. Best of luck and very well done on your success so far x

LorinaLynn

Clothes ARE dumb. Seriously... they don't even have brains. Don't let them define you.

I'm at my goal, really happy with how I look naked, but I haven't found one pair shorts this year that fit my waist AND my thighs. One or the other. Not both. Jeans are a nightmare, too.

george29223

keep your chin up the weight loss has to be about you , 20 pounds is great and truthfully its not a twenty pound loss you said your weight snuck up on you what do you think you would weigh if you didnt start your diet? i bet atleast 5 pounds more , you niped that in the bud too , i say niccccccce job!

kristy6ward

I joined here at the tail end of January of this year and I've also only lost 20 lbs so far. But I'm tickled that my clothes are fitting looser and I'm wearing clothes I'd pushed to the back of the closet for being too tight. I refuse to buy new clothes until my old ones are obscenely too big. Why bother if I plan on losing more weight, right? I'm saving up for a goal weight shopping spree.

Sounds like in terms of your intake and exercise you're on the ball. But if you find yourself stalling, perhaps slipping in a few more calories on boxing days might work? I'm still scared to up my level to the 2000 all the calculators are pointing me to. So I'm inching and eat anywhere from 1750 to 1900 most days. My losses have slowed, so I'm trying new things, hopefully I can outlast the transition period. Keep up the good work.

misskerouac

Thank you so much everyone. I'm in tears again, but because I am so grateful to have found this site. I've worked so hard and I'm going to do exactly what Pspetal said she did when she got stuck and said, "I kept going because I didn't know what else to do." That's exactly where I'm at. All I know is that I love my kickboxing and I love that my clothes are getting looser. After finding something tolerable to wear for my big weekend, I am ready to move forward. My self esteem is still hurting from the shopping, but I am coming to terms with the fact that I am still a plus-size as an 18 or 1x. I thought I had passed below that, but it's okay for now. Because of my extreme workouts I keep my calories at 2,000 but I don't eat more than 200 of my workout calories (I burn 1,000 an hour in kickboxing). I also do strength training. And I have 1-3 rest days each week. I know 5 hours of kickboxing is a lot, but I love it so much and it's the only thing that keeps me motivated and feeling good. Does that sound reasonable? Also, I eat an organic whole foods diet and cook almost everything from scratch, so I eat really healthy. I try to eat junk food rarely and even then in moderation.

Just make sure you are eating enough. You want to make sure your body has enough fuel to keep up with your exercise. If you are eating 2000 cals, burning 1000, and eating 200 back, you are netting about 1200 calories those days. Some people think this ok, some don't. If your plateau lasts for a while and you get frustrated I would maybe search the forums for topics about "breaking plateaus".

ImRadical4Jesus

Congrats of the 20 pounds lost! I've only lost 13 but I've lost inches as well. No one has said anything to me about my lose either. I went from an 18 to a 14...I thought for sure everyone could see the difference. I've decided not to put my feelings on what other see me as, i know I have lost and I am doing this for me...not for anyone else, yes my family and hubby benefits from my lose of weight, but they love me the way I am. We are working so hard and yes want a pat on the back, but don't let that set you back...one day everyone will take a look at you and say..."dang girl...you are looking good!" Remember, you look good the way you are now!

Meganosborn1988

be positive! you lost 20 lbs!!!

Misalayne

I felt really great about the 20 pounds I've lost until I spent 10 soul crushing hours shopping for clothes for the big weekend. I'm realizing that I have a really long way to go. A plateau on top of that is nearly bringing me to tears. Trying to take the advice of someone I heard that said you should never talk to yourself in a way that you wouldn't talk to a child you loved. But how did I ever get this big without even realizing it? As I'm trying on clothes it seems like I'm seeing myself as fat for the first time and not just kind of chubby. I'm really discouraged about my progress. It has been 3 months and I've lost 20 pounds but hardly anyone has noticed. Only 1 of my 3 sisters has noticed. Please help. I'm never going to quit this journey but it is so hard to look at the next 2 years of hard work and believe that I can really do it. Any of you have advice? I rarely go over my calories (started at 240 lb) and I do kickboxing 5 hours a week plus other things like walking, swimming, and gardening because I love being active.

