Already... a Mother's Day argument with my husband.

BriskisGrl

We used to do half and half, but now we don't have the options of seeing our mothers at all. We have no family around us and haven't since we moved outta AZ in 06. It's just us and our two children. Your mother may have passed on but that doesn't take away the relevance and love you still have with her. I say go, but find a way to compromise so it's a win win for both of you.

amymeenieminymo

You're absolutely not overreacting. I lost my mom almost 8 years ago and when I first met my husband it was too painful for me to spend Mother's Day with his family, seeing him and his sibs all happy to get to be with their mom. The second year was easier because everyone else did their own thing so it was just me, my husband and my inlaws. Since then I can handle spending it with them, and I love my MIL, she's amazing. But, this year I'm having a harder time with it. I always miss my mom, but this was suposed to be my first mothers day too but I miscarried early on and haven't had luck getting pregnant again yet. I will send a card with love, but I told my husband he can go see his mom and I will be spending the day with my grandma visiting my mom's grave.

Maybe try explaining to your husband that it's very hard without your mom, and spending time at the ceremtary is a way for you to feel closer to her. Some people just don't understand the value in visiting a grave. My husband has only been to his grandma's grave once in five years and has no plans to go again. When my mom first died I was at her grave every week for a while, and it's lessened over the years but we try to go every few months and then sometimes I just go when I need to. I feel close to her there, peaceful.

If he cannot be reasoned with and doesn't understand the need, see if you can compromise. Does his mom live close enough that you could leave her for a bit on Sunday to go to the cemetary? Or leave her house earlier on Sunday so you can go on the way home? If he still isn't agreeable to that, just tell him to go spend the weekend with his mom, and you'll be spending it with yours. There is really no reason you both have to be there to care for his mom anyway. Good luck.

foxy2311

And to answer your question, I don't think you're overreacting. Go see your mom. Like others have said...your husband and his mother will be there when your down with your time.

StarvingDiva

I can see both sides of this, but i also had wonderful advice when growing up...watch how a man treats his mother and you will have a good gage on how he will treat his wife. Sounds like a keeper to me lol. Maybe if you took the time to visit you mother's grave at a different time it would help keep the peace. Your mom would understand and your husband will appreciate the effort. Hope this helps.

With all due respect where is the respect and understanding on his side? She lost her mother and she would like a little time out to visit the cemetery and his concern is how much time it will take up from her spending time with his mom who is still here. I feel like we read a totally different post here. It doesn't sound like her husband is being very understanding of her feelings at all. Also, I am not a fan of her always having to accommodate him, so to keep the peace, she should go and visit her mothers grave another time? She should accommodate his feelings only apparently. How about he go see his mom and than after her hour or so visit she can go to his moms, after all they are spending practically 2 whole days there, I think he can accommodate her for a couple hours to pay her respects.

ElizabethRoad

"I'm going to the cemetery."
"How long will you be?"
"As long as it takes."

You've always caved so of course he is going to expect you to do so again. Stand up for yourself and don't make it a big deal. He can ask you to spend the day with his mom but he can't force you.

zmzmzm19

Since it is his Mom, I would tell him after you get to her house, that you are going to go visit your Mom at the Cemetary, any person, be it a husband or whoever, should be more than ok with that.(I would hope he could hold the fort down with his Mom while you are out) Best wishes to you-you certainly deserve time to visit your Mom. :flowerforyou:

Blaireli

I'm really sorry you're going through this. I think if you feel as though you should be with your mother, so be it. He needs to respect you and your decisions. His mom might appreciate having some one on one time with him. Hopefully this isn't too hard of a weekend for you.

stargazer008

No you're not overreacting, I'd be angry too if a husband said that to me.

wolverine66

My wife's mother passed away about 10 years ago, and I can't imagine telling her that she couldn't see her on mother's day (or any other day, for that matter).