So... I guess i am a selfish B*tch?

LemonBurns
LemonBurns Posts: 538 Member
in Chit-Chat
It's Mother's day tomorrow... and OMG - I am HORRIBLE to actually want to be ALONE and do what I want to do - Imagine that?

Don't get me wrong, I ADORE my girls, but I see them EVERY day and I cater to their EVERY need all day long. I am great at having tea parties, making their stuffed animals talk, going for bike rides, playing at the park, playing Princess, and dressing up... but really?... please... just one day off... please!!! Is it too much to ask, for real? And they are at a stage (ages 6 & 3) where they fight and argue and temper tantrum all-day-long (ok, maybe that is an exaggeration, but it feels that way) and for one GLORIOUS day, I don't want to have to deal with it!

I wanna sleep in, I wanna go for a run, I wanna go to the gym, I wanna go out with MY Mum... but i am being made feel guilty for not wanting to spend the whole day with my kids... Apparently, the 6 year old tells me, that Mother's Day is for spending time with Mom - I would be happy to have them make me a post-run, pre-gym breakfast - but can it NOT be pancakes... I HATE pancakes!

So I guess this makes me a B*tch?
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Replies

  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 926 Member
    Nope...not even close to being a B.

    It is your day, I sincerely hope you get to enjoy it pancake free!
  • BeautifulKristen
    BeautifulKristen Posts: 281
    Um Mother's day is supposed to be for MOTHER's! You are right to think like that! Mother's are supposed to do what they WANNA do when it is there day. That is why it is called MOTHER's DAY! lol

    My mom doesn't want to bring my fiance to work because it is mother's day. So I understand that because it is her day..

    lol I don't mind if I see her or not. I will only buy her a card tho and go see her for a half hour or so but to be honest you don't sound selfish.. I don't think..
  • Jessica_Henry74
    Jessica_Henry74 Posts: 141
    What if you just took a part of the day for yourself, and then had some quality time with your family?
  • zooblflot
    zooblflot Posts: 131
    Not at all. It's mothers day and you should be able to do what you want.
  • InvidiaXII
    InvidiaXII Posts: 315 Member
    No, it definitely does not make you a b**ch! You sound like a great mom. I hope you get some time to relax tomorrow!
  • interceptor311
    interceptor311 Posts: 980 Member
    I wish my wife would want to be left alone.
  • TheCats_Meow
    TheCats_Meow Posts: 438 Member
    Not at all! Unless I'm one, too, because I was actually a bit grateful that this weekend just so happened to be my kids' weekend with their dad!

    That's all moms ever really want, is a break! At least I do. They drain me. I love them dearly, but, again, they wear me out mentally & physically!
  • fatfrost
    fatfrost Posts: 367 Member
    Well, I think that you've earned a day off. Doesn't sound selfish to me. Plus three and six can wear you down. I know from experience (6, 2 and 2)!
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    No, your not at all. Maybe split the day in half by yourself then with your family. You sound like an amazing dedicated mom!!!
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
    I told my children way in advance that for Mother's Day they would take me to an event (a tea party deal) and then we would all go to the track after we changed. Everyone got to spend a bit of time together and a bit of time apart. I don't think you're anything other than a regular person that would like some time to do what you want to do.
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    Can we make it three days?
  • mdsjmom98
    mdsjmom98 Posts: 333 Member
    NOPE! Absolutely not. It's your day, spend it how you want. My son heard on the radio that the number one request of most moms is exactly what you are asking for, is to just have a day of peace. I guess if you're a b!tch then so are some other moms!!! Enjoy your day!!
  • Denjo060
    Denjo060 Posts: 1,008
    LOL oh how I miss those days of runny eggs and burnt toast enjoy the kids while you can and believe me they will never forget those day with their mom play into it and then go to the gym later you will never get theses times back
  • manic4titans
    manic4titans Posts: 1,214 Member
    No , you just need to vent. I think when tomorrow comes you will be glad to spend the day with your babies.

    I'm sure I'll get the same dry toast and cold eggs in bed. LOL I hate eating when I first get up but I do it because my kids are trying to please me and make it all about me.
  • cyn4him
    cyn4him Posts: 83 Member
    I just had this conversation yesterday. I am right there with you. I think a lot of moms are. We give so much all the time. Sometimes we want our own. And luckily I myself have been blessed with a husband who understands that. He Yves me random days off. He helps with cooking. He even kinda helps with cleaning..... of course no one gets it like I want it. But I gotta give em credit. Lol. But no. In my opinion that does not make you selfish. It makes you human. And very real to be able to admit it.
  • katemme
    katemme Posts: 191
    Nope! Even though you are a parent, you deserve a little time to yourself! Suggest to your husband and kids to get you like a spa certificate, and go relax there! They want to spend time with you though because obviously they love you!
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
    Whilst I know what you mean, I think a big part of mothers day while they are very young is your kids feeling like they are making you happy. I think telling then you don't want the breakfast they worked hard at and that it would make you happier if they went away for awhile, is about as harsh as telling them you don't like their homemade card.
    Talk to your partner about getting a day to yourself another day maybe?
    They are only young once, mothers day will be different as they get older.
  • Denjo060
    Denjo060 Posts: 1,008
    I wish my wife would want to be left alone.