Please do not let this get you down! I know it's difficult, but you must stay strong and believe in yourself. Although, you've gained weight, that weight does not define the person you are. The weight is NOT there forever. That said, 20 pounds is a big deal!!

I want to tell you that my family and friends tell me I dress very well though I am a "real woman". I shop mostly at Dress Barn because thet have nice /casual and work clothes for normal size and plus size women.

You are a lovely woman! Continue on your program for you. Soon enough everyone will notice your success and you will get many compliments, but until then, we here at mfp are all here for you!

CherryOnionKiss

I lost 4 pounds is 3 months. I would sell my mom to lose 20 pounds in 3 months like you did :sad:

palmerig88

Ermmmm....well...I still don't feel like I know enough to give advice, BUT. Here is a bit.
People have just started noticing my weight loss at 31 pounds down, so you may not be to a noticeable (for them) clothes-on difference yet. But you are CLOSE.
I am noticing body changes that I feel wouldn't be happening if I wasn't strength training. My strength training wasn't advancing and my form was not getting better (aka I wasn't increasing from any of my starting weights) until I cut some of my cardio. That's right, I cut some of my cardio. Again, no joke, for real, I cut some cardio.
That is kind of a big biggie for me because I love to eat so much. Anywho, I began using my cardio as more of a warm up, getting enough schweat to earn some treat calories and warm enough to get a GOOD stretch in. Then, with better focus and a bit more time on the strength training, I felt it was more intense. Intense enough to record as a bit more cardio in my daily burn, which I had never done before. I am REALLY starting to see progress. I am wondering if I might reach my body goal before my weight loss goal. I really want to fit a size 6 and look tight and toned. If it doesn't take the 24 more pounds I think it will, then so be it.

sunnie326

I read a post on here, wish I could find it but it's been a bit ago. A lady said she went to Victoria Secret's to buy some bras. The ones she had always worn did not fit anymore. She had lost weight and was at an in between size. She was very upset. The lady at V.S did a fitting for her. Come to find out... she did need a smaller size and the lady showed her some bras that fit her perfectly. The moral of her story?? It's not you! It's just the wrong clothes!! I loved her post. Really struck a nerve for me. I hope that helps you a bit. It's the wrong clothes. Think about it... A size 18 can be too big, too small, and just right depending on the company that makes it.
Be proud of your success. You are doing well. Keep your chin up and keep on making it one day at a time. Good luck!!!!

fluffysexyme

I hit a plateau all last month. Nothing I did seemed to work and then the scale moved... Up! I was so upset!!! So I went back to square one- I increased food and my cardio and decreased my weights and then it fell off again. Best of luck hunny!

rima933

Clothes shopping can be brutal. I remember crying inside fitting rooms all the time when my weight loss didn't seem enough... Everything under xl or 1x was too tight. So I stopped going to shop for clothes. Just stopped. I kept calorie counting and working out day after day. Every week I would just wear my older clothes and feel good about how loose they were getting. Then finally when they got too loose, and I didn't have any clothes that fit, I decided to shop and saw that I was a size 14! I hit a 2 month plateau after that which was depressing as hell but I kept going because I didn't know what else to do. Now I'm a size 10. Don't go clothes shopping till everything is loose. I know that might sound dumb but it isn't worth getting so upset over.
Try strength training. It is more effective than cardio. It takes inches off within 3 weeks even if the weight doesn't decrease. You'll get fitter, stronger and look better and FEEL better.
People don't get how hard it is to lose 20 pounds... I know! What you have achieved so far is amazing! Keep going. All of us go through this stage. Just keep pushing on. You'll get there and it will be so worth it. You've already done more than most people even bother to. All the best!

^this!