    LOL :bigsmile: :laugh: :laugh:
  • jsapninz
    jsapninz Posts: 909 Member
    Maybe you should take more time for yourself on a regular basis. I see this alot with mom's...they give EVERY OUNCE they have in an attempt to be a supermom and then have nothing left for themselves. :frown:

    Definitely take the day off!

    And maybe, carve out a little time each month/day/week for just you, whether it is taking a quiet bath where the kids won't bug, get a manicure, go out for a special coffee, SOMETHING. Rejuvinate yourself a little bit periodically, and you will be refreshed an ready for the world. :flowerforyou: You won't store it all up and then burn out.

    Besides, ALL children need to learn they aren't the center of the world, or THEY will be brought up being selfish.
  • jb140
    jb140 Posts: 29
    First of all...I gotta say...I Have that SAME HAIR!!! Some where in my closet...LOL!! I reallly do!

    Secondly...You Are NOT selfish. What part of "cater to their EVERY need all day long" is selfish.

    At 6 & 3, yes, they are pretty much a full time job still. YOU NEED TO STOP FEELING GUILTY!!!
    Kids are incrediblly resilliant...and oblivious. They are the egocentric ones. Even mine at ages16 and 13...especially so at their age!!

    If you take a day...Hell, even just a couple hours to yourself...Honey believe me...Your kids are not even going to blink an eye at it.

    My daughter used to scream for hours at a time as an infant...and i felt like I was THE ONLY ONE who could comfort her or take care of her....now she's 13 and she doesn't even remember it..doesn't even want me to bring it up...nuf said I think.

    As parents we screw up ALL the time..and our kids don't even remember it. It ain't gonna hurt to do something for yourself on a regular basis. It may even keep you sane!!!
  • cspong
    cspong Posts: 260 Member
    Absolutely not. Moms deserve a break. We deserva a day to ourselves and it totally makes sense for you to choose mother's day

    but... and maybe this makes ME a *****. Its a six year old who's saying this from what I'm reading. And she wants to spend her day with you. And make you pancakes...

    If it is your husband who was making you feel like this, your rant is totally justified. If it's your six year old... I think this might be an over-reaction...
  • JustLindaLou
    JustLindaLou Posts: 376 Member
    Oh I want a Day for ME so badly!!!! Better yet a weekend.... No it is not selfish or *****y, it is the reality of how draining it is to be MOM 24/7/365...
  • heather1945
    heather1945 Posts: 117 Member
    I totatally agree with all the above!!! It's YOUR day ...enjoy...without a twinge of guilt...It's Mothers' Day here too, in New Zealand. I'd rather not have the hassle of expecting to be pampered for thisone day. Why not every day of the year???..:-}
  • PrfctGdess
    PrfctGdess Posts: 257
    Girl, ALL us mom's (esp. with small kids) need a break sometimes. :) My boys are 5, 3, and 21 months, so I get it - you're in good company :)

    Our pastor calls this phase "Preschool Purgatory" LOL The kids are SO much fun, but SO trying at the same time. :)
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    I agree about taking another day off to yourself, and you can even explain to your kids that it is good to have days where you take care of yourself. But even though as an adult I can totally understanding dreaming about Mother's Day being a day off, I think a 6 year old would have a hard time with the concept.
  • Wendysworld13
    Wendysworld13 Posts: 225 Member
    I tell my son on a regular basis that I am not A b*tch, I am THE QUEEN B*TCH - and he is not to forget it. Not just on Mothers Day, but everyday you need time for yourself - it is good for you and good for your kids. They need to learn to play and work together even if it is for 1/2 an hour while you do a workout video or crossword puzzle - and if they argue or try to pull you in simply say - nope this is my time, and you need to fgure out how to work it out yourselves. It will teach them to be self sufficient, and teach them that it is important to have a little me time everyday. As for mothers day - ask for what you need or you will never get it! Just be reasonable - cause sometimes when you get what you ask for it turns out to not be so good. Enough philosophy for one night! Good Luck
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    Oh and then have dinner with your mom. Explain to your 6 year old that your mom wants to see her daughter too on Mother's Day.
  • fypspirit
    fypspirit Posts: 109 Member
    I don't think you are either. When father's day rolls around my husband gets to go golfing and NOT with the kids. I won't get the day off either so I know how ya feel. Hope you can find happiness in your day tomorrow we all deserve it.
  • PhenomeNae
    PhenomeNae Posts: 130 Member
    no, i don't think you're a B*tch for wanting to do what you want to do on Mother's day. Especially if that includes NOT making breakfast for your household. I mean c'mon. If you don't want to cook, you shouldn't have to. And yea, if you want to spend time with your mum, go for it! Either way I hope you have a great Mom's day <3
  • ChubbyStudent25
    ChubbyStudent25 Posts: 74
    Whilst I know what you mean, I think a big part of mothers day while they are very young is your kids feeling like they are making you happy. I think telling then you don't want the breakfast they worked hard at and that it would make you happier if they went away for awhile, is about as harsh as telling them you don't like their homemade card.
    Talk to your partner about getting a day to yourself another day maybe?
    They are only young once, mothers day will be different as they get older.

    Exactly and they are 3 and 6. I would have balled my eyes out if my mom said she didn't want to spend mothers day with me when I was that age.

